 | Pleasant Odes |  |
79
Dr. Leyds.
81
I.
Sir,—
That is to say, your Excellency,—
Of what are you a doctor? and why are you excellent?
Really, truly, candidly, and without prejudice,
And to provide a plain answer to a pair of plain questions,
I do not know.
82
II.
On referring, however,To that Valhalla of undeparted greatness,
Who's Who,
I find you set forth pretty much as follows:—
83
III.
Leyds, Willem Johannes,Minister Plenipotentiary
Of the South African Republic
Since 1898:
Born at Magelang, Java, 1859,
Educated at Amsterdam University,
Doctor of Law (cum laude)
(Thanks, very much!)
Attorney-General, South African Republic, 1884,
Elected State Secretary, 1888,
Justice of the Peace for the whole Republic, 1889,
(Just fancy!),
Re-elected State Secretary, 1893 and 1897;
Has written a book
Called
De rechtsgrond der schadevergoeding voor preventieve hechtenis
(I beg that the printers will excuse me for quoting that title in full);
Is the possessor of sundry recreations,
Such, for example,
As gymnastics, music, and art
(Which hurt nobody).
84
IV.
The Editor of Who's Who,Who no doubt understands all about poets,
Will, I am sure, pardon my attempt
To infuse a little Attic grace
Into his bald statement of facts;
And, that being taken for granted,
I will proceed.
85
V.
Dr. Leyds,I am not going to abuse you,
I am not going to throw mud at you,
I am not even going to trouble you with words of wisdom,
I (these capital I's are getting rather thick!)
I merely wish to point out,
I merely wish to assure you
(I think it desirable to assure you)
That, on the whole, you are a thorough Javanese gentleman,
And that one way and another—
One way and another, mark me—
You have been the saviour of the South African Republics.
86
VI.
For contact with you—Affording as it has done
Opportunity for sizing you up,
Opportunity for observing the integrity and straightforwardness of your methods—
Appears to have convinced the diplomacy of Europe
(Which Heaven bless!)
That the South African Republics—
Or at any rate the Governments thereof—
Are not by any means so white, so innocent, and so lamblike
As the genial Anglophobe would have us believe.
87
VII.
So that the diplomacy of Europe(Which Heaven bless, once more!)
Finds that it can fight shy of intervention
Without serious inconvenience to its conscience,
And this, if I may say so,
Is really charming of it.
88
VIII.
Go on, my dear Dr. Leyds,Keep on going on, as it were:
I love you,
I love you better than I love my brother
(I haven't got a brother,
But never mind!)—
89
IX.
If you would kindly visit the United StatesAnd play your excellent, plenipotential, extraordinary Javanese game there,
I should feel tremendously obliged,
And you would be doing a distinct service
To the Anglo-American Alliance
(If there be such a thing).
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