 | Blue Beard |  |
56
Scene Fifth.
—The Castle Court-yard.Enter Anne, followed by Fleurette and O'Shac O'Back.
Anne.
If our brave brothers are but to be found,
All may go well yet.
(horn)
Fleur.
Hark! what means that sound?
O'Shac.
It means Blue Beard's come back again.
Fleur.
So soon!
O'Shac.
We're like to have a pleasant afternoon.
Fleur.
What can have brought him home so quick, I wonder?
O'Shac.
A coach and four.
Anne.
He looks as black as thunder.
O'Shac.
And, hark! he's going to say something surly,
Ab.
(without)
Hang Joli Cœur to-morrow morning early.
Fleur.
Hang Joli Cœur!
O'Shac.
Faith, he'll be bothered there,
As Mrs. Glass remarks, “first catch your hare.”
Anne.
I trust in time he'll reach our brothers' quarters.
O'Shac.
If not, I wouldn't be your mother's daughters.
Fleur.
The monster comes!
O'Shac.
I wish you, ma'am, well through it.
I'll make my bow while I've a head to do it.
(Exit O'Shac O'Back)
Fleur.
Run up into the attic, sister Anne,
And hollo out as loudly as you can
If you see anybody coming—fly!
The only game to play is “high spy eye.”
Enter Abomelique.
Fleur.
Well, my good lord! (aside)
Oh, hardness to dissemble.
Ab.
Well, my good lady!
Fleur.
(aside)
Mercy! how I tremble.
(aloud)
My lord, I heard you give a shocking order
About poor Joli Cœur.
Ab.
I told the warder
To have him hanged at sunrise, nothing further.
Fleur.
D'ye call that nothing, sir—I call it murther.
57
Pray call it anything, my dear, you please,
But in the first place, hand me back my keys.
Fleur.
Your keys! Oh, yes, sir—there they are, sir—all.
(aside)
I feel so faint, I do think I shall fall.
Why hang that youth?
Ab.
He vowed my head to punch—
Ha! where's the key that was upon this bunch?
Fleur.
Which key?
Ab.
The chamber on the ground floor—where
The key that opens that?
Fleur.
Is it not there?
Ab.
No!
Fleur.
Lack-a-daisy! then where can it be?
Ab.
No lack-a-daisies, ma'am, I lack a key!
Fleur.
I have it not about me.
Ab.
That's a fault.
Fleur.
(aside)
He'll eat me up with half a grain of salt!
Ab.
That key—
Fleur.
(aside)
I feel I've not an hour to live!
Ab.
Did an Egyptian to my mother give.
She was a fairy.
Fleur.
La, sir, you don't mean it!
Then, would to goodness I had never seen it.
Ab.
Wherefore?
Fleur.
(aside)
He's like the black man in the play.
Ab.
Is't lost? Is't gone? Speak! Is't out o'the way?
Fleur.
It is not lost; but what an' if it were?
Ab.
Ha! fetch it! Let me see it. If you dare!
Fleur.
Of course I dare, sir; but I won't before
You promise me to spare poor Joli Cœur.
Ab.
Fetch me that key, I say—my mind misgives.
Fleur.
There's not a better natured fellow lives—
Ab.
The key!
Fleur.
Or on the horn can better play.
(Anne appears at the top of the house)
Ab.
The key!
Fleur.
In sooth you are to blame.
Ab.
Away!
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The key, the key, the fairy key,
The blue room door that opens free!
Without a mark, without a stain,
Go find it and bring it back again!
To play with edge tools is held unwise,
The proverb, ma'am, you'll find applies!
Go fetch the key! go fetch the key!
I swear by all that blue can be,
By my beard above and my room below,
Your head shall off your shoulders go,
If you've dared but through the key-hole to peep,
Your noddle, your noddle off my sword shall sweep.
The blue room door that opens free!
Without a mark, without a stain,
Go find it and bring it back again!
To play with edge tools is held unwise,
The proverb, ma'am, you'll find applies!
Go fetch the key! go fetch the key!
I swear by all that blue can be,
By my beard above and my room below,
Your head shall off your shoulders go,
If you've dared but through the key-hole to peep,
Your noddle, your noddle off my sword shall sweep.
Fleur.
(aside)
He sounds that key-note so, 'twould be in vain
Higher to go, I must come down again!
Forth it must come, whatever may befall;
(aloud)
Why, bless me, here it is, sir, after all!
(produces it)
Ab.
Aha! Indeed, ma'am, is it so? Hollo!
How came it of this colour?
Fleur.
I don't know.
Ab.
Well, then, I do—you've ope'd the room below
And put your foot in it—I told you so.
Prepare to die!
Fleur.
To die so young and hearty.
Ab.
You must go in again and join the party!
Fleur.
Oh, say not so—you can't so cruel be,
Your room is worse, sir, than your company!
Mercy!
Ab.
It's no use, ma'am, to whoop and hollow,
They have all gone-a-head and yours must follow.
Fleur.
Though you're no duke, I ask your grace, oh! let it
Be granted.
Ab.
Don't you wish that you may get it?
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How can you think my head I'll spare?
As if I'd others by the score.
'Stead of my head, cut off my hair,
And I will trouble you no more.
Pray be so kind to grant my prayer,
Hair grows again just as before;
But my poor head, unlike my hair,
If once cut off will grow no more!
Ab.
If you have but one head to wear
You should have thought of that before.
Five minutes take, ma'am, to prepare,
And prythee trouble me no more,
(Fleurette ascends tower)
Ab.
(calling after her)
Five minutes, mind you, not another second—
Fleur.
(at window of tower)
Have I in vain upon my rescue reckon'd?
Dear sister Anne, say, is there any hope?
Anne.
I can see nothing.
Fleur.
Take this telescope. (hands one up to her)
Anne.
My hand shakes so. I ne'er shall hold it steady.
Ab.
Make haste, there are two minutes gone already.
Fleur.
I'm making haste!
Ab.
Two minutes and a quarter.
Fleur.
I shan't be long.
Ab.
At least you'll soon be shorter.
Two and a half.
Fleur.
Pray don't make such a pother!
Ab.
What are you doing?
Fleur.
Writing to my mother.
Shall I say aught from you? (aside)
For time I angle.
Ab.
Yes; you may ask her if she's sold her mangle.
Fleur.
Don't talk of mangling, you unfeeling man!
Ab.
Four minutes!
Fleur.
Are they coming, sister Anne?
Anne.
There's something kicking up a dust.
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What ho!
Fleur.
He's kicking up a dreadful dust below!
Ab.
Five minutes, ladies!
Fleur.
Take another peep!
Anne.
Alas! 'tis nothing but a flock of sheep.
Fleur.
Only a flock of sheep! my hopes you fool,
All that great cry about a little wool;
Fortune upon me seems resolved to frown,
My time is up and so I must go down.
Ab.
I'm getting out of patience. Mrs. A!
Pray do you mean to keep me here all day?
Fleur.
I'm coming.
Ab.
Coming! So is Christmas, wretch!
Come down directly, or I'll be your fetch!
Fleur.
Look out again, dear sister Anne, you must
See something now, I'm sure.
Anne.
Another dust!
Ab.
Prepare!
Fleur.
It's very easy, sir, to say
“Prepare!” How would you like it?
Ab.
Mrs. A.!
Fleur.
Good sister Anne, what see you coming now?
Anne.
Three gentlemen—on horseback too, I vow!
But dear me, slowly as if each a snail rode.
Fleur.
Inhuman! why not travel by the railroad.
Trio—“I see them galloping”—“Blue Beard.”
Fleur.
Quick! wave your handkerchief, my sister dear.
Anne.
Pray, sirs, be kind enough to make haste here.
Fleur.
Bid them be kind enough to make haste here.
Ab.
Prepare!
Fleur.
I see them galloping, they come along like fun.
Now faster galloping, like thorough-breds they run.
Ab.
Prepare! (brings down Fleurette)
Air—Fleurette—“Robert, toi que j'aime”—“Robert le Diable.”
Forbear! forbear! Fie! for shame, sir!
The key was blue before.
I'm in such a fright! I'm in such a fright!
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Oh, don't, sir! I won't, sir, do so any more.
(loud knocking at the door)
Ab.
How now! who's knocking at the gate that way?
Enter O'Shac O'Back.
O'Shac.
Lieutenants Bras-de-Fer and Longue-épée.
Ab.
Tell 'em I'm not at home.
O'Shac.
They've found you out.
Ab.
Say I'm at dinner, then, you stupid lout!
O'Shac.
I told 'em you were waiting for your chop;
And so they said they'd in upon you drop,
And take pot luck!
Ab.
(seizing Fleurette)
My vengeance lose I won't,
So thus I score up twenty!
As he is about to strike, Joli Cœur, Bras-de-Fer, and Longue-epée rush in.
Joli.
No, you don't. (seizes his arm)
Heads up, Fleurette!
Bras-de-Fer., Longue-epee.
There, take that, you old wizard!
(passing their swords through Abomelique, who falls)
O'Shac.
Thunder and turf, they've run him through the gizzard!
Joli.
Dost pity him?
O'Shac.
Who, I, sir? No, sir; never!
But there's a quarter's wages gone for ever.
Ab.
(sitting up)
Kind-hearted soul, your shaken nerves compose,
They have but run me through my wedding clothes.
Fleur.
Perhaps it's better so, and for this reason,
We humbly hope to run you through the season.
But you (to Joli Cœur)
were rather late.
Joli.
No fault of mine;
The locomotive, love, got off the line!
And we were forced to post it as we might;
But here we are, you're safe, and all is right.
O'Shac.
I wish it may be so; but there are those
Before our eyes, that may put in their noes,
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To night committed a most grave offence!
Ab.
If 'tis a grave one, then we must submit;
But if we've once to laughter moved the pit,
We plead that here uncommon nonsense revels,
And strives to kill with laughter all blue devils!
Joli.
But there's another charge that may be made
By those who have not well the matter weighed;
They'll say this can't be Blue Beard; ask us where his
Horses, elephants, and dromedaries,
Real or stuffed?
Fleur.
To that the answer plain
Is—“Sir, the beasts belonged to Drury Lane,
And were but lent to Blue Beard, when—sad work—
They made him fly his country, and turn Turk.”
Our Blue Beard's not a great Bashaw of three tails,
But a French gentleman of one—the details
Dished up, à l'Olympique, by the same cooks
Who for so long have been in your good books.
Smile on us still, nor let our Blue Beard be
A “Fatal Curiosity” to me.
Finale—Fleurette and Chorus—“Non Piu Mesta.”
Fleur.
Spirits light'ning by our gambols gay,
We'll each night dull Care anew beard:
And to modern music sing and play
The old romance of Blue Beard.
Chorus.
If to “female curiosity,”
You'll extend your generosity,
Spirits light'ning by our gambols gay, &c.
CURTAIN.
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