 | Pleasant Odes |  |
113
President Kruger.
[March 2nd, 1900.]
115
I.
Dear Mr. Kruger,—
You would not hearken to my counsel,
You turned a deaf ear to my epistles,
You continued in the path of frowardness,
You were fain to stagger humanity,
And, on the whole, you have got yourself into a pretty mess.
116
II.
Deem not that I chide, dear Paul,Deem not that I consider the war to be over,
Least of all deem that I desire to twit you with my country's victories;
For, when everything is said,
My country's victories
Are extremely recent,
And they have been purchased
Very, very dearly;
Wherefore I am not on the twit.
117
III.
Far from it, my dear President,Far from it, far from it!
(Oh, how I love a fine phrase!)
I am writing to you now, as heretofore,
In a pure spirit of friendliness:
Were it not so,
I should be inditing odes to “Bobs” and “Buller” and “Britannia Triumphans,”
Which are really popular subjects just now.
As it is, I lay my numbers
At the feet of one who is neither a subject nor popular,
Who is practically played out,
Whose stoep no longer counts among the seats of the mighty,
And from whom I am not fool enough to expect either fee or thanks.
118
IV.
It is now, my dear Kruger,Two o'clock in the morning:
The patriot homeward plods his weary way,
Flown with Ladysmith and free beer,
For eight solid hours hath he marched and countermarched,
And cheered and yelled, and indulged in harmony, and thrown up his hat, and waved the red, white and blue
Unremittingly,
And to the material interruption
Of my poetical labours.
119
V.
Nathless,I like that patriot.
If you could see him as I have seen him, dear President,
You would most assuredly say with the psalmist:
“It is time for me to bend my back and bow my head;
Most assuredly, I will try a little unconditional surrender.”
You would call home your varlets from the Courts of Europe,
You would cut off Leyds with £100 a year,
And cease to recline in the broad bosoms
Of Messrs. Courtney, Bryn Roberts, Clark, Stead and Company,
You would apply for the Chiltern Hundreds, so to speak,
And get away to German Damaraland, or Russian Pongoland, or Araby the blest, or wherever it is you propose to seek refuge,
Forthwith.
120
VI.
I tell you, that patriot means business;You have really roused him.
He has found out that certain things require to be done;
He is going to have them done.
In the words of the Zingari maiden of the fictionists,
“Be-ware!!!”
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