University of Virginia Library

SCENE III.

Epops, Euelpides, Pisthetærus.
Epops.
Unbar the forest, that I may come forth.

Euelpides.
Great Hercules! Why what a monster's here!
What plumage! what a triple tire of cresting!

Epops.
Who are they, seek me?

Euelpides.
The twelve Gods, I think,
Are banded for our ruin.

Epops.
Mock ye at me,
Seeing my plumage? Strangers, I was once
A man.

Euelpides.
At thee we laugh not.

Epops.
At whom then?

Euelpides.
The beak thou hast in truth is somewhat laughable.

Epops.
This is a mischief Sophocles hath done
In his rare tragedies to me—to Tereus.

Euelpides.
Tereus art thou? say, whether bird or peacock?

Epops.
A bird—I am a bird.

Euelpides.
But where thy pennons?

Epops.
They're moulted.

Euelpides.
What? through some disorder haply?

Epops.
No: but in winter time all birds do use
To shed their feathers; and then we put forth new.
But, tell me, who are ye?

Euelpides.
We? Mortals.

Epops.
Whence?

Euelpides.
Whence the fine gallies come from, thence are we.

Epops.
Ay? What, law-chicaners?

Euelpides.
Nay, clean contrary;
Anti-chicaners.

Epops.
Sow they in that country
Such seed then?

Euelpides.
In small quantities, forsooth,
I'th'fields ye might perchance pick up a little.

Epops.
What errand brought ye hither?

Euelpides.
To confer
With thee, our wish was.

Epops.
On what matter, pray?

Euelpides.
Since thou wert first a man, e'en as we, once,
And wert in debt moreover, as we, once,
And wouldst fain shirk thy creditors, as we, once;
But after for a bird's thy nature changedst,
And flewst o'er lands and seas the circle round,
And so kennst all things that or man or bird may;
Therefore as suppliants are we hither come to thee,
If thou wouldst show us some warm, well-fleeced city,
To creep into like a blanket and lie snug.

Epops.
Seekst thou a greater city than the Craggy?

Euelpides.
A greater? no; but one more suited to us.

Epops.
You're looking for an aristocracy, I trow.

Euelpides.
I? Hang me then. I hate his very name,
That whoreson cub of Scellius.

Epops.
My sweet fellow,
Tell me what sort of city 'tis you'd like.

Euelpides.
I'll tell you; where one's greatest trouble should be
Something of this kind. By good times i'th'morning
I should look out and see standing at my door
Some friend. ‘I'm come,’ says he, ‘to say that you
And your family must dine with me to-day.
Be early. No excuses, by the Olympian.
We have a wedding toward. If ye fail me,
Take heed I never see you when I'm poor.’

Epops.
By Jupiter, you're mighty fond of trouble.
And you, what would you have?

Pisthetærus.
I'll tell you.

Epops.
Well.

Pisthetærus.
Something of this kind. I should like a place
Where, if one met a neighbour, he should chide one
After this fashion, ‘Sir, you wish to affront me.
I have a daughter, a good comely girl,
You met her t'other day as she came home
From her devotions in her best attire,
Yet you ne'er stay'd to kiss or toy with her,
Nor took no liberty with her no more
Than she were a trull. It is not handsome of you,
Considering on what terms we have always been.’

Epops.
You sorry rascal! what sad doings you'd have!
However there is some such blessed city.
As you are talking of—by the Red Sea.

Euelpides.
Alas! Alas! let it not be by the sea,
Where the Salaminian may pop in some morning
With a summons. Hast no city in Greece for us?

Epops.
Why not set forth and plant a colony
At the Elean Lepreum?

Euelpides.
That's a place
I have never seen, yet hate it mortally,
That leprous Lepreum—for Melanthius' sake.

Epops.
Well, there are others, as the Opuntian Locris,
Where you might settle.

Euelpides.
Not a golden talent
Should tempt me to become Opuntian.
But prythee say what sort of life is this
Among the birds? For you must know it thoroughly.

Epops.
Troth, no unpleasant one. In the first place,
We have no need of purses.

Euelpides.
There's at least then
No counterfeit coin, no forging in your country.

Epops.
As for our diet, 'tis i'th'gardens mostly,
On sesamum, myrtles, water-mint, and poppy.

Euelpides.
You have sweet herbs enough to deck out a wedding.

Pisthetærus.
Oh admirable! a rare device hath struck me,
A mighty plan. Power, power I see awaiting
The generation of the birds, if ye
Have but the heart to take my counsel.

Epops.
Thine?
What counsel should we take of thine?

Pisthetærus.
What counsel?
In the first place I'd have you to leave off
Your fluttering every where about and gaping,
As a thing not suited to your dignity.
With us if one, seeing such flutterers,
Should ask, ‘What bird have we here?’ Teleas straight
Will say, ‘The man's a giddy-pated chough,
A flutterer, without ballast, without aim,
Nor ever biding in one spot an instant.’

Epops.
Good, good; by Bacchus, we deserve this gibing.
What should we do then?

Pisthetærus.
Found one common polity.

Epops.
A polity? prythee, what sort of polity
Were that, which should be founded by the birds?

Pisthetærus.
What so? Thou'st spoken like a dolt. Look down.

Epops.
I do.

Pisthetærus.
Well: now look up.

Epops.
'Tis done.

Pisthetærus.
And now
Round with thy neck.

Epops.
Good looking and good luck,
By Jove, if that be twisted.

Pisthetærus.
Hast seen aught?

Epops.
Ay: clouds I've seen and sky.

Pisthetærus.
And is not this
The bird's pole?

Epops.
Pole? How mean you that?

Pisthetærus.
No other,
Than as one should say their place. For thus it is
That all things by polarity subsist:
Therefore 'tis termed pole; which if ye found,
And fortify it well, 'twill from that hour,
Instead of pole, as hitherto, be your polity;
So that ye shall rule men like cockchafers,
And starve the Gods out with a Melian famine.

Epops.
How?

Pisthetærus.
Midway earth you know is air. As, therefore
We, if we'd go to Pytho, needs must ask
Of the Bœotians to afford a passage;
E'en so when men make offerings to the Gods,
Unless the Gods to you pay tribute, ye
Shall not allow the savoury steams to pass,
As through an alien state and your own chaos.

Epops.
Hurrah! Hurrah! By earth and gins and nets and traps,
I never heard a cleverer device,
So that ye shall found the city jointly with us,
Permission first obtain'd of th'other birds.

Pisthetærus.
Who then shall broach to them the business?

Epops.
Thou:
For I have taught them, being before barbarians,
The use of speech, having been long time with them.

Pisthetærus.
How wouldst thou summon them to the meeting?

Epops.
Easily.
For first, I'll shroud me in this thicket here;
And then, awaking up my nightingale,
We'll call out to them. They, be sure, no sooner
Will hear our voice, than they'll come scudding to us.

Pisthetærus.
O brave! I love thee, bird, for this. But haste;
No tarrying, prythee; enter quick as may be
Into the thicket, and wake up the nightingale.

Epops.
O come, my mate, break off thy slumbers,
And round thee fling thy plaintive numbers
In a moist, melodious hymn,
Warbled from thy brown throat dim:
For Itys, our beloved son,
Thine and mine, now dead and gone,
Fill the forest with thy moaning;
Till through the woodbine boughs the groaning
Of thy voice to Jove's seat climb,
And mingle with the starry chime,
Where golden-tressed Phœbus soon
Shall answer in as sad a tune,
From his ivory-clasped lyre,
That leads in dance the stately quire;
And from the blest above shall flow
A peal accordant to thy woe.

[Some one plays on the pipe.
Pisthetærus.
Oh Jupiter! for the voice of that sweet bird!
How it hath honied all the thicket round!

Euelpides.
Ho!

Pisthetærus.
What's the matter?

Euelpides.
Won't you list?

Pisthetærus.
For why?

Euelpides.
The bird prepares to warble out again.

Epops.