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The What D'ye Call It

A Tragi-Comi-Pastoral Farce
  
  
  
  
  
  

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SCENE IV.
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SCENE IV.

Peascod, Corporal, Soldiers, Countrymen, Sergeant, Filbert, Dorcas, Joyce.
Peascod.
—Oh! my Sins of Youth!
Why on the Haycock didst thou tempt me, Ruth?

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O save me, Sergeant;—how shall I comply?
I love my Daughter so—I cannot die.

Joyce.
Must Father die! and I be left forlorn?
A lack a day! that ever Joyce was born!
No Grandsire in his Arms e'er dandled me,
And no fond Mother danc'd me on her Knee.
They said, if ever Father got his Pay,
I should have Two-pence ev'ry Market-day.

Peascod.
Poor Child; hang Sorrow, and cast Care behind thee,
The Parish by this Badge is bound to find thee.

[Pointing to the Badge on her Arm.
Joyce.
The Parish finds indeed—but our Church-Wardens
Feast on the Silver, and give us the Farthings.
Then my School-Mistress, like a Vixen Turk,
Maintains her lazy Husband by our Work:
Many long tedious Days I've Worsted spun;
She grudg'd me Victuals when my Task was done.
Heav'n send me a good Service! for I now
Am big enough to wash, or milk a Cow.


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Peascod.
O that I had by Charity been bred!
I then had been much better taught—than fed.
Instead of keeping Nets against the Law,
I might have learnt Accounts, and sung Sol—fa.
Farewell, my Child; spin on, and mind thy Book,
And send thee store of Grace therein to look.
Take Warning by thy shameless Aunt; lest thou
Shouldst o'er thy Bastard weep—as I do now.
Mark my last Words—an honest Living get;
Beware of Papishes, and learn to knit.

[Dorcas leads out Joyce sobbing and crying.