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ACT II.
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547

ACT II.

SCENE I.

PHORMIO, GETA.
Phor.
And Antipho, you say, has slunk away,
Fearing his father's presence?

Get.
Very true.

Phor.
Poor Phanium left alone?

Get.
'Tis even so.

Phor.
And the old gentleman enrag'd?

Get.
Indeed.

Phor.
The sum of all then, Phormio, rests on You:
On you, and you alone. You've bak'd this cake;
E'en eat it for your pains. About it then!

Get.
I do beseech you.

Phor.
to himself.]
What if he enquire?—

Get.
Our only hope's in You.

Phor.
to himself.]
I have it!—Then,
Suppose he offer to return the girl?—


548

Get.
You urg'd us to it.

Phor.
to himself.]
Ay! it shall be so.

Get.
Assist us!

Phor.
Let him come, Old Gentleman!
'Tis here: it is engender'd: I am arm'd
With all my counsels.

Get.
What d'ye mean to do?

Phor.
What wou'd you have me do, unless contrive
That Phanium may remain, that Antipho
Be freed from blame, and all the the old man's rage
Turn'd upon Me?

Get.
Brave fellow! friend indeed!
And yet I often tremble for you, Phormio,
Lest all this noble confidence of your's
End in the stocks at last.

Phor.
Ah, 'tis not so.
I'm an old stager too, and know my road.
How many men d'ye think I've bastinadoed

549

Almost to death? Aliens, and Citizens?
The oftner, still the safer.—Tell me then,
Didst ever hear of actions for assault
And batt'ry brought against me?

Get.
How comes that?

Phor.
Because the net's not stretch'd to catch the hawk,
Or kite, who do us wrong; but laid for those,
Who do us none at all: In them there's profit,
In those mere labour lost. Thus other men
May be in danger, who have aught to lose;
I, the world knows, have nothing.—You will say,
They'll seize my person.—No, they won't maintain
A fellow of my stomach.—And they're wise,
In my opinion, if for injuries
They'll not return the highest benefit.

Get.
It is impossible for Antipho
To give you thanks sufficient.

Phor.
Rather say,
No man sufficiently can thank his patron.
You at free cost to come! anointed, bath'd,

550

Easy and gay! while he's eat up with care
And charge, to cater for your entertainment!
He gnaws his heart, you laugh; eat first, sit first,
And see a Doubtful Banquet plac'd before you!

Get.
Doubtful! what phrase is that?

Phor.
Where you're in doubt,
What you shall rather chuse. Delights like these,
When you but think how sweet, how dear, they are;
Him that affords them must you not suppose
A very Deity?

Get.
The old man's here.
Mind what you do! the first attack's the fiercest:
Sustain but that, the rest will be mere play.

[they retire.
 

It is said that this play being once rehearsed before Terence and some of his most intimate acquaintance, Ambivius, who acted the part of Phormio, came in drunk, which threw the author into a violent passion: but Ambivius had scarce repeated a few lines, stammering, and scratching his head, before Terence became pacified, declaring that when he was writing those very lines, he absolutely had just such a Parasite, as Ambivius then represented, in his thoughts. Donatus.

In this scene Terence exhibits the lower order of Parasites, who ingratiated themselves by Sharping and Roguery; as in the Eunuch he describes the Parasites of a higher rank, and of a newer species, who obtained their ends by Flattery. Donatus.

In nervum erumpat denique. Several interpretations are given of these words. By some in nervum erumpere is supposed to allude to the drawing of a bow till the string break: but the phrase is more generally supposed in this place to imply some corporal punishment inflicted on malefactors. Quia sæpe in nervum conjiciebantur, ex aliquo maleficio in carcerem missi, says Donatus. Westerhovius explains this passage thus. Est autem Nervus vinculi lignei genus, in quod pedes conjecti arctantur; which is a pretty exact description of the stocks.

Ducent damnatum domum. Literally, they will lead me condemned home. For, as Donatus observes on this passage, Insolvent Debtors were by the Law made over as slaves to their Creditors.

This passage is not taken from Apollodorus, but from the sixth book of the satires of Ennius.

Quippe sine curâ, lætus, lautus, cum advenis,
Infertis malis, expedito brachio,
Alacer, celsus, lupino expectans impetu,
Mox dum alterius abligurias bona: quid
Censes Dominis esse animi? proh divûm fides!
Ille tristis cibum dum servat, tu ridens voras.
Gay void of care, anointed when you come,
With smacking jaw, and arm prepar'd to carve,
Keen, eager, and impatient as the Wolf,
Expecting every moment to fall on,
And gorge yourself at his expence; what, think you,
Possesses then the master's mind? Good heaven!
He sits, and with a melancholy air
Broods o'er the feast, which laughing you devour.
Donatus.

Cœna dubia. Phormio explains this expression himself. Horace, who takes frequent opportunities of imitating our author, has adopted this phrase.


551

SCENE II.

Enter at a distance DEMIPHO.—HEGIO, CRATINUS, CRITO, following.
Dem.
Was ever man so grossly treated, think ye?
—This way, Sirs, I beseech you.

Get.
He's enrag'd!

Phor.
Hist! mind your cue: I'll work him.
[coming forward, and speaking loud.]
Oh, ye Gods!

Does he deny that Phanium's his relation?
What, Demipho! Does Demipho deny
That Phanium is his kinswoman?

Get.
He does.

Phor.
And who her father was, he does not know?

Get.
No.

Dem.
to the Lawyers.]
Here's the very fellow, I believe,
Of whom I have been speaking.—Follow me!

Phor.
aloud.]
And that he does not know, who Stilpho was?

Get.
No.

Phor.
Ah! because, poor thing, she's left in want,
Her father is unknown, and she despis'd.
What will not avarice do?


552

Get.
If you insinuate
My master's avaritious, woe be to you!

Dem.
behind.]
Oh impudence! he dares accuse me first.

Phor.
As to the youth, I cannot take offence,
If he had not much knowledge of him; since,
Now in the vale of years, in want, his work
His livelihood, he nearly altogether
Liv'd in the country: where he held a farm
Under my father. I have often heard
The poor old man complain, that this his kinsman
Neglected him.—But what a man! A man
Of most exceeding virtue.

Get.
Much at one:
Yourself and He you praise so much.

Phor.
Away!
Had I not thought him what I've spoken of him,
I wou'd not for his daughter's sake have drawn
So many troubles on our family,
Whom this old cuff now treats so scandalously.

Get.
What, still abuse my absent master, Rascal!

Phor.
It is no more than he deserves.

Get.
How, villain!

Dem.
Geta!

[calling.

553

Get.
Rogue, Robber, Pettyfogger!

[to Phormio, pretending not to hear Demipho.]
Dem.
Geta!

Phor.
Answer.

[apart to Geta.
Get.
turning.]
Who's that?—Oh!

Dem.
Peace!

Get.
Behind your back
All day without cessation has this knave
Thrown scurvy terms upon you, such as none
But men, like him, can merit.

Dem.
Well! have done:
[putting Geta by, then addressing Phormio.
Young man! permit me first to ask one question,
And, if you please, vouchsafe to answer me.
—Who was this friend of your's? Explain! and how
Might he pretend that I was his relation?

Phor.
So! you fish for't, as if you didn't know.

[sneeringly.
Dem.
Know! I!

Phor.
Ay; you.

Dem.
Not I: You, that maintain
I ought, instruct me how to recollect.

Phor.
What! not acquainted with your cousin?

Dem.
Plague!
Tell me his name.


554

Phor.
His name? ay!

Dem.
Well, why don't you?

Phor.
Confusion! I've forgot the name.

[apart.
Dem.
What say you?

Phor.
Geta, if you remember, prompt me.
[apart to Geta.]
—Pshaw!

I will not tell.—As if you didn't know,
You're come to try me.

loud to Demipho.
Dem.
How! I try you?

Get.
Stilpho.

[whispering Phormio.
Phor.
What is't to me?—Stilpho.

Dem.
Whom say you?

Phor.
Stilpho:
Did you know Stilpho, Sir?

Dem.
I neither know him;
Nor ever had I kinsman of that name.

Phor.
How! are you not asham'd?—But if, poor man,
Stilpho had left behind him an estate
Of some ten Talents—

Dem.
Out upon You!

Phor.
Then

555

You would have been the first to trace your line
Quite from your Grandsire and Great Grandsire.

Dem.
True.
Had I then come, I'd have explain'd at large
How she was my relation: So do You!
Say, how is she my kinswoman?

Get.
Well said!
Master, you're right.—Take heed!

[apart to Phormio.
Phor.
I have explain'd
All that most clearly, where I ought, in court.
If it were false, why did not then your son
Refute it?

Dem.
Do you tell me of my son?
Whose folly can't be spoke of, as it ought.

Phor.
But You, who are so wise, go, seek the judge:
Ask sentence in the self-same cause again:
Because You're Lord alone; and have alone
Pow'r to obtain the judgement of the court
Twice in one cause.

Dem.
Although I have been wrong'd,
Yet, rather than engage in litigation,
And rather than hear You; as if she were

556

Indeed related to us, as the law
Ordains, I'll pay her dowry: Take her hence,
And with her take five Minæ.

Phor.
Ha! ha! ha!
A pleasant gentleman!

Dem.
Why, what's the matter?
Have I demanded any thing unjust?
Sha'n't I obtain this neither, which is law?

Phor.
Is't even so, Sir?—Like a common harlot
When you've abus'd her, does the law ordain
That you shou'd pay her hire, and whistle her off?
Or, lest a citizen thro' poverty
Bring shame upon her honour, does it order
That she be given to her next of kin
To pass her life with him? which you forbid.

Dem.
Ay; to her next of kin: But why to Us;
Or wherefore?

Phor.
Oh! that matter is all settled:
Think on't no more.

Dem.
Not think on't! I shall think
Of nothing else, till there's an end of this.

Phor.
Words, words!

Dem.
I'll make them good.

Phor.
But, after all,
With You I have no business, Demipho!

557

Your Son is cast, not You: for at your age
The coupling-time is over.

Dem.
Be assur'd
That all I've said, He says: Or I'll forbid
Him and this wife of his my house.

Get.
He's angry.

[apart.
Phor.
No; you'll think better on't.

Dem.
Are you resolv'd,
Wretch that you are, to thwart me ev'ry way?

Phor.
(apart)
He fears, tho' he dissembles.

Get.
(apart)
Well begun!

Phor.
Well; but what can't be cur'd must be endur'd:
'Twere well, and like yourself, that we were friends.

Dem.
I! friend to you? or chuse to see, or hear you!

Phor.
Do but agree with her, you'll have a girl
To comfort your old age. Your years, consider!

Dem.
Plague on your comfort! take her to yourself!

Phor.
Ah! don't be angry!

Dem.
One word more, I've done.
See that you fetch away this wench, and soon,
Or I shall turn her headlong out o'doors.
So much for Phormio!

Phor.
Offer but to touch her,
In any other manner than beseems

558

A gentlewoman and a citizen,
And I shall bring a swinging writ against you.
So much for Demipho!—If I am wanted,
I am at home, d'ye hear?

[apart to Geta.
Get.
I understand.

[apart.]
[Exit Phormio.
 

In the Trinummus of Plautus, where a sharper is employed, like Phormio, to carry on an imposture, He in like manner forgets the name of the person from whom he pretends to come; and what renders the circumstance still more pleasant is, that he happens to be engaged in conversation with the very person himself. The Trinummus, taken all together, is, I think, inferior to this play of our author; but there are in it some scenes of uncommon pleasantry.

Quandoquidem solus regnas. An invidious sneer; because in Athens, where the people were tenacious of liberty and the laws, arbitrary acts were particularly odious. Thus Sannio in the Brothers; Regnumne, Æschine, hic tu possides? “Do you reign King here, Æschinus?” Donatus.

SCENE III.

Dem.
With how much care, and what sollicitude,
My son affects me, with this wretched match
Having embroil'd himself and me! nor comes
Into my sight, that I might know at least
Or what he says, or thinks of this affair.
Go, you; and see if he's come home, or no.

Get.
I'm gone.

[Exit.
Dem.
You see, Sirs, how this matter stands.
What shall I do? Say, Hegio!

Heg.
Meaning me?
Cratinus, please you, shou'd speak first.

Dem.
Say then,
Cratinus!

Cra.
Me d'ye question?

Dem.
You.

Cra.
Then I,

559

Whatever steps are best I'd have you take.
Thus it appears to Me. Whate'er your son
Has in your absence done, is null and void
In law and equity.—And so you'll find.
That's my opinion.

Dem.
Say now, Hegio?

Heg.
He has, I think, pronounc'd most learnedly.
But so 'tis: many men, and many minds!
Each has his fancy: Now, in my opinion,
Whate'er is done by law, can't be undone.
'Tis shameful to attempt it.

Dem.
Say you, Crito!

Cri.
The case, I think, asks more deliberation.
'Tis a nice point.

Heg.
Wou'd you aught else with us?

Dem.
You've utter'd Oracles. [Exeunt Lawyers.]
I'm more uncertain

Now than I was before.


560

Re-enter GETA.
Get.
He's not return'd.

Dem.
My Brother, as I hope, will soon arrive:
Whate'er advice he gives me, that I'll follow.
I'll to the Port, and ask when they expect him.

[Exit.
Get.
And I'll go find out Antipho, and tell him
All that has past.—But here he comes in time.

 

I believe there is no scene of Comedy more highly seasoned with the Ridiculous than this before us. The idea is truly comick, and it is worked up with all that simplicity and chastity, so peculiar to the manner of Terence. An ordinary writer would have indulged himself in twenty little conceits on this occasion; but the dry gravity of Terence infinitely surpasses, as true humour, all the drolleries, which perhaps even those great Masters of Comedy, Plautus or Moliere, might have been tempted to throw out. It is the highest art of a Dramatick Author on some occasions to leave a good deal to the Actor: it has been remarked by Heinsius and others, that Terence was particularly attentive to this circumstance; and Donatus in his preface to this Comedy says, that it is tota diverbiis facetissimis, & gestum desiderantibus scenicum.

Sed eccum ipsum video in tempore huc se recipere. Here in all the common books ends the second act; and the scenes that make up the residue of it here, in them compose the third. Madam Dacier saw the absurdity, but follows the old division, arbitrarily omitting the above line, in order to break the palpable continuity of the scenes; and make the stage appear to be vacant. But the line in question is in all the copies: nor is it likely that in so busy a play, the Author would have devoted a whole act to the Episode of Phædria and his Musick-Girl. The division of the acts in this play is so extremely confused in all the books I have seen, that I have varied from them all. I have endeavoured to find out the natural rests or pauses in the action, and to divide the acts in such a manner, as to assign a particular business to each. See the first note to Act V.

SCENE IV.

Enter at a distance ANTIPHO.
Ant.
to himself.]
Indeed, indeed, my Antipho,
You're much to blame, to be so poor in spirit.
What! steal away so guilty-like? and trust
Your life and safety to the care of others?

561

Would They be touch'd more nearly than Yourself?
Come what come might of ev'ry thing beside,
Could you abandon the dear maid at home?
Could you so far deceive her easy faith,
And leave her to misfortune and distress?
Her, who plac'd all her hopes in you alone?

Get.
coming forwards.]
I'faith, Sir, we have thought you much to blame
For your long absence.—

Ant.
You're the very man
That I was looking for.

Get.
—But ne'ertheless
We've mist no opportunity.

Ant.
Oh, speak!
How go my fortunes, Geta? has my father
Any suspicion that I was in league
With Phormio?

Get.
Not a jot.

Ant.
And may I hope?

Get.
I don't know.

Ant.
Ah!

Get.
Unless that Phædria
Did all he could do for you.—

Ant.
Nothing new.


562

Get.
—And Phormio, as on all occasions else,
Prov'd himself a brave fellow.

Ant.
What did He?

Get.
Out-swagger'd your hot father.

Ant.
Well said, Phormio!

Get.
—I did the best I could too.

Ant.
Honest Geta,
I am much bounden to you all.

Get.
Thus, Sir,
Stand things at present. As yet all is calm.
Your father means to wait your uncle's coming.

Ant.
For what?

Get.
For his advice, as he propos'd;
By which he will be rul'd in this affair.

Ant.
How do I dread my uncle's coming, Geta,
Since by his sentence I must live or die!

Get.
But here comes Phædria.

Ant.
Where?

Get.
From his old school.

[they retire.
 

Ab suâ palæstrâ.—Palæstra was properly the School of Gymnastick Exercises for the Græcian youth. Geta therefore, in allusion to that, pleasantly calls the Procurer's house the palæstra of Phædria, much in the same vein of humour that he used in talking of him at the opening of the play.


563

SCENE V.

Enter, from Dorio's, DORIO, PHÆDRIA following.
Phæ.
Nay, hear me, Dorio!

Dorio.
Not I.

Phæ.
But a word!

Dorio.
Let me alone.

Phæ.
Pray, hear me!

Dorio.
I am tir'd
With hearing the same thing a thousand times.

Phæ.
But what I'd say, you would be glad to hear.

Dorio.
Speak then! I hear.

Phæ.
Can't I prevail on you
To stay but these three days?—Nay, where d'ye go?

Dorio.
I should have wonder'd had you said aught new.

Ant.
behind.]
This Pimp, I fear, will work himself no good.

Get.
I fear so too.

Phæ.
Won't you believe me?


564

Dorio.
Guess.

Phæ.
Upon my honour.

Dorio.
Nonsense.

Phæ.
'Tis a kindness
Shall be repaid with interest.

Dorio.
Words, words!

Phæ.
You'll be glad on't; you will, believe me.

Dorio.
Pshaw!

Phæ.
Try; 'tis not long.

Dorio.
You're in the same tune still.

Phæ.
My kinsman, parent, friend,—

Dorio.
Ay, talk away.

Phæ.
Can you be so inflexible, so cruel,
That neither pity, nor entreaties touch you?

Dorio.
And can You be so inconsiderate,
And so unconscionable, Phædria,
To think that you can talk me to your purpose,
And wheedle me to give the girl for nothing?

Ant.
behind.]
Poor Phædria!

Phæ.
to himself.]
Alas, he speaks the truth.

Get.
to Ant.]
How well they each support their characters!

Phæ.
to himself.]
Then that this evil should have come upon me,
When Antipho was in the like distress!


565

Ant.
going up.]
Ha! what now, Phædria?

Phæ.
Happy, happy Antipho!—

Ant.
I?

Phæ.
Who have her you love in your possession,
Nor e'er had plagues like these, to struggle with!

Ant.
In my possession? yes, I have, indeed,
As the old saying goes, a Wolf by th'Ears:
For I can neither part with her, nor keep her.

Dorio.
'Tis just my case with him.

Ant.
to Dorio.]
Thou thorough Bawd!
—to Phædria.]
What has he done?


Phæ.
Done?—The inhuman wretch
Has sold my Pamphila.

Get.
What! Sold her?

Ant.
Sold her?

Phæ.
Yes; sold her.

Dorio,
laughing.]
Sold her.—What a monstrous crime!
A wench he paid his ready money for.

Phæ.
I can't prevail upon him, to wait for me,
And to stave off his bargain but three days;
Till I obtain the money from my friends,

566

According to their promise.—If I do not
Pay it you then, don't wait a moment longer.

Dorio.
You stun me.

Ant.
'Tis a very little time,
For which he asks your patience, Dorio.
Let him prevail on you; your complaisance
Shall be requited doubly.

Dorio.
Words; mere words!

Ant.
Can you then bear to see your Pamphila
Torn from this city, Phædria?—Can you, Dorio,
Divide their loves?

Dorio.
Nor I, not you.

Get.
Plague on you!

Dorio,
to Phæ.]
I have, against my natural disposition,
Born with you several months, still promising,
Whimpering, and ne'er performing any thing:
Now, on the contrary, I've found a spark,
Who'll prove a ready-paymaster, no sniveler:
Give place then to your betters!

Anti.
Surely, Phædria,
There was, if I remember, a day settled
That you should pay the money down.

Phæ.
There was.

Dorio.
Do I deny it?


567

Ant.
Is the day past?

Dorio.
No.
But this has come before it.

Ant.
Infamous!
Ar'n't you asham'd of such base treachery?

Dorio.
Not I, while I can get by't.

Get.
Scavenger!

Phæ.
Is this just dealing, Dorio?

Dorio.
'Tis my way:
So, if you like me, use me.

Ant.
Can you deceive him thus?

Dorio.
Nay, Antipho,
'Tis he deceives me: he was well aware
What kind of man I was, but I believ'd
Him diff'rent. He has disappointed me,
But I am still the same to him as ever.
However, thus much I can do for him;
The Captain promis'd to pay down the money
To-morrow morning. But now, Phædria,
If you come first, I'll follow my old rule,
“The first to pay, shall be first serv'd.” Farewell.

[Exit.
 

Metuo lenonem, nequid suo suat capiti. This passage has much puzzled the Commentators. I have followed Madam Dacier, though I do not think that her interpretation of the passage, or any other comment that I have seen, makes very good sense of it.

Auribus teneo lupum. A proverb; the meaning of which is explained in the next line.


568

SCENE VI.

PHÆDRIA, ANTIPHO, GETA.
Phæ.
What shall I do? Unhappy that I am,
How shall I, who am almost worse than nothing,
Raise such a sum so suddenly?—Alas!
Had I prevail'd on him to wait three days,
I had a promise of it.

Ant.
Shall we, Geta,
Suffer my Phædria to be miserable?
My best friend Phædria, who but now, you said,
Assisted me so heartily?—No.—Rather
Let us, since there is need, return his kindness!

Get.
It is but just, I must confess.

Ant.
Come then;
'Tis you alone can save him.

Get.
By what means?

Ant.
Procure the money.

Get.
Willingly: but whence?

Ant.
My father is arriv'd.

Get.
He is: what then?

Ant.
A word to the wife, Geta!


569

Get.
Say you so?

Ant.
Ev'n so.

Get.
By Hercules, 'tis rare advice.
Are you there with me? will it not be triumph,
So I but scape a scouring for your match,
That you must urge me to run risk for him?

Ant.
He speaks the truth, I must confess.

Phæ.
How's that?
Am I a stranger to you, Geta?

Get.
No:
Nor do I hold you such. But is it nothing,
That the old man now rages at us all,
Unless we irritate him so much further,
As to preclude all hopes to pacify him?

Phæ.
Shall then another bear her hence? Ah me!
Now then, while I remain, speak to me, Antipho.
Behold me!

Ant.
Wherefore? what is it you mean?

Phæ.
Wherever she's convey'd, I'll follow her;
Or perish.

Get.
Heaven prosper your designs!—
Gently, Sir, gently!

Ant.
See, if you can help him.

Get.
Help him! but how?


570

Ant.
Nay, think, invent, devise;
Lest he do something we repent of, Geta!

Get.
I'm thinking. [pausing.]
—Well then, I believe, he's safe.

But I'm afraid of mischief.

Ant.
Never fear:
We'll bear all good and evil fortune with you.

Get.
Tell me the sum you have occasion for.

Phæ.
But thirty Minæ.

Get.
Thirty! monstrous, Phædria!
She's very dear.

Phæ.
Dog-cheap.

Get.
Well, say no more.
I'll get them for you.

Phæ.
O brave fellow!

Get.
Hence!

Phæ.
But I shall want it now.

Get.
You'll have it now.
But Phormio must assist me in this business.

Ant.
He's ready: lay what load you will upon him,
He'll bear it all; for he's a friend indeed.

Get.
Let's to him quickly then!

Ant.
D'ye want my help?


571

Get.
We've no occasion for you. Get you home
To the poor girl, who's almost dead with fear;
And see you comfort her.—Away! d'ye loiter?

Ant.
There's nothing I would do so willingly.

[Exit.
Phæ.
But how will you effect this?

Get.
I'll explain
That matter as we go along.—Away!

[Exeunt.
 

After this in some books is inserted a speech of Phædria; Abi, dic, præsto ut sit domi. “Go, tell him to be at home.” But it confounds the sense in this place, and it is plain that Phædria and Geta go out together.