 | Beware of Smooth Water |  |
Scene III.
An Apartment in Don Alonso's House.— Enter Clara, Eugenia, Mari Nuño, &c.Clara.
Here, take my mantle, Mari. Oh, I wish we had
a chaplain of our own in the house, not to go abroad
through the crowded streets!
Eug.
And I, that church were a league of crowded street
off, and we obliged to go to it daily.
Mari.
I agree with Señora Clara.
Brigida.
And I with Señora Eugenia.
Mari.
And why, pray?
Brig.
Oh, madam, I know who it is deals most in sheep's
eyes.
Enter Don Alonso.
Alon.
(talking to himself as he enters).
How lucky he
should have pitcht on the very one I wanted!
(Aloud.)
Oh,
Eugenia, I would speak with you. Nay, retire not, Clara,
for I want you to pardon me for the very thing Eugenia is
to thank me for.
Clara.
A riddle, sir. I pardon you?
Alon.
Listen, both of you. Your cousin Don Torribio
has declared his love for Eugenia: and though I could have
wish'd to marry you, Clara, first, and to the head of our
house too, yet my regret at your missing it is almost cancell'd
by the joy of your sister's acceptance.
Clara.
And so with me, believe me, sir. I am well content
to be slighted so long as she is happy: which may she
Oh, providential rejection!
[Exit.
Torribio
(peeping in).
Ah! what a wry face she makes!
Alon.
And you, Eugenia, what say you?
Eug.
(aside.)
Alas! surprise on surprise!
(Aloud.)
Nay,
sir, you know, I hope, that I am ever ready to obey you.
Alon.
I look'd for nothing else of you.
Torr.
Nor I.
Alon.
Your cousin is waiting your answer in his chamber.
I will tell him the good news, and bring him to you.
[Exit.
Eug.
Only let him come! Alas!
Torr.
(entering).
How lightly steps a favour'd lover forth!
Give you joy, cousin.
Eug.
The wretch!
Torr.
Being selected by the head of your house.
Eug.
Sir, one word, I wouldn't marry you if it should
cost me my life.
Torr.
Ah, you are witty, cousin, I know.
Eug.
Not to you, sir. And now especially, I mean to tell
you sober truth, and abide by it, so you had better listen.
I tell you once again, and once for all, I wouldn't marry
you to save my life!
Torr.
Cousin! After what I heard you tell your father?
Eug.
What I said then was out of duty to him; and what
I now say is out of detestation of you.
Torr.
I'll go and tell him this, I declare I will.
Eug.
Do, and I'll deny it. But I mean it all the same,
and swear it.
Torr.
Woman, am I not your cousin?
Eug.
Yes.
Torr.
And head of the family?
Eug.
I dare say.
Torr.
An Hidalgo?
Eug.
Yes.
Torr.
Young?
Eug.
Yes.
Torr.
Gallant?
Eug.
Very.
Torr.
And dispos'd to you?
Eug.
Very possibly.
Torr.
What do you mean then?
Eug.
Whatever you choose, so long as you believe I mean
what I say. I'll never marry you. You might be all you
man without a capacity.
[Exit.
Torr.
Capacity! without a Capacity! I who have the
family estate, and my ancestors painted in a row on the
patent in my saddle-bags! I who—
Enter Alonso.
Alon.
Well, nephew, here you are at last; I've been
hunting every where to tell you the good news.
Torr.
And what may that be, pray?
Alon.
That your cousin Eugenia cordially accepts your
offer, and—
Torr.
Oh, indeed, does she so? I tell you she's a very
odd way of doing it then. Oh uncle, she has said that to
me I wouldn't say to my gelding.
Alon.
To you?
Torr.
Ay, to me—here—on this very spot—just now.
Alon.
But what?
Tor.
What? why, that I had no Capacity! But I'll soon
settle that; I either have a Capacity or not—if I have, she
lies; if not, I desire you to buy me one directly, whatever it
may cost.
Alon.
What infatuation!
Torr.
What, it costs so much, does it? I don't care, I'll
not have it thrown in my teeth by her or any woman; and
if you won't, I'll go and buy a Capacity, and bring it back
with me, let it cost—ay, and weigh—what it will.
[Exit.
Alon.
Nephew, nephew! Stom him there!
Enter Clara and Eugenia.
Clara.
What is the matter, sir?
Alon.
Oh, graceless girl, what have you been saying to
your cousin?
Eug.
I sir? Nothing.
Alon.
Oh! if you deceive me! But I must first stop his
running after a Capacity!
[Exit.
Eug.
What can I have done?
Clara.
Nay, attempt not dissimulation with me, who
know how you would risk even your advancement for a
sarcasm.
Eug.
It was all for your sake, if I did, Clara.
Clara.
For my sake! oh, indeed, you think I can have
no lovers but what you reject? Poor little fool! I could
have enough if I chose to lay out for them as some do;
fortress.
Eug.
Hark! they are coming back; I dare not face them
both as yet.
[Exit.
Enter Don Felix.
Fel.
Permit me, madam—
Clara.
Who is this?
Fel.
One, madam,
Who dares to ask one word with you.
Clara.
With me?
Fel.
Indeed with you.
Clara.
You cannot, sir, mean me.
Fel.
Once more, and once for all, with you indeed;
Let me presume to say so, knowing well
I say so in respect, not in presumption.
Eug.
(peeping).
Why, whom has my staid sister got with her?
Clara.
With me! My very silence and surprise
Bid you retire at once.
Fel.
Which I will do
When you will let this silence speak to you
With less offence perhaps than could my tongue.
(Offering her a letter.)
Eug.
Oh, if he would but try if fort or apple!
Clara.
A letter too!—for me!
Fel.
And, madam, one
It most imports your honour you should read.
For, that being once in question, I make light
That my friends' lives, Don Juan and Don Pedro,
Are in the balance too.
Eug.
Don Juan! Don Pedro!
Clara.
What, sir, is this to me, who neither know
Don Juan, nor Don Pedro, nor yourself?
Fel.
Having then done my duty to my friends,
And (once again I say't) to yourself, madam,
Albeit in vain—I'll not offend you more
By my vain presence.
(Going.)
Clara.
Nay, a moment—wait.
I must clear up this mystery. Indeed,
I would not be discourteous or ungrateful:
But ere I thank you for your courtesy,
Know you to whom you do it?
Fel.
To Donna Eugenia.
Well, sir?
Eug.
Oh, the hypocrite!
Fel.
You are the lady?
Clara.
Enough—give me the letter, and adieu.
Eug.
I can forbear no longer. (Coming out.)
Sister, stop!
Oh! what to do!—the letter—
Clara.
Well?
Eug.
I tell you
My father and my cousin are coming up,
And if they see—
Clara.
Well, if they see? what then!
I wish them both to see and hear it all.
(Calling.)
Sir! Father! Cousin! Otañez!
Alon.
(within).
Clara's voice?
Fel.
What to do now?
Eug.
Alas, to tell the truth,
When I but wish'd to lie!
Clara
(calling).
This way, sir, here!
Eug.
Will you expose us both? In here! in here!
[She hides Felix behind arras.
Enter Alonso, Torribio, Mari Nuño, Otañez, &c.
Alon.
What is the matter?
Clara.
There is some one in the house, sir. A man—I saw
him stealing along the corridor, towards the garret.
Brigida.
It must be a robber?
Alon.
A robber?
Mari.
What more likely in a rich Indian's house?
Alon.
I'll search the house.
Torr.
I'll lead the forlorn hope, though that garret were
Maestricht itself. Now, cousin, you shall see if I've a Capacity
or not.
[Exeunt Alonso and the men.
Clara.
Do you two watch in the passage.
(Exeunt Mari
Nuño and Brigida.)
And now, sir, the door is open, give
me the letter and begone.
Fel.
Adieu, madam, neglect not its advice.
Eug.
Alas, alas, she has it!
Fel.
She's all too fair! come, honour, come, and shame
False love from poaching upon friendship's game!
[Exit.
Re-enter Alonso, &c.
Alon.
We can see nothing of him, daughter.
Clara.
Nay, sir, he probably made off when the alarm
was given. Take no more trouble.
Nay, we'll search the whole house.
Torr.
What do you say to my Capacity now, cousin?
[Exeunt Alonso, Torribio, &c.
Clara.
You see, Eugenia, in what your enterprises end.
At the first crack, you faint and surrender. I have done
all this to show you the difference between talking and doing.
And now go; I have got the letter, and want to read it.
Eug.
And so do I! but—
Clara.
Go! I am mistress now.
(Exit Eugenia.)
May
they not have written to me under cover of her name? let
me see.
(Reads.)
“Let not him offend honour by the very
means he takes to secure it; at least let his good intention
excuse his ill seeming. Don Juan, more than ever enamoured
of you, hangs about your doors; Don Pedro follows
every step you take; they are both in my house; it is impossible
but the secret must soon escape both, who must
then refer their rivalry to the sword, and all to the scandal
of your name. You can, by simply disowning both, secure
their lives, your own reputation, and my peace of mind as
their friend and host. Adieu!”
Buzzes about my brain, both what it says,
And leaves unsaid!—oh, can it be for me?
And is the quiet nun really belov'd
Under the cover of an idle flirt?
Or is it but for her—the vain, pert thing,
Who thinks her eye slays all it looks upon?
If it be so, and she, not I, is lov'd,
I yet may be reveng'd—
Eug.
(entering).
On whom?
Clara.
Eugenia!
This letter that has fallen to my hands,
But meant for you—
Eug.
Oh, I know all about it.
Clara.
Know all about it! know then that two men
Are even now following your steps like dogs
To tear your reputation between them,
And then each other for that worthless sake,
And yet—
Eug.
A moment, you shall see at once
How easily I shall secure myself,
And them, and supersede your kind intentions.
Signor Don Pedro!
(Calls at the window.)
Clara.
What are you about?
Listen and you will hear.
Clara.
You dare not do it!
Eug.
My father's safely lockt up in his room,
(Thanks to the gout your false alarm has brought,)
My cousin gone to buy capacities,
And now's my time.
(Calling at the window.)
Don Pedro! Signor Don Pedro!
Ped.
(coming below to the window).
He well may wait to have his name thrice call'd
When such a goddess—
Eug.
Listen, sir, to me.
It is because, I say, because this room,
Away from father's and duenna's ears,
Allows some harmless speech, it also bars
All nearer access than the ears and eyes
Of father or duenna both could do.
But, seeing harm of harmless trifling come,
I now entreat, implore, command you, sir,
To leave this window and my threshold clear,
Now and for ever!
Ped.
Hear me—
Eug.
Pardon me,
I cannot.
Ped.
But this once—
Eug.
If you persist
I must be rude.
Ped.
Oh, how do worse than—
Eug.
(shutting the blinds down).
Thus!
Clara.
And to your other gallant?
Eug.
Why not think,
If he were here, I'd do the same to him?
Oh, Clara, be assur'd my levities
Are but the dust on youth's butterfly wing,
Though prudes and sinners too take fright at them;
Like that benighted traveller, you know,
Who, frighted by a shallow brook that jump'd
And bubbled at his right, swerv'd to the left
And tumbled into one that lay quite still,
But deep enough to drown him for his pains.
[Exit.
Clara.
What, did she hear what to myself I said?
Or saw my colour change from white to red?
Or only guess'd me waiting for the prey
Her idle chatter ought to fright away?
Prudence at least may make occasion good.
And if these lovers by mistake should woo,
Why (by mistake) should I not listen too?
And teach the teacher, to her proper cost,
Those waters are least deep that prattle most.
| Beware of Smooth Water | |