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The What D'ye Call It

A Tragi-Comi-Pastoral Farce
  
  
  
  
  
  

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SCENE II.
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SCENE II.

Sir Roger, Sir Humphry, Justice Statute, Filbert, Sergeant, Kitty, Grandmother, Aunt, Soldier.
Soldier.
Sergeant, the Captain to your Quarters sent;
To ev'ry Alehouse in the Town I went.

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Our Corp'ral now has the Deserter found;
The Men are all drawn out, the Pris'ner bound.

Sergeant.
[To Filbert.
Come, Soldier, come—

Kitty.
—Ah! take me, take me too.

Grandmother.
Stay, forward Wench;—

Aunt.
—What would the Creature do?
This Week thy Mother means to wash and brew.

Kitty.
Brew then she may her self, or wash, or bake;
I'd leave ten Mothers for one Sweetheart's sake.
O Justice most unjust!—

Filbert.
—O Tyranny!

Kitty.
How can I part?—

Filbert.
—Alas! and how can I?

Kitty.
O rueful Day!—


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Filbert.
—Rueful indeed, I trow.

Kitty.
O Woeful Day!—

Filbert.
—A Day indeed of Woe!

Kitty.
When Gentlefolks their Sweethearts leave behind,
They can write Letters, and say something kind;
But how shall Filbert unto me endite,
When neither I can read, nor he can write?
Yet, Justices, permit us e'er we part
To break this Ninepence, as you've broke our Heart.

Filbert.
[Breaking the Ninepence.
As this divides, thus are we torn in twain.

Kitty.
[Joining the Pieces.
And as this meets, thus may we meet again.
[She is drawn away on one Side of the Stage by Aunt and Grandmother.
Yet one Look more—

Filbert.
[Haul'd off on the other Side by the Sergeant.
—One more e'er yet we go.


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Kitty.
To part is Death.—

Filbert.
—'Tis Death to part.

Kitty.
—Ah!

Filbert.
—Oh!