Ars catchpolaria, or the art of destroying mankind Intended as a Vade-mecum or Pocket Companion to Messengers and other executors of the Law [by James Wilson] |
 |
|
|
| I. |
| II. |
|
| I. |
| II. |
[Number II.]
|
| II. |
 | Ars catchpolaria, or the art of destroying mankind |  |
[Number II.]
In doleful strains the theme pursue,
Condole each plunder'd street,
From port to port, O muse review,
the havock now compleat.
Condole each plunder'd street,
From port to port, O muse review,
the havock now compleat.
But spare to scourge the drown'd in Grief,
And softly slide along;
Lament the Tinsel of my Chief,
Let Gavin grace my song.
And softly slide along;
Lament the Tinsel of my Chief,
Let Gavin grace my song.
The Patentee can ne'er compare
The leather works of thine,
Tho' now thy boot hangs not in Air,
Thy science needs no sign.
The leather works of thine,
22
Thy science needs no sign.
Our Cousin James, his gilded key
Must fall too by this doom,
The chief of Vulcan's pedegree
May he for ever bloom.
Must fall too by this doom,
The chief of Vulcan's pedegree
May he for ever bloom.
Cockburn's dragon and St. George
No more attracts our eye,
St. Andrew too has got the scourge:
O strange impiety!
No more attracts our eye,
St. Andrew too has got the scourge:
O strange impiety!
Thou Ceres Goddess of the sheaf,
Which grac'd Ralph Hardie's shop,
Thy fall beforc Autumnal leaf
Fled with Clark's Telescope.
Which grac'd Ralph Hardie's shop,
Thy fall beforc Autumnal leaf
Fled with Clark's Telescope.
Oe'rwhelm'd in Grief we mortals view
The Gods descend to fate,
Old Adam's fall our guild renew,
While Richmond tears his Pate.
The Gods descend to fate,
Old Adam's fall our guild renew,
While Richmond tears his Pate.
The Barbers Poles and Dyers too,
No longer shall appear;
M'Bain's Star is ecclipsed now,
In this destructive year.
No longer shall appear;
M'Bain's Star is ecclipsed now,
In this destructive year.
Now Bremner's Harp shall point no more
Appolo's Sons the way,
Nor Ossian's head the loyal Shore
Where honesty bore sway.
Appolo's Sons the way,
Nor Ossian's head the loyal Shore
Where honesty bore sway.
Ill Fortune snatch'd the Cross Keys too,
The Anchor left its hold,
Miln's candlesticks to patmos flew,
Where they were seen of old.
The Anchor left its hold,
23
Where they were seen of old.
The Whale no longer leads the way
To Bacchus sons of joy,
The golden horse has gone astray;
Great pity to destroy.
To Bacchus sons of joy,
The golden horse has gone astray;
Great pity to destroy.
The pine apple is swallow'd down
The sugar loaves are gone,
The Black's head sold best snuff in town;
Is likewise overthrown.
The sugar loaves are gone,
The Black's head sold best snuff in town;
Is likewise overthrown.
M'kell has wreck'd his fishing boat,
His salmon is no more,
His cages now as lumber rot,
On the destructive shore.
His salmon is no more,
His cages now as lumber rot,
On the destructive shore.
The Black bull stood for seventy years,
At last has turn'd his tail;
The lion red, yet still appears,
As old behind the jail.
At last has turn'd his tail;
The lion red, yet still appears,
As old behind the jail.
The lanthorns and the trumpets loud,
No favour could obtain:
No quarter giv'n to rich or proud,
To save them was in vain.
No favour could obtain:
No quarter giv'n to rich or proud,
To save them was in vain.
Such hurly burly and such din,
By this sad devastation,
Some said such havock was a sin
And scandal in our nation.
By this sad devastation,
Some said such havock was a sin
And scandal in our nation.
Dumbreck to London sent express,
For grace and for reprive,
His Majesty cannot do less;
May regal busts long thrive.
For grace and for reprive,
24
May regal busts long thrive.
May Heav'n preserve our Weather-cocks,
Onr steeples and our spires;
Our royal statues keep from strokes,
From Thunder and from fires.
Onr steeples and our spires;
Our royal statues keep from strokes,
From Thunder and from fires.
| Ars catchpolaria, or the art of destroying mankind | |