University of Virginia Library

THE PIE AND THE PATTY-PAN.

ONCE upon a time there was a Pussy-
cat called Ribby, who invited a little
dog called Duchess to tea.

"Come in good time, my dear Duchess''
(said Ribby's letter), "and we will have
something so very nice. I am baking
it in a pie-dish—a pie-dish with a pink rim.
You never tasted anything so good! And
you shall eat it all! I will eat muffins, my
dear Duchess!'' wrote Ribby.

Duchess read the letter and wrote an
answer:—"I will come with much pleasure
at a quarter past four. But it is very strange.
I was just going to invite you to come here,
to supper, my dear Ribby, to eat something
most delicious.''

"I will come very punctually, my dear
Ribby,'' wrote Duchess; and then at the
end she added—"I hope it isn't mouse?''

And then she thought that did not look
quite polite; so she scratched out "isn't
mouse'' and changed it to "I hope it will
be fine,'' and she gave her letter to the
postman.

But she thought a great deal about Ribby's
pie, and she read Ribby's letter over
and over again.

"I am dreadfully afraid it will be mouse!''
said Duchess to herself—"I really couldn't,
couldn't eat mouse-pie. And I shall have
to eat it, because it is a party. And my pie

[Description: Text page with image of Duchess, the dog, standing on a box getting things out of the larder.]

was going to be veal and ham. A pink and
white pie-dish! and so is mine; just like
Ribby's dishes; they were both bought at
Tabitha Twitchit's.''

Duchess went into her larder, and took
the pie off a shelf and looked at it.

"It is all ready to put into the oven.
Such lovely pie-crust; and I put in a little
tin patty-pan to hold up the crust; and I

[Description: Text page and Duchess, the dog, holding a pie.]

made a hole in the middle with a fork to
let out the steam—Oh I do wish I could
eat my own pie, instead of a pie made of
mouse!''

Duchess considered and considered and
read Ribby' s letter again—

"A pink and white pie-dish-and you
shall eat it all. `You' means me—then
Ribby is not going to even taste the pie
herself? A pink and white pie-dish! Ribby
is sure to go out to buy the muffins. . . . .
Oh what a good idea! Why shouldn't I rush along
and put my pie into Ribby's oven when Ribby
isn't there?''

Duchess was quite delighted
with her own cleverness!

[Description: Blank Page]

THE PIE MADE OF MOUSE.

[Description: Watercolor image of Ribby cooking the mouse pie]

[Description: Text page.]

Ribby in the meantime had received
Duchess's answer, and as soon as she was
sure that the little dog could come—she
popped her pie into the oven. There were
two ovens, one above the other; some other
knobs and handles were only ornamental and
not intended to open. Ribby put the pie
into the lower oven; the door was very stiff.

"The top oven bakes too quickly,'' said
Ribby to herself. "It is a pie of the most
delicate and tender mouse minced up with
bacon. And I have taken out all the bones;
because Duchess did nearly choke herself
with a fish-bone last time I gave a party.
She eats a little fast—rather big mouthfuls.
But a most genteel and elegant little dog;
infinitely superior company to Cousin
Tabitha Twitchit.''

Ribby put on some coal and swept up
the hearth. Then she went out with a pail
to the well, for water to fill up the kettle.

Then she began to set the room in order,
for it was the sitting-room as well as the
kitchen. She shook the mats out at the
front-door and put them straight; the
hearth-rug was a rabbit-skin. She dusted
the clock and the ornaments on the mantel-
piece, and she polished and rubbed the
tables and chairs.

Then she spread a very clean white table-
cloth, and set out her best china tea-set,
which she took out of a wall-cupboard near
the fire-place. The tea-cups were white
with a pattern of pink roses; and the
dinner-plates were white and blue.

When Ribby had laid the table she took
a jug and a blue and white dish, and
went out down the field to the farm, to
fetch milk and butter.

When she came back, she peeped into
the bottom oven; the pie looked very comfortable.

Ribby put on her shawl and bonnet
and went out again with a basket, to the
village shop to buy a packet of tea, a
pound of lump sugar, and a pot of marmalade.

And just at the same time, Duchess
came out of her house, at the other end
of the village.

Ribby met Duchess half-way down the
street, also carrying a basket, covered with
a cloth. They only bowed to one another;
they did not speak, because they were going
to have a party.

As soon as Duchess had got round the
corner out of sight—she simply ran!
Straight away to Ribby's house!

Ribby went into the shop and bought

[Description: Black and white drawing of Ribby holding her basket outside of Tabitha Twitchit's store. Two kittens are playing. Text image.]

what she required, and came out, after
a pleasant gossip with Cousin Tabitha
Twitchit.

Cousin Tabitha was disdainful after-
wards in conversation—

"A little dog indeed! Just as if there
were no CATS in Sawrey! And a pie
for afternoon tea! The very idea!'' said
Cousin Tabitha Twitchit.

Ribby went on to Timothy Baker's and
bought the muffins. Then she went home.

There seemed to be a sort of scuffling
noise in the back passage, as she was
coming in at the front door.

"I trust that is not that Pie: the spoons
are locked up, however,'' said Ribby.

But there was nobody there. Ribby
opened the bottom oven door with some
difficulty, and turned the pie. There began
to be a pleasing smell of baked mouse!

Duchess in the meantime, had slipped
out at the back door.

"It is a very odd thing that Ribby's pie
was not in the oven when I put mine in!
And I can't find it anywhere; I have looked
all over the house. I put my pie into a
nice hot oven at the top. I could not turn
any of the other handles; I think that they
are all shams,'' said Duchess, "but I wish
I could have removed the pie made of

WHERE IS THE PIE MADE OF MOUSE?

[Description: Duchess, the dog, standing on a rose-colored chair searching in a larder for the pie made of mouse.]

[Description: Blank Page.]

[Description: Duchess, the dog, preening herself in front of a mirror.]

mouse! I cannot think what she has done
with it? I heard Ribby coming and I had
to run out by the back door!''

Duchess went home and brushed her
beautiful black coat; and then she picked
a bunch of flowers in her garden as a
present for Ribby; and passed the time
until the clock struck four.

Ribby—having assured herself by careful
search that there was really no one hiding
in the cupboard or in the larder—went
upstairs to change her dress.

She put on a lilac silk gown, for the party,
and an embroidered muslin apron and tippet.

"It is very strange,'' said Ribby, "I did
not think I left that drawer pulled out;
has somebody been trying on my mittens?''

She came downstairs again, and made
the tea, and put the teapot on the hob.
She peeped again into the bottom oven, the
pie had become a lovely brown, and it was
steaming hot.

She sat down before the fire to wait for
the little dog. "I am glad I used the
bottom oven,'' said Ribby, "the top one
would certainly have been very much too
hot. I wonder why that cupboard door was
open? Can there really have been some
one in the house?''

Very punctually at four o'clock, Duchess
started to go to the party. She ran so
fast through the village that she was too
early, and she had to wait a little while in
the lane that leads down to Ribby's house.

"I wonder if Ribby has taken my pie
out of the oven yet?'' said Duchess, "and
whatever can have become of the other pie
made of mouse?''

At a quarter past four to the minute,
there came a most genteel little tap-tappity.
"Is Mrs. Ribston at home?'' inquired
Duchess in the porch.

"Come in! and how do you do, my
dear Duchess?'' cried Ribby. "I hope I see
you well?''

"Quite well, I thank you, and how do
you do, my dear Ribby?'' said Duchess.
"I've brought you some flowers; what a
delicious smell of pie!''

"Oh, what lovely flowers! Yes, it is
mouse and bacon!''

"Do not talk about food, my dear Ribby,''
said Duchess; "what a lovely white tea-
cloth! . . . . Is it done to a turn? Is it still
in the oven?''

"I think it wants another five minutes,''
said Ribby. "Just a shade longer; I will
pour out the tea, while we wait. Do you
take sugar, my dear Duchess?''

"Oh yes, please! my dear Ribby; and
may I have a lump upon my nose?''

"With pleasure, my dear Duchess; how
beautifully you beg! Oh, how sweetly
pretty!''

Duchess sat up with the sugar on her
nose and sniffed—

"How good that pie smells! I do love
veal and ham—I mean to say mouse and
bacon—''

She dropped the sugar in confusion, and
had to go hunting under the tea-table, so
she did not see which oven Ribby opened
in order to get out the pie.

Ribby set the pie upon the table; there
was a very savoury smell.

Duchess came out from under the table-
cloth munching sugar, and sat up on a
chair.

"I will first cut the pie for you; I am
going to have muffin and marmalade,''
said Ribby.

"Do you really prefer muffin? Mind
the patty-pan!''

" I beg your pardon?'' said Ribby.

"May I pass you the marmalade?'' said
Duchess hurriedly.

The pie proved extremely toothsome,
and the muffins light and hot. They disappeared
rapidly, especially the pie!

"I think''—(thought the Duchess to herself)—
"I think it would be wiser if I helped myself
to pie; though Ribby did not seem
to notice anything when she was cutting
it. What very small fine pieces it has
cooked into! I did not remember that I
had minced it up so fine; I suppose this
is a quicker oven than my own.''

"How fast Duchess is eating!'' thought
Ribby to herself, as she a buttered her fifth
muffin.

The pie-dish was emptying rapidly!
Duchess had had four servings already,
and was fumbling with the spoon.

"A little more bacon, my dear Duchess!''
said Ribby.

"Thank you, my dear Ribby; I was
only feeling for the patty-pan.''

"The patty-pan? my dear Duchess?''

"The patty-pan that held up the pie-crust,''
said Duchess, blushing under her black coat.

"Oh, I didn't put one in, my dear Duchess,''
said Ribby; "I don't think that it is necessary
in pies made of mouse.''

Duchess fumbled with the spoon—"I
can't find it!'' she said anxiously.

"There isn't a patty-pan,'' said Ribby,
looking perplexed.

"Yes, indeed, my dear Ribby; where can
it have gone to?'' said Duchess.

"There most certainly is not one, my
dear Duchess. I disapprove of tin articles
in puddings and pies. It is most undesirable—
(especially when people swallow in
lumps!)'' she added in a lower voice.

Duchess looked very much alarmed, and
continued to scoop the inside of the pie-dish.

"My Great-aunt Squintina (grand-
mother of Cousin Tabitha Twitchit)—
died of a thimble in a Christmas plum-
pudding. I never put any article of metal
in my puddings or pies.''

Duchess looked aghast, and tilted up the
pie-dish.

"I have only four patty-pans, and they
are all in the cupboard.''

Duchess set up a howl.

"I shall die! I shall die! I have swallowed
a patty-pan! Oh, my dear Ribby,
I do feel so ill!''

"It is impossible, my dear Duchess; there
was not a patty-pan.''

Duchess moaned and whined and
rocked herself about.

"Oh I feel so dreadful. I have swallowed
a patty-pan!''

"There was nothing in the pie,'' said Ribby
severely.

"Yes there was, my dear Ribby, I am
sure I have swallowed it!''

"Let me prop you up with a pillow, my
dear Duchess; where do you think you feel
it?''

"Oh I do feel so ill all over me, my dear
Ribby; I have swallowed a large tin patty-
pan with a sharp scalloped edge!''

"Shall I run for the doctor? I will just
lock up the spoons!''

"Oh yes, yes! fetch Dr. Maggotty, my
dear Ribby: he is a pie himself, he will
certainly understand.''

Ribby settled Duchess in an armchair
before the fire, and went out and hurried
to the village to look for the doctor.

She found him at the smithy.

He was occupied in putting rusty nails
into a bottle of ink, which he had obtained
at the post office.

"Gammon? ha! HA!'' said he, with
his head on one side.

Ribby explained that her guest had swallowed
a patty-pan.

"Spinach? ha! HA!'' said he, and
accompanied her with alacrity.

He hopped so fast that Ribby had to run.
It was most conspicuous. All the village
could see that Ribby was fetching the
doctor.

"I knew they would over-eat themselves!''
said Cousin Tabitha Twitchit.

But while Ribby had been hunting for
the doctor—a curious thing had happened

DR. MAGGOTTY'S MIXTURE.

[Description: Water-color illustration of Dr. Maggotty, the magpie, placing a nail into a bottle of ink.]

[Description: Blank Page.]

[Description: Text page with black and white drawing of Tabitha Twitchit looking after Ribby, the cat, and Dr. Maggotty, the magpie. Kittens are abundant.]

to Duchess, who had been left by herself,
sitting before the fire, sighing and groaning
and feeling very unhappy.

"How could I have swallowed it! such
a large thing as a patty-pan!''

She got up and went to the table, and
felt inside the pie-dish again with a spoon.

"No; there is no patty-pan, and I put
one in; and nobody has eaten pie except
me, so I must have swallowed it!''

She sat down again, and stared mournfully
at the grate. The fire crackled and danced,
and something sizz-z-zled!

Duchess started! She opened the door of the top oven;—
out came a rich steamy flavour of veal and
ham, and there stood a fine brown pie,—
and through a hole in the top of the pie-
crust there was a glimpse of a little tin
patty-pan!

Duchess drew a long breath—

"Then I must have been eating MOUSE!
. . . NO wonder I feel ill. . . . But perhaps I
should feel worse if I had really swallowed
a patty-pan!'' Duchess reflected—"What
a very awkward thing to have to explain to
Ribby! I think I will put my pie in the

[Description: Text page with black and white drawing of Duchess, the dog, walking out the door with her pie]

back-yard and say nothing about it.
When I go home, I will run round and
take it away.'' She put it outside the
back-door, and sat down again by the
fire, and shut her eyes; when
Ribby arrived with the doctor,
she seemed fast asleep.

"Gammon, ha, HA?'' said the doctor.

"I am feeling very much better,'' said
Duchess, waking up with a jump.

"I am truly glad to hear it!'' He has
brought you a pill, my dear Duchess!''

"I think I should feel quite well if he
only felt my pulse,'' said Duchess, backing
away from the magpie, who sidled up with
something in his beak.

"It is only a bread pill, you had much

[Description: Ribby, the cat, and Dr. Maggotty, the magpie, attempt to give Duchess, the dog, some medicine. Text page.]

better take it; drink a little milk, my dear
Duchess!''

"Gammon? Gammon?'' said the doctor,
while Duchess coughed and choked.

"Don't say that again!'' said Ribby,
losing her temper—"Here, take this bread
and jam, and get out into the yard!''

"Gammon and Spinach! ha ha HA!''
shouted Dr. Maggotty triumphantly out-
side the back door. . . . . .

"I am feeling very much better, my dear
Ribby,'' said Duchess. "Do you not think
that I had better go home before it gets
dark?''

"Perhaps it might be wise, my
dear Duchess. I will lend you a
nice warm shawl, and you shall take my arm.''

"I would not trouble you for worlds;
I feel wonderfully better. One pill of Dr.
Maggotty—''

"Indeed it is most admirable, if it has
cured you of a patty-pan! I will call
directly after breakfast to ask how you have
slept.''

Ribby and Duchess said good-bye
affectionately, and Duchess started home.
Half-way up the lane she stopped and
looked back; Ribby had gone in and shut
her door. Duchess slipped through the
fence, and ran round to the back of Ribby's
house, and peeped into the yard.

Upon the roof of the pig-stye sat Dr.
Maggotty and three jackdaws. The jackdaws
were eating pie-crust, and the magpie
was drinking gravy out of a patty-pan.

"Gammon, ha, HA!'' he shouted when
he saw Duchess's little black nose peeping
round the corner.

Duchess ran home feeling uncommonly
silly!

When Ribby came out for a pailful of
water to wash up the tea-things, she found
a pink and white pie-dish lying smashed in
the middle of the yard. The patty-pan was
under the pump, where Dr. Maggotty had
considerately left it.

Ribby stared with amazement—"Did you
ever see the like! so there really was a
patty-pan? . . . . But my patty-pans are all
in the kitchen cupboard. Well I never
did! . . . . Next time I want to give a party
—I will invite Cousin Tabitha Twitchit!''