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The Ingoldsby Legends

or, Mirth and Marvels. By Thomas Ingoldsby [i.e. R. H. Barham]

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NURSERY REMINISCENCES.
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100

NURSERY REMINISCENCES.

I remember, I remember,
When I was a little Boy,
One fine morning in September
Uncle brought me home a toy.
I remember how he patted
Both my cheeks in kindliest mood;
“Then,” said he, “you little Fat-head,
There's a top because you're good.”
Grandmamma—a shrewd observer—
I remember gazed upon
My new top, and said with fervour,
“Oh! how kind of Uncle John!”
While mamma, my form caressing,—
In her eye the tear-drop stood,
Read me this fine moral lesson,
“See what comes of being good!”
I remember, I remember,
On a wet and windy day,
One cold morning in December,
I stole out and went to play;

101

I remember Billy Hawkins
Came, and with his pewter squirt
Squibb'd my pantaloons and stockings,
Till they were all over dirt!
To my mother for protection
I ran, quaking every limb:
—She exclaimed, with fond affection,
“Gracious Goodness! look at him!”—
Pa cried, when he saw my garment,
—'Twas a newly-purchased dress—
“Oh! you nasty little Warment,
How came you in such a mess?”
Then he caught me by the collar,
—Cruel only to be kind—
And to my exceeding dolour,
Gave me—several slaps behind.
Grandmamma, while yet I smarted,
As she saw my evil plight,
Said—'twas rather stony-hearted—
“Little rascal! sarve him right!”
I remember, I remember,
From that sad and solemn day,
Never more in dark December
Did I venture out to play.
And the moral which they taught, I
Well remember; thus they said—
“Little Boys, when they are naughty,
Must be whipped and sent to bed!”