 | King Edward the Third, with the fall of Mortimer Earl of March |  |
Enter Serj. Eitherside and his Neice Maria, he pulling her in.
Serj.
Come, come in, come in you baggage, you run-away Theif,
'Tis well I met you, I would not have had you gone home for 5000 l.
gads my life I had been Unjudg'd before my Taylor had finish'd my
me, and your Aunt would have turn'd you out of doors.
Mari.
Why would you leave me then alone with him?
Ser.
Chamber-practice like that of Confession admits of no ears, but
the Partyes concern'd—therefore be rul'd, I have not seen my wife
since, but had you gone home as I said, and she had known the occasion,
and my preferment had fall'n upon't, she had turn'd you out to have got
a Livelyhood by the same means you shun'd, which would not have
turn'd to so good account.
Mar.
But Sir, he would have forc'd me—
Ser.
To have pleas'd your self, come, come, no more words, away
with your buts, your ifs, and your yets, and joyn Issue immediately, or
you'r non-suited; must I be forc'd to use my Authority? do not provoke
me, lest you sink under the weight of a Judges Displeasure, we
are dreadfull fellows in Power, therefore have a care.
Mar.
This new honour has certainly craz'd my Uncle: In my conscience
rather then be degraded he would stand himself by this Devill of
a Chancellor till he perform'd the deed of Darkness;
Pray Sir let me go home:
Ser.
If you will go to the place from whence you came, you shall thence
to the Place of Execution, where you shall be hang'd till you're half-dead,
and then be cut into four Quarters, and your bowells burnt for
high swinging High-treason in rebelling against the Soveraign Authority
of my unspotted Ermin.
Mar.
This Crime will make it foul:
Black as hells Practice or the trade of perjury:
What to do I know not; if I refuse I loose his favour, and that's my
bread; if I comply, then farewell Reputation, let me be never so innocent
the living with this Goat is sufficient Scandall to any honest
Person.
Serj.
What again at a stand? why you perplex the Cause worse then
an Evidence that's deaf and dumb, and is only to be under stood by
signs—Go to, and know your duty, for I expect an obedience as if I
were your father, you'r my adopted Child, and are bound to submit to
my Commands; if the Ancient Measures of Divine and humane Laws
are of any Force, and if they are not, I'le make new ones on this Occasion.
Mar.
Command, my Life and I will freely give it: But this is such
a task I cannot think upon't, but horror seizes me.
Serj.
Whence comes these fits in the Devills name, they're not of the
Mother i'm sure, she would have swallow'd such an offer and have made
Mar.
Dispose of me any ways but this, tho' it be to my Death I'le
thank you for it, but to give my self up to the Lewd Embraces of a person
I mortally hate is far more terrible, and I had rather starve then
gain a fortune on such base conditions.
Serj.
Conditions—why thou perverse chit of a wanton Generation,
how camest thou thus bastardiz'd? huswife, huswife, if you won't Lye
with him you will with somebody you like better, and I'le make you accept
of my choice, or turn you out of doors with your Load of vertue
instead of a Portion, and see how the starving your Spirit will agree
with the Pride of your flesh.
Mar.
What shall I do? what Courses shall I steer?
Serj.
Those which tend to the making you rich and happy.
Mar.
I shall be ruin'd:
Serj.
You shall be made,
Mar.
A Whore:
Serj.
Why you peremptory Carrion who thrives that are otherwise? is
there any pleasure like that of a long Mace and a Purse, when you have
the Broad-Seal for your Vindication? he's a wise man and will be carefull
of your honour, in regard of his own, and to my knowledge 'tis
safer Trusting your virtue in his hands, then money in a Bankers—true,
he is a little waggish or so; alas child that's nothing, Learned men are
of opinion, that warming the bloud by being now and then Facetious is
very conducing to health, possibly he follows the Maxim:
[aside
Gads, my Life, he's here now Neice, if you have any respect for your
self and me, play the part of an understanding Woman, and make use
of the time: I'le step aside and watch your behaviour, have a care.
[Exit.
Enter Chancellor reading.
Mar.
He's gone and left me:
What shall I choose to save my honour?
There is no scaping, hea'ven Inspire me best:
Chan.
I am strangely discompos'd, I shall hardly be settled these two
hours, what a damnable fright has this termagant Lord put me in; he's
as saucy with me now he has got me in his net as a servant-maid to her
Master when she has lain with him: A Disappointment on both sides
with a vengeance, had I but enjoy'd the little rogue, I should not have
matter'd, but not only miss the opportunity but also loose the Person;
I must send for the Pimp her Uncle, a Pox of these papers:
[flings 'em down
would they were burning in the Guts of him that drew 'em—I was
effects of Love; we make too much of the Guest, because we know it's
short. Ha! What do I see?
[Discovers Maria.
Mar.
I am discover'd, now fortune stand my friend—Dissimulation
help me, and all the Cunning of my Sex attend me.
Chan.
What my little wandring Jew, are you here? you had like to
have made fine work, 'tis well you came back as you did, you had lost
a lover else; my heart was just breaking, I was sending in hast for a
Master in Chancery to make my Will—I design'd to have given all I
had in the World to a certain Person that shall be nameless, but one so
very like thee, that a man might safely swear you were twins.
Mar.
I should be sorry if I should any way discompose your Lordship
in my leaving you so Abruptly, for which I beg your Pardon:
Chan.
Sayst thou so? 'gad child, and I am very good natur'd and
heartily forgive thee, but you shall give bond to perform Covenant for
the future, you shall:
[kisses her
What a notable twang she has—I protest my dainty peice of Marmalete,
I have a strange Inclination for thee, and I cannot but think thou hast
of the quality of the Loadstone about thee; turn thee which way thou
wilt I have such a grudging after thee Sympathy, I'faith, meer Sympathy;
thou art my Compass, and whilst thou art in being, the needle
will be always pointing to the North, and I shall never be well but in
thy Arms.
Mar.
It can be only your opinion Sir, I know no quality I am endow'd
with unless your favour.
Chan.
You cogg, you cogg, what? not know where your Magick
Circle lyes, no Quality; why thou hast beauty enough to merrit an Empire:
I am thy vassall, I who command this Nation am Commanded by
thee: Come hither and answer me a question, wilt thou my Damsell? ha!
Mar.
To any thing as may become your Servant.
Chan.
Good, very good, dost thou love me child? answer me quickly,
I am under an Agony of suspition, and must be resolv'd, or I'm a
dead man.
Mar.
My ready Services shall always demonstrate the high respect I
have for you.
Chan.
Respect, Twist a Whip, tell not me of respect, I hate the expression,
'tis like giving the Cheek instead of the Lip upon a Salute—
torture me not with Delay, but give me a cordiall of thy kindness or I
sink, I perish, I'm no man:
Mar.
My Lord, indeed I honour you, indeed respect you, and I have
often heard it said, respects the younger brother sure to love:
I desire none of his company, if the elder be present come near
me, I must look on my Care, my Jewell, how those eyes sparkle, why
they out-lustre this; let me see, place it before those white little Panting,
pouting, swelling throbbing, heaving—ah Rogue!
[Puts a Jewell on her Bosome.
Mar.
My Lord, you throw your favours so very fast upon me, I sink
under the Consideration of my Gratitude.
Chan.
A good childe, a very good childe, why they're trifles to what I
design thee, thou shalt be cover'd all over with Gold and Jewells; such
things I have bespoke for thee, thou shalt out-shine an Indian Queen:
say, can'st thou love me? speak, my honey-suckle, and make me happy
and thy self illustrious, speak my blossome of a Colly-flower, my cherry-colour'd-bean
with a black eye.
Mar.
However furious my Gallants Inclinations are, I finde my beauty
awes him, I am Master of his heart, and may be of all he has (oh
Mountacute should thou do thus I fear my Chastity) however I'le seemingly
comply, but nothing more.
She looks languishingly on him and puts her fan to her face.
Chan.
What, another eye shot,
come out with it Lamb, never mince
the matter, my doom, my doom.
Mar.
Good Sir, spare the trouble, and let my blushes speak my
heart.
Chan.
What! must I then be forc'd to bribe my Judge e're she will
give her opinion: here, here's Gold for thee—nay, nay, take it—she
has nick't me 'faith, my way exactly, the method I use to follow to a tittle:
my Sentence—
Mar.
I am not as I was, yet cannot tell my ailing; since I have seen
you Sir, my heart doth throb and beat as if it 'twould have liberty.
Chan.
Caught by St. Winifred: she's in.
Mar.
And when you speak of Love your words peirce through me,
I finde a pleasing shivering seize on me, yet covet still to hear you, and
when you catch me in your arms, I am like one half waking from a sleep;
I know not how to term it, a pleasant fleeting transport comes upon me,
my eyes are doz'd and I grow giddy with the unusuall joy.
Chan.
In Love, the Experience of 30 could not have demonstrated
better: come childe, I will repay it with double interest, I have a thousand
fine Curiosities within my closet which thou shalt be Lady of Immediately.
Mar.
Oh Heav'ns! what have I done? I have fool'd my self into the
snare.
Blessed deliverance my Uncle,
Ser.
My most Illustrious prop of preferment:
Chan.
A Plague of this Rascally Serjeant, I perceive the fellow has forgot
all manners since I have made him a Judge, but I'le send him packing—oh!
brother Judge, you are Wellcome, never more wellcome,
rare news, rare news; The Queen and the Earl of March have by me
put an opportunity into your hands of being suddainly a great man.
Serj.
How does her Majesty think upon her lowest of her Subjects,
I shall never be able to repay the Goodness: can I serve her my Lord?
Chan.
Why no body else, she has tryed the Judges already, and they
are wresty like so many tyred horses, they will not budge a Jot.
Serj.
What is it my Lord, what is it?—how does your Lordship like
my Neice? is she courteous?
Chan.
Charmingly, charmingly—but to our business: there are a
Parcell of froward persons that stand upon their Priviledges because
they're Peers, and between you and me brother, are very unmannerly,
both to the Queen and the Earle: now they were order'd to be prosecuted,
and the Knaves in Scarlet refus'd, pretending they were above their
Cognizance.
Serj.
How! above their Cognizance, who are they? let me know 'em,
and their Crimes, and if I do not case 'em up, uncase me,—but what
will become of me if a Parliament should be Summon'd?
Chan.
O fear it not, the Queen will never call a Parliament, lest they
might question her as well as you, therefore be stanch.
Serj.
Twi a whip as your Lordship says, I'le go through-stich.
Chan.
There's that Prating fellow Mountacute, and
[Whispers.
Mar.
Ha! what said he? oh how my fears comes thick on me:
Chan.
But I'le tell you as I go here; my Charge, take these Keys, they'l
open the doors of my Cabinets; there, there, feast thy eyes, and take
what thou wilt, I'le but speak a word with thy Uncle, and come and
settle some Jewells and precious Stones upon thee.
Enter Gentleman.
Gent.
My Lord the Earl of March desires your speedy Presence at his
Apartment.
Chan.
The Devill boyl him, again, what shall I do?
Serj.
My Lord, I find you are uneasy at your being so open to business,
nor indeed can you be private here as Love requires—what thinks your
Lordship of my house? there you may be secure.
Chan.
A Pimp of a thousand; you say worthyly, nothing better, go,
get you in, and take what you finde on the Squab under the window, and
this business, I must talk with you as I go, nay, a Kiss, a kiss at
parting: I'm in Paradice: Come, come along brother, or I shall, oh!—come
along, come:
Ex. Chan. and Serj.
Mar.
They're gone, and left me wretched, the darling of my soul, my
virgin Love, my Dear-priz'd Mountacute they have in chase, eager as
blood-hounds when upon full scent: could I but Interpose 'twixt him
and fate, I should be bless'd in Dying, pitty'd by him: ha! what paper's
this,
[takes 'em off the Ground.]
my Curiosity was never sawcy
yet, Love makes it now: Good heaven, what have I found, the very
Scrole of Death. Directions in what manner to proceed 'gainst Mountacute
and others—be but Propitious Starrs, and I will make this Instrument
of Villany the Guide by which I'le steer this almost sinking bark
through all the Rocks which threaten his Destruction, 'twill bring me to
his sight—bless'd accident.
My Generous care of him he must approve.
[Ex.
| King Edward the Third, with the fall of Mortimer Earl of March | |