University of Virginia Library

ACT II.

Scene I.

—The Imperial City of China.—The palace gates—an immense quantity of Heads on spikes on the walls. Citizens, Mandarins, &c., grouped on the Stage. A man with two posters on boards, hung round his neck, worded thus: “Lost! The Princess's Wits. Any medical gentleman restoring the same will be handsomely rewarded.”
CHORUS OF CITIZENS.
(“Les Huguenots.”)
Did you ever!
See such a sad exhibition?
Doctors, clever!
Brought to so sad a condition?
No, I never!
This is what comes of ambition,
Rash endeavour!
To play for such high stakes.

[After Chorus they all disperse.
Enter Japan, R., and Dimpl Tshin, from Palace, L.
Jap.
The very girl I want. Good morning, dear!
A pleasant morning for the time of year.
What news?

Dim.
The Daily News, you may be sure.
Each day, to work the mad Princess's cure,
Lur'd by the Emperor's promise of her hand,
Fresh Doctors throng from ev'ry foreign land.
Who cures may wed her; but of those who fail,
[Pointing to heads on wall.
Those dismal heads can tell the dismal tale;
And ev'ry day up there fresh trophies puts
“Heads of the People,” done on steel, with cuts.

Jap.
Still, spite of all, Badoura's cure I'll try,
I've studied medicine upon the sly,
And, after months of labour, I've compounded
[Takes out a box.
This patent pill, of power quite unbounded.
Its qualities are soothing, safe, and mild,
And may be taken by the youngest child;
Sold, wholesale, retail, and for exportation,
By ev'ry medicine vendor in the nation.
One shilling and three half-pence, duty free;
And none are genuine, unless signed by me.

Dim.
But please be quick, sir, for they've rung for me
To carry Missus up a cup of tea.

Jap.
Egad! that tea suits me to one! look here,
Just pop these in your lady's cup, my dear.

[Gives her pills.
Dim.
I will.

Jap.
And secretly?

Dim.
Depend upon it.

Jap.
A fi'-pun note, mind, and a new chip bonnet.

Dim.
Yes, I must go; though folks won't think it prudent,
Seeing me talking to a medical student.

[Exeunt into Palace.
Maimoune rises through trap, with a letter in her hand.
Mai.
Our Fairy Telegraphic Company,
Too highly spoken of can scarcely be.
But for the prompt receipt of this dispatch,
I might have met with very near my match.
That horrid Djinn, it seems, has form'd a plan
To drag my poor dear Camaralzaman
To matrimony—the ill-natured limb!
What has the dear boy ever done to him?
So, here he comes; but I'm distress'd to see
Him keeping such disgraceful company.
Now then, a sight at how things go to take,
Doubly invisible myself I'll make;
The Djinn himself shall not have power to view me,
I'm too deep for him, though he may see through me.

Enter Camaralzaman, R., with Danasch as his servant, carrying a carpet-bag.
Dan.
In pantomimic language, here we are!
There's the abode of your beloved's Papa.

Cam.
Upon my word, a pretty exhibition
Of “Stuck-up People”—an improv'd edition.

[Looking at the heads.
Dan.
Yes, it's a sight for charitable souls
Who like to sympathize with Distress'd Polls.

Cam.
But, I say, this is very kind of you,
So unexpected, from a stranger, too.

Dan.
(modestly.)
Don't mention it.

Cam.
Oh! I'll not be prevented,
You Geni have been much misrepresented.
Folks upon you all sorts of scandal fling,
You're look'd upon, in fact, as not the thing.
I'm sure the int'rest that you've shown in me—
Bringing me here by magic—carriage free—
In fact, the kindness you've evinc'd throughout,
Proves you a decent sort, beyond all doubt.

Dan.
(aside.)
Green youth! he thinks I'm doing him a kindness,
When to a wife I'm leading him! what blindness!
Why, of your woful case I chanc'd to learn,
And, being of a philanthropic turn,
I thought I'd just assist you, for a lark;
But as to what I am, mind, keep it dark.
I'm your attendant now.

Cam.
Of course, I know;
Though, really, I'm ashamed to serve you so.

Mai.
(aside.)
That of politeness is a needless stretch;
No place can be too low for such a wretch.

Cam.
And shall I really see my soul's delight—
The thief who came and stole my heart by night,
And whom, in spite of all my hue and cry,
And offers of reward, immensely high,
I've not been fortunate enough to capture?
To think these arms should take her up, oh! rapture.
Knock at the door, old boy, I long to win her.

[Danasch knocks at the gate. Porter appears.
Dan.
Emperor in?

Por.
He is; but he's at dinner.

Dan.
Then bolt! and bid his highness do the same
Towards his meal; our presence here proclaim.
As for his mutton, bid him cut it short.
[Exit Porter.
You're not afraid?

Cam.
I! nothing of the sort.
Through scenes of danger long I've loved to stray:
I've walked through Smithfield on a market day;
I've sailed in penny steamers many a one;
I've stood behind a cockney sportsman's gun;
I've been a special. Fear, indeed! Pooh! pooh!
Besides, I've every confidence in you.

Enter Emperor, angrily, with a napkin under his chin, followed by Mandarins, Guards, Usher, &c.
Emp.
Who dares to stir us up at feeding-time?
Are these the miscreants guilty of the crime?

Dan.
Illustrious sire! for dinner do not fret!
Remember what the Scotch say, “Dinna forget.”
Business is business. Cease that angry shrug,
And please to calm your antique China mug.
[Takes out a newspaper.
That's your advertisement, I think?

Emp.
'Tis so.

Dan.
We've come to answer it.

Emp.
You have! Ho! ho!
And p'r'aps you really think to win the prize of it.

Dan.
To use a strong expression, that's the size of it.
Whate'er your daughter's state, my master'll save her.

Emp.
What! that particularly youthful shaver,
Whose first shave, there is every cause to dread,
Will prove to be the shaving of his head?

Cam.
I fear no axe nor ax-idental death,
No headsman's blow shall knock me out of breath,
Fetch the Princess, and, quick as presto pass,
I'll work her cure; or, write me down an ass.

Emp.
Writing folks down is not at all our line,
Although at showing people up we shine.
[Pointing to the heads.
Conduct the Princess hither.

Cam.
Now, you'll see,
The Prince-in-law of China soon I'll be.

[Looking off.
Mai.
(aside.)
Not if I know it. I have form'd some plans,
Which will do nicely to forbid the banns.

Cam.
She comes! that form! that face I cannot see,
Because it's veiled! but, ah! I know 'tis she.

Enter Badoura, veiled, Dimpl, and two Attendants.
Bad.
Throw physic to the dogs! I've had enough
Of doctors' nonsense, and of doctors' stuff.
No surgeons, 'pothecaries, or M.D.s,
Are fit to minister to a mind's disease.
Show me no more, unless you've found a man
Who cures upon the homœopathic plan—
Whose course of treatment, 'stead of draught or pill,
Should be to show me him who made me ill.

Cam.
That course is mine.

Bad.
Who speaks?

Cam.
Don't look just yet;
Let me recall a scene you can't forget.

DUET.
Tune—“Judy Callaghan.”
Cam.
'Twas on a moonlight night,
At three o'clock in the morning,
A fair princess, as bright
As rays of daylight dawning,
To Camaralzaman's room
Was brought by means mysterious,
Set his heart in a fume,
And made him with love delirious.
Only say,
Have some peace he shall again,
Say, yes, pray,
To the tune of Judy Callaghan.

Bad.
I thought I was dreaming then,
I'm dreaming now, I vow, again;
But, no, as a pike-staff plain,
I see his sweet face now again.
I've been uncommonly ill!
But now I shall soon recover.
Accept you, at once, I will,
To be my devoted lover.

Cam.
I must say,
Such luck not oft befals a man.

Bad.
Don't abuse it, pray,
Charming Camaralzaman.

[They embrace most affectionately.
Cam.
My life! my soul! my love! at last I've met her!

Emp.
I think Badoura seems a great deal better.

Bad.
(still embracing Camaralzaman.)
My life! my love! my soul! at last we meet.

Emp.
We do pronounce the cure to be complete.
Rejoice, ye curs! exert your lungs and breath;
We bid you all be glad, on pain of death.
[Mandarins shout.
Prepare festivities—look sharp, ye scamps!
Light up at least six thousand extra lamps,
Get every sort of delicacy dressed,
The pickled puppy, and the stew'd bird's-nest.
Let all our land one scene of gladness be—
The feast of lanterns, and the flow of tea.

[Guards exeunt; Mandarins bustle about, L.
Enter Japan.
Jap.
Who says Badoura's cured?

Emp.
Her royal father.
And his assertions are conclusive, rather;

Jap.
Then do I claim her hand.

Dan.
Excuse me, pray!
But will you just be good enough to say,
Whether you'd like to have it now, or let it
Stand over till such time as you can get it?

Emp.
(To Danasch.)
Young man, a footman ought to keep his place;
Don't be presuming. Now, we'll hear your case.

Jap.
Son of the sun, and offspring of the sky,
If any one have cured your child, 'tis I!

[All express astonishment.
Emp.
You!

Jap.
Yes. This morning, I, to try my skill,
Popp'd in her tea a potent patent pill!

Dan.
He thinks your majesty a precious flat;
A pill! you never mean to swallow that?

Emp.
Too forward, flunkey! less presumption use,
We'll swallow just exactly what we choose;
To show that our opinion won't be guided,
We do pronounce the matter undecided,
Whether our daughter to the strange young man
Owes her recovery, or to Japan.
Come here, our sons-in-law that wish to be,
Toss up for her at once—two out of three.
[Camaralzaman and Japan take coin from their pockets immediately, and toss them up, catching them, and covering them with their hands.—The Emperor stops them.
Or stay, don't toss; our justice never sleeps;
And, as we've set our face 'gainst Derby sweeps,
To suffer gambling in our court's not right,
Instead of tossing, then, suppose you fight;
[Camaralzaman and Japan draw their swords, and strike fighting attitudes.—The Emperor stops them again.
Or stay, don't fight; put up your sword, young person,
(To Camaralzaman.)
We've changed our mind.

Mai.
(aside.)
You couldn't for a worse 'un.

[They sheathe their swords.
Emp.
A good idea has in our brain to dwell come!

Mai.
(aside.)
Then, as a stranger, p'r'aps you'll give it welcome.

Emp.
Instead of vulgar toss or angry blow,
We'll have this matter settled by the bow.

Jap.
Beau! that means me—

Cam.
Not so, my rival spruce,
Who'd think of saying “bo” to such a goose?

Emp.
Silence! you two, for our fair child competing,
Shall shoot for her; we'll call an archery meeting.
If anybody feels inclined to say
Our plan is not first-rate in ev'ry way,
Sublime, ingenious, just, and wise supremely,
To catch him at it, we should like extremely;

Bad.
This is, indeed, one's dignity abridgin'
Have your child shot for like a Red-House pigeon.

[Crosses to R.
Mai.
Then I've a plan; my arts shall discompose
The rival arrows of these rival beaux.

[Exit, L.
Cam.
This is a swindle!

[Crosses to Badoura.
Emp.
Ha! I cannot suffer—

Dan.
(interrupting him.)
Now, don't be angry, there's a worthy buffer;
He is but young, wants self-control, you see,
He'd ne'er be out of trouble but for me,
To whose care, by his fond and doating mammy,
He was confided. Would you, Master Cammy?
[Winks at Camaralzaman.
You didn't mean the Emp'ror to annoy?
[Aside.
Don't be afraid, I'll make all right, my boy.

Cam.
(aside.)
I understand; my liege, I beg your pardon.

Emp.
Well, for this once, your fault we won't be hard on;
What, ho! to all the sporting papers send,
And let them know that we this match intend
To come off soon. The bow—the bow's the thing
By which this matter to a close I'll bring.

CONCERTED.
Tune—“A famous Man was Robin Hood.”
Emp.
Oh! a famous man was Robin Hood,
And, as an archer, made a noise;
And I think, if I were you, I should
Just try a leaf to borrow from his book, my boys.

Cam.
For aught that he can do, who cares?

Jap.
I've skill, and tidy strength of arm.

Dan.
(aside to Camaralzaman.)
We'll do his business unawares,
I'll take good care you're kept from harm.

Chorus.
A famous man was Robin Hood, &c.

[Exeunt.

Scene II.

—The Fairy Boudoir of Maimoune.
Enter Taffeta and Filma, C.
Fil.
Pray, is your mistress in?

Taf.
I hardly know,
I'll go and see; what name, ma'am?

Fil.
Filma!

Taf.
Oh!
To you, of course, she's in; but, truth to tell,
She's lately been so very far from well,
She can't see any visitors.

Fil.
Poor dear!
Just be so kind as tell her I am here.
[Exit Taffeta.
I've called on dear Maimoune to impart
Some news that must go nigh to break her heart!
When grief and suffering our bosoms rend,
There's nothing like a real, good-natured friend.
Enter Maimoune and Attendants, C.
Good morning, dear! why, you look downright gay;
You smile as you were wont to smile to-day.

Mai.
Oh! yes, I'm quite recovered, thank you, dear;
(Aside.)
The spiteful thing! I know what brings her here.

Fil.
I've called to tell you something.

Mai.
(aside.)
Oh! no doubt,
But on a subject I know all about.

Fil.
Prince Camaralzaman—

Mai.
Well!

Fil.
Oh! my dear—
It will be dreadful news to you, I fear;
He's going to be married.

Mai.
Yes!

Fil.
(aside.)
Plague take her!
I thought to faint with horror it would make her;
Don't you feel sorry?

Mai.
Couldn't, if I tried,
As I myself intend to be the bride.

Fil.
You?

Mai.
Yes!

Fil.
You're joking!

Mai.
Joking—'faith, not I;
The die is cast.

Fil.
Oh! never say that die,
You said that you'd forget him!

Mai.
P'r'aps I did,
But my heart wouldn't do as it was bid;
Come, be my bridesmaid.

Fil.
Nothing of the sort,
You ought to be ashamed, miss, so you ought,
To think of such an ill-assorted marriage.

Mai.
Be good enough to call this lady's carriage.

Fil.
Oh, certainly! with pleasure, ma'am—good day!

Peri.
(entering.)
The Lady Filma's carriage stops the way.

Fil.
(aside.)
A splendid bit of scandal this will be;
I'll ask some friends this very night to tea.

[Exit.
Mai.
Delightful task! to aid my tender suit,
And teach his young idea how to shoot;
With magic I my prince's dart will tip,
That to the judges it may give the slip—
He'll seek it; it will lead him to my arms,
And so my spells will beat Badoura's charms.
Now, girls, away! make every preparation
To welcome him as does become his station;
Let music's silver strains his ears delight,
Not common fiddlers hired for the night,
At half-a-crown an hour and their beer,
But regular fairy music let him hear;
And bid our fairy butler furnish, too,
A dozen of our fine old crusty dew;
Then, fly! and get our wedding-dresses made
By the most stylish Peris in the trade.
At once, now; see my wishes acquiesced in,
[Exeunt Peris,
Meanwhile I'll practise looking interesting.
My dress and figure I had better see to,
I'll practise to my shadow, like Cerito.
Shine out, fair moon, that I my form may view,
[Strong light at wing, L., to throw a shadow on the stage. All the other lights down.
Thank you! some day I'll do as much for you;
[Dances the Pas de l'Ombre.
My looks ain't bad—no skill could well advance 'em,
If he stands them, he must stand something handsome.
[Resumes dance.
Oh, dear! oh, dear! my wings are rather crumpled,
Yes, and my bustle seems a little rumpled

[Adjusts her dress by the shadow; resumes dance, and exit, L.

Scene III.

—An Archery Ground, laid out à la Cremorne, Rosherville, &c.; stuffed figures of soldiers, targets, &c., about; men, in Lincoln green, in attendance.—A raised seat for the Emperor.
Enter the Emperor, attended by Guards, Mandarins, &c.; Japan and Camaralzaman, with bows and arrows in their hands.—Danasch in attendance on Camaralzaman.— Badoura, and her Attendants, &c.
CHORUS.
(Hunting Chorus from “Der Freischutz.”)
Now forward, young men, for this Princess contending,
Her father commands you to draw the long bow;
And there's such a prize on your shooting depending,
That all your best skill we'd advise you to show.
For, oh! she's a treasure that's worthy of princes,
With charms more than Cocker can ever compute;
Each moment her form some new beauty evinces;
So just mind your eye, and take care how you shoot.
Now, my lucky sportsmen! step forward, and try your luck!
Forward! forward! &c.

Emp.
Daughter, you look the picture of distress;
A sorry sample of a Prize Princess.

Bad.
(weeps.)
I can't help crying—mingled doubts and fears
Transform my 'kerchief to a veil of tears.
It's wringing wet—a perfect sheet of water.

Emp.
Say a wet blanket on our mirth, my daughter.
[She sobs.
Come, come! unless you mean to drop that din,
Get out, or rather, I should say, get in.

Bad.
Well, p'r'aps I'd better, for the match would be
A truly 'arrowing spectacle to me;
(To Camaralzaman.)
Sweet prince! may Fortune take you in her care!

Dim.
(aside.)
Master's a brute—I always thought he were.

[Exeunt Badoura, Dimpl, and Attendants.
Dan.
Now then, old chap! it's time we made a start;
Suppose we do so.

Emp.
Oh! with all my heart!
You understand, who shoots the farthest, wins—
And only one shot each—Japan begins.

Cam.
(aside to Danasch.)
All's right, you say?

Dan.
(aside, in reply.)
Correct as any trivet!
Strength to your arrow I'll take care and give it.

[Japan shoots.
Jap.
Badoura's mine!

Cam.
Don't halloo out just yet,
Out of the wood you first had better get.

[Shoots; all start with astonishment.
Dan.
There!

Emp.
Where?

Cam.
Ay! where? who saw my arrow fall?

Att.
Please, sir, I think it didn't fall at all.

SONG.
Tune—“Blue Bells of Scotland.”
Cam.
Oh! where, and oh! where, is my flighty arrow gone?

Dan.
Oh! it's gone a great deal farther than I meant it to have flown!
And, it's oh! in my heart that I can't tell where it's gone.

Chorus.
Then it's oh! in his heart, &c.

Jap.
(to Emperor.)
Suppose, and suppose, that his arrow can't be found?

Emp.
He must lose the match, of course, for being such a stupid hound!

Jap.
Then, it's oh! in my heart, that I hope it can't be found.

Chorus.
Then, it's oh! in his heart, &c.

Cam.
I've shot it out of sight, that's it, no doubt—
But, wait a minute, I'll soon find it out.

[Runs after his arrow.
Dan.
(aside.)
It strikes me, Miss Maimoune's been at work,
My nicely-plann'd contrivances to burk;
If so, I think I'd better cut and run,
But, ere I do, egad! I'll have some fun.

Emp.
What! can't he find it? Where can he have tossed it?
Zounds! if the stupid fellow's been and lost it,
Why, he deserves to lose the lady too.

Jap.
Hear! hear! I quite agree with you!

Dan.
You do?
Well! I'm not one who at conclusions jumps;
But, really, you're a precious set of pumps.

Emp. and Jap.
Pumps!

Mands. &c.
Pumps!

Dan.
Yes, pumps! his highness in particular.

Emp.
(infuriate.)
Our royal pigtail stands out perpendicular
With rage! our pow'r of breathing almost ceases;
Slaves! chop him up in several little pieces.

[Guards rush at Danasch with weapons; he stands with his arms folded, looking contemptuously at them. Japan interrupts them.
Jap.
A moment stay! my liege, a boon I crave—
Let me dispose of this presumptuous slave.

Emp.
Well, if to you 'twill any pleasure bring,
Here, slaves, fall back, and give the prince a ring!

[Music.—Japan draws his sword, and rushes at Danasch, who draws his, and defends himself. Broadsword Combat. Danasch is stabbed, but he only throws up his arms and laughs.
Jap.
You harden'd monster! where's your feelings, pray?
I'll try and touch them now, where'er they lay.
[Fight renewed. Danasch stabbed, and laughs as before. Japan becomes infuriated, stabs Danasch several times, at each of which he laughs. At last he stabs Japan, and with an O. Smith-like laugh sinks through trap, from which a flame arises. Japan falls.
Perdition catch thine arm—

Emp.
(astonished.)
There's none to catch;
Your friend's gone off, just like a Congreve match,
Smelling like those—three boxes for a penny!

Jap.
(feebly.)
He was a match for me, and one too many;
I'm pepper'd; yes, I'm summon'd to that bourne
From which commercial trav'llers ne'er return.

[Dies.
Emp.
I think—although I don't for certain know—
I'm justified in saying, here's a go!
One son-in-law cut off—but where's the other?

Att.
Please, sir, he's cut off too.

Emp.
Now, that's a bother;
If of the candidates we lose the two,
What for a husband will Badoura do?
Here, find him out—every exertion make—
Tell him there must have been a slight mistake;
As for the dart which play'd him such a trick,
Tell him that needn't in his gizzard stick!

[Guards bear off Japan.
SOLO AND CHORUS.
(Eclipse Polka.)
[Emp.]
That you find him, have a care;
And you'd better, I declare,
In a jiffey,
If ye
Really
Dearly
Prize the heads you wear.

Chorus.
We to find him must take care;
And we'd better, I declare,
In a jiffey,
If we, &c.

[Exeunt Mandarins, &c., running to look for Camaralzaman, L.

Scene IV.

—A romantic woody Landscape.—A rock, with a door, with knocker and two bells, one marked “Visitors,” the other “Servants.” An arrow flies in, and sticks in the stage, near the door; Camaralzaman runs in fatigued and panting after it; as soon as it falls, he pounces upon it.
Cam.
SONG.

Taf.
Welcome, sweet prince!

Cam.
That's very kind of you.

Taf.
We've been expecting you.

Cam.
Come, that won't do.

Taf.
What! doubt a lady's word? Oh! fie! forshame!
Prince Camaralzaman, I think?

Cam.
(startled.)
My name!
You've seen my picture in some print-shop window.

Taf.
Not so, indeed; but don't stand here—come in, do.

Cam.
Your manner, certainly, of kindness savours,
And you've already shown me lots of favours,
[Pointing to rosettes.
Which, by-the-bye, induce me to suppose
Some of your party must be bless'd with beaux,
With whom you're going to be tied up;—in fact,
You've met to perpetrate some marriage act.

Peri.
We have—so please to join our wedding party;
You're a nice man for one.

Cam.
Well, now, that's hearty;
You want me for a groomsman, I dare say,
Or a papa, to give the bride away.
Well, I shall be most happy, I declare,
In your Heart Union dodge to take a share.

[Exeunt into cave.

Scene the Last.

—The Peris' Home.—Maimoune seated in bridal array, surrounded by Peris as bridesmaids.—A banquet prepared.—Music.
Mai.
The time draws near. I'm sadly flushed and shaken;
I hope too rash a step I have not taken,
And put my foot in it. Should he be cold,
And deem my husband-catching schemes too bold,
He may think (having of what's right a high sense)
I've sought to wed him with an undue licence.
Ha! here he comes; my trepidation's great—
I shall receive him in a funny state.

Enter Camaralzaman, conducted by Taffeta and the Peris.
Cam.
Nothing but magic can I set down this to.
This grotto quite surpasses Monte Christo.
This dazzling splendour sets me fairly blinking,
Shutting my eyes up like—in fact, like winking.
[Seeing Maimoune and Peris.
More marriage belles! and, faith, a pretty lot;
But for the gentlemen, I see them not;
And you'll admit, I think, my question's sensible,
Isn't a bridegroom rather indispensable?

Mai.
Excuse the boldness of my invitation;
But, prince, would you accept that situation?

Cam.
You're joking, lady.

Mai.
Sweet bird, do not laugh;
To catch you is my wish, but not with chaff.
The marriage preparations that you see
Are for the union of you and me.

Cam.
What? do you think, because you choose to make
A wedding feast, that I'm to be the cake?
Me marry you—marry, come up! not I.

Mai.
You wont? oh, crimini! in fact, oh, cry!
You must be mad, sir, to refuse the match.
Consider, I'm no ordinary catch;
My wealth and influence possess no bounds;
Just look at my establishment and grounds.

Cam.
Good grounds, no doubt; but still not good enough
For my accepting you on. Cease this stuff.
One maid alone can ever be my bride,
To whom I'm bound, though not exactly tied.

Mai.
Throw off that tie, 'twill give you no great shock,
And in its stead take my entire stock.

DUET.
Tune—“Green Bushes.”
Mai.
Oh, let us be married, young man, if you please,
In these fairy domains you may live at your ease,
From bailiffs and creditors perfectly free,
If you'll leave your own true love, and marry with me.

Cam.
Oh, I care not for riches; you needn't suppose
I've a spirit so poor as to marry for those;
And of you my opinion much higher would be,
If you'd show a few blushes at making so free.

Mai.
(aside.)
He's twice as obstinate as any pig;
If he is not, why, dash my Peri-wig!
I've half a mind, for the contempt you've shown,
To change you to a block of solid stone;
But, no, you're that already.

Cam.
Nay, be pacified;
And, though as man and wife we can't be classified,
Let us be friends. Refuse I'm sure you'll not.
Come, and I'll tell you what to do.

Mai.
Well! what?

Cam.
Why, all your guests here—it's a shame to cheat 'em,
And all the dainties—some one ought to eat 'em;
There ought to be a wedding, that's quite clear.

Mai.
Well?

Cam.
Fetch the young princess of China here,
And, 'pon my word, I'll marry her.

Mai.
No doubt!
(Aside.)
But really it's a chance for coming out,
And showing off a little magnanimity;
'Twill be a struggle of intense sublimity.
I'll give him up, though it may cost me pain:—
There, now! Maimoune is herself again.
All human weaknesses away I pitch;
I'll be a Peri, and behave as sich.

[Music. The scene at the back opens, and the Emperor and Badoura enter in a fairy triumphal car.
Cam.
I didn't want the venerable gent.

Mai.
I brought him here to give you his consent.
(To Emperor.)
Now, ask no questions; don't stand gaping there,
But give your blessing to the youthful pair.

[Maimoune joins their hands; Emperor puts his hands on their heads, after the most approved benediction fashion.
Emp.
Anything else in my way, just at present?

Mai.
Nothing!

Bad.
Well, this is odd, but very pleasant.

[A loud rat-tat knocking is heard, and a bell rings.
Mai.
Which of our bidden guests such uproars bring?
Hope they don't call that a wedding ring.
Enter Danasch, R., sprucely dressed.
You're the rap-rascal, then, that made that row?

Dan.
If I've offended, I'll knock under now.
I've called to say, that I've been thinking over
My past career. I'm sick of being a rover.
I've cut my bad associates already,
And mean to try to be a little steady;
So p'r'aps, if I improve in my propriety,
You'll introduce me to some good society.

Mai.
(aside.)
Well, I don't know—he looks extremely well—
He may be worth one's notice, who can tell?
Partners are scarce; and, bound in Hymen's tether,
We might get on extremely well together.
(To Danasch.)
Come here—I will—yes, thus my love confessing;
[Gives her hand.
I've got no Pa—will you please give your blessing?

[To audience.
Cam.
Yes, let us your approving voices hear,
And for our wedding-feast provide the cheer.

FINALE.
Air—“Jolly Nose.”
Cam.
Jolly rows of bright faces, which garnish our Pit,
All looking good-natured and merry;
And those happy forms in the Boxes that sit,
Are cheering to look upon, very.

Emp.
Jolly rows, too, you'll see, if your eyes you will cast
In a rather more lofty direction;
And I fancy they don't to our efforts just past
Entertain the profoundest objection.

Air—“Old Dan Tucker.”
Bad.
Now, all I want this very night,
Is to hear a noise, to see a sight;
The noise, your hands applauding sounds,
The sight, your face without frowns—

Dan.
Get out of the way, I'll address them,
And with some eloquence of mine impress them!
Air—“Who's dat Knocking at de Door?”
Oh, I've just come to say, that we really ought to be—

Mai.
I think you'd better let the matter rest with me.
I've tried 'em once or twice, I think, ere now,
And pleased with what I say they always seem somehow.
Air—“Buffalo Gals.”
Then with your applause won't you come out to-night?
Oh, grant us that one boon!

Chorus.
Then with your applause, &c.