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Thalia's Banquet

Furnished with an hundred and odde dishes of newly deuised Epigrammes, Whereunto (beside many worthy friends) are inuited all that loue in offensiue mirth, and the Muses. By H. P. [i.e. Henry Peacham]
Peacham, Henry (1576?-1643?)
  
[dedication]

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Thalia loquitur.
 1. 
To my Reader.
 2. 
Vpon Tvllvs.
 3. 
To Laelivs.
 4. 
Vpon Fvmoso.
 5. 
To Mr. Ben Iohnson:
 6. 
To Mr. I. Selden of the Inner Temple.
 7. 
To Mr. Edward Hayward.
 8. 
Vpon Lavina.
 9. 
Vpon Dare an vpstart Poet.
 10. 
Vpon Tambvrro.
 11. 
Vpon Soranzo.
 12. 
To Vellivs.
 13. 
Epigram 13.
 4. 
Vpon the Turkish Alkaron.
 15. 
Vpon Boone.
 16. 
In Diuites.
 17. 
Vpon Richard.
 18. 
Vpon Gellia.
 19. 
Vpon Nasuto.
 20. 
Vpon the Asse.
 21. 
Vpon Vertue, Mistrisse Milla's maid.
 22. 
To the nobly-disposed, modest, and faire Sisters, Mistresse Aleezia, and my euer-honored Mistresse, Mistresse Anne Dudley.
 23. 
To the learned and euery way accomplished, Sir Hamond Straunge, Knight.
 24. 
Vpon a Spanish Souldier.
 25. 
To Laura.
 26. 
Vpon Count Surly.
 27. 
Vpon Corydon.
 28. 
Vpon Otho.
 29. 
To the Noble minded and most worthy, Maister Thomas Knyvet of Ashwelthorp.
 30. 
To the Towne of Wimondham in Norfolk.
 31. 
Vpon Indeedla.
 32. 
In Dianam maritum alloquentem.
 33. 
To Maister William Baker, Secretarie vnto my L. G. of Cantuarburie.
 34. 
To Maister Christopher Sherland of Graies Inne.
 35. 
Vpon an Italian Prouerbe.
 36. 
Vpon Hugh.
 37. 
An Epitaph vpon a Colliar.
 38. 
To Maister Michael Drayton.
 39. 
Vpon Drumme.
 40. 
Of my selfe.
 41. 
To Mistris Alice Apsley daughter to the virtuous Lady the L. Apsley.
 42. 
To Sir Iohn Heueningham.
 43. 
Vpon Profuso.
 44. 
Vpon Santomar.
 45. 
To Emson.
 46. 
Vpon Drug.
 47. 
Vpon my friend a certaine Yeoman of Norfolk.
 48. 
Vpon Sir Hugh.
 49. 
To my kind and learned friend Maister Owen Hughes of Remerstone in N.
 50. 
To some kinde of Readers.
 51. 
To Maister Sam. Simson fellow of Trinitie Colledge in Cambridge.
 52. 
Vpon Septimio.
 53. 
Vpon Sir Lanfranke and his dog.
 54. 
To the Nobly disposed and truely Honorably minded Sir Thomas Southwell.
 55. 
To the onely fauourer of the Muse and all Excellencie, Maister Dru Drurie of Riddlesworth.
 56. 
To either Vniuersitie,
 57. 
To Perseus.
 57. 
To my true friend and euery way accomplished Maister Wentwoth Bradburie.
 58. 
To my Kind friend Captaine Henry Lucy, the Paragon of Chiualry.
 59. 
Vpon Podarges.
 60. 
Vpon Rosimus.
 61. 
Vpon Sir R.
 62. 
To Maister Bartholomew Hales Iustice of the peace in the towne of Warwicke.
 63. 
To Maister Thomas Townsend of Testerton.
 64. 
Vpon Gemma.
 65. 
To Anthony my Stationer.
 66. 
Vpon Gloriosos house.
 67. 
Vpon God-dammee's band.
 68. 
Vpon two Ladies.
 69. 
To my Reader.
 70. 
To my towardly and hopefull Scholer Maister Edward Chamberlaine of Barnhans Broome.
 71. 
Vpon Corax.
 72. 
Vpon Sir Acolastus.
 73. 
Vpon my selfe.
 74. 
Vpon Mildred.
 75. 
Vpon Mend-shoo.
 76. 
Vpon Sir Simon Harpax.
 78. 
Vpon Crab.
 79. 
To Maister Iohn Browne of Sparkes in Tacolneston.
 80. 
Vpon my selfe.
 81. 
Vpon Grantorto.
 82. 
Vpon Dunmo.
 83. 
To R. H. my iouiall host at Virecht.
 84. 
Vpon Rinaldo and Reiner.
 85. 
Vpon Saburro.
 86. 
Vpon Milo.
 87. 
To my ingenious pupill, and most honest atturney Maister Iohn Cock of Deepham.
 88. 
To my very friend Maister Thomas Anguish.
 89. 
Vpon Lodronio.
 90. 
Vpon Rombo.
 91. 
Vpon Rusco.
 92. 
Vpon Augustus Cæsar.
 93. 
Of a Spaniard and a Hollander.
 94. 
To Sir Ninian Ouzell.
 95. 
Vpon Albinus.
 96. 
Vpon Methusus.
 97. 
Impresa's. To Maister William Bard, the glory of our Nation for Musique.
 98. 
To my La. M.
 99. 
To Maister Doctor Dowland.
 100. 
To my true friend Maister William Frost lately gone for Ireland.
 101. 
To honest Rafe.
 102. 
Epigram 102.
 103. 
To the ingenious and excellent in Poesie Maister Thurstane Smith.
 104. 
To my euer loued scholler Maister Hammond Claxton.
 105. 
Vpon Dorinda.
 106. 
Vpon Sir Dolphin.
 107. 
Vpon Sir Graceles.
 108. 
Ad Angliam vestram.
 109. 
Ad Syluam Ducis.
 110. 
Vpon Ello.
 111. 
Epigram 111.
 112. 
Vpon Apodemon.
 113. 
Vpon Saint Maries steeple.
 114. 
Vpon Oenopolio.
 115. 
Vpon Furno.
 116. 
Vpon a Duch Boore, and his answere to Charles the fift.
 117. 
Vpon Theorbo.
 118. 
Vpon Taurus.
 119. 
Vpon Sir Tristram.
 120. 
Epigram 120.
 121. 
To my very worthy and honest friend Maister Robert Constable of Hingham, high Constable of the hundred of Forehow.
 122. 
Epigram 122.
 123. 
Epigram 123.
 124. 
Vpon Nocturnus.
 125. 
Vpon Andrada.
 126. 
Epigram 126.
 127. 
Epigram 127.

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Vpon Sir Tristram.

Epigram 119.

See yee Sir Tristram yonder on the stage,
With the huge feather and his snout-faire page,
A fearefull neater tongue hanging by his side,
With a stilletta to his girdle tied,
The very same whom Druso's prentise met,
The other day and challeng'd for a debt
Some nine yeares owing; when Sir Tristram drew,
And in his furie at the prentise flew,
Who mildly crau'd a word within his eare,
(For shame, said he, it is to quarrell heere)
And by themselues, they might but next day meete,
In Finsoury, where he hit debt should quit
By valour, or be lyable to it.
It was agreed, next morrow both gone out,
Met, drawne, and ready for to haue about,
How long to fence, quoth Tristram, hast thou gone,
Seauen yeares, quoth' prentise: twenty now and one,

My sword, sayd Tristram, liaue I practised:
Then heare me fellow, it may not be sayd,
I euer wrong'd thee (for by all the Gods,
A gentleman I am, and scorne the oddes,)
Go foureteene yeares yet longer to thy fence,
I'le meete thee heere againe two seuen yeares hence,
On equall termes, and then God-dammee fight,
And by this hand-la do thee any right.
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