 | Uncle Tom's Cabin |  |
SCENE IV
Street. Enter Marks meeting Cute, who enters dressed in an old faded uniform
By the land, stranger, but it strikes me that I've seen you somewhere
before.
CUTE:
By chowder! do you know now, that's just what I was a going to say?
MARKS:
Isn't your name Cute?
CUTE:
You're right, I calculate. Yours is Marks, I reckon.
MARKS:
Just so.
CUTE:
Well, I swow, I'm glad to see you. (They shake hands.)
How's your
wholesome?
MARKS:
Hearty as ever. Well, who would have thought of ever seeing you
again. Why, I thought you was in Vermont?
CUTE:
Well, so I was. You see I went there after that rich relation of mine—
but the speculation didn't turn out well.
MARKS:
How so?
CUTE:
Why, you see, she took a shine to an old fellow—Deacon Abraham
Perry—and married him.
MARKS:
Oh, that rather put your nose out of joint in that quarter.
CUTE:
Busted me right up, I tell you. The Deacon did the hand-some thing
though, he said if I would leave the neighborhood and go out South again, he'd
stand the damage. I calculate I didn't give him much time to change his mind.
and so, you see, here I am again.
MARKS:
What are you doing in that soldier rig?
CUTE:
Oh, this is my sign.
MARKS:
Your sign?
CUTE:
Yes; you see, I'm engaged just at present in an all-fired good
speculation, I'm a Fillibusterow.
MARKS:
A what?
CUTE:
A Fillubusterow! Don't you know what that is? It's Spanish for
Cuban Volunteer; and means a chap that goes the whole perker for glory and all
that ere sort of thing.
MARKS:
Oh! you've joined the order of the Lone Star!
CUTE:
You've hit it. You see I bought this uniform at a second hand
clothing store, I puts it on and goes to a benevolent individual and I says to
[Description: 916EAF. Page 130.]
got massacred by the bloody Spaniards. I'm in a destitute condition—give me a
trifle to pay my passage back, so I can whop the tyrannical cusses and avenge
my brave fellow soger what got slewed there.
MARKS:
How pathetic!
CUTE:
I tell you it works up the feelings of benevolent individuals dreadful-
ly. It draws tears from their eyes and money from their pockets. By chowder!
one old chap gave me a hundred dollars to help on the cause.
MARKS:
I admire a genius like yours.
CUTE:
But I say, what are you up to?
MARKS:
I am the traveling companion of a young gentleman by the name
of Shelby, who is going to the plantation of a Mr. Legree of the Red River, to
buy an old darkey who used to belong to his father.
CUTE:
Legree—Legree? Well, now, I calculate I've heard that ere name
afore.
MARKS:
Do you remember that man who drew a bowie knife on you in
New Orleans?
CUTE:
By chowder! I remember the circumstance just as well as if it was
yesterday; but I can't say that I recollect much about the man, for you see I was
in something of a hurry about that time and didn't stop to take a good look at
him.
MARKS:
Well, that man was this same Mr. Legree.
CUTE:
Do you know, now, I should like to pay that critter off!
MARKS:
Then I'll give you an opportunity.
CUTE:
Chowder! how will you do that?
MARKS:
Do you remember the gentleman that interfered between you and
Legree?
CUTE:
Yes—well?
MARKS:
He received the blow that was intended for you, and died from
the effects of it. So, you see, Legree is a murderer, and we are only witnesses of
the deed. His life is in our hands.
CUTE:
Let's have him right up and make him dance on nothing to the tune
of Yandee Doodle!
MARKS:
Stop a bit. Don't you see a chance for a profitable speculation?
CUTE:
A speculation! Fire away, don't be bashful, I'm the man for a
speculation.
MARKS:
I have made a deposition to the Governor of the state on all the
particulars of that affair at Orleans.
CUTE:
What did you do that for?
MARKS:
To get a warrant for his arrest.
CUTE:
Oh! and have you got it?
MARKS:
Yes; here it is. (Takes out paper.)
CUTE:
Well, now, I don't see how you are going to make anything by that
bit of paper?
MARKS:
But I do. I shall say to Legree, I have got a warrant against you
for murder; my friend, Mr. Cute, and myself are the only witnesses who can ap-
pear against you. Give us a thousand dollars, and we will tear the warrant and
be silent.
CUTE:
Then Mr. Legree forks over a thousand dollars, and your friend
Cute pockets five hundred of it, is that the calculation?
[Description: 916EAF. Page 131.]
If you will join me in the undertaking.
CUTE:
I'll do it, by chowder!
MARKS:
Your hand to bind the bargain.
CUTE:
I'll stick by you thro' thick and thin.
MARKS:
Enough said.
CUTE:
Then shake.
(They shake hands.)
But I say, Cute, he may be contrary and show fight.
CUTE:
Never mind, we've got the law on our side, and we're bound to stir
him up. If he don't come down handsomely we'll present him with a neck-tie
made of hemp!
MARKS:
I declare you're getting spunky.
CUTE:
Well, I reckon, I am. Let's go and have something to drink. Tell you
what, Marks, if we don't get him, we'll have his hide, by chowder!
(Exeunt,
arm in arm.)
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