 | The Mulberry-Garden |  |
SCENE I.
Sir John Everyoungs House stands.Enter Sir John Everyoung, and Sir Samuel Forecast.
Ever.
Well, for all this heat, let's every one
Govern his own Family as he has a mind to't;
I never vex my self that your Daughters
Live shut up as if they were in Spain or Italy;
Nor pray don't you trouble your self that mine
See Plays, Balls, and take their innocent Diversion,
As the Custom of the Country, and their age requires.
Forec.
They are my Neeces, as they are your Daughters,
And I'le tell you, you spoil 'um with your own
Examples: youth may well be allow'd to be
Stark mad, when they see age so Extravagant:
Is that a Dress for my elder Brother, and a
Reverend Justice?
Ever.
Yes, and a properer than your little Cuffs,
Black Cap, and Boots there, for a Gentleman.
Forec.
Of Eighteen I confess, but not of Fifty.
Ever.
Yes, though he were as old as any before
The Flood; and for my part I'le not bate a Riband
For all the whole Tribe of you can say: you know
Your self every Fool wou'd fain be thought wise;
And why an old man shou'd not desire to be
Thought young, I see no Reason: as long as
2
Shall n'ere betray me.
Forec.
There's no need on't, your face does it sufficiently;
Come I'm asham'd to see you every day
Set out thus powder'd, and trim'd, like an old Player,
To act a young Prince; your Periwig I like
Very well, it serves to keep your bald pate warm,
But that flirting Hat there looks as it were
Made rather for your Wit than your Head.
Pray which is most a-la-mode, Right
Reverend Spark?—Points, or Laces? Girdle,
Or Shoulder-Belts? what say your Letters
Out of France?
Ever.
Lord, what pains you take to Quarrel
At my Dress and Mirth, as if age were not
Tedious enough already, but we
Must adde neglect of our selves, and moroseness
Toward others: Children now adays are
Not so fond of their Parents, that we
Need use any Art to make 'um hate us.
Fore.
Well, go then, and carry your Daughters abroad,
And break their Bellies with Sillabub, 'tis the
Greatest kindness you can do 'um now;
As you have bred 'um, you may e'ne keep
'Um to your self, and save their Portions;
I believe no body will be very fond of a
Hide-Park Filly for a Wife; nor an old Boy
That looks like a Pedlar's Pack for a Father-in-Law:
But now I think on't, you are
Such a Spark, they'd lose their Reputations
With you if they had any.
Ever.
For ought I see good Brother, they stand
As fair in the opinion of the world as yours,
And have done nothing but what I like very well.
Fore.
What do you count it nothing, to be all
Day abroad, to live more in their Coach
Than at home, and if they chance to keep
The House an Afternoon, to have the Yard
3
And Pages, and their Chambers cover'd all over
With Feathers and Ribands, dancing and playing
At Cards with 'um till morning.
Ever.
Why, where's the hurt of all this?
Fore.
O no hurt at all; but if they were my Daughters
I should be looking for Cradles and Nurses,
I shou'd be sorry to hear Diana or Althea
Went abroad without some discreet body
To look after them, or were at home indeed
Without imploying their time in some piece
Of Huswifry, or at least some good Book.
Ever.
You and I shall never hit it, for now I
Think those women who have been least
Us'd to Liberty, most apt to abuse it, when
They come to't.
Fore.
O this fine believing Gentleman, I should
Laugh heartily to see him a Grand-father
Without a Son-in-Law.
Enter to them Victoria and Olivia.
Vict.
Sir if you don't use the Coach your self,
My Sister and I wou'd go abroad this Afternoon.
Ever.
Take it Children, but don't keep the Horses
Out too late.
Fore.
What! never ask 'um whither they're
Going? by your favour I'le put that Question
To 'um; Come hither Victoria, what visits
Do you intend this Afternoon?
Vict.
None Sir, we were only going a Rambling.
Fore.
A Rambling, methinks that word sounds
Very prettily i'the mouth of a young Maid;
Next time I ask 'um whither they're going,
I believe they'l answer me, To drink
A Bottle or two: but whither pray?
Olivia.
For that Sir we shall take counsel of the weather,
Either up into the City, or towards the Park.
4
What, none but you two?
Oliv.
We intended to call on my Cousins
Althea and Diana.
Fore.
They took Physick this morning, and
Are not well, you'l but lose your labour.
Vict.
Sir they sent for us but an hour ago.
Fore.
You had better go without 'um, they
Are all undrest, to stay for 'um would
But make you lose the sweet of the Evening.
Ever.
Brother, what are you jealous of them too?
I assure you they are no men in womens
Cloaths.
Fore.
I am not jealous of 'um, but since you'd
Have it so, I'de as lieve they'd keep away.
Ever.
And I'de as lieve you'd keep away, till you
Understand your self better; what? you
Think your Daughters, like your Money,
Never safe, but under Lock and Key; who
Wou'd you have 'um converse with, if not
With their Relations?
Fore.
With those that are a kin to 'um in manners
And behaviour, such as they may learn
Some goodness of; I see nothing they can
Learn here but vanity.
Vict.
Sister they begin to be angry, come
Let's leave 'um till the storm be over.
[Exeunt.
Fore.
What are they gone? I warrant
If we had been reading a Play, or Romance,
We shou'd not have been rid of 'um so
Soon; but I'le spoil their sport at
My House.
Ever.
A precious Design, and worthy of your
Gravity! But if you do Brother, I'le tell
You one thing, you'l go near to spoil
A match at cross purposes: farewel.
[Exeunt.
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