University of Virginia Library



Act the first.

Scene the first.

Enter Meruolle, Altamont.
Meruolle.
This puzles my beliefe: the sickly Moone
Hath not yet twice expir'd her vsuall change
Since you did mingle Soules, and can it be
That she so soone recoyles from grace
Harmonious quiet of your bed?

Altamont.
My Deare
Meruolle she is lost: As well may I
Collect the scatter'd windes into a bagge,
Or from the watry surface scrape the gilt
Reflections of the Sunne, as bring her heart
Within the quiet list of wiues that will
Obay and loue.

Meruolle.
Can the Duke (her Vnkle)
Giue an encouragement to her reuolt,
Maintaine the females Charter 'gainst the male?

Altamont.
Him, and his supreame title she still names
To iustifie the glory of her birth,
And then recites the Vilages and wealth,
She brought to me for dowre, in parallell
With what I formerly possess'd, she doth


Affront my memorie with stories of
My leane and niggard fate, and vrging then
Her vast supplies, doeth challenge leaue to call
Her pride and rigour iust.

Meruolle.
This griefe is of
Sad quality!

Altamont.
The heart hangs heauie on
The strings, when it alone containes the cause
And knowledge of its weight: for troubled windes
In their dispersion loose their strength; so griefes,
Whilst th'are reueal'd, diminish from themselues.
But the calamities, that doe perplex
The Nuptiall bed, are of a propertie
Recluse, and must be hidden euen from friends:
For on such secrets Fame doeth feede with fierce,
And meagre appetite; and as swift Fame
Doeth trauaile with them, they increase. So much
Comerce I haue with humane Arts, that I
Can steepe my Gall in my owne teares; and make
That salt which she intended bitter; Shew
Her crime to spring, not from poyson'd mallice,
But from the feminine mistakes of wit:
For moderne Courts now preach, wit doeth reside
In Ladies subtle riots, and their pride.

Enter Florello, Rossa, Molard; in souldierly meane habits.
Meruolle.
Behold your brother (sir) whose safe returne,
This morne I mention'd to your eare—

Altamont.
Thy growth
Hath so orereach'd my sight, that I'm estrang'd
To my best blood: and but, thy figure in
My heart I weare (by which my memory's
Enform'd) I should not know I had thee heere—

Florello.
I reckon this the chiefe delight I haue
Receiu'd on Earth. And (sir) your loue is of
Such sou'raigne qualitie, a little soone


Will ouercharge my sense. Giue but a part
To me, the rest conferre vpon my friends—
Who, though in witherd habits, doe deserue,
Societie with Kings: for neuer yet,
Did bolder Souldiers listne to the Drumme.

Altamont.
Gentlemen, ye shall enrich my knowledge—

Rossa:
Noble Signior, vnprofitable loue
Is all our wealth—

Molard.
But wee'le contriue our selues
For your best vse.—

Florello.
I'ue sayd, consider them
Within; their weedes are ouergrowne and cheape.

Altamont.
Brother (how ere wise fate may answere it)
Me thinks, these your owne robes are not o'th right
Tyrian dy; nor hath the rich weight of your
Tall Plume the Estridge rob'd of both her winges.

Florello.
Euen thus (sir) poore, and with small victory
Am I return'd from our cast Troopes. Our pay
Rests in Areres, and Pisa's lost: But you
(I heare) haue fond a Iewell, that containes
All price and lustre; and you doe weare it
In your bosome: (a noble wife) whose birth
And beautie, are alike vnuallu'd as
Her dowre. This I encounterd on
The Lips of Fame; and I made haste to share
In your successe, and put your bounty to
The test.

Altamont.
Florello, I haue lost my sleepe.
Things differ much from the sinceritie
Of their first growth: Alteza hath forgot
Th'allegiance of a wife, she doth practise
How with her riot to impouerish States,
And by her loftie pride, to iustifie
The immortalitie of flesh: This Theame
Is sad; but I will giue you cause t'expect
The vtmost strength and power of my reliefe.

Florello.
You teach my feeble wants a confidence.



Altamont.
If you a while obscure your selfe (for feare
Your pouertie increase her scorne) you shall
Performe a rationall request. Our young
Faire Sister, is conceald for the same cause.

Florello.
Your mention doth anticipate my loue.
Is our faire Sister well?

Altamont.
Shee doth enioy
Rare beautie, and much health.

Meruolle.
I heare your wife.

Alta.
You and your friends, moue backe, and be not seene.

Enter Alteza, Charintha, Niente.
Alteza.
Trie Signior Allidore, Antonio's sonne:
Vtruuio, or the rich Pirracco.
Gritalin, or old Contarini of
Placentia—

Niente.
Madam, your husband hath
Protested 'gainst your credit, euen to these.

Alte.
Slaue, goe force an answere more delightfull.

Niente.
I obay you Madam.

exit.
Alteza.
Is't come to this?
I'le be a crooked Spinster first, and with
My spittle and my flaxe procure my bread.

Altamont.
What is the cause my Princesse thus delights
In frownes? Anger sits on her brow like age.

Alteza.
Hence, I see thee, and my eyes shrinke into
My skull: the Rauen's not so ominous
and blacke.

Altamont.
Yet vrge the cause (my Loue) why your
Defiance is so violent and lowd?

Alte.
A Millainois shew'd me to day for sale,
Bright and spacious Iewels; but in the darke,
Your pusill malice hath betrai'd my faith,
With Merchants. You haue now my credit wrought
So low, and cheape; I cannot stand deposd
For th'triuiall loane of fortie thousand crownes.



Altamont.
I would suruay a list of all your wants,
That I may so haue power to hasten the
Redresse: Doe you dislike your properties
Of house, your Vestments, or seruice of your
Table; Giue but a name vnto thy wish?

Alteza.
I would haue my Orchard—pau'd with Aggats.

Altamont.
O, and your garden walls rais'd high, t'hedge in
Paraquetos, and th'rhetoricall Dawe?

Altera.
Thou hast a rude heart, and a blisterd tongue!

Charintha.
Well, the first day of your coniunction Sir,
I little thought you would haue vsd her thus.

Meruolle.
Charintha's become her Sisters Pupill.

Florello.
And I perceiue a masculine itch beneath
Her left eye; she longs to taste man.

Altamont.
Come Loue,
Be gentle as thy bridall smiles: for by
Thy selfe I sweare, my speech did purpose nought,
To tempt thy spleene. Lend me thy melting hand!

Alte.
There—'tis to reach backe the heart I gaue ye—

Altamont.
You spirits that secure the propertie
Of humane loue, be still officiall heere!
Why should we not for euer thus remaine,
Incorporate, and conioyn'd. Tis sympathie,
And loue, that giues the world continuance
And life. Each species Loue preserues. Tis loue
That makes th'eternall Wisedome thus forbeare
The silly crimes of dull humanitie:
And suffers vs, like each delighted flie,
To play the triuiall wantons in his eye.

Alteza.
You preach of loue, but your obedience would
More pleasure me.

Altamont.
This argues thy reuolt!
And is a stratagem against nature.
Thou wouldst vsurpe the Charter of the male
Tis my confession, that thy dowre was vaste
And opulent, and such as may support
Thy titles, and thy birth, with all the pride


And cunning of magnificence. Let my
Sincere phrase instruct thy heart. Reassume
The blushes of thy youth; with timerous
Modestie behaue thy gesture and thy tongue,
And then, thou shalt stand vp exemplary
To all triumphant Courts: the enuie of
The Easterne Queenes: th'Astrologers mistake,
Who shall direct their Opticks vnto thee,
As to a new and vnknowne Starre.

Alteza.
Sister!—

Altamont.
The small Musitions of the aire (whom Queenes
With mimicke falconrie doe pearch vpon
Their fists) shall be thy food. Thy maides shall eate
Young Pelicanes, and Squirils hearts.

Alteza.
Exc'lent!

Altamont.
Thy beuiridge shall be propheticke, and
Diuine; for thou shalt drinke that sou'raigne dew,
That hangs vpon the frighted Lillies cheeke,
And brew'd with Syrens teares, such as they shed
In reall obsequies.

Alteza.
O bounteous Sir!—

Altamont.
The soft entraile o'th Persian worme, th'Ermines
Pale fur, shall cloth thy limmes.

Alteza.
More precious still!

Altamont.
Those gums and spices which the Arabian bird,
Collects to make her tragicke piles, shall be
Thy winter fewell.

Alteza.
Prettie Sir, proceed!

Alta.
Thou shalt haue Marmasets, and Dwarfs, the male
And female too, to procreate in thy house;
That thy delights may euer be renew'd.
Thy Iewels shall increase, as if the lou'd
Indies were thy Quarrie. Th'Almightie Sunne
Shall rise, and see a nobler day breake from
Thy Cabinet, then yet the illustrious East
Ere knew.

Alteza.
But how will you performe these hopes?



Altamont.
The miracle, and power, doe both consist,
In my large wealth.

Alteza.
Death on my Tribe! Your wealth?

Altamont.
I, my sweet Loue.

Alteza.
Your wealth?

Altamont.
This iteration
Scarce will delight, if it be negatiue.

Alteza.
Canst thou persist in such accursed schisme?

Altamont.
Did you not then intend, when you endow'd
Me with your wealth, that I should call it mine?

Alteza.
By heauen not I. I forfeited the loue
O'th'great Duke (my Vnkle) to marry thee;
That wert a thing shrunke from thy fate, and lost
Vnto the lippes and eyes of men; but yet
In most assured hope, that thou wouldst prooue,
An humble and obedient husband.

Altamont.
Th'art more impudent, then the Basiliske,
Who stares i'th blessed face of man, vntill
He kill him with his eyes.

Alteza.
Heare Altamont!
For I will giue solemnitie vnto
A vow, that shall for euermore, diuide
Thee from my bed—

Meruolle.
Deare Madam hold! Each fence
Of mine doth blush, that can perceiue, your wild,
Rebellious wrath. Hath not the Church nam'd him
Your husband, and your Lord?

Alteza.
M'opinions of
The Church, I'le tell to'th Conclaue, not to you—

Altamont.
Is this the helpe, Diuinitie gaue man?
Snuffe the Moone, she burnes dimme. The Spheares are now
Ill tun'd, and aged nature backward reeles.

Alteza.
Thy anger's vaine. Heere I doe banish thee
My bed: And we will neuer more embrace.

Altamont.
Rebellious fiend.

Alteza.
I now diuide my house:
This side is mine, with the dimensions that


Dependance haue on this square frame: for heere
My familie and I will rule. That side
You, and your meagre ragged traine possesse.
Thou mayst hencefoorth my neighbour, but no more
My husband be. Charintha, come away—

Altamont.
I must pursue, lest she her anger make
Too lowd, so we inuite the publike scorne.

Exeunt Alteza, Charintha: Altamont.
Meruolle.
Is not thy brothers wife a pure tame henne?
How dost thou like her noyse?

Florello.
Were she but mine,
I'ld teach her keepe a noyse too after death.

Meruolle.
How so?

Florello.
I'ld strippe her skinne o're her eares and
Make a drumme on't.

Rossa.
She was borne in a storme!

Molard.
And begot sure with the Boeswayns whistle.

Florello.
Meruolle, you haue nam'd Charintha,
As a precious Virgine, of nature most
Remisse, a quiet tongue, and such a heart,
As might become an able sacrifice,
T'expiate the whole world?

Meruolle.
This I esteem'd
My iustice on her merits, but it seemes
Her Sisters documents ore rule her now.
Her dowry is of ample rate, and may
Deserue the chiefe of our Italian youth.

Florello.
What's Dandalo, that sues to her for loue?

Meruolle.
Dandalo, the Count of Millaine? A thing
Composd of spicery and starch! Nature
Contriu'd him in her sleepe. If's ignorance
Might answere for his sinnes; he would accompt
Amongst his wealth, the land he has in Heauen.

Florello.
I heard you say, she neuer saw him yet.

Meruolle.
Neuer Sir: He wooes her by his letters.
She desiring a personall suruay
Ere prosecution of the sute, he sent


Her word, he'ld make's addresse by stealth; but we
Expect him not ere'th'birth of the next Moon.

Florello.
Will his ariuall be so long delay'd?—
Brother!—How thriues your patience ore your wife?

Alta.
Some Philosophicke hope remaines: the storme
Can't last, because 'tis still more violent.
Sh'ath tane Caroch for the Pallace, and meanes
Straite to disgrace me to the Duke
By her complaints.

Meruolle.
Her vaines oreflow with Gall!

Altamont.
Florello, I desire thou'lt not appeare
Before her eye, vntill thy habit's chang'd.
My present power summes but a thousand crownes,
Which I haue brought, and prostrate to thy vse—

Giues him a Bagge.
Florello.
Sir it is fit your blessings were encreasd;
And that your wife had read your worth.

Altamont.
My Art betrayes my hopes, or I haue found
A remedy to cure her pride: your helpe
Meruolle, I must craue, and with swift speed:

Exeunt Altamont, Meruolle.
Florello.
Rossa, Molard, (friends to my Soule and Braine)
Aduance your subtle Eyes! The sou'raigne mine
Behold, that makes the solemne Patriarke dance,
And the anointed King to skippe, as doth
His limber Dwarfe.

Rossa.
Yellow as foot of Kite!

Molard.
Shall we be tender natur'd, and diuide?

Florello.
This is the portion will procure vs all
High dignitie and place. Rossa, you must
Find cause to number these—Goe, ransome out
Our captiue weedes, and the rich habit I
From Pisa brought: whilst you (Mollard) with the
Assistance of these few—procure vs fit
Materials to adorne, and put in bright
Aspect our Corps. Enquire for Pearles! Stones of
The cunningst soyle, we'le like them, and disburse.



Rossa.
Is there some aged vessell now asleepe
In the Docke, that will pay for her calking?

Molard.
Florello, must we stop the publike leakes?

Florello.
Ere long we shall be great, be able to
Aduance with smiles, and with our frownes destroy.
You Rossa, I'le create a Magistrate.
Goe practise the austeere Cough. Pale dilinquents
Thou shalt learne to ieere, and to sleepe ore men
Condemn'd.

Rossa.
The calling (Sir) I doe vouchsafe.

Florello.
Thou (my Molard) shalt rule in Villages,
Grow popular, and mistake the Lawes. Thou shalt
Delight i'th Kallender: the Rubricke dayes
Thou shalt obserue, and then destroy thy beefe.
Whilst thy dull earthie Tennants feede vntill
They smell.

Molard.
My Launcepresado then shall sop
His Crust in Cyder and in wine!

Rossa.
And my
Dread Corporall shall sinne no more for Leekes,
His Girdle and his socks he shall vnpawne.

Florello.
The solitarie Hostesse shall no more
Boyle the Carion meate that she must trust,
In her owne teares; Nor with a Requiem bring
The seruice vp, as if it were the Haunch
Of her dead Husband.

Rossa.
I am intire flame!

Florello.
The Geographicke Captaine shall no more
Studie the Towne Mappe, that's darke walkes may be
Contriu'd through slender Allies and through Lanes,
To scape his hungrie Creditors abroade.

Rossa.
Thy Prouince is Chaldea, thy Father
Was a Rabby!

Molard.
And thy Aunt a Sybill!

Florello.
These are the victories of wit: by wit
We must atchieue our hopes; which to refine
And purifie, with paces doubled let's


Descend a Marble vault, there taste the rich
Legitimate blood of the mighty Grape.
Tis precious as the milke of Queenes; such as
Would teach dull Saturne laugh. It magnifies
The heart, and makes the a gill spirits dance,
It drownds all thoughts adulterate and sad;
Inspires the Prophet, makes the Poet glad.

Exeunt omnes.