University of Virginia Library

SCENE IV.

A Room in the Inn.
Lucetta, the Innkeeper's Daughter enters.
Luc.

What does Master Wagner mean by leaving
me so long alone! He knows my father has gone out
for the day, and here have I been waiting and wishing

and watching in my own room; really, if it be his
books that keep him from me, I wish he'd be a little
more of the lover, and less of the scholar; and yet he
does talk so learnedly—though I don't understand
what he says, very often—dear young man! but he
has taught me a great deal already, and has promised,
after we are married, to teach me a great deal more.
(Tap at the window.)
—There he is.

Count de Casanova speaks without.
Casa.

Hist! hist! Lucetta—my pretty Lucetta!
'tis I.

Luc.

'Tis that disagreeable old count. An old
rogue, with his ape's face and shambling legs—chattering
and lying, faster than any barber, about his stars
and planets.

Casa.
(Looking in at window)

Lucetta, my pretty
twinkler, let me in. (She opens the door, and the Count enters.)

Here I am, flown on the wings of
Cupid; the urchin has lent me his bow and arrow, to
shoot my little Lucetta through the heart.

Luc.

Cupid with bow and arrow! more like Time
with scythe and hour-glass.

Casa.

You are a rogue; Time has nothing to do
with me. All the Casanovas died young at a century,
and I'm not much past the half-way yet—a very youth.
So my little Venus must not prove retrograde.

Luc.

No more retrograde than yourself. What do
you mean, sir!

Casa.

Retrograde, my little luminary, is adverse—
backward.

Luc.

Then 'tis a shame to abuse me so, for Mr.
Wagner says I'm a very forward little girl.

Casa.

Oh! and who is Mr. Wagner?

Luc.

A very handsome merry young student from
Germany.

Casa.

Oh, ho!—a hostile ascendant in the house of
Venus. I must take a new observation. Here—here's
a golden language, that every one can understand;

translate it, (gives it into her hand)
and take pity
upon me.

Luc.

Really, now, I don't think you look quite so
old or ugly as you did.

Casa.

Gold clears the sight amazingly. Here's
another— (holds out another purse)
—a twin brother
of the former: perhaps now you'll see clearer still.

Luc.

I declare now you are quite beautiful—a very
Adonis.

Casa.

Adonis—pooh! a tame pigeon—not worth
his peas; he turned tail to his Venus, while I face
mine. Oh, Lucetta! look in my face, and read my
passion.

Luc.

I can't, tis written in such a queer language.
I wish Wagner was here.

Casa.

Curse Wagner! I love you. (Kneels.)
Be
kind, and raise my hopes.

[Wagner sings without.
Luc.

There's some one coming; quick—quick—
get up.

Casa.
(Gets on one knee, and strives to rise from the other.)

Fast, by Jupiter! Confound this lumbago!
One knee came up kindly enough; but the
other sticks as fast to the floor as steel to the loadstone.

TRIO.
Casa.
Now prithee your laughing give o'er;
If I'm caught, zounds, my character's gone.

Luc.
There's some one is close at the door;
Quick, quick, prithee rise, sir, and run.

[During this, Lucetta goes to the door—Wagner enters—she points to Casanova, and seems to explain, shewing purse, &c. They advance, Wagner unseen by Casanova.
Luc.
(On one side Casanova.)
Come, I'll pity my lover,
And give him some ease;

Casa.
Ay, do, help me up that I may go.

Wag.
(On the other side of him.)
When elderly gentlemen go on their knees,
They should mind they have not the lumbago.

Luc., Wag.
When elderly gentlemen go on their knees,
They should mind they have not the lumbago.

Casa.
Stand out of the way,
No longer I'll stay;
Of my gold I am cheated;
My hopes are defeated;
You hussey, you rogue,
How dare you collogue?
My revenge you shall both of you feel.

Luc.
Your hopes, sir, I spurn;
Your gold I return;
I'm not to be sold
For jewels or gold.

Wag.
To the wither'd and old
So prithee away;
And all I've to say
Is, the next time you need
Your passion to plead,
Remember, old boy, not to kneel.

Casa.
(With the others.)
Curse the gold!—away, away;
Here I/he will no longer stay;
Laugh'd at—cheated—
Mock'd—defeated—
Rage, confusion, shame I/you feel.

[Omnes repeat this last stanza, as Casanova exits in a rage.
Luc.

Thank the stars, the old ass is gone.

Wag.

And has left his aurum—his gold.

Luc.

An impertinent old fool! It shall be returned
to him.

Wag.

By no means; keep it as thy dowry, my
formosa puella, when we nuptiallize.

Luc.

When we—what, Mr. Wagner?

Wag.

Marry; wilt thou have me for better or worse?

Luc.

I scarcely know; I have seen too little of you
yet to decide;—what are you truly?

Wag.

What am I truly—homo.

Luc.

Homo! and what's that?

Wag.

A noun substantive, and means a man; can
you decline me?

Luc.

Are you rich?

Wag.

Paululum pecuniæ—not very; but doctus
—learned.

Luc.

We can't live upon learning, though I confess
I do love it.

Wag.

And love and learning together can do wonders:
therefore, let us strike hands, and every thing I
know I will teach thee.

Luc.

Well, propose it to my father.

Wag.

Mox—presently; where is he?

Luc.

In his own parlour.

Wag.

Who's with him?

Luc.

Only Signor Tuccarello, a would-be lover of
mine, whom I hate; he's such a fierce-looking, ugly
fellow.

Wag.

Not like me, eh?

Luc.

Not a bit; he looks as if he'd eat anybody up
that dares but look at me; but don't you mind him;
my father does not like him at all.

Wag.

But he does me, I know; and so here goes.
If my foreign scholarship should fail with him, you
shall plead with me; you have the true eloquence of
persuasion, you little gipsy—the language of the eyes,
that's understood all over the world; and a pretty girl,
with a pair of speaking sparklers in her head, is a perfect
polyglote.

[Exit.
Luc.

Well, he's a nice young man; he won my
heart when he came under my window by day-break
and said—

SONG.

[Exit.