 | The Ivst Italian |  |
Act the second.
Scene the first.
Enter Altamont, Meruolle, Scoperta.Altamont.
I haue receiu'd a mandate from the Duke,
That will (I feare) increase her insolence.
Like an old Tyrant he bestowes his threats;
As if his anger did obay his will,
Not iustice, nor the Lawes.
Meruolle.
Does your wife know
This preparation you haue made to cure
Her haughtinesse?
Altamont.
All is discouerd to
Her care: the newes hath taught her boyle her heart
In her owne blood. She now weepes vineger;
Boasts of reuenge, as if the Thunder were
Her owne.
Meruolle.
T'were fit your pretty Agent heere,
Receiu'd instructions how to shape her garbe
And port, iust as th'imployment doth require.
Altamont.
Her knowledge is already satisfi'd:
Alteza's threats shall onely mooue her scorne.
Scoperta.
I will performe my best in your behalfe;
But I doe feare I am not valiant Sir.
Enter Niente.
Altamont.
O, you! that call your sinnes your duty, that
Niente.
Signior!—
Altamont.
Her honours spittle you preserue
As a Restoratiue for your salt itch
Niente.
I beseech ye—
Altamont.
You thrid in Bracelets too,
The Pearles that drop from her authenticke nose.
Niente.
What meane you Sir?
Altamont.
To cleaue you from the scalpe
Vnto the twist: to make nine skittles of
Your bones, and winde your heratstrings 'bout my thumbe—
Niente.
O mercy Sir! So rotten are my Limmes
That when you stretch your Cheekes and blow on me,
I strait am scatter'd into sand—
Altamont.
Coward!
Creepe strait into my Houreglasse then, and there
Eternally distinguish fatall time—
Enter Alteza.
Alteza.
What slaue disturbs the quiet of my Eare?
Niente steps behinde her.
Niente.
Nere looke Sir! I serue my Lady; and I
Doe scorne to yeeld—
Altamont.
D'ye bristle Porcupine?—
Niente.
Take heed!—I haue the mallady of France—
Alteza.
Stay Altamont! withdraw thy violence!
If thou disorderst but a haire, that doth
Belong to th'Eyebrow of my meanest Groome,
I will proclaime my superioritie
And rule i'th'Streets.
Altamont.
Hell cannot misse thee long!
Alteza.
Insult beneath thy owne low Roose! This part
O'th' House doth call me soueraigne
She spies Scoperta, and comes neere her.
Altamont.
Retire!
Alteza.
Is that the Peece you haue so magnifi'd,
She you boast of for your pastime Royall?
Altamont.
She clips the grey and shiuer'd wings of Time
To make him slow; that our imbraces like
Their length. Let me ingender on thy lips—
Scoperta.
So our progeny may still be kisses—
Altamont.
A meeke and gentle heate, whilst thus we bill
We imitate the sober lust of Doues—
Scopertæ.
That kisse (Sir) was so powerfull and moist,
That you haue robd my Lips of all their wealth!
Altamont.
Take backe thy wealth againe!—
Alteza.
Are ye so hot?—
Altamont.
Thy Lips are thin and lanke (Alteza) as
The Lids that close thine Eyes. Hers gently swell
Like Easterne fruit, and are more soft then is
The fleecy Aire that clothes the Infant Morne.
Alteza.
Pray a word! Is there in this Pagentry
Ought like to truth? Discouer your intent!
Altamont.
I'le make my anger equall vnto thine,
And my reuenge aboue them both. This bright
Auspicious Maid shall gouerne in my bed.
She is my Concubine: the Off spring of
Her wombe shall triumph heere, maugre thy sight:
Whilst enuie does consume thy flesh vntill
Thy bodie lighter grow then thy loose mind.
Alteza.
How well my Starres behaue their influence?
Altamont.
Meruolle, goe! my Mistresse guide vnto
Those lodgings that oreuiew the Garden mount.
Scoperta.
If you retard your presence whilst the Sunne
(In's race) fill vp one Howre, you'le find before
Your next reuiew, that griefe hath made me old,
And I shall looke more like a Matron then
A Bride; so much your absence mortifies.
Altamont.
Thou art to euerie sense I haue, a Spell.
Conduct her strait (Meruolle) to some Throne!
Exeunt Meruolle, Scoperta.
Alteza.
Then are the vowes, the Ecclesiasticke rites
With which the zealous Priest oblig'd vs to
Peculiar heate, to abstinence from change,
And various loue, quite cancell'd by your lust?
Accuse thy pride!
Alteza.
Thou art a periur'd man!
Altamont.
Goe, thou art as light as feathers, or the Aire,
were but an Attome indiuiduall plac'd
With thee in ballance euen, t'would hoise thee vp
To th'Cloudes.
Alteza.
Thy breath is fulsome as that steame
Which Toades when they ingender vaporate.
Altamont.
Alteza, bath in penitentiall teares
Thy leprous heart, or when the Elements
Are mix'd and the sad day ariues, that doomes
The world vnto eternitie of ioy,
Or paine, thou shalt (like to a glimmering Lampe)
Be hung vpon the sootie walles of Hell.
Alteza.
I smile at thee, and thy thinne Arts; like to
Some homelie Village Leuite, thou doest preach
Of terrours strange, to keepe dull faith in awe:
I pray stay; I am not angrie Sir.
Altamont.
No?
Alteza.
I practisd all this while how t'indanger
your spleene (Sir) not my owne which if my powers
Prooue iust, I shall, performe ere long.
Niente, send the partie in—
Exit Niente.
Altamont.
More wrath!
Alteza.
A slow deuice (Sir) but o'my owne Braine.
Enter Sciolto.
Altamont.
Who art thou?
Sciolto.
A keene Guest, inuited heere—
Altamont.
To what?
Scioeto.
To taste—your wiues Gammons.
Altamont.
Bold slaue! be in thy speech more euident.
Sciolto.
I am come to get your children for you.
Alteza.
D'ye want a cleerer paraphrase? He is
My seruant Sir, my stallion if I please.
A Courtly implement, and much in vse
Alta.
O my cold Blood! My patience will be wrought
So low, that I shall learne t'mike a Heifer.
Alteza.
Since I'me so aptly furnish'd with delight,
Your Concubine may fearelesse walke about
The house, and share the wholesome Sunne in peace.
Altamont.
Thy tongue I doe neglect: but you (sir) shall
Ere long complaine of your mortality:
The minutes you must waste on Earth are few.
Sciolto.
This I consider Sir, and therefore make
Such haste to mingle with your wife; that the
Kinde world may haue some issue from my Loynes.
Alta.
If this prooue true, let Babes pisse out my Eyes—
He drawes his sword, Sciolto his, Alteza her stilleto.
Alteza.
Hold Altamont, or else I wound thy heart—
Sciolto.
If you aduance one inch beyond that rush
I'le amble through the Streets, and blow your Dirge
With the great Horne that growes vpon your Brow.
Altamont.
If there be Gall in Heauen, the gen'rall Bagge
Is opned, and it falls in Showres!
Sciolto.
S'light Sir;
I come t'ease the labour of your Body;
And you want courtship to returne me thanks.
Alteza.
Hang him Ingrate!
Sciolto.
But what hereafter I
Performe, shall be for your good Ladies sake,
And not for yours.
Altamont.
Pray (sir) let's interchange
A little breath: withall (if you consent)
We'le put our Swords to a more quiet vse—
Sciolto.
Now Sir, you powre sweet Cassia in my Broath.
My Blood affects to skirmish more
With Ladies then with men. What would you speake?
Altamont.
My true opinion sir concerning you.
I know you doe but countrfeit this Iust,
This lawlesse heate. You purpose not t'abuse
the Charter of my Bed,
Who told ye so?
Altamont.
I read it in your noble feature and
Your lookes. You haue Religion in your shape.
And can it be, you should so soone commit a crime
So much vnwholsome to the Angels sight?
Let me now make a forfeiture of Eyes,
If euer I beheld a man that's more oblig'd
To Nature for his Limmes. A carnall frame
So full of equall strength I neuer saw.
Scioleo.
The better shap'd I am (Sir) the more cause
You'le find, to loue the Issue I shall get
Vpon your wife.
Altamont.
Doe not belie thy owne
True merits and comport! Th'adulterate fire
Did nere inflame thy sober heart, I know
Thou scornst to do't.
Sciolto.
Not I beleeue it Sir!
Sir I will doe't. Is your Lady fruitfull?
I would be loath t'loose my labour on her?
Altamont.
Pestilence! and blood!
He drawes, and they as before.
Alteza.
Fling a danger from
Thy arme, I'le summon strait (with Trumpet and
with Drumme) the world to heare thy infamie—
Sciolto.
O fie! You an Italian Sir, and thus
Behaue the knowledge of disgrace with lowd
And popular dislike?
Alteza.
Nay it becomes
You finelie, does it not?
Sciolto.
You thinke because
Y'are curs'd, we'le allow you short Hornes: I'le graft
Vpon your head a paire so tall, they shall
Goe neere to pricke the verie Planet (Sir)
Thet rul'd at your natiuitie.
Alteza.
He sleepes.
Sciolto.
Signior, goe! take downe a Cushion, and pray!
You cannot choose but know the frailty of
Great Ladies doe relieue their Appetites.
Your owne confession of my parts commends
Your wife in her sage choice. There be that sinne
With feeble vshers and the witherd Dwarfe.
Alteza.
He wants a iudgement to consider this.
Sciolto.
I merit better looks Sir, that must thrash
All night for ye, and without wages Sir!
Alteza.
Dead as a monument! Let vs leaue him!—
Sciolto.
Had he the Deuill for's Physitian chose,
He could nere haue come by the like Cordiall.—
Exeunt Sciolto, Alteza.
Alta.
You swelling mountains (that oreuiew the Earth)
Fall now, make me eternally vnseene!
Philosophie contract thy meeke sage brow:
Let Patience be no more thy Saint. As soone
Giue med'cines to the dead, teach statues how
To walke, and angry windes to sleepe i'th North.
As soone bid emptie Lions play with Kids;
And to the shaggie Scythian say, Goe weepe
As Virgines doe, when their Loues interre:
The blind and shuffled Elements that first
In Chaos stroue, were not so opposite
As this Religious frost vnto my heate.
Patience, thou art more fond then teeming wiues,
Tamer then sseepe! Diuinitie which calls
Our anger sinne, and courage pride, hath sent
This sillie Cherubine on Earth, Patience,
(The Cowards sword) which onlie doth disarme
Dull sleepe, that neither can nor would doe harme.
Exit.
Enter Sciolto, Alteza, Niente.
Sciolto.
Florence knowes me well: I'm call'd Sciolto,
Alteza.
I needs must sing my vshers praise: he made
A most discreete election of a man.
Sciolto.
Your mercie and your kindnesse (Lady) thus
despise your husbands frownes, and I behau'd
My selfe with terrour masculine: but now
We are peculiar and reseru'd, I know
Humilitie, a soft and quiet garbe;
A distance that shall well become the state
So eminent and rich a beauty claimes.
Alteza.
Sir, that we doe expect, and then you shall
Oretake our noble Sense, with newer loue.
Our husband is a trifle, such as can
No way disturbe your peace or safetie heere.
Sciolto.
Madam, store me with armes and weapons to
Resist his personall assault, and I
Shall need no more protection then my selfe.
Alteza.
Actiue and bold! Niente thou hast made
A choice out-parallels the world.
Niente.
Madam,
See his horse vaines: th'are large as Conduit pipes;
His Sinnews are like Cables.
Sciolto.
Las! not mine!
Tis true, that if I like my Opposite,
I haue a tricke te giue an easie fall,
And stand to't stifly too when I ha'done—
Niente.
I will assure your Ladiship, the Bawdes
Giue him good report.
Alteza.
Doe they Niente?
Niente.
He's great with Ladies of all ages, all
Degrees.
Sciolto.
Excuse me Sir, th'are great by me!
Alteza.
As how Sir?
Sciolto.
Madam—They are all wi'child!
Alteza.
How Signior? Is your appetite so strong?
Sciolto.
Blame the humorous Planets that orerule
The blood. Ere yet this present Month expires;
(Let's see—I,!) Some three and forty Ladies
(Or there about) will quicken with male Twinnes.
Alteza.
All of your begetting?
So wise Fame sings.
I will make bold to gather my first fruits—
Goes to kisse her.
Alteza.
Stay my pregnant Signior! Our loue is not
Yet ripe: there is a larger distance too
Belongs vnto our Lips.
Sciolto.
How deare Lady?
Alteza.
I am too proud to haue my fauours soone
and easilie conferr'd. Such smiles are cheape.
I meane to procreate by prescription Sir,
Make my lust as physicall as my meales.
Sciolto.
Death, I'm Sutor vnto Gallens widdow!
Madam, I know it not becomes the high
Demeanure of your birth to dance (iust like
A Kid) to th'musicke of each wind that blowes.
Ere you admit of dalliance I should vse
Some industry of Tongue, and flexure of
the pliant Ioints, to court and wooe consent.
Alteza.
And can your rudenesse couet then where your
Safe wit and knowledge warnes your abstinence?
Sciolto.
Only a little t'recreate the Chine—
Alteza.
Keepe backe, if you'le continue life. When I
Am pleasd to be delighted Sir, I can
command the function of your Limmes.
Charintha
within.
Madam!
Alteza.
Sister, I come. Throw him to his chamber—
Sciolto.
Hast no good booke, whose comfortable vse
may fill th'expence of time?
Alteza.
What would you read?
Sciolto.
Any o'th Moderns. Rablays i'th praise of
Midwiues. Aretine on copulation.
Or th'Odes of Theophile vnto his whore.
Alteza.
My Vsher in my closet can appoint
Your choice of these.
Sciolto.
Thinke on the frailtie of
The flesh; and be not long vnmercifull—
Charintha
within.
Sister! Madam!
Alteza.
Away; I come, I come.
Exeunt Niente, Sciolto:
Charintha.
The Millaine Count (my Sutor) is ariu'd.
Alteza.
Signior Dandolo! Why 'tis yet a month
Ere he should meet your expectation heere.
Besognia.
Tis he Madam, and such a he as must
Be onely likened to himselfe.
Charintha.
More rich,
And gaudie then the East. So lib'rall too,
That you would thinke he Natures Steward were.
He giues amongst my slaues, as if vnto
Embassadours he did cast Donatiues.
Alteza.
Milke him (my Charintha) oft I haue preach'd
Vnto thine Eare a sou'raigntie ore man.
Take all he giues, it's princely fashion now.
Could but thy acceptation begger him,
Thy little wit were euer magnifi'd.
Charintha.
You know I am o'th'wits, I haue bin sworne
To begger Sutors, and ieere my husband.
Enter Florello in rich habit. Rossa, Molard, shifted like his seruants.
Florello.
Which is the Ladie that I come to wooe?
Charintha.
My name's Charintha—
Florello.
Present me thy Lips!
I say aduance—
Alteza.
You are not vnderstood—
He kisses Charintha, then giues her a Iewell.
Charintha.
My Lord, I scarcely owne desert enough
T'intice this Iewell from your Cabinet.
Florel.
A Stone, a Stone! the thing growes, I'ue enow—
Alteza.
So free? I am Charintha's Sister Sir—
Florello.
It may be so. A fine house, fine Towne too!
Were Florence mine, I would not giue it for
The best winter Seate my father left me.
Alteza.
Tis Sir, th'ambition of my loue, that you
Would know me for Charintha's Sister!—
I shall. Rossa, remember it!
Rossa.
My Lord!
Florello.
I must know her for Charintha's Sister.
Charintha.
Is there no tricke in ceremonie Sir,
To giue your memorie a better hint?
Florello.
Kisse none but thee! A deuice i'th'blood! but
Princes haue one toy or other still, t'make
Their descent knowne.—There, a Diamond that,
And that a Ruby.—
Giues to Alteza.
Alteza.
What meanes your Lordship?
Florello.
Th'are none of mine. I haue enow, weare em—
Alteza.
Your Lordship binds my great acknowledgement.
I'th leasure of a winke, he'le giue away
An Empire.
Besognia.
I'm Charintha's woman Sir—
Florello.
Who can helpe it? Mistresse, wilt thou not bid
My seruants welcome? Th'are rich Choughs, th'aue store
Of Villages, and plough'd Earth.
Charintha.
Their iudgment is
So kind (Sir) as to know they may command
The house.
Rossa, Molard.
We thanke your Ladiship.
Florello.
This is my Parasite, and this my Pimpe.
I'ue a Foole, a Dwarfe too at home. I made
My iaunt too early by a month, or else
My Traine had beene enlarg'd.
Alteza.
Th'are rarely fix'd,
If they import as much as you denominate.
Florello.
I keepe my parasite to cure the dull
Melancholy of State. He does admire
My wit and Beard. He sayes I cannot sinne.
Princes would still be sad but for such worrmes.
Alteza.
But how (Sir) does your Pimpe adhere to vse?
Florello.
He is as pertinent to Lords as Iust.
My Foole I keepe to laugh at me. My Dwarfe
Is for my wife. I doe intend she shall
Affect the Court, and then she'le quickly learne.
Charintha.
My Lord, be pleasd
To walke, and vse th'aduantage of the Aire.
Florello.
I'ue Instruments distinct, that take a charge
O'th seuerall quarters of my Frame, My Dwarfe
Doth dresse me vp vnto the knees, and when
His stature leaues his reach, young Virgines then
(Th'issue of decay'd Barons) do beginne
And gouerne to the Nauell. Whilst vpwards
Barbars, Painters, and Parasites are vs'd.
Charin.
But will your Lordship walke and see the spring?
We haue a Garden where it euer dwels.
Florello.
And shall we be delighted and entranc'd?
Charintha.
We'le sacrifice the vtmost of our wealth
And loue, t'expresse your welcome Sir.
Florello.
Wilt'I faith.
There's a Saphyre Chaine: Tie thy Monkie in't—
Take it; for by this hand I am in haste
And cannot offer twice.
Besognia.
If you should chance
(My honourd Lord) to drop those trifles heere,
I would be mannerly, and reach'em vp.
Florello.
I will giue thee a Bushell of Seed-Pearle
To imbroider thy Petticoate.
Charintha.
This way—
Rossa.
Your Lordship hath forgot to leaue notice for
Those Princes in diguise that shall by chance
Demand ye at the gate.
Alteza.
Who does he meane?
Florello.
A leash of Germane Dukes that walke in Rugge.
I should consult with 'em 'bout subuersion
Of a State or two; but I'm not yet at
Leasure.
Alteza.
My Lord, they shall be answerd so.
Rossa.
Your hypocrisie wants a little Art.
Molard.
Your bounty will impouerish vs too soone.
Florello.
Ye both doe lie, I weaue my cunning close.
Thou wilt (if thou art partiall now and kind)
But winke on me, though to the world th'art blind.
Exeunt omnes.
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