 | The Humorous Lieutenant |  |
Scæne 4.
Enter Antigonus, Tymon, Lords, and a Souldier.Ant.
No face of sorrow for this losse? 'twill choake him,
Nor no man misse a friend, I know his nature
So deep imprest with griefe, for what he has suffer'd,
That the least adding to it, adds to his ruine;
His losse is not so infinite, I hope Souldier.
Soul.
Faith neither great, nor out of discretion,
The young men out of heate.
Enter Demetrius, Leontius, and Lieutenant.
Ant.
I ghesse the manner.
Lord Men.
The Prince and't like your Grace—
Ant.
You are welcome home sir;
Come, no more sorrow, I have heard your fortune,
And I my self haue tride the like: cleare up man,
I will not have ye take it thus; if I doubted.
Your feare had lost; and that you had turn'd your back to 'em,
Basely besought their mercies—
128
No, no, by this hand sir,
We fought like honest and tall men.
Antig.
I know't Leontius; or if I thought
Neglect of rule, having his councell with ye,
Or too vaine-glorious appetite of fame,
Your men forgot, and scatter'd.
Leo.
None of these sir,
He shew'd himselfe a noble gentleman,
Every way apt to rule.
Ant.
These being granted;
Why should you think you have done an act so hainous,
That nought but discontent dwells round about ye?
I have lost a Battaile.
Leo.
I, and fought it hard too.
Ant.
With as much meanes as man—
Leo.
Or devill could urge it.
Ant.
Twenty to one of our side now.
Leo.
Turne Tables,
Beaten like dogs againe, like Owles, you take it
To hart for flying but a mile before 'em,
And to say truth, 'twas no flight neither sir,
'T was but a walke, a handsome walke,
I have tumbl'd with this old body, beaten like a stock-fish,
And stuck with arrowes, like an arming Quiver,
Blouded and bang'd, almost a day before 'em,
And glad I have got off then. Here's a mad shaver,
He fights his share I am sure, when ere he comes to't;
Yet I have seen him trip it tithely too,
And cry the devill take the hindmost ever.
Lieu.
I learn'd it of my betters.
Leo.
Boudge at this?
Ant.
Has fortune but one face?
Lieu.
In her best vizard,
Me thinks she looks but lowzily.
Ant.
Chance, though she faint now,
And sink below our expectations,
Is there no hope left strong enough to boy her?
Dem.
'Tis not this day, I fled before the enemie,
And lost my people, left mine honour murder'd,
My mayden honour, never to be ransom'd,
(VVhich to a noble soule is too too sencible)
Afflicts me with this sadnesse; most of these,
Time may turne straight againe, experience perfect,
And new swords, cut new wayes to nobler fortunes.
O I have lost—
Ant.
As you are mine forget it:
I doe not think it losse.
Demet.
O sir, forgive me,
I have lost my friends, those worthy soules bred with me,
I have lost my selfe, they were the pieces of me;
I have lost all Arts, my Schooles are taken from me,
Honour and Armes, no emulation left me:
I liv'd to see these men lost, look'd upon it;
These men that twin'd their loves to mine, their vertues,
O shame of shames, I saw, and could not save 'em,
This carries sulphure in't, this burnes and boyles me,
And like a fatall Tombe bestrides my memorie.
Antig.
This was hard fortune, but if alive, and taken,
They shall be ransom'd, let it be at Millions.
Dem.
They are dead, they are dead.
Lieu.
VVhen would he weep for me thus?
I may be dead, and powder'd.
Leo.
Good Prince, grieve not:
VVe are not certaine of their deaths: the enemy,
Though he be hot, and keene,
Yet holds good Quarter.
VVhat noyse is this?
Great Shout within, Enter Gentlemen.
Lieu.
He doe's not follow us?
Give me a steeple top.
Leo.
They live, they live sir.
Ant.
Hold up your manly face;
They live, they are here, Son.
Dem.
These are the men.
1 Gent.
They are, and live to honour ye.
Dem.
How scap't ye noble friends? me thought I saw ye
Even in the jawes of death.
2. Gent.
Thanks to our folly,
That spurr'd us on; we were indeed hedg'd round in't,
And ev'n beyond the hand of succour beaten,
Unhors'd, disarm'd: and what we lookt for then sir,
Let such poore weary soules that heare the Bell knoll,
And see the grave a digging, tell.
Dem.
For heaven sake
Delude mine eyes no longer: how came ye off?
1. Gent.
Against all expectation: the brave Seleucus,
I thinke this day enamour'd on your vertue,
VVhen, through the Troops, he saw ye shoot like lightning;
And at your manly courage all tooke fire,
And after that, the miserie we fell too,
The never-certaine fate of war considering,
As we stood all before him, fortunes ruines,
Nothing but death expecting, a short time
He made a stand upon our youths and fortunes,
Then with an eye of mercy inform'd his judgement,
How yet unripe we were, unblowne, unhardend,
Unfitted for such fatall ends; he cryed out to us,
Goe Gentlemen, commend me to your Master,
To the most high, and hopefull prince Demetrius,
Tell him the valour that he showed against me
This day, the virgin valour, and true fire
Deserves, even from an Enemie, this courtesie;
Your lives and Armes freely I'le give 'em: thanke him,
And thus we are return'd Sir.
Leo.
Faith 'twas well done;
'Twas bravely done; was't not a noble part Sir?
Lieu.
Had I been there up had I gone, I am sure on't;
These noble tricks, I never durst trust 'em yet.
Leo.
Let me not live, and't were not a famed honestie,
It takes me such a tickling way: now would I wish heaven,
But ee'n the happines, ee'n that poore blessing
For all the sharp afflictions thou hast sent me,
But ee'n i'th' head o'th' field to take Seleucus.
I should doe something memorable: fie, sad still.
1. Gent.
Doe you grieve we are come off?
Dem.
Unransom'd, was it?
2. Gent.
It was sir.
Dem.
And with such a fame to me?
Said ye not so?
Leo.
Ye have heard it.
Dem.
O Leontius,
Better I had lost 'em all: my selfe had perished,
And all my fathers hopes,
Leo.
Mercy upon ye,
VVhat ayle ye Sir? 'death, doe not make fooles on's,
Neither goe to Church, nor tarry at home,
That's a fine Horne-pipe?
Ant.
VVhat's now your griefe Demetrius?
Dem.
Did he not beat us twice?
Leo.
He beate a pudding;
Beate us but once.
Dem.
Has beate me twice, and beat me to a coward,
129
Lieu.
Is not the devill in him?
Leo.
I pray it be no worse.
Dem.
Twice conquer'd me.
Leo.
Bear witnesse all the world, I am a dunce here.
Dem.
With valour first he strook me, then with honour;
That stroak Leontius, that strook, do'st thou not feele it?
Leo.
Where abouts was it? for I remember nothing yet.
Dem.
All these gentlemen
That were his prisoners—
Leo.
Yes, he set 'em free sir,
With Armes and honour.
Dem.
There, there, now thou hast it;
At mine owne weapon, Courtesie, h'as beaten me,
At that I was held a Master in, he has cow'd me,
Hotter then all the dint oth' fight he has charg'd me:
Am I not now a wretched fellow? think on't;
And when thou hast examin'd all wayes honourable,
And find'st no doore left open to requite this,
Conclude I am a wretch, and was twice beaten.
Ant.
I have observ'd your way, and understand it,
And equall love it as Demetrius,
My noble childe thou shalt not fall in vertue,
I and my power will sink first: you Leontius,
Wait for a new Commission, ye shall out againe,
And instantly: you shall not lodge this night here,
Not see a friend, nor take a blessing with ye,
Before ye be ith'field: the enemy is up still,
And still in ful dnsigne: Charge him againe, Son,
And either bring home that againe thou hast lost there,
Or leave thy body by him.
Dem.
Ye raise me,
And now I dare look up againe, Leontius.
Leo.
I, I, sir, I am thinking who we shall take of 'em,
To make all straight; and who we shall give toth' devill.
VVhat saist thou now Lieutenant?
Lieu.
I say nothing.
Lord what aile, I, that I have no minde to fight now?
I finde my constitution mightily alter'd
Since I came home: I hate all noises too,
Especially the noise of Drums; I am now as well
As any living man; why not as valiant?
To fight now, is a kinde of vomit to me,
It goes against my stomack.
Dem.
Good sir, presently;
You cannot doe your Son, so faire a favour.
Ant.
'Tis my intent: Ile see ye march away too;
Come, get your men together presently, Leontius,
And presse where please you, as you march.
Leo.
VVe goe sir.
Ant.
VVait you on me, Ile bring ye to your command,
And then to fortune give you up.
Dem.
Ye love me.
Ext.
Leo.
Goe, get the drums, beat round, Lieutenant.
Lieu.
Harke ye, sir,
I have a foolish businesse they call marriage.
Leo.
After the wars are done.
Lieu.
The partie staies sir,
I have giv'n the Priest his money too: all my friends sir,
My father, and my mother.
Leo.
VVill you goe forward?
Lieu.
She brings a pretty matter with her.
Leo.
Halfe a dozen Bastards.
Lieu.
Some fortie sir.
Leo.
A goodly competency.
Lieu.
I meane sir, pounds a year; Ile dispatch the matter,
'Tis but a night or two; Ile overtake ye sir.
Leo.
The 2 old legions, yes: where lies the horse-quarter?
Lieu.
And if it be a boy, Ile even make bold sir.
Leo.
Away with your whore,
A plague o' your whore, you damn'd rogue,
Now ye are cur'd and well; must ye be clicketing?
Lieu.
I have broke my minde to my Ancient, in my absence,
Hee's a sufficient gentleman.
Leo.
Get forward.
Lieu.
Onely receive her portion.
Leo.
Get ye forward;
Else Ile bang ye forward.
Lieu.
Strange sir,
A Gentleman and an officer cannot have the libertie
To doe the office of a man.
Leo.
Shame light on thee,
How came this whore into thy head?
Lieu.
This whore sir?
'Tis strange, a poore whore.
Leo.
Doe not answer me:
Troop, Troop away; doe not name this whore againe,
Or think there is a whore.
Lieu.
That's very hard sir.
Leo.
For if thou dost, look to't, Ile have thee guelded,
Ile walk ye out before me: not a word more.
Ex.
| The Humorous Lieutenant | |