University of Virginia Library

Tertia sena

Enter Idlenis
Ah sirra it is an old prouerb & a true
I sware by the roode
it is an il wind: that bloues no man to good
when I had brought wit
into wantonnis hampering
then thought I it was time for me
to be tempering
the cook is not so sone gone
as the doges hed is in the porig pot
wit was not so sone a sleepe
but my hand was in his hose
wantonis is a drab
for the nonce she is an old rig
but as for me my fingeres are as good as alme twic
now am I nue araid like a phesitien
now doe I not pas
I am as reddy to cog wt h m̄ wit as euer I was
I am as very aturncote as the wethercoke
of poles
for now I will calle my name due
disporte fit for all soules ye
se so findly I can turne the catt in the pan
now shall you heare how findly master doctor
can play the out landish man
ah by got me be the doctor
me am the fine knaue I tell ye
me haue the good medicine for the maidens belly
me haue the excellent medicine
for the blaines & blister
ah me am the knaue
to giue the faire maid the glister
how like you this my masteres
the bee haue no so many harbees
whereout to suck hony
as I can find shiftes whereby to get mony

Enter Snach and Catch
Idlenis
but soft a while my masteres
who haue we heare
these be crafty knauees
& therefore lie thou there

lay doune the purse in a cornor
The song that Snach and Catch singeth to gether

catch
hey liuely by the gutees of a crab louse Snach
this is an excellent sporte
now we are come from flushin to the English port
there shall not a fat pouch
come nodding by the way
but snach & Catch will desier him to stay

Snatch
yea by the hodges hed Catch
now we will lick the spicketes
but by the masse my hose be full
of spanish cricketes
sirra dost thou not knowe Idlenis
that counterfait knaue

Catch
ye by St tane I knowe him well for a knaue
he hath his purse full of mony
if we cold him gett

Snatch
where had he it

Catch
I tell the Snatch he stole it from witt

Snatch
who told the so declare it wt h redinis

Catch
by the braines of ablack pudding
tis such a knaue thou hast not hurde
it was told me of wantonis

here thay espie him
Idlenis
ah that drabe she can cacklel like a Cadowe
I pray you be hold my masteres
aman may shape none by ther shadowe

Snach
o wonderfull I wold he ware burst

Catch
nay I pray the lett me spake first
master Idlenis I am glad to se you
mery hartly

Idlnis
In faith I thaink you [hartily]
but I had rather haue yor rome as yor componie

Snatch
master Idlenis how haue you done in along time

Idlnis
Come come an hand of yor to pick a purse of mine

Catch
nay sir I hope you trust vs better
I must neades borrow yor ring to seale a letter

Idlenis
by my leaue in spite of my teath
god a mercy horse
this is that must neades be
quoth the good man whenn he made his wyfe
pine the baskit patiences perforce
well my masters if you will goe with me
I will carry you to and old wyfe that
makes pudinges wt h her arse hold yor nose thare
and if you will you may haue ledges of
mutton stufte with heare

Catch
this is a craftie fox but by a herring toke
I haue agood nose to be a pore mans sowe
I can smell an appell seuen mill in a haye mowe
vbi animus ibi ovulus where he loues there he lookes
hey liuely these will helpe to bring me out of Iohn Tapsteres bookes

Now he shall find the purse
Heere after thay haue scambled for the mony they shall spet in the purse and giue it him a gaine
Snach
hold heare thou shalt not lease all thy purse
shall not come home weeping for lose
and as for the thou shalt be commist
to dawes crosse

Idlenis
Euell gotten worse spent
by thift this mony came
I got it wt h the deuell
& now it is gone wt h his name

Catch
but sirra if we let him escape
per hapes we may haue a checke
If we should chance to looke through & hemp
windowe & our arse brake our necke

Snatch
why we will pull him vp by arope
to the tope of the house
& then lett him fall

Catch
nay then I knowe a better way
we will rune his arse against the wall

Snatch
Nay by the mase I haue a deuise much more mete
where I lay last night I stole away a sheete
we will take this & tie it to his hed
& soe we will blind him
& sirra I charge you when you here any
body comming
If they aske you any question say you goe amuming

Here they turne him aboute and bind his hands behinde him and tye the sheet aboute his face
Idlenis
Amuming quoth you why there can be nothing
worse then for aman to goe amuminge
when he hath no mony in his purse

Catch
well yet we charge you to doe on this fashion

Snatch
fare well m̄ Idlenies & remember yor lesson

Here thay rune one to one cornor of the stage and the other to the [th] other and spake like cuntrymen to begild him
Idelnis
A sirra in faith this geer cottons I go still
amuming
euen poore I all alone wt h out ether pipe
or druming

Snatch
Good day neighbour good day
tis afaire graye morning god be blessed

Catch
I be gis twold be trim wether
& if it were not for this mist
what those fellowes be all day at brakfast
I win thay make feastes
what Iack I say I must zwinge you
before you will serue the beastes
how now godes dageres death whoe
haue we heare

Idlenis
O for the passion of god lose me
false knaues haue robd me of all the
mony I got this yeere

here thay beate him
Snatch
yea ye rascall is the matter so plane
com com we must teach him his
lesson a gaine

Catch
Sirra now you haue learned atrick for yor cuminge
when any body comith say you goe a muminge

Exit Snatch: Cat
Idlenis
Amuminge quoth you why this geer will not settell
ether I rose on my lift side to day or I pist
on anettell
here is nuse the fox when he lett a farte
in the morninge
if wantonis knew this she will neuer lin
scorninge
this same is kind Cuckoldes luck
these fellowes haue giuen me a drie pluck
now I haue neuer a crose to blesse me
now I goe amuming
like a poore pennilesse spirit
wt h out pipe or druming

Enter wit and Honist Recreation a waiting on him
witt
fye fye what kind of life is this
to laboure all in vaine
to toil to gett the thing the wc h
my witt cannot attaine
the Iournie semith wondrous long
the wc h I haue to make
to teare my selfe & beate my braines
& all for wisdomes sake
& it godes knowes what may be fall
& what luck god will send
If she will loue me when I come
at this my Iournyes end
this honest recreation delites me not at all
for when I spend the time wt h him
I bring my selfe in thrall
here he steppeth back haueng espied Idlenis
but softe what haue w heare
some gost or dedly sperrit
that comes our Iourny for to stay
& vs for to affrite

Idlenis
yea by the mas what are ye coming
In faith I am a penilesse spirit
I goe still a muming

Wit
I coniure the to tell me what art thou
aman amonster a spirit or what
woldest thou haue

Idlenis
I am neither man monster nor
spirit but a poore peniles knaue

witt
wherefore is thy comminge/

Idlenis
/ Marry to goe amuming

wit
/ yea but what art thou
may not that be knowen

Idlenis
/ why what am I but a knaue
when all my mony is gone

wit
/ come tell me thy name
I pray the haue done

Idlenis
/ A good honest knauees
haue ye forgot so sone

wit
/ why but will ye not tell me
how thou camest thues drest

Idlenis
/ In faith gentell theaues
you yor selues knowes best

wit
/ doe I why thou dost not know me
the whorson patch

Idlenis
/ yes I knowe it is ether
snatch or Catch
But in faith gentell theues
I goe still amuming
although it be ether
wt h out pipe or druminge

Here shall wit pul of the sheet saying
wit
/ how sayest thou now
canst thou not see
I pray the tell me
dost thou know me

Idlnis
/ o the body of a Gorge
I wold I had them heare
in faith I wold chope them
thay ware not so hack this seuen yeer
why I am so could
that my teeth chater in my hed
I haue stood here iij dayes & iij nights
wt h out ether meate or bread

wit
/ I pray the what is thy name
& whether dost thou resorte

Idlenis
/ for soth for fault of a better
is due disporte

wit
/ didst not the call thy selfe
honist recreation wc h deceued me onces

Idlenis
/ why I am a phesition: If it were I
a knaue shake my bones
I am a greate trauelir
I lite on the dunghill like a puttock
nay take me wt h a lye
& cut out the brane of my buttock

wit
/ If thy name be due disporte
I wold be acquainted wt h the
for in sporte I delight

Idlenis
/ Not vnder a cuppeles of capons
& thay must be white
but if you will be acquainted
wt h me as you say
then must you send this companian
a way
for you & I must walke a lone

wit
/ why then sirra away
gett you gon

Exit Honist Recreation
Idlenis
/ so now come on wt h me
to a frendes house of mine
that there we may to some sport incl[OMITTED]

wit
/ Com on then/

Here Idlenis hauing brought him to the den of Ircksomnes: shall leape away and Ircksomnes enter like a monstor and shall beat downe wit with his cloub saying
Ircksomnis
what wite is that
wc h comes so nere his pane

Here thay fite wit falls doune
wit
/ Alas alas now am I sland

Ircksomnis
/ Nay nay no force thou mightest
a further stood
if thou hadest scape
safe by my dene
thy luck ware to to goo

Exit
Ircksomnis leaueth him dead on the stage
Enter wisdome and sayeth
of late abrode I harde report
that wit makees many vowees
the lady wisdome if he may
[the] to wyfe for to espouse
but it I feare both Idelnis & Ircksomnis
will sonder
soft this same is wit that lieth bleading
yonder
Heere she helpeth him vp
what wit be of good cheare
& now I will sustaine the

wit
/ o Lady wisdome so I wold
but Ircksomnis hath slaned me

wisdome
/ well yet arise & doe as I shall tell
and then I warrant the
thou shalt doe [d] well

wit
/ I thaink you much & though that I
am very much a greaued
yet sence yor coming sure my thinkes
I am right well releued
you showe yor courtesie herein
wherein I partly gesse
that you doe knowe the cause
right well
of this my deepe distresse
my father bad me labour still
yor [fathe] fauore to obtaine
but it before I could you see
full greate hath bin my paine
first Idlenis he brought me wo
then wantonies stept in
& last of all foule Ircksomns
his parte he doth begin

wisdome
/ I thinke right well for many a one
hath come to sore decaye
when as it hapt that Ircksomnis
hath met them in the way
for I poore wisdome here am plaste
among these craggie cliftes
& he that seekes to win my loue
must venter many shiftes
but it I beare the greate good will
& here I promise the
If thou canst Ircksomnies dstroy
thy lady I will be
& to the end that may be done
wc h I might well aford
hold heere perseuerance I say
a good & lucky sword
& call for Ircksomnis
& lett him feale thy force
be stoute for if he ouer come
he will haue no remorse

wit
/ Why maddam deare behold the wight
wc h feares not for thy loue
to fight wt h men & monstors both
as straight I shall it prooue

wisdome
/ well doe so then
the whilees I will depart

wit
/ I thaink you lady wisdome much
farewell wt h all my hart
Exit wisdome
wit calleth forth Ircksomns
well once more haue at Ircksomnis
com forth thou monstor fell
I hope yet now the second time
thy pride & force to quel
Enter Ircksomns saing
what who is that that cales me forth
what art thou yet aliue
if that I catch the once againe
thou shalt no more reuiue

wit
/ leaue of thy brages & doe thy worst
thy words may not preuaile at first
Here thay fight [OMITTED] a while and Ircksomnis must run in a dores and

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38

wit shall followe taking his visor of his hed and shall bring it in vpon his sworde saing
the lord bethainked for his grace
this monster is [OMITTED] subduid/
& I wc h erst was worne wt h wo
am now wt h ioy renued
well now before that I vnto
dame wisdomes house repare
I will vnto my father go
these [nuse] newes for to declare

Exit