The Ingoldsby Legends or, Mirth and Marvels. By Thomas Ingoldsby [i.e. R. H. Barham] |
 | I. |
|
|
| I. |
|
|
|
| I. |
| II. |
| III. |
| IV. |
| V. |
|
| II. |
|
| I. |
| II. |
|
|
|
| 1. |
| II. |
|
| I. |
| II. |
| III. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 3. |
|
|
|
|
MORAL. |
|
|
|
|
|
 | The Ingoldsby Legends |  |
MORAL.
It's a subject of serious complaint in some houses,
With young married men who have elderly spouses,
That persons are seen in their figures and faces,
With very queer people in very queer places,
So like them that one for the other's oft taken,
And conjugal confidence thereby much shaken:
Explanations too often are thought mere pretences,
And Richard gets scolded for Robert's offences.
With young married men who have elderly spouses,
That persons are seen in their figures and faces,
With very queer people in very queer places,
So like them that one for the other's oft taken,
And conjugal confidence thereby much shaken:
Explanations too often are thought mere pretences,
And Richard gets scolded for Robert's offences.
In a matter so nice,
If I'm ask'd my advice,
I say copy King Henry to obviate that,
And stick something remarkable up in your hat!
If I'm ask'd my advice,
I say copy King Henry to obviate that,
And stick something remarkable up in your hat!
Next, observe, in this world where we've so many cheats,
How useful it is to preserve your receipts!
If you deal with a person whose truth you don't doubt
Be particular, still, that your bill is cross'd out;
But, with any inducement to think him a scamp,
Have a formal receipt on a regular stamp!
Let every gay gallant my story who notes
Take warning, and not go on “sowing wild oats!”
Nor depend that some friend
Will always attend,
And by “making all right” bring him off in the end,
He may be mistaken so let him beware,
St. Thomas A'Beckets are now rather rare.
How useful it is to preserve your receipts!
If you deal with a person whose truth you don't doubt
Be particular, still, that your bill is cross'd out;
But, with any inducement to think him a scamp,
Have a formal receipt on a regular stamp!
272
Take warning, and not go on “sowing wild oats!”
Nor depend that some friend
Will always attend,
And by “making all right” bring him off in the end,
He may be mistaken so let him beware,
St. Thomas A'Beckets are now rather rare.
Last of all, may'rs and magistrates, never be rude
To juries! they are people who won't be pooh-pooh'd!
Especially Sandwich ones—no one can say
But himself may come under their clutches one day;
They then may pay off
In kind any scoff,
And, turning their late verdict quite “wisey wersey,”
“Acquit you,” and not “recommend you to mercy.”
To juries! they are people who won't be pooh-pooh'd!
Especially Sandwich ones—no one can say
But himself may come under their clutches one day;
They then may pay off
In kind any scoff,
And, turning their late verdict quite “wisey wersey,”
“Acquit you,” and not “recommend you to mercy.”
At a Quarter Sessions held at Sandwich, (some six miles from Birchington,) on Tuesday the 8th of April last, before W. F. Boteler, Esq., the recorder, Thomas Jones, mariner, aged 17, was tried for stealing a jacket, value ten shillings. The jury after a patient hearing, found him “not guilty,” and “recommended him to mercy.”—See the whole case reported in the “Kentish Observer,” April 10, 1845.
| The Ingoldsby Legends | |