University of Virginia Library

The fourth Satyr.

[Thapothecarie here I leaue]

Paule.
Thapothecarie here I leaue,

Apothecaries & Surgeons.

which so for Nummus tugges,
That he ye people noyes with pelfe,
and filthy stincking drugges.
So let I passe the Surgeon,
who with his fowle deceyte,
Doth hooke syr Nummus to his handes
and takes him at receyte.
The pelting patches will presume
to practise Phisick, and
Will minister lyke learned men
in places of the Land.
Let go such Squibs: I know them not.
Yet people do complaine:
And well I wote, they vse such wayes
for meare intent to gaine.
A rablement of raskall Roges
as if weeld harrow hell,
I thinke we should not finde the lyke
in Plutoes house to dwell.
But let them packe, Ile passe them ore.
Perhaps there many be
Both honest, good, and expert men,
they shall goe by for me.
And now yle turne me to my tale,
and (as my course doth tende)

Marchant men.

To euyll sort of Marchaunt men
the sequele wyll I bende.
Lets see (I praye) howe they turmoyle
and fixe their whole intent
To catche syr Nummus by the coate.
Let's see how they be bent
And sole addicted vnto gaine.
One runnes me to the Indes,

Not the deede but the intent is to be misliked.

To Gynnie, Spaine, and Calecut:
where he such chaffare findes,
As (there although it cost him small)
wyll bring him here a pounde:
Yea, ten perhaps, or else they lye
which in such welth abounde.
Another skuds me ore the Seas,
and fully fraught with toyes,
He brings them into London, where
at length he welth enioyes.
The people are so fondly bent,
theyle chaunge their Cheese for chalck.
And for such pelting pieuish trashe,
theyle let good chaffare walck.

Pueros puerilia decent.

O foolishe, fonde and doltishe momes,
oh men deuoyde of wit,
O Capons cramde with barly corne:
howe farre are stones vnfit
For such pyld palting pieuish Cockes?
howe yll bestowde is welth

A Foole wyll not giue his bable for the Tower of London.

On such new fangled fondish foltes
which chaunge the same for pelth?
One bringes mee ore a painted Priest,
another bringes a Nunne,
And shops are fraught with toyes, wherewith
are English people wonne.
Another grounded well in wealth,
(acquainted with the guyse)
Doth bring vs in such daynties, as
the man can best deuise.
Some else there be, and many such
(chiefe Marchaunts in the Towne)
That for our Peacocks plumes doo bring
and sylcks the streame adowne:
They knowe the Lawes doo lymit where,
and what such should be worne,
And they such Lawes to execute,
haue eftsoones office borne.
And yet for that their gaine is such
and wealth so great therby,
They must forbeare, and wincking walk.
The Lawes must lawlesse lye:
And Uarlets vaunt about the streate,
lyke men of high estate:
Their Hosen strowting forth with silcke,
and plumes vpon their pate.
The Raskalles now must roame abroade
lyke men of honest port:
And Strumpets stately in attire
lyke Ladies mint resort
To places where them selues thinke best
without all kinde of doubt:
They customde are about the Towne
and shall be borne out.
It seemeth so vndoubtedly:
for nothing is amended.
Although the Lawes haue sharply see
and punishment extended.
Nowe, other some vagaries fetch
abroade I wote ner where,

Such as bring them in for intent aforesayde are to be blamed.

And they bring in most pleasaunt spice
with Hops and other geare:
These make fine mouthed Gentlemen.
For who but Marchaunts now?
Who wallow more in wealth than they
lyke peeres I wote ner how?

I speake not of the trade but of the corruption of the trade & abuse of the same.

Yea, who are they but Marchauntmen
that haue the costly fare?
Who now in banquets with these men
are able to compare?
For such straunge store of diuers meates
and dishes finely wrought?
Who hath the lyke? no man besides.
Welnigh it costes them nought.
They sell so deare and take such gaine,
that well they may afoorde
To set fine Marchpanes and such lyke
vpon their seruaunts boorde.
Thus may we see these kinde of men
how they for Nummus prodde:
A man would thinke that soothly they
take Nummus for a Godde.
They labor so with might and maine,

Although they haue money in such price, yet euyll gotten goodes shall be ill spent.

they so besturre their stumpes.
They exercise such ackward wayes
to bring it in by lumps.
They scratch, they scrape, they mise, they muse
at night when they should rest.
They searche their senses and bethinke
howe to obteyne it best.
And ah alas, some do deuise
to let it out for gaine:
Such gaine as at the length will bring
to them infernall paine.
And (not content with fowle deceyt
that they in sale do vse)
Some of them do in lone alas
their countrymen abuse.
Let Preachers crye and tell them ont,
but nothing will preuayle:
They flocke, they floute, and iest at it.
They bid them kisse their tayle.
They haue no shame, but (brasen fasde)

A lamentable cal[illeg.].

they stick not it to call
A gainesome Occupation.
And so the people fall
From honest state, to plaine banckrowte
through such their Wooluish wayes.
The Commons neare were so opprest
as in these wofull dayes.
They hooke, they hawke for Nummus so,
they cogge, they foyst and powle,
They lay such snares by broking meanes,
that thus they Nummus towle.
A thousande meanes sinistre, they
account and call exchaunge,
Although thereby be men vndone:
the case is verie straunge.
And wofull tys no doubt to see
how lightly they do way
Th'account which must be made by them
to God another day.
They are right wise in worldly wytte:
surpassing is their braine.
But oh, they do applie the same
to nothing else but gaine.
And when they haat, how is it spent?
Attende a whyle, and you
Shall haue it layde before your eyes
and set vnto the vew.
This day, my Lorde his speciall friende
must dyne with him (no naye)
His Partners, Friendes and Aldermen:
wherefore he must puruaye
Both Capon, Swan, and Hernshoe good,
fat Bitture, Larcke and Quayle:
Right Plouer, Snype, and Woodcock fine
with Curlew, Wype and Rayle:
Stonetiuets, Teale, and Pecteales good,
with Busterd fat and plum,
Fat Pheasaunt Powt, and Plouer base
for them that after come.
Stent, Stockard, Stampine, Tāterueale,
and Wigeon of the best:
Puyt, Partrich, Blackbirde and
fat Shoueler with the rest.
Two Warrants eke he must prouide
to haue some Uenson fat.
And meanes heele make for red Deere too,
(there is no nay of that.)
And needefully he must prouide
(although we speake not ont)
Both Peacock, Crane, and Turkicock,
and (as such men are wont.)
He must foresee that he ne lacke
colde bakemeates in the ende:
With Custards, Tarts, and Florentines,
the bancquet to amende.
And (to be short and knit it vp)
he must not wanting see
Straunge kindes of fysh at second course
to come in their degree.
As Porpesse, Seale and Salmond good
with Sturgeon of the best
And Turbot, Lobster, with the lyke
to furnish out the feast.
All this theyle haue, and else much more,
sydes Marchpane and greene Cheese,
Stewde wardens, Prunes, & sweete conserues
with spiced Wine like Lees.
Greeneginger, Sucket, Suger Plate,
and Marmaladie fine:
Blauncht Almonds, Peares and Ginger bread.
But Peares should we assigne
And place before (as meete it is)
at great mens boordes: for why,
Rawe fruites are first in seruice styll,
Else Seruing men doo lye.
But now me thinkes, one quips me vp
and spurs a question heere.
He sayes (forsooth) that I mislike
to haue men keepe good cheere.
In deede, the stomack ouerchardgde
and man full gorgde with meate,
Doth make the minde and inwarde man
vnfit for reasons seate.
For chaunge no doubt annoyes the man,
and meate not well indewde,
Doth make the same scant halfe a man
if reason be renewde.
And what of this? shoulde this reformde,
house keeping now depell?
No sure, for hospitalitie
becomth them very well.
But that this cheere is alway such,
I plainely do deny.
Some feast great men for frendship sake,
and let the poore go by.
They rather doot to oppresse the poore,
and by such friendship got,
The poore haue nought within their hands
which they get to them not.
For what through frendship welth & force
no one enioyes the thing,
That (if they lyke) some will not soone
into their clouches bring.
But goods yll gote, are euyll spent.
And howe can they bestowe
Their welth on poore and Preachers true
Which through deceyt did growe?
No fie, t'were shame and fowle reproche
t'aue beggers at their borde:
An't seemes (some think) all yll bestowde
that's spent t'encrease Gods worde.
For (worse then this) some cannot byde
t'aue beggers at their gate,
Nor not repine when Preachers lyue
in meane and simple state.
O Labirinths of lothsome lust,
O hellish humane harts,
O beastly belching bely gods
that thus their store conuarts:
O lumpishe Luskes, that lieffer had
to haue of Uiands store:
To winne the Rytchman, then to feede
the begger at their dore.
O stony harts, that more esteeme
a Monckey tyde with chaine,
Then their poore brother, for whose sake
Christe Iesus sufferde paine.
O wicked Wights of wooluish kinde,
which so the Lambes deuowre,
And crāckly cram themselues with spoyle
of needy soules each howre.
And (more then this:) for how doth walck
Sir Nummus day by daye?
How trudgeth it to buy the Wife
and Daughter fine arraye?
They must not go as other doo.
Wherefore, they must deuise
To haue them knowne from cōmon sort
by some newfangled guise.
T'is meete therefore, as they do not
with courtlyke Dames compare,
Euen so they should from townish wiues
their garments new repaire.
And so (forsooth) his wife must haue
prepared out of hand,
Gaye garments of the finest stuffe
that is within the land.
She must haue Partlet, Square & Lace,
with Chaine about hir neck:
She must haue costly kinde of chaunge,
and all thinges at hir beck.
Hir Daughter also must be clad
well lyke a Ladies feere,
And all to walcke about the streate
with hir true Louer deere.
What tho? Forsooth, she must not wed
but with some wealthie man,
And one that must be grounded rych,
though honest when he can.
And thus I say (aswell t'is seene)
fayre Parnell must be pranckt
And walcke at wyll: whereby it haps
oft tymes that she is banckte.
And all through meanes euen of hir Sire
which so consumes his good,
And ioyes therein, more then to giue
the hungrie wretch his foode.
Chaunce some men see good deedes they do.
But in good sooth not I
(Though many naught) can vnderstand.
T'were sinne on them to lye.
And nowe, as some you see to scrape
by vyle sinistre wayes:
So may you see them spend as yll
in these our later dayes.
I meane for so much as they spend.
But well haue we to weete,
Their hoording and their Chesting vp
is all as farre vnmeete
As this their spence and filthy trade,
as this their prowling guise,
As this their building all for gaine
and profite to aryse:
As this their hatefull vyle contempt
of poore and needy Wights:
As this their robbing and their stealth.
As these their sinfull slights.
The poore complaine and wanting, crye
through hunger halfe forepinde:
And some through want, about them haue
their fainting breath resignd.
And yet their Cofers farced lye.
Their Bags are filde at full.
But wote you what? it is reseru'de
For Tib his pretie Trull,
And Dick his Boy that dappart ladde:
which for his sake, perchaunce
Euen both of them, when he is gone,
wyll make syr Nummus daunce.
But alwayes this is not the cause
of such their spitefull hoord.
For certs I thinke they neuer looke
at all to come aboord
In crooked Charons vgly Boate:
Or else perhaps they thinke
(As long they haue) the Pope shall purge
and saue them all for chinke.
And in the meane time weene they best
to couer't close and fine,
And bring more toot, t'encrease the heape.
This iudgement is of mine.
Else thinges amisse, before exprest,
should nere so yll remaine,
But soone they would reforme them well
and make them streight againe.
Which so to do, God graunt them grace.
And clense their fylthie mindes:
That Auarice maye once decay
which so their body bindes,
And subiect makes to vyle deuise,
to Usurie and deceate,
That naught they are, and wyll persist
tyll grace do blow retreate.
I ende with them: protesting styll
I touch no good man heere,
But such as through these words of mine
shall wrathfull bent appeere.
For sure I am that many iust,
and men vpright remaine,
Exempted from this talke of mine.
Who neuer yet with staine
Or spot of beastly Usurie
or vile notorious vice,
Were once corrupted or infect.
which are discrete and wise.
And (truth it is) they nill disdaine
at this troth telling tale.
And for the rest, let them adue,
my tongue must further vale.