 | Luralie, The Water Sprite |  |
Scene III.
—A Room in the Castle. Enter Baron and Frau, with an immense bill of items, that drags along the floor.FRAU.
Now, sir, that she is gone, that nasty viper,
We've had our fun, pray who's to pay the piper?
Here is an awful bill from the upholsters.
BARON.
Is there an item touching these two bolsters?
[Points to his legs.
FRAU.
The butcher's bill.
BARON.
No more—the bill's a true one.
FRAU.
The bill for wine.
BARON.
'Tis mighty like blue ruin.
FRAU.
The bill for plate.
BARON.
Includes your ugly mug.
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The bill for ale.
BARON.
Will put me in jug.
FRAU.
The bill for trinkets, gewgaws, lace, and rings.
BARON.
One yet—I'll see no more of Banquo's Kings!
Enter Johanna, Zoeline in scales, and Elspeth.
ZOELINE.
I come, good Frau, my humble suit renewing.
FRAU.
Pray, sir, are you the frog that went a wooing?
JOHANNA.
Dear mother, do not thus your son abash:
Father, it merely is a trifling rash.
ZOELINE.
I got it eating lobsters and red pepper.
BARON.
That's fine bounce—you seem to be a leper.
Enter Wizard.
WIZARD.
I am a man, born of a former race:
My peers are dead, forget my name and place;
But kindly sympathy, age can't erase.
Friends, I perceive your sad misfortunes clearly.
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But that you suffered this disgrace was better,
That from your heart might fall her magic fetter.
'Tis true I can't with pharmaceutic skill
Compound the famous “Anti-Scaly-Pill,”
The fame of which, if Holloway but hears,
He'll set the public papers by the ears.
But I can summon from the vasty deep
An able leech. Ho! Gobbet, start from sleep!
GOBBET.
Here! mighty master,—say what is your will.
WIZARD.
Produce the famous “Anti-Scaly-Pill,”
And heal this youth, quick, fugit atra cura,
I'll then disclose my camera obscura.
GOBBET.
Bid us all hail,—I am a potent wizard;
You are my subject, now that you're a lizard.
However, we regard you with good will,
And gift you with the “Anti-Scaly-Pill.”
JOHANNA.
The “Anti-Scaly-Pill,”—the name is funny.
ELSPETH.
Comfort yourselves, it is not anti-money.
GOBBET
(to Baron and Frau).
Permit their union,—let your squabbles end.
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And who are you, my most ingenious friend?
GOBBET.
I am the potentate of slugs and snails,
And all amphibious creatures telling tales;
Also of bats, and rats, and toads, and frogs,
The Emperor of half a million bogs.
BARON.
Most potent Majesty, pray turn about.
[Kicks him. Exit Gobbet.
Ho, I declare, the dog has cured my gout.
ZOELINE.
And cured my scales. My fortune is my face.
Johanna, lo!
BARON.
Oh, you have changed the case.
FRAU.
Dear son-in-law, I greet you with a kiss.
ZOELINE.
Oh, that will do.
FRAU
(kissing him).
Take this—and this—and this.
BARON.
Of course, young man, the fortune's to the fore.
ZOELINE.
I give her all I have, I can no more.
And you, too, will be generous, no doubt.
What's Fraulein's dowry, Baron?
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Oh, my gout!
Enter Wilhelm, who kneels to Frau in mistake for Elspeth.
WILHELM.
Forgive me, beauteous maid!
FRAU.
Baron—preserve us!
WILHELM.
I couldn't hang myself, I got so nervous.
Oh! an old woman! Oh, I never knew her!
BARON.
I say, young man, you're very welcome to her.
WILHELM.
Oh, no! My head goes round, my stomach sickens.
BARON.
Try her—she is the tenderest of chickens.
FRAU.
Baron, avenge me, and this ruffian shoot;
[Takes him by the hair.
I never saw such a ferocious brute.
WILHELM.
Let go my hair, I'll give you such a digging.
BARON.
I knew the poor young man would get a wigging.
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Good Frau, forgive the poor dear creature—look you,
For your most humble servant he mistook you.
The blunder's natural, for, to be truthful,
Our figures are alike—we both are youthful.
I've seen so much of true love's sorrows lately,
[To Wilhelm.
That I quite pity you, and like you greatly.
In fact, unless my mistress is averse,
I'll take you, sir, for better or for worse.
BARON.
Well done, old boys and girls—no more caressing,
You all shall have my patriarchal blessing.
[Takes Zoeline aside.
Now, my gay bridegroom, take this counsel trusty:
Poison your wife when she gets old and crusty.
ELSPETH.
Poor heart! when an old husband's gout and growls have broke it.
FRAU.
Ha! Baron,—put that in your pipe and smoke it.
WIZARD.
You now shall see secure your late tormentor
Asleep for ages in the Rhine's green centre.
There shall she lie till centuries revolve.
Ye mists that dim the mortal eye, dissolve!
Tableau of Luralie asleep, the Rhine King and Nymphs standing round her.
RHINE KING
sings.
I am frantic—grief gigantic
Harroweth this mighty heaving breast with care.
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Lo! how we tear our hoary hair!
CHORUS OF NYMPHS.
Ah! she sleeps at last. From our brows we cast
Wreath and flower above her—proving how we love her.
Let us float around, till the spell of sound
Falls on her heart like balm.
RHINE KING
sings.
Hush this groaning, she is moaning.
Would you scare her slumbers with a funeral strain?
With glad measure, lull my treasure:
Come, soothe with joyful dreams her pain.
CHORUS OF NYMPHS.
Ah! howe'er we will, comes a wailing thrill,
Mingling with her slumbers
Sad despairing numbers.
Yet we bid thee sleep. Be thy slumbers deep—
Sleep till thy heart be calm.
BARON and FRAU
sing.
How romantic—cut an antic.
We behold our hateful foe in limbo there!
Thanks tremendous! Still defend us
From sprites of water and of air.
CHORUS OF ALL ON THE STAGE.
Chant a bridal song, as we march along;
Maidens trip with slim toe,
Luralie's in limbo!
Thank our hoary friend, with a courteous bend;
Thanks, potent, hoary sage.
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RHINE KING
sings.
I am frantic—grief gigantic
Harroweth this mighty heaving breast with care.
Pangs tremendous of anguish rend us.
Lo! how we tear our hoary hair!
BARON and FRAU
sing.
How romantic—cut an antic.
Behold our hateful foe in limbo there!
Thanks tremendous! Still defend us
From sprites of water and of air.
CHORUS OF NYMPHS.
He is frantic—grief gigantic
Harroweth his mighty heaving breast within.
Pangs tremendous of anguish rend us—
See how he tears his hoary hair!
ELSPETH
comes forward.
I come to ask your votes for us,
Most kind and patient friends.
You've had enough of us, perhaps
You're glad the business ends.
And if you've had a crow to pick,
No doubt there has been caws;
But drown the sounds of censure
In your generous applause.
[Curtain falls.
| Luralie, The Water Sprite | |