University of Virginia Library

Scene Fourth.

—The Coast of Ethiopia—Andromeda is discovered bound to a rock jutting into the sea—King Cepheus, Queen Cassiope, the Priests of Jupiter, and the few People left alive, grouped on the shore in expectation of the monster.
Andro.
Mamma! papa! I feel so faint.

King., Queen.
Dear daughter!

Andro.
Could you oblige me with a glass of water?

Queen.
The water here is brackish, if not salt,
Suppose you were to try a little malt?

Andro.
Well, since you press me, and my time grows shorter,
I don't mind if I take a pint of porter.

Queen.
I hasten to indulge my suffering child!

Andro.
One moment, dearest mother—draw it mild!

Music—Queen goes out and returns with a goblet of stout.
Queen.
I've brought you some of Barclay's double stout.

Andro.
Is anybody coming—pray look out—
To save me from this Blue Beard of the deep!

Queen.
No; I see nothing but a flock of sheep.

King.
Nothing but sheep! Then she's as dead as mutton.

Ser.
(without)
Prepare!

King.
I hear the voice of that sea-glutton.

Andro.
A moment longer! just to say one pray'r.
Is no one coming yet?

Queen.
Yes! There!

All.
Where?

Queen.
There.

Ser.
(without)
Prepare! I can't wait longer, that I swear!

Andro.
Ah, like a meteor streaming through the air—

Air—Andromeda—“Blue Beard.”
I see him a-galloping! I see him a-galloping!
I see him a-galloping o'er sea and shore.
Now faster galloping—now faster galloping!
I never saw the like before.
(speaking)
Chorus, ladies!

Chorus.
I see him, &c

Enter Perseus on the rock.
Per.
I'm here.

Serpent appears in the sea.
Ser.
And so am I! Your servant, stranger.
I guess that you don't calculate your danger.

Per.
This lady, sir, I say's engaged to me.
And shan't be eaten with impunity.
You got my challenge!

Ser.
Calculate I did.

Per.
Hence! Or accept it, and I'll quickly rid
The world of the worst plague that does infest it.

Ser.
Call me what name you please, I can digest it.

Per.
No insolence! your latter end is nigh.

Ser.
I guess it's too far off for you to spy;
All nature couldn't with the naked eye!
Touch me, and sure as I'm an alligator,
I'll make you drop me like a hot potater.

Per.
For etiquette, of course, sir, you're a stickler.

Ser.
Pretty considerable d*d particular!
So don't look at me so slantendicular.

Per.
Well, then, we'll measure weapons.

Ser.
Mine's no trifle—
I've borrowed uncle Ben's eternal rifle.

(produces it)
Per.
A water-snake with fire-arms.

Ser.
Oh, yes!
You took me for a sword-fish, then, I guess?
Oh, no!

Neptune rises and whispers Perseus.
Nep.
Fear nothing, he can only shew off;
I've damped the priming, and the gun can't go off.

Per.
Well, blaze away—I care not for your swagger;
But if you miss me—tremble at my dagger.

Music—Serpent pulls the trigger, and the rifle misses fire—Perseus rushes upon him, and stabs him in the shoulder.
Ser.
I'm stumped right up! But there's no use in crying,
My length will make me awful long a dying.
Guess you don't know that though you've killed my head,
Ages will pass before my tail be dead.

Per.
Go! tell that story to the sub-marines!

Nep.
(who has unchained and brought forward Andromeda to Perseus)
You are her husband; (aside)
would you were my queen's!

Enter Phineus and Soldiers.
Phin.
Andromeda, alive! and Perseus too!
Rebellion! friends! run everybody through!

King and his Party.
Treason!

Per.
Be quiet! (snatching the head of Medusa out of his bag and presenting it to Phineus, &c.)
there's for you, and you, sir! (they are turned into stone forming “a group from the Antique”)

I'd quite forgot the noddle of Medusa!
They'll make a wedding present for my wife—
A group in marble—modelled from the life.
Hence, but take care that you don't meet Macadam, he
Would pulverise the whole Antique Academy!

Music—The group sinks—thunder.
Nep.
Hark! By the sky saluting, I should say
The flag-ship, Jupiter, was under weigh.
Ay! Sure enough! and by my ocean crown,
The whole celestial squadron, bearing down
Under a cloud of canvas, breasts the breakers!
Top gallants, royals, sky-scrapers, moon-rakers!
The Mercury, mail-packet, bearing letters—
The fire-ship, Pluto, used to burn his betters—
Well stored Minerva, put into commission
On every scientific expedition.
The Bacchus, fonder of the cup than race;
The Dian, fastest sailer in the chase;
The Venus, “transport No. I,” for tars!
'Longside that first-rate man of war, the Mars!
The Phœbus looking bright about the bows;
The Juno who the Io beat at Cowes;
The Amphitrite, my catamaran;
Built on the celebrated blow-up plan!

During this speech the various Deities have descended, and appeared as described.
Per.
I vow I'm highly honoured by this meeting;
Your presence is my happiness completing.
Hermes, your sword, and thank you. Pluto, there's
Your helmet. How are all our friends down stairs?
Madam (to Minerva)
, your Ægis back I beg you'll take
And wear this head upon it for my sake.

(fixing Medusa's head upon the shield)
Min.
But till you're sure you're master of the field
Wisdom would counsel you to keep the shield;
The critic's dart may wound you yet—severely.

Per.
Ah, my sage Mentor! There you touch me nearly!
Now comes my fit again! The old appeal.
Your pulses, friends, once more I crave to feel!
Perseus no more—how flutters now my own?
For, ah! your suppliant away has thrown
Her manly courage with her manly part,
And comes with all the woman in her heart.
Say! if the olive crown by right she claims,
Once more a victor in the Olympic Games.
You praised her air in the Olympic Revels,
You stood the fire of the Olympic Devils;
On earth you patronised her Paphian Bower,
And now in water she has tried her power.
Four seasons, with success her zeal increasing,
She's studied all the elements of pleasing—
At home in each, for while to please you bent,
She feels she's always in her element.
When first she made a plunge, to land you brought her,
Still lend a hand to keep her above water;
And send her home—if 'tis no impropriety—
Again preserved by this “Humane Society.”

Finale—“The Deep Deep Sea.”
Per.
O come, if mirth you love
Or feel at home ennui,
Where our merry spirits rove
In “the deep deep sea.”

Chorus.
In “the deep deep sea,” &c.

Nep.
For the best of spirits here,
In our public house we keep;
Though we do not charge you dear,
Pr'ythee, don't you hold us cheap.

Per.
Good entertainment, mind,
While I remain head-waiter—
For man and horse you'll find—

Ser.
And, I hope, for alligator!

Chorus.
Then come, if mirth you love,
Or find at home ennui,
To our “Deep Deep Sea—”
To our “Deep Deep Sea.”