University of Virginia Library

Land of the North, enchanting clime,
Where Summer sits enthron'd in slime!
Where Winter, quick as winds can blow,
O'erlays the aforesaid slime with snow;
And fog, and frost, and mire together,
No doubt make very pleasant weather;
Ten years are gone (my tears flow fast!)
Since on your charms I gazed my last—
Since in all jargons under heaven
My vows were to your charmers given;
To swampy Holland's maids of mud—
To Denmark's, fish in face and blood;
To greasy Teutchland's thick-legged vrows—
To Sweden's, kindred to their cows;
To all diversities of skin,
Through Peter's realms of oil and gin;
Where lovers overhead in love
Make speeches bottom'd on a stove;
And maidens touch'd with mutual flame,
Return them,—bottom'd on the same.
H-tf-d, beware of tender passions,
Until you know the Calmuck fashions;
The man caught serenading there,
Will soon betray a loss of ear.
Or, if unsnipt the stanza flows,
The zephyr mulcts you in a nose;
There Cupid has no time to linger,
Each moment costs a toe or finger;
You're lucky if you quit the place
The half-possessor of your face.
The maiden that is over nice
Will see her love preserved in ice.
Transcendent soil of fen and fog,
Where man is but a larger frog!