Camaralzaman And Badoura ; Or, The Peri Who Loved The Prince An Extravagant Arabian Night's Entertainment, In Two Acts |
 | 1. | ACT I. |
| 1. |
| 2. |
| 3. |
| 4. |
 | 2. |
 | Camaralzaman And Badoura ; Or, The Peri Who Loved The Prince |  |
5
ACT I.
Scene I.
—The Sky—the stage covered with clouds—and the starry firmament in the background.—Rising from the clouds in the foreground are seen a milestone, on which is written “To Jupiter—60,000 leagues,” and a finger-post, pointing in one direction “to Orion,” in the other “to the Milky Way;” a little further back a light kind of building, from which projects a sign-board, with the words, “The Halfway House; good accommodation for Sprite and Geni.” Peris, Spirits, &c., grouped among the clouds.CHORUS OF SPIRITS.
Tune—“Carnival de Venise”
Through starlit skies, when day has set,
We spirits, gay and free
(To use coarse language), loose are let,
To roam upon the spree,
When nightingales their notes begin
To warble on the spray,
And larks the sons of men are seen
Along the streets to play.
We spirits, gay and free
(To use coarse language), loose are let,
To roam upon the spree,
When nightingales their notes begin
To warble on the spray,
And larks the sons of men are seen
Along the streets to play.
And
We won't go home till morning,
We won't go home till morning;
We won't go home till morning,
Till daylight doth appear.
We won't go home till morning,
We won't go home till morning;
We won't go home till morning,
Till daylight doth appear.
[Chorus repeated, becoming gradually fainter, while the Spirits disappear.
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Mai.
Holloa there, house! now, stupid, look alive;
My doves are rather heated by their drive,
And want attending to—now, then, I say!
Ski.
(within.)
Coming.
Mai.
Oh! coming—so's the break of day.
[Gets out of car.
Enter Skilopht, hurriedly, R.
Oh! here you are! Is this, sir, your civility,
Detaining Peris of respectability
Out here, at your abominable door,
Bawling and shouting till their throats are sore?
There's not a house, 'twixt this and Georgium Sidus,
But with more prompt attendance would provide us.
Ski.
Madam, I'm really very sorry.
Mai.
Stuff!
I warrant you'd be sorry though, enough,
Should you find out you'd lost the patronage
Of every member of the Peri-age.
Take care; your house, despite its situation,
Has not a very first-rate reputation;
Afrites, hobgoblins, here a refuge find,
And Djinns of the most questionable kind.
Look to your licence!
[Skilopht is about to speak.
Mai.
Come, no words I need;
Put up my drag, and give the doves a feed.
[Skilopht bows, and is leading the car in.
Mind that off-leader's wing, it's got a scar
From a slight singe against a shooting star;
Then a sky parlour for us see prepared.
Ski.
I'll have our best star-chamber nicely aired.
[Exit, leading in car, R.
Fil.
The drive has done you good?
Mai.
A little, dear;
It would be odd if one felt low, up here;
But ah! I find that drive, howe'er I may,
I can't completely drive dull care away.
Fil.
What is it you in sorrow doth so steep?
Tell me, your friend.
Mai.
Can you a secret keep?
Fil.
Of course I can—you ought to be aware of it.
Mai.
Then here's one—I'm in love—now mind, take care of it.
Fil.
In love?
Mai.
Why, yes, my bosom's had a smarter
From Venus's sharp son, or rather darter.
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Who is the happy spirit?
Mai.
Why, my dear,
My choice is slightly infra dig., I fear.
Fil.
How? sure you haven't let a vulgar Djinn
Or low-bred Afrite your affections win?
Mai.
It isn't that (aside)
; I wish I had a fan
To hide my blushes; it's, in fact, a man!
Fil.
(horror-struck.)
A man! good gracious! do I hear aright?
Mai.
You do.
Fil.
(curtseying very coldly.)
Then, Madam, I must say, good night!
Mai.
Where would you go?
Fil.
I'd rather not be seen
With any one who could herself bemean
So shockingly.
Mai.
Oh! this my bosom wrings;
Stay, take my carriage.
Fil.
Thank you, I have wings.
[Curtsies distantly, and sinks, so as to give an appearance that she is flying downwards.
Mai.
My friend has cut her stick, and my connexion,
And so I shall be cut in each direction;
I shall be shunn'd by all the fairy race;
But what's their countenance to his sweet face?
For his sake I could almost change my station,
Procure an act of naturalization,
And be a mortal—I can't live without him:
Stay, by-the-bye, I'll sing a song about him.
SONG.And so I shall be cut in each direction;
I shall be shunn'd by all the fairy race;
But what's their countenance to his sweet face?
For his sake I could almost change my station,
Procure an act of naturalization,
And be a mortal—I can't live without him:
Stay, by-the-bye, I'll sing a song about him.
Tune—“Jenny Jones.”
His name's Camaralzaman—charms most delectable
Lurk in his glances, his dimples, and smiles,
His father and mother are highly respectable,
Good truth, he's crown prince of the Khaledan Isles.
And indeed of all mortals, so lovely and beautiful,
That same young gentleman ranks far above,
For indeed in my heart I do love that Camaralzaman,
That sweetest of princes, good truth, I do love.
Lurk in his glances, his dimples, and smiles,
His father and mother are highly respectable,
Good truth, he's crown prince of the Khaledan Isles.
And indeed of all mortals, so lovely and beautiful,
That same young gentleman ranks far above,
For indeed in my heart I do love that Camaralzaman,
That sweetest of princes, good truth, I do love.
He's just had a row with his cross-grain'd old father,
Who wants him to wed some illustrious lass,
But he has to wedlock a rooted objection,
And into its bondage refuses to pass.
So he's locked in his room till his mind he shall alter,
Which me to deep sorrow and pity does move,
For indeed in my heart I do love that Camaralzaman,
That sweetest of princes, in truth, I do love.
Who wants him to wed some illustrious lass,
But he has to wedlock a rooted objection,
And into its bondage refuses to pass.
So he's locked in his room till his mind he shall alter,
Which me to deep sorrow and pity does move,
For indeed in my heart I do love that Camaralzaman,
That sweetest of princes, in truth, I do love.
8
But, judging by the pricking of my thumbs,
Something extremely wicked this way comes.
[Looking off.
What form is that? Hah! by this distant sight of it,
It seems a Djinn, come out to make a night of it.
Something extremely wicked this way comes.
[Looking off.
What form is that? Hah! by this distant sight of it,
It seems a Djinn, come out to make a night of it.
Dan.
(L. outside.)
Lur-li-e-ty!
Mai.
It is a Djinn—dear, dear!
When will the sky of nuisances be clear?
It's most annoying, and by no means right,
That decent spirits can't fly out at night,
But they with such-like folks must come in contact;
Now, hang me! as a justice if I won't act;
I'll take the rascal up, upon suspicion,
And only let him go on one condition,
That of himself a good account he'll render.
[Looking off.
You precious scamp! I'll bring you to a tender.
[Withdraws.
Enter Danasch, flying.
SONG.
Tune—“Mrs. Johnson.”
Oh, I have had a charming ride,
The night could not more sweetly glide
With gents, the Coal Hole's walls inside,
Or at the Doctor Johnson.
The night could not more sweetly glide
With gents, the Coal Hole's walls inside,
Or at the Doctor Johnson.
A moonlight flit I do enjy,
[Stopping, as if struck by a sudden idea.
That's wrong pronounc'd though, by-the-bye,
For Walker spells it j-o-y,
And so does Doctor Johnson.
[Stopping, as if struck by a sudden idea.
That's wrong pronounc'd though, by-the-bye,
For Walker spells it j-o-y,
And so does Doctor Johnson.
No four-in-hand, or dog-cart rare,
Can with my “patent fly” compare,
Though saying so, I'm well aware,
Would anger Doctor Johnson.
Can with my “patent fly” compare,
Though saying so, I'm well aware,
Would anger Doctor Johnson.
For that great man was wont to cry,
Who'd make a pun would fake a cly!
I don't think so myself—not I—
But so says Doctor Johnson.
Who'd make a pun would fake a cly!
I don't think so myself—not I—
But so says Doctor Johnson.
Let's see what sort of sport now have I had;
Um! taken altogether, not so bad;
In the first place, a fog to earth I sent,
Which caused a charming Railway Accident—
And which, unless the air soon gets a cleanser,
Is safe to propagate the Influenza;
Then, knowing well what most men's feelings hurts,
I tore the buttons from no end of shirts;
I'm rather proud of that last-named expedient—
[Maimoune comes forward, R.
And then—Hilloa! madam, your most obedient.
Um! taken altogether, not so bad;
In the first place, a fog to earth I sent,
Which caused a charming Railway Accident—
And which, unless the air soon gets a cleanser,
Is safe to propagate the Influenza;
Then, knowing well what most men's feelings hurts,
I tore the buttons from no end of shirts;
I'm rather proud of that last-named expedient—
[Maimoune comes forward, R.
9
Mai.
Stand and deliver!
Dan.
What?
Mai.
Your name.
Dan.
Well, really,
Sky-high-way robbery this is, most clearly.
Who steals my purse steals trash—but 'tis a shame
If any filches from me my good name.
Mai.
No sauce, sir; keep your proper spirit level.
Dan.
(aside.)
She's my superior, I'd best be civil;
My name you wanted, was it, ma'am? oh yes,
I'll give it with a taste of my address.
SONG.
Tune—“My Name, it is Sam Hall.”
My name Danasch they call,
Lady sweet—
My name Danasch they call,
Lady sweet—
My name Danasch they call,
I'm a Djinn of power, but small,
And I rambles at nightfall
Through the skies.
My name Danasch they call,
Lady sweet—
My name Danasch they call,
Lady sweet—
My name Danasch they call,
I'm a Djinn of power, but small,
And I rambles at nightfall
Through the skies.
Mai.
(shaking her head.)
That name for your good conduct pleads but vainly;
But, now I see your ugly face more plainly,
I recognise it. What, sir, were you doing?
What kind of small-beer mischief were you brewing
One night—about the middle of last week—
When, like an atmospheric airy-sneak,
I saw you from a Chinese palace crawl?
Dan.
Admiring Nature's beauties, that was all.
[Maimoune laughs.
Well, and what of it? I suppose I may?
Mai.
Oh! by all means—what sort of beauty, pray?
Dan.
A female one; such shoulders, such a face!
I'm half in love—it's very near a case.
Mai.
And pray who thus inflames your tender bosom?
Dan.
“Lend me your ears;” or—stay, you'll want to use 'em.
DUET.
Tune—“Barclay and Perkins's Drayman.”
Dan.
In Pekin town does now reside
A princess, who doesn't much lack men,
Her lily-white hand she's long denied
To lots of first-rate or “crack” men.
10
Declaring she'll never obey man—
Which vexes her Pa.
Mai.
How remarkably like
The case of my Camaral-za-man!
Dan.
They've locked her up—but it's all in vain,
She still is determined to sack man,
Though suitors approach her again and again,
She turns up her nose at each Jack man;
But the brightest beauty earth has got,
By her would appear a tame 'un—
Mai.
Now, there you're wrong, for I'm sure she cannot
Compare with my Camaral-za-man.
Dan.
Pray, who's your friend?
Mai.
One whose bright beauty's ray
Would quite eclipse your bit of China clay.
Dan.
Gammon!
Mai.
Low wretch! expressions such as that!
Dan.
I say it's gammon—cut exceeding fat—
For many insults I've a strong digestion,
But I can't have my taste call'd into question.
Mai.
The public journalists are right in stating
The lower orders' tastes want elevating.
That youth the greatest beauty ever known is.
Dan.
I'll bet you six to one, in flying ponies—
Mai.
(aside.)
Now, really, I have half a mind to take him;
I will—if but a better judge to make him—
Done! here's my hand, though it's a degradation:
[They shake hands.
Of rival lines, here's an amalgamation.
Dan.
But you must find the proof!
Mai.
I will—a valid 'un—
Fly with your princess to the isles of Khaledan
I'll meet you there, from now, in half-an-hour,
In the top chambers of the eastern tower
Of the Imperial Palace.
Dan.
I'll be there:
Three thousand miles, though, to convey a fare,
In half an-hour, one must have to fly
Like electricity.
Pooh! that's gone by;
At least, I think so, if I've heard aright of it;
Mai.
At any rate, it seems they're making light of it!
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Tune—“Fly not yet.”
Mai.
Fly, you've yet but half-an-hour
To reach your boasted beauty's bower,
And from her home, by magic might,
No matter where she spends the night—
To make her shoot the moon.
Dan.
'Tis but to vindicate my taste,
That so much time and toil I'll waste;
Oh! soon you'll find, her beauty glowing,
Will put a stop to all your crowing—
Mai.
Don't stay—don't stay.
Both.
The friend, of whom you seem so vain,
I'm quite convinced is rather plain;
You'll have to change your tune.
[Exeunt different ways.
Scene II.
—Camaralzaman's Sitting-room, an Eastern apartment of great splendour, with the various appurtenances of a modern fast man's pursuits strewed about; foils, boxing-gloves, portraits of ballet-dancers, race-horses, statuettes, &c.—The moonlight seen through an opening at the back, a lamp burning. —Camaralzaman enters, R.; reclines lazily on a couch.Cam.
'Tis now the very witching time of night,
Which, were I free, would bring with it delight;
Now could I drink hot grog, hear comic songs,
Or join the gay Casino's gladsome throngs,
Or drain, 'midst buzzing sounds of mirth and chaff,
The foaming stout, or genial half-and-half;
But here a prisoner condemned to stop,
I can indulge in neither malt nor “hop.”
Oh, cruel Pa'! to place me in this state,
Because I would avoid your own sad fate.
Dear mother, though a model of a wife,
Gave me a slight distaste for married life.
[Shudders.
Better be thus than free, and have to stand
“An eye like Ma's, to threaten and command.”
SONG.Which, were I free, would bring with it delight;
Now could I drink hot grog, hear comic songs,
Or join the gay Casino's gladsome throngs,
Or drain, 'midst buzzing sounds of mirth and chaff,
The foaming stout, or genial half-and-half;
But here a prisoner condemned to stop,
I can indulge in neither malt nor “hop.”
Oh, cruel Pa'! to place me in this state,
Because I would avoid your own sad fate.
Dear mother, though a model of a wife,
Gave me a slight distaste for married life.
[Shudders.
Better be thus than free, and have to stand
“An eye like Ma's, to threaten and command.”
Tune—“The Pope he leads,” &c.
The Pope he leads a happy life
Because he hasn't got a wife,
And one to take he's not so flat,
He knows a trick worth two of that.
No shrill abuse his ear affrights
For stopping out too late at nights;
No curtain lectures damp his hopes;
A happy lot must be the Pope's.
The Pope he leads a happy life
Because he hasn't got a wife,
And one to take he's not so flat,
He knows a trick worth two of that.
No shrill abuse his ear affrights
For stopping out too late at nights;
No curtain lectures damp his hopes;
A happy lot must be the Pope's.
12
Though, poor old Pope! if all we hear be true,
There's little need, just now, to envy you.
What shall I do to pass the time away?
I'd go to bed, but I've been there all day.
Oh! here's last Tuesday's Khaledan Gazette,
I've only read it fifteen times, as yet.
[Takes up paper, and lolls on the couch, commences reading.
Holloa! I feel a sudden wish for dozing,
My eyelids agitate for early closing!
[Drowsily.
I s'pose this parliamentary debate
Acts as an instantaneous opiate.
It's very odd—a strange—queer—drowsy—feeling,
A sort of still—so—gently—o'er—me—stealing.
There's little need, just now, to envy you.
What shall I do to pass the time away?
I'd go to bed, but I've been there all day.
Oh! here's last Tuesday's Khaledan Gazette,
I've only read it fifteen times, as yet.
[Takes up paper, and lolls on the couch, commences reading.
Holloa! I feel a sudden wish for dozing,
My eyelids agitate for early closing!
[Drowsily.
I s'pose this parliamentary debate
Acts as an instantaneous opiate.
It's very odd—a strange—queer—drowsy—feeling,
A sort of still—so—gently—o'er—me—stealing.
[Music—“Oh! slumber, my darling,” very slowly. He sleeps.
Enter Maimoune, through wall, R.
Mai.
What a convenience is this free admission
We fairies have, to ev'ry exhibition!
Where'er we please, uncharg'd, we find our way to;
Even cathedrals, they can't make us pay to.
(Looking at Camaralzaman.)
I've sent him off. What smiles his slumbers sweeten!
And there's a brow—it couldn't be brow-beaten.
With such a love as that, who could be harsh?
I wonder how he'd look with a moustache—
He's got none yet; though, thanks to sorrow's growth,
He feels a little down about the mouth.
Talking of mouths, I've of a custom heard
Called, let me see—ah! kissing—that's the word—
[Approaching Camaralzaman.
I'm told it's wrong! but where can be the crime?
[She is just about to kiss him, when Danasch appears, L. suddenly through the wall opposite, and coughs.
Arn't you a little bit before your time?
[Slightly disconcerted.
And where's the Princess? why have you not brought her?
Dan.
(with dignity.)
Would you degrade me, ma'am, from Djinn to Porter?
She's coming; I've consigned her to the cares
Of a concern in which I hold some shares—
An underground conveyance company—
I've told them the address, she's here, you see!
[El Bogi rises, C., with Badoura in his arms asleep, and veiled.
13
[El Bogi carries Badoura to the couch, where Camaralzaman is sitting.
Steady, she's “China—right side up, with care;”
Next time we meet we'll settle for the fare.
[El Bogi bows and disappears through trap, R.
Mai.
So, that's your Chinese Exhibition, is it?
Dan.
Yes—so “step forward,” ma'am, it's worth a visit;
Just going to begin.
[Removes Badoura's veil.
Mai.
Um! not amiss;
But look upon this picture, and on this.
Dan.
(with the air of a connoisseur.)
Well! not so bad; the outline pretty bold,
The flesh tints good, the shadows rather cold.
Too much foreshort'ning, p'r'aps, about the nose,
And that left elbow seems to want repose—
There's merit in it, that I freely own,
[Camaralzaman snores suddenly.
But, altogether, I don't like the tone.
In fact, both pictures' beauties fairly weighed,
I must say mine throws yours into the shade.
Mai.
If so, its case is very much the same
As certain Vernon pictures I could name;
But I deny it. Now, with fairness view it—
Your picture beat that?—'tis n't framed to do it.
Dan.
Why, then, the wager's drawn, of course. Yet, stay;
To settle it, I've thought upon a way:
To wake 'em up in turns now, I propose,
And let that one which for the other shows
Most admiration, lose. D'ye like the notion?
Mai.
I don't object to seconding the motion.
Dan.
Well, then, here goes to put the plan in force;
Mind, we're invisible, you know.
Mai.
Of course.
[Danasch sings to Badoura.
Tune—“The Swiss Boy.”
Come, arouse thee, arouse thee!
A very nice boy
To receive your opinion doth stay;
But rapturous terms in his praise please don't use,
Or, a bet I'm engaged in, you'll cause me to lose.
Then arouse thee, arouse thee!
But please don't employ
Too much praise, or the stakes I must pay.
[Badoura wakes, and looks round her, amazed.
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What place is this? my eyes!
(rubbing them)
am I awake?
I must be; no—I'm not—it must be a mistake.
[Seeing Camaralzaman, screams slightly.
Heavens! what's that? it can't be—yes, it can—
I really do believe it is a man,—
[Rises, advances, goes angrily up to him, then runs back.
One of that sex I've sworn to crush and wreck, too;
[Looks at his face, and starts.
Really, I never! and I don't expect to—
A dreadful weakness seizes me; I'm poorly—
Yes—and it's something very serious, surely.
All my strong notions upon Woman's Mission
Seem leaving me. I'm in a sad condition;
My strength, my will, my resolution, fails me.
[Running up to Camaralzaman, and shaking him.
Here, sir, get up, and let me know what ails me.
[Shakes him.
Why, he won't wake; unmov'd he keeps his station.
Now, in this very trying situation,
With every sort of doubt my bosom wringing,
What can be so appropriate as singing?
SONG.am I awake?
I must be; no—I'm not—it must be a mistake.
[Seeing Camaralzaman, screams slightly.
Heavens! what's that? it can't be—yes, it can—
I really do believe it is a man,—
[Rises, advances, goes angrily up to him, then runs back.
One of that sex I've sworn to crush and wreck, too;
[Looks at his face, and starts.
Really, I never! and I don't expect to—
A dreadful weakness seizes me; I'm poorly—
Yes—and it's something very serious, surely.
All my strong notions upon Woman's Mission
Seem leaving me. I'm in a sad condition;
My strength, my will, my resolution, fails me.
[Running up to Camaralzaman, and shaking him.
Here, sir, get up, and let me know what ails me.
[Shakes him.
Why, he won't wake; unmov'd he keeps his station.
Now, in this very trying situation,
With every sort of doubt my bosom wringing,
What can be so appropriate as singing?
Tune—“The Jolly Young Waterman.”
I really ne'er saw so delightful a sort of man,
All my political notions so high,
His charms have upset with uncommon celerity,
Winning my heart and delighting my eye.
I really ne'er saw so delightful a sort of man,
All my political notions so high,
His charms have upset with uncommon celerity,
Winning my heart and delighting my eye.
If he'd wake and propose, without feeling much sorrow,
I'd wed him to-night, before to-morrow;
But for loving or liking he don't seem to care,
Or he wouldn't lie snoozing and slumbering there.
I'd wed him to-night, before to-morrow;
But for loving or liking he don't seem to care,
Or he wouldn't lie snoozing and slumbering there.
Dan.
She's said enough—perchance, a little more;
Oblige me, ma'am, by sleeping as before.
[Makes mesmeric passes before Badoura's face. She drops asleep beside Camaralzaman.
Mai.
Now, own your China ornament outdone,
By spicy Araby's most spicy son;
When that son rises, no admiring tones
Like hers you'll hear.
[Taps Camaralzaman, playfully, with her wand.
Get up, a lazy-bones!
15
Tune—“Isabelle.”
Wake, dearest, wake! by me invited,
You'll see what you will see;
But, by the spectacle highly delighted,
I really don't think you will be.
Here's a belle, here's a belle, here's a belle,
That we want you to get up and gaze on;
Please to tell, please to tell, please to tell,
If you think her worth heaping much praise on.
Tumble up.
Wake, dearest, wake! by me invited,
You'll see what you will see;
But, by the spectacle highly delighted,
I really don't think you will be.
Here's a belle, here's a belle, here's a belle,
That we want you to get up and gaze on;
Please to tell, please to tell, please to tell,
If you think her worth heaping much praise on.
Tumble up.
Cam.
(starting up.)
Give me another chop! cut off the fat
Look sharp, there, waiter. Soft! what am I at?
Another dream of bliss like that I'll seek.
[Yawns; and, in doing so, he touches Badoura's cheek with his hand; he looks up, astonished.
What do I touch? now, if that is n't cheek?
Am I awake? a woman in this place!
[Rubs his eyes.
Yet, stay, just now I slapped her in the face,
And, though with rage against the sex I swell,
I ought to kiss the place to make it well.
[Kisses her.
I think the blow I gave was rather rough,
And one kiss, p'r'aps, will scarcely be enough:
I'll try some more.
[Kisses her again.
Now, wake; I wish you would
Get up, and tell me if it's done you good.
[Shakes her.
That shaking on her no impression makes,
[Shakes her again.
And I can't wake her in a brace of shakes.
Miss What's-your-name, come, please wake up, do try;
She can't wake; she's bewitched, and—
[Stopping a little, and looking at her.
So am I.
My anti-marriage vows away I fling,
And stand, henceforth, a champion of the ring.
I would propose, did not her silence stop one,
And let this sudden visit prove a “pop” one.
SONG.Look sharp, there, waiter. Soft! what am I at?
Another dream of bliss like that I'll seek.
[Yawns; and, in doing so, he touches Badoura's cheek with his hand; he looks up, astonished.
What do I touch? now, if that is n't cheek?
Am I awake? a woman in this place!
[Rubs his eyes.
Yet, stay, just now I slapped her in the face,
And, though with rage against the sex I swell,
I ought to kiss the place to make it well.
[Kisses her.
I think the blow I gave was rather rough,
And one kiss, p'r'aps, will scarcely be enough:
I'll try some more.
[Kisses her again.
Now, wake; I wish you would
Get up, and tell me if it's done you good.
[Shakes her.
That shaking on her no impression makes,
[Shakes her again.
And I can't wake her in a brace of shakes.
Miss What's-your-name, come, please wake up, do try;
She can't wake; she's bewitched, and—
[Stopping a little, and looking at her.
So am I.
My anti-marriage vows away I fling,
And stand, henceforth, a champion of the ring.
I would propose, did not her silence stop one,
And let this sudden visit prove a “pop” one.
Tune—“Young Agnes,” (Fra Diavolo.)
Young lady, beauteous flower,
Sweet as blooming May,
Shake off sleep's drowsy power,
And hear me say my say:
I'm rich, and I'm well to do,
I'm handsome, young, and tall,
I want to propose to you,
If you'll but wake, that's all.
So, wake, my fairest flower,
Dost thou not hear Love's call?
[Sitting by Badoura, and taking her hand.
Young lady, beauteous flower,
Sweet as blooming May,
Shake off sleep's drowsy power,
And hear me say my say:
16
I'm handsome, young, and tall,
I want to propose to you,
If you'll but wake, that's all.
So, wake, my fairest flower,
Dost thou not hear Love's call?
Do, please, awake! what power thus silent keeps her?
Mai.
(aside.)
I'm getting very angry. Go to sleep, sir.
[Hits Camaralzaman a sharp blow on the head, with her wand. He drops off asleep, immediately.
Dan.
(aside.)
The Peri colours up like a geranium,
Queer thoughts are brooding in her Peri-cranium.
Mai.
Now, but that I'm a spirit, I should say,
That I was going to cry or faint away;
And were such things worn by the Peri race,
I'd beg of somebody to cut my lace.
But this is weak! how could I ever waste
A thought on one so destitute of taste?
SONG.
Tune—“Carry me back to Ole Varginny.”
[Mai.]
Oh! if a grain of taste he had,
He'd never choose her for a wife;
I never felt anything like so mad
In all my Peri life;
She's coarse, she's old, she squints, she's skinny,
But let me see her no more!
(To Danasch.)
Oh! carry her back, you stupid ninny,
Away to China's shore.
Chorus. [Together.]
Mai.
Oh! carry her back, you stupid ninny,
And let me see her no more.
Dan.
I'll carry her back; but stupid ninny
I won't be called any more.
[At the conclusion of the Chorus, Maimoune strikes her hand fiercely against the wall, and disappears through it “in a huff.”
[Dan.]
A stuck-up minx! as arrogant as crusty,
Treating me here like dirt—I'm none so dusty—
Like a mere servant, ordering me about;
Egad! I'll serve her—that is, serve her out.
17
[Cock crows.
Yes, and the “early bird,” I do declare,
Already on the ground begins to scrub,
For picking up the worm which forms his grub;
I must be off now, by your leave, my dear—
[Takes Badoura on his arm.
To quote an ancient saw, “you don't lodge here.”
[Sinks with her.
Scene III.
—China.—Gardens of the Imperial Palace. Chinese music.—Enter a Procession of Guards, Mandarins, &c. They form a group on one side; then enter the Emperor.Man.
Long live the Emperor!
Emp.
Silence, villains! stow it!
We'll not live long, unless we like—you know it.
'Tis not for your plebeian throats to give
Orders to us how long you'd have us live.
[They all prostrate themselves before him.
Sons of burnt fathers! what means that position?
How dare you tumble down without permission?
[They rise abruptly, and stand bolt upright, in a line.
Now, by my pigtail! by my father's nails!
By the imperial dragon's sacred scales!
My mind's so tossed about, so hurried, flurried,
Bothered, perplexed, annoyed, insulted, worried,
That soon I feel, with passion and disgust,
Within my bosom there will be a bust—
One universal smash my senses scatter—
[Mildly to audience.
Yet, stay, I'd best first tell you what's the matter.
SONG.
Tune—“Lord Lovel.”
[Emp.]
Lord love ye, now list, while my tale I relate,
And to my sad story give heed,
'Tis by my own daughter I'm brought to this state,
And I'm very unhappy indeed!
Chorus.
Deed—deed,
He's very unhappy in-deed!
[Emp.]
'Tother day, “'tis my wish you should marry,” I said;
“Indeed though I won't,” says she—
And of all the young princes I've wished her to wed,
Not one will my lady fan-cy.
18
Cy—cy,
Not one will his lady fan-cy.
[Emp.]
For she's vowed, and she's vowed, and she's vowed, and she's vowed,
And she's vowed, and she's vowed ev'ry day,
That she never will marry—her spirit so proud,
No husband will ever obey.
Chorus.
Bey—bey,
No husband will ever o-bey.
[Emp.]
But no longer I'll beg; I've been gentle enough,
I'll insist on her marriage to-morrow;
I'll be savage, despotic, ferocious, and gruff,
Though to be so 'twill plunge me in sorrow.
Chorus.
Orrow—orrow,
To be so will plunge him in sor-row.
[Trumpet.
Enter an Usher, introducing Jin Sling.
Ush.
His Highness Prince Jin Sling, Prince of Japan,
Heir to the Isles of—
Jap.
(entering, and pushing him backwards.)
That'll do, my man.
Emp.
How fares our guest this morning?
Jap.
Oh! tol-ol-ish.
Emp.
(aside.)
Japan is not remarkable for polish.
Jap.
But, now to business: come, what says your daughter
To the fine eloquence with which I've sought her?
Is she resolved still to oppose her fate, sir,
And miss the splendid match that here awaits her?
Emp.
Great prince! altho' I grieve to find it so,
Emphatically speaking, it's no go!
I pressed your suit—she swore she'd ne'er espouse—
She'd not be saddled with the bridal vows;
The sex's dignity forbad such thraldom
To men—inferior beings, as she called 'em—
Jap.
Infatuated female! did you tell her
That I'm considered a good-looking fellow;
That I have talent, courage, name, and rank,
Fame in the field, and money in the Bank?
Emp.
It's no use telling her such things as these,
Such pleas don't suit her, and such suits don't please;
19
Conduct which, to a father, didn't ought to was;
She's thrown off all the show of love she shammed first,
And, rather than obey, she'll see me—
[Crash. Loud noise of slamming doors, &c.
[Badoura rushes in through door, L. her hair hanging loose down her back. Women, &c., following.
Duet.—(“Lucia di Lammermoor.”)
Recitative.
Bad.
Oh, my father! my best friend, oh!
Some pity show, pray,
Unto poor me, oh!
Or in two my heart you'll rend, oh!
So my husband
Now let me see, oh!
[Kneels to Emperor.
Emp.
How, your husband? you surely have been dreaming,
I suppose, oh?
Bad.
Nay; I've seen him.
Emp.
Gammon!
Bad.
'Tis you know so;
I saw him but last night.
Emp.
Come, come, let's have no nonsense.
[Crosses to L.
Bad.
I say last night, sir.
Emp.
Come, come, no nonsense.
Bad.
What?
Emp.
No nonsense!
Aria.
Emp.
If you teaze me, you'll repent, oh!
You must be mad for to talk so to me, oh!
Cease, or I my wrath give vent to,
Which will teach ye civil to be;
Mad you are. A commission shall attend, oh!
De Lunatico Inquirendo.
Bad.
You may rave and rant to me, oh!
Say I am mad, and exhaust all your threats, oh!
Still I fear no ill to see, oh!
But for that sweet youth my heart still frets.
Give him to me, or mind what you are arter,
For you in me will find you've caught a Tartar!
[Bad. and Emp. together.]
Bad.
Yes, you'll find you've caught a Tartar,
Caught a Tartar, sir, in me!
Emp.
Oh, my darter! oh, my darter!
You're as mad as mad can be!
[... together.]
Emp.
She's mad!
Bad.
I'm not!
20
What can you know about it?
We've said you're mad, and so how dare you doubt it?
Bad.
Nay, best of parents—once more glad my sight
With that fair form that I beheld last night.
Jap.
Sweet maid, dismiss that mockery unreal,
Cut not your true beau for that beau ideal.
Emp.
'Tis clear as mud! she's mad; 'tis as I said,
[Firmly
Girl, there stands he whom I command you wed;
My words are law, mind!
Bad.
Then your law's a spooney 'un—
A poor law, that would drive me to that Union.
Emp.
Rash girl! no more; was ever heard such daring?
This madness must be cured; 'tis past all bearing.
Away, slaves! scour the country till ye find
A doctor, who'll restore her to her mind;
She shall be cured!
[Exeunt Mandarins, R., hastily.
(To Badoura.)
How dare you lose your senses?
Get well at once, or take the consequences.
[Exeunt tragically, followed by Usher and Guards.
Jap.
(Kneeling to Badoura, and holding her dress.)
Oh! sweetest princess, whose bright charms unfold
Such wondrous beauties, at thy feet behold
A prince of ancient line and noble blood,
In his best trowsers, kneeling in the mud.
Bad.
I may be handsome, but I'll now be plain,
So, I'll not have you, sir—you kneel in vain.
Jap.
Can one so fair speak thus to her adorer?
Your form a Venus, but your words a Floorer;
Think better of it—no harsh lord I'd be,
A model husband you should find in me;
I'd ask no latch-key, ne'er from home would stray,
Would eat cold mutton on a washing-day.
Bad.
No more, sir—leave me: 'tis in vain to sue
Where no effects can possibly accrue.
Jap.
Nay, but my suit—your father does abet it.
Bad.
“Methinks, I see my father” going to get it.
DUET.
Tune—“My pretty Page.”
Bad.
A pretty rage, no doubt, papa
Is in; but threats quite useless are.
Jap.
Oh, fairest lady, hear me still,
I'll love you true, indeed I will.
Bad.
Once more, I say, get out again,
You do not suit me now, that's plain.
Jap.
My loving wife I'm sure you'll be;
I know you can't say no to me.
21
Leave me, I pray—
Jap.
Don't send me away,
You'll repent, if you do;
For you love me as well
As I love you.
Bad.
The deuce I do!
Jap.
Indeed you do
Bad.
What, I?
Jap.
Yes, you.
Bad.
I?
Jap.
You.
Bad.
Not I—get away.
Jap.
Not I—here I'll stay.
[Exeunt, L.
Scene IV.
—A gloomy, demoniac-looking Cave. Danasch discovered at a table formed of rocks, with pen, ink, and paper before him. Several Geni seated round and grouped in various attitudes.All.
Hear! hear! hear!
Dan.
Now, gentlemen, before we cut it short,
Attention, if you please, to my report.
All.
Hear! hear!
Dan.
(reads.)
Resolved,—That Peris are a stuck-up set,
And a let down or two deserve to get.
All.
Hear! hear! hear!
Dan.
Resolved,—That one of them—by name Maimoune—
Is, in this meeting's estimation, “spooney,”
Towards a prince, who does her heart possess,
And also jealous of a young princess.
All.
Hear! hear! hear!
Dan.
Resolved,—That, as the said princess and prince
Met with each other once, but never since,
And, unless help'd by magic power, it's plain
There's little chance they'll ever meet again—
This meeting shall provide the help requir'd,
By which said meeting gains its ends desired,—
Namely, to give said Peri great vexation,
And of her monkey cause the elevation.
All.
Hear! hear!
Dan.
Resolved,—That Danasch be at once deputed
To see this meeting's wishes executed.
All.
Hear! hear! hear!
[Great applause. Danasch sits down.
(A Djinn rises.)
22
Before you think of moving, suffer me to—
I beg to move—what you must all agree to—
A vote of thanks to our esteem'd friend there,
For his efficient conduct in the chair.
All.
Hear! hear!
[El Bogi springs up very suddenly through trap.
El B.
I second it.
1st Dji.
Then, please, before we lose you all,
Be kind enough to signify as usual.
[The Geni raise their hands, and cheer.
Dan.
(rising.)
Gents! There are customs which must be obeyed—
Customs and duties Spirits can't evade.
The honour done me upon this occasion,
I feel convinced—that is, it's my persuasion—
The—ah!—I mean—that is—I must confess—
That—unaccustomed as I am to—yes—
[Applause.
Thank you—I feel—by your approval backed,
I beg to—Hem!—sit down, in point of fact.
All.
Hear! hear!
1st Dji.
The meeting's up, I s'pose.
[They all rise.
Dan.
Here, stop! don't start;
There's something to come in before we part.
One's promises, you know, one must perform;
I said I'd stand a drop of something warm.
I like a real good drain, which, by the way,
Is more than certain City nobs can say.
[A large punch-bowl rises, with flames under it, like the witches' cauldron in “Macbeth.” El Bogi hands around drinking-cups. Danasch ladles out the beverage.
SONG AND CHORUS.
Music—“Macbeth.”
Dan.
Let's have a drain.
1st Dji.
Agreed!
2d Dji.
Agreed!
Air—“Sir Roger de Coverley.”
Dan.
Care and sorrow dwindling,
Mirth and splendour kindling;
Let us be happy and jolly,
And drink success to swindling.
Chorus.
Care and sorrow, &c.
| Camaralzaman And Badoura ; Or, The Peri Who Loved The Prince | |