August 6.—
We go out of town at
seven o'clock to-morrow morning, as we
are to dine at Grimston-hall, and purpose
going at our leisure. I will steal a few
minutes from sleep, though it is now very
late, to give you a short scene which passed
in my chamber about an hour ago.
Sir George (who, according to his late
custom, had been abroad all day) came
into my room, where my mother and I
were sitting together. He asked us, Did
we hold our purpose of going out of town
next day? Yes, certainly, my mother
said. And you intend going from lady
Grimston's to Sidney Castle? We do.
Then, madam (to my mother), as it is the
last trouble you are likely to have from
Mr. Faulkland, I hope you will not refuse
to read this letter, which he has sent
you; and he took one out of his pocket,
and presented it to her. She did not
make an offer to receive it, but answered,
Sir George, it is to no purpose for Mr.
Faulkland to sollicit me; you know I
don't easily alter my resolutions when
once they are fixed: he has given himself
an unnecessary trouble; pray excuse me:
it was not handsome of him to write to
my daughter, after he knew my sentiments.
You need not be afraid of fresh
sollicitations, madam, said my brother;
I knew enough of your
firmness (and he
spoke the word firmness reluctantly, as if
he would rather have used another, perhaps
less respectful term); I knew enough
to assure Faulkland there was not the least
hope left for him; and though I do not
know the subject of that letter, I can
venture to assure you, it is not intended
to move you in favour of his pretensions:
this he declared to me, before I would take
the letter from him; but what puts it past
doubt, is, that he set out this very evening
from London, in order to embark
for Germany. I could not help breathing
a sign when Sir George said this; but no
body heard me. He still held the letter
in his hand, and again offered it to my
mother; You need not be afraid of it,
madam; I presume it may be no more
than to take a civil leave of you. I wish
him well, said my mother, taking the
letter; if that be all, what he says may
keep cold; and she put it into her pocket
without opening.
This being the eve of our journey,
some little domestic matters, which my
mother had to settle, called her out of the
room. Sir George took that opportunity
to ask me, whether my mother had shewed
me the letter which he had received
from Mr. Faulkland while he was at Bath,
relative to that cursed affair, as he called
it. I told him, my mother had repeated
great part of the contents of it to me;
and that the principal observation she had
made, was not favourable to
him, on account
of his being made the confidant of
such an affair.
I am very sorry for your sake, Sidney,
said he, that our mother is of so inflexible
a temper; you have lost by it, what you
will have reason to regret as long as you
live. Such amazing obstinacy! such
unaccountable perverseness! I do not
want to shake your filial obedience; but I,
for my own part, think that nothing but
infatuation can account for your mother's
conduct—Does she want a man without
passions? Or have you filled your
head with such chimaerical notions as to—
I interrupted him (for my brother is not
always nice in his choice of words);—Dear
Sir George, say no more; I am very well
contented as I am. I will not increase
your uneasiness, said he, by telling you
what Faulkland has suffered on this occasion.
If ever love was carried to adoration,
it was in the breast of that generous,
charming fellow—but you have lost
him—and I have lost him; thanks to my
wise scrupulous mother for that. I begged
of him to drop the subject. My mother
came in to us again. Sir George bid
us good night, and wished us a good
journey. The parting was cool enough.
I am glad, however, there is not a total
rupture. I believe he will continue in our
house in town for a time, at least.
Patty Main, who gladly accepted of the
offer of my service, came home to me
this evening. She is grown very tall and
genteel. I hardly know how to treat her
as a servant; but the good girl is so humble,
that she does all in her power to make
me forget that I ever knew her in a better
situation; but in this she fails of her purpose,
for it only serves to remind me the
more strongly of it: she is so ready, and
so handy, that she does twenty little offices
that do not belong to her place, and
which are not expected of her. My mother
is exceedingly pleased with her, and
says it is such a happiness to have about
me a young person virtuously brought
up, that she almost considers her as one
of the family.
