 | Three Judgements At A Blow |  |
Scene V.
Same as Scene III. Elvira waiting.—Enter Violante from centre door.Viol.
Quick! lock the door, Elvira, and away with me
on wings. My father must not find me here.
Nay, you need not be frightened, he has gone to my
lady Blanca's room by the way.
Viol.
No matter, he must not find me; I would learn too
what is stirring in the business.
I must be desperate and cautious too.
[Exit.
Elv.
(locking the door).
Well, that's all safe, and now
myself to hear what news is stirring.
Vicente
(talking as he enters).
In the devil's name was
there ever such a clutter made about a blow? People all
up in arms, and running here and there, and up and down,
and every where, as if the great Tom of Velilla was a ringing.
Elv.
Vicente! what's the matter?
Vic.
Oh, a very great matter, Elvira. I am very much
put out indeed.
Elv.
What about, and with whom?
Vic.
With all the world, and my two masters, the young
and old one, especially.
Elv.
But about what?
Vic.
With the young one for being so ready with his fists,
and the old one bawling out upon it to heaven and earth,
and then Madam Blanca, she must join in the chorus too;
and then your grand Don Mendo there, with whom seizing's
so much in season, he has seized my master, and my
master's father, and Don Guillen, and clapt them all up in
prison. Then I've a quarrel with the king!
Elv.
With the king! You must be drunk, Vicente.
Vic.
I only wish I was.
Elv.
But what has the king done?
Vic.
Why let me be beaten at least fifty thousand times,
without caring a jot: and now forsooth because an old fellow
gets a little push, his eyes flash axe and gibbet. Then,
Elvira, I'm very angry with you.
Elv.
And why with me?
Vic.
Because, desperately in love with me as you are, you
never serenade me, nor write me a billet-doux, nor ask me
for a kiss of my fair hand.
Elv.
Have I not told you, sir, I leave that all to Beatrice?
Vic.
And have I not told you, Beatrice may go hang
for me?
Elv.
Oh, Vicente, could I believe you!
Vic.
Come, give me a kiss on credit of it; in case I lie,
I'll pay you back.
Well, for this once.
Enter Beatrice.
Beat.
The saints be praised, I've found you at last!
Vic.
Beatrice!
Elv.
Well, what's the matter?
Vic.
You'll soon see.
Beat.
Oh, pray proceed, proceed, good folks. Never mind
me: you've business—don't interrupt it—I've seen quite
enough, besides being quite indifferent who wears my castoff
shoes.
Elv.
I beg to say, madam, I wear no shoes except my
own, and if I were reduced to other people's certainly
should not choose those that are made for a wooden leg.
Beat.
A wooden leg? Pray, madam, what has a wooden
leg to do with me?
Elv.
Oh, madam, I must refer you to your own feelings.
Beat.
I tell you, madam, these hands should tear your
hair up by the roots, if it had roots to tear.
Vic.
Now for her turn.
Elv.
Why, does she mean to insinuate my hair is as false
as that left eye of hers?
Beat.
Do you mean to insinuate my left eye is false?
Elv.
Ay; and say it to your teeth.
Beat.
More, madam, than I ever could say to yours,
unless, indeed, you've paid, madam, for the set you wear.
Elv.
Have you the face to say my teeth are false?
Beat.
Have you the face to say my eye's of glass?
Elv.
I'll teach you to say I wear a wig.
Beat.
Would that my leg were wood just for the occasion.
Vic.
Ladies, ladies, first consider where we are.
Beat.
Oh ho! I think I begin to understand.
Elv.
Oh, and so methinks do I.
(Spoken together ... )
Beat.
It is this wretch—
Elv.
This knave—
Beat.
This rascal—
Elv.
This vagabond—
Beat.
Has told all these lies.
Elv.
Has done all this mischief.
( ... Spoken together.)
(They set upon and pinch him, &c.)
Vic.
Ladies, ladies—Mercy! oh! ladies! just listen!
Elv.
Listen indeed! If it were not that I hear people
coming—
Vic.
Heaven be praised for it!
We will defer the execution then—And in the
mean while shall we two sign a treaty of peace?
Elv.
My hand to it—Agreed!
Beat.
Adieu!
Elv.
Adieu!
[Exeunt Beatrice and Elvira.
Vic.
The devil that seiz'd the swine sure has seiz'd you,
And all your pinches make me tenfold writhe
Because you never gave the king his tithe.
[Exit.
| Three Judgements At A Blow | |