 | Puss in Boots |  |
Scene Fifth.
—Gallery in Ogre's Castle.Enter Kitchenstuff with a bundle in his hand.
Kit.
This is an Ogre's gratitude—to be turned away at a
moment's warning, after so many years' service! It serves
me right for being cook to a cannibal. If I know what to do
I'm dished: no respectable quiet family will hire me when
they know where I lived last. And there are so few Ogres
to be found now, that I don't know where to seek another.
What they do with all their relations I can't guess, unless they
eat 'em! I mustn't stay here, however, that's quite clear.
(going)
Enter Puss hastily, at window.
Puss.
Here's somebody at last! Who are you; what are
you; and where are you going?
Kit.
I'm the late cook.
Puss.
What, are you dead?
Kit.
No—I'm the late cook of this establishment; I'm
discharged.
Puss.
Serve you right, a cook should never be late.
Where are you going.
Kit.
On a voyage of discovery—in search of a new
place.
Puss.
You Cooks are always going on voyages of discovery.
What's your name?
Kit.
Kitchenstuff.
Puss.
Kitchen nonsense!—you don't mean that?
Kit.
No, I mean Kitchen-stuff.
Puss.
And what's your master's name?
Kit.
Killmany O'Gobble Killmore.
Puss.
What a horrible name! What is he?
Kit.
An Ogre.
Puss.
A what?
Kit.
An Ogre.
Puss.
I say, which is the way out?
Kit.
The way I'm going.
Puss.
Stop a moment. I must know something about this
Ogre?
Kit.
Yes; a great Irish Ogre.
Puss.
What! one of those fellows that eat naughty little
girls and boys?
Kit.
Like oysters, by the dozen!
Puss.
The Cannibal! and what has he discharged you
for?
Kit.
A mere nothing. Just because a young blockhead
that I dressed for his dinner yesterday had no brains. Was
that my fault?
Puss.
Certainly not! If I'd been his cook I'd have
poison'd him!
Kit.
I had a great mind, but was afraid of making a
mess of it.
Puss.
I've a great mind to try for the place, and do it
now.
Kit.
You'd have the thanks of the whole island if you
succeeded, and there's millions of money in his strong
chest.
Puss.
Then if his stomack isn't stronger than his chest,
I will.
Kit.
I should tell you, he wears a magic ring.
Puss.
Which protects him?
Kit.
I don't know that it exactly does that; but they say
he can change himself into whatever animal he likes with it.
Puss.
Aha! Then I spy another chance.
(Ogre roars
within)
What the devil's that?
Kit.
That's he roaring. He's got the gout, and is
boiling over with pain and passion. Let him stand till he's
cool; then stir him gently; put in a spice of flattery, by
way of seasoning, and serve him out as quickly as possible.
Puss.
I'll risk one of my nine lives in this venture.
A cat is sure upon his legs to fall;
And so, my worthy friend, here goes at all.
Kit.
Farewell We may no more each other see!
Puss.
The Fates avert such a catastrophe!
(Embrace—scratches Cook, who runs off—exit Puss)
| Puss in Boots | |