University of Virginia Library

ACT II.

SCENE I.

—Interior of Peter's Hut, built of trees and fragments of the ship. Recesses, in which Peter and Jack Adams are sleeping. The roof slants down the Stage, so that the Scene is double. Curtain rises to Music.
Wildman and Pug are discovered on the roof, the former seated “lackadaisically.” Pug creeping and peeping about.
Wil.
Those lovely creatures I observed them well,
Put up to night at this marine hotel,
Slily I crept behind along the shore,
Hoping to find my way to their boudoir.

[Music. Pug having uncovered the Roof, crawls along the beams and pulls off Adams's night cap. Adams moves slightly; Pug then motions Wildman to follow. Wildman tries to get through the hole but sticks fast, he kicks violently, and then falls on Jack Adams, who cries out “Murder.” Wildman rolls off and creeps under the Table.
Peter.
(starting up.)
What noise is that? What has disturbed your rest?

Jack.
I felt such an oppression of the chest.

Pet.
It was the pork you supp'd on or the grog.

Jack.
The pork, my Peter, 'twas the entire hog!
It seem'd to weigh on me with all its might.

Pet.
Your suppers Jack are never very light,
You had peas pudding too and that's like lead.

Jack.
Peas pudding pooh! I've got no peas [peace] in bed.

Pet.
I wish you'd go sleep.

Jack.
Well, well, you're right,
I hope to-morrow night you'll burn a light;
One of those rushlights which are always made
To burn like modest merit in the shade.

Pet.
Dont talk, but go to sleep—good night.

Jack.
Bon soir,
I hope you wont be nervous when I snore.

Music. They sleep. Wildman walks about stealthily, and at last capsizes water jug over Jack Adams, who roars out. Peter jumps out of bed. Melodramatic action, during which, Peter tries the doors R. and L. and finds them fast. Wildman in great trepidation, Jack Adams sitting up in bed.
[At the end Jack Adams falls back in his bed fast asleep—he snores.
Pet.
(Tries door, R.)
Dear Yourakee still sleeps, now I'll be bound
No noise can wake her, for her sleep is sound;
May nought disturb the darling girl 'till morn.
[Jack snores.
What's that? It seem'd a solo on the horn.
[Jack again snores.
The Ophiclide such depth and power would lack.
[Jack da capo.
Oh! 'ts the nasal Organ play'd by Jack!

[Soft Music. Peter lies down. Wildman creeps out cautiously, shews a crooked nail and picks the lock of the door, R.
SONG.—Wildman,—“Lucy Neal.”

Exit, R. D.
[A scream heard instantly.
Enter Hallicarnie, she carries a rushlight stand. Jack and Peter wake up, and come forward.
Hal.
Oh help! she's gone! your Yourakee! I've missed her,
Oh Peter Wilkins, pray assist her sister;

Pet.
I will—but to elope if she's been willing,
In the pursuit I'll not expend a shilling.

Hal.
Elope! Elope! I don't know what you mean,

Jack.
Of course—she never heard of Gretna Green.

Pet.
Concerted.

[Exit Hal. and Peter, R. Jack, L.

SCENE II.

—A Rocky Pas and Distant Landscape. A Del supposed to be beneath stage.
Music. Pug enters, dragging on large chest, marked “DE LA CRUZ;” he opens Box and pulls out dresses, &c., shaving box, razors, puts on clothes, &c., hears noise—gibbers—shuts down lid of box, leaving the looking glass on the top.
Enter Wildman, L.—arm in arm with Yourakee—they are struggling, Wildman carries a carpet bag and umbrella.
You.
(Mock heroically.)
Unhand me, monster! Is no one near,
The cries of injured innocence to hear?
Coward and slave! How dare you thus oppress
That tender plant. A female in distress.

Wil.
I am no coward, few you'll find much braver,
Though in appearance perhaps I'm a rum shaver;
[Touching his beard
The brave deserve the fair—behold me here
As brave and bold as “Brook Green's Volunteer.”

You.
If such a thing as you our sex should need,
The husband market would be low indeed;
Believe sir could I tolerate your sight,
I don't believe you mean the thing that's right.

Wil.
SONG—Air, “When the fair land of Poland.”

You.
You've had you say, sir, now let me have mine;
If you had shares in ev'ry railway line,
I would reject you!

Wil.
Yes, and well you might,
For I should be in a most awkward plight;

You.
I though that railway shares were all the go.

Wil.
Yes, so they were—but now they're gone you know.

Enter Hallicarnie with a bonnet box.
Hal.
Thinking you perhaps might wish to change your mind,
And to your suitor, you might grow resign'd.
I've brought your wardrobe.

You.
You mistake me quite.
Think you I'd be resigned to such a fright!
No minister that ever ruled a nation
Was so averse as I, to resignation.

Wil.
Look at the census—pause before you lose me,
You must have lost your senses to refuse me.
For ma'am I tell you to your consternation,
That I comprise th'entire male population.
(aside)
Thus to be chaff'd is more than I can stand,
(to Hll.)
Allow me, miss, to offer you my hand,

Hal.
No, to my sister, sir, your hand belongs.

You.
I wouldn't touch it with a pair of tongs.

Wil.
O come! though to be rash I'm rather loth
I'll be revenged, my girls, and marry both.

[Music. He pursues them about the stage, Yourakee holds the looking glass towards him—he seizes it and appears transfixed.
[Exeunt Yourakee and Hallicarnie.
Wil.
Are these my fearful features that I trace,
I look a frightful muff about the face.
I fear this hair has scared the gentle maid,
I look a very hare'um scare'um blade;
And yet I'm told this is the style one meets
Where'er you walk about in London streets.
[opens box.
There's still one chance the lovely maid to win,
I'll give a thorough lathering to my chin;
Yes, I'll take courage. Women love the brave,
Off goes my beard—“my kingdom for a shave.”

[Wildman takes out shaving box.
[Music. Yourakee, supported by Hallicarnie, bearing the band box, fly across in the distance. Gun heard. Wildman in terror jumps into chest. Pug runs up from below rubbing himself as though hurt rolls about, and then shakes himself, and a quantity of peas fall upon the stage, looks out and expresses alarm at the approach of some one.
[Shout below “Hillo!” Wildman opens chest a little. Pug wants to join him.
Wil.
To let you in I see no rhyme nor reason,
This box is private—taken for the season.

[Shuts box and pinches Pug's fingers, Jack Adams. Peter and Sailors enter. Adams carries a blunderbuss.
Jack.
Where is your master?

Pet.
And the lady—quick?

Jack.
Where is she? Echo answers “cut her stick.”

[Pug shakes his head.
Pet.
Oh, you don't know—Jack Adams, if you please
The blunderbuss—another pint of peas.

[Pug expresses alarm and points to chest. Jack Adams sits upon it and locks it. Yourakee and Hallicarnie, enter, L.
Pet.
(embracing both.)
Come to my arms my ducks of diamonds, do,
And let me kiss both of you black and blue.

Jack.
Thank you, one at a time's enough to smother,
I'll love this angel, Peter, you love t'other.

[Indians cross. Music.
You. and Hal.
Our father comes!

Pet.
The governor! I'm glad,
Pray introduce us to your worthy dad?
[A noise heard in chest.
What's that?

Jack.
'Tis Wildman, over let us throw him.

Hal.
Keep him, my father rathers wants to know him.

You.
Papa has often said if he should meet him
And found him pretty tender he might eat him.

[Wildman kicks furiously.
Pet.
Then raise the chest among you if you're able
We order him to lie upon the table.

CHORUS.—Air, “The Polka.”
[Scene closes them in.

SCENE III.

—A romantic Pass. Procession of Flying Indians, Dancing Girls, &c., preceding King Columbat, &c., at the end Pug enters and tumbles across.

SCENE IV.

—A long vista of mountains. Moonlight. All, the characters discovered.
Col.
My worthy friends I thank you most sincerely,
For having saved the girls I love so dearly,
During their absence I have had the vapours;
I've advertized them both in all the papers,
Entreated their return in accents solemn
Each morning in the Times, the second column.

Pet.
No thanks great chief.

Jack.
What Briton could do less
Than feel for lovely woman in distress.

Col.
That sentiment I do not understand
But each of you may have my daughter's hand.
I don't know which, till now I've never seen you,
That point, my sons-in law, settle between you.
[Music. Peter takes Yourakee and Jack Hallicanie.
Now for this, Wildman, bring him forth and kill him!
[Chest brought on. Music. They open chest.
(musing)
I dont know if to roast, boil, fry or grill him!

[Wildman comes out very smartly dressed.
Wil.
Great Colombat, though I object to boasting,
I think that I could stand a little roasting;
But when you see this change I think you'll own
I'm so well dress'd I may be let alone.

You.
Your outward man a perfect change discloses,
You'd make an excellent show-block for Moses.

Hal.
Now that he's civilized, pa, spare his life.

Col.
I will. You're saved. Now, prisoner, choose a wife.

[The female Indians arrange their dress so as to attract attention.
Wil.
I'm like a purchaser perplexed and torn
By fifty thousand bonnets of Leghorn,
In Cranbourn Alley, marked “all three and six,”
Not knowing upon which 'tis best to fix.
[Looks at each.
These lovely creatures all my judgment baffle,
Oblige me, sire, and put me up to raffle.

Col.
We will oblige you! be it settled so— (going).


Pet.
“Soft you—a word or two before you go.”

Wil.
(To audience)
Now, what he's going to say, of course, you know.

Jack.
Silence, you interloper! Speak up, Peter;
You'll do it more genteeler and more neater.

Pet.
May I entreat your favor for to-night?
Be lenient, friends, and say—“Drive on—all right!”

You.
If, Peter, you approve, remember all,
Whilst paying Peter, you are paying Paul!

FINALE.
[Flying Indians appear on all the mountains bearing coloured torches, dancing, flying, singing, &c.
Before we firmer tie the knot of love,
Or prompter rings to take us up above,
Be kind enough to say that we obtain
Your leave to fly to-morrow night again.