 | Valentinian |  |
SCEN. 1.
Enter Balbus, Proculus, Chylax; Lycinius.Bal.
I never saw the like she's no more stirr'd,
No more another Woman, no more alter'd
With any Hopes or Promises laid to her,
Let them be ne'r so weighty, ne'r so winning,
Than I am with the motion of my own Legs.
Proc.
Chylax!
You are a stranger yet in these Designs,
At least in Rome, tell me, and tell me truth
Did you e'er know in all your course of Practice
In all the ways of Women you have run through
For I presume you have been brought up, Chylax,
As we, to fetch and carry.
Chyl.
True—I have so.
Proc.
Did you, I say again in all this Progress
Ever discover such a piece of Beauty
15
One that must know her worth too and affect it,
I, and be flatter'd, else 'tis none: and honest
Honest against the Tide of all Temptations?
Honest to one Man, and to her Husband only,
And yet not Eighteen, not of Age to know
Why she is honest?
Chyl.
I confess it freely
I never saw her Fellow, nor ever shall:
For all our Græcian Dames as I have try'd
And sure I have try'd a hundred—if I say Two
I speak within my Compass: All these Beauties
And all the Constancy of all these Faces
Maids, Widdows, Wives, of what Degree or Calling
So they be Greeks and fat: for there's my Cunning
I would vndertake, and not sweat for't: Proculus,
Were they to try again, say twice as many
Under a Thousand pound to lay them flat:
But this Wench staggers me.
Lycin.
Do you see these Jewels?
You would think these pretty Baits now; I'l assure you
Here's half the Wealth of Asia.
Bal.
These are nothing
To the full Honours I propounded to her.
I bid her think and be, and presently
Whatever her Ambition, what the Council
Of others would add to her, What her Dreams
Could more enlarge, What any President
Of any Woman rising up to Glory;
And standing certain there, and in the highest
Could give her more, Nay to be Empress—
Proc.
And cold at all these Offers?
Bal.
Cold as Crystal,
Never to be thaw'd.
Chy.
I try'd her further:
And so far that I think she is no Woman.
At least as Women go now.
Lycin.
Why what did you?
16
I offered that, that had she been but Mistress
Of as much spleen as Doves have, I had reach'd Her
A safe Revenge of all that ever hate her,
The crying down for ever of all Beauties
That may be thought come near her.
Proc.
That was pretty.
Chy.
I never knew that way fail; yet I tell you,
I offer'd her a Gift beyond all yours
That, that had made a Saint start well consider'd;
The Law to be her Creature; she to make it,
Her Mouth to give it; Every thing alive
From her Aspect to draw their Good or Evil
Fixt in 'em spight of Fortune, a new Nature
She should be call'd, and Mother of all Ages;
Time should be hers, what she did, flatt'ring Virtues
Should bless to all Posterities, Her Air
Should give us Life, Her Earth and Water feed us,
And last to none but to the Emp'ror.
(And then but when she pleas'd to have it so:)
She shold be held a Mortal.
Lycin.
And she heard you?
Chy.
Yes, as a sick man hears a Noise, or he
That stands condemn'd, his Judgment.
Well, if there can be Virtue, if that Name
Be any thing but Name, and empty Title,
If it be so as Fools are us'd to feign it,
A Power that can preserve us after Death,
And make the Names of Men out-reckon Ages,
This Woman has a God of Virtue in her.
Bal.
I would the Emperor were that God.
Chy.
She has in her
All the Contempt of Glory, and vain seeming
Of all the Stoicks, All the Truth of Christians,
And all their Constancy; Modesty was made
When she was first intended; When she blushes
It is the holiest thing to look upon;
The purest Temple of her Sex, that ever
Made Nature a blest Founder,
If she were any way inclining
17
Proud to be seen or worshipp'd, 'twere a Venture:
But on my Soul she is chaster than cold Camphire.
Bal.
I think so too: For all the ways of Woman
Like a full sail she bears against: I askt her
After my many Offers, walking with her,
And her many down Denials, How
If the Emperor grown mad with Love should force her?
She pointed to a Lucrece that hung by,
And with an angry Look—that from her Eyes
Shot Vestal Fire against me; she departed.
Pro.
This is the first Woman I was ever pos'd in,
Yet I have brought young loving things together
This two and thirty Year.
Chyl.
I find by this fair Lady
The Calling of a Bawd to be a strange
A wise and subtle Calling: And for none
But staid, discreet and understanding People:
And as the Tutor to great Alexander
VVould say, A young man should not dare to read
His Moral Books till after five and twenty,
So must that He or She that will be Bawdy,
(I mean discreetly Bawdy, and be trusted)
If they will rise and gain Experience
VVell steept in Years and Discipline, begin it—
I take it 'tis no Boys Play.
Bal.
VVhat's to be thought of?
Proc.
The Emperor must know it.
Lycin.
If the VVomen should chance to fail too—
Chy.
As 'tis ten to one.
Proc.
VVhy what remains but new Nets for the purpose—
Th'Emperor.—
Enter Valentinian.
Emp.
VVhat have you brought Her?
Chy.
Brought her, Sir! Alas,
VVhat would you do with such a Cake of Ice
VVhom all the Love i'th' Empire cannot thaw.
18
Deaf to all Promises, dead to Desire,
A tedious stickler for her Husband's Rights,
VVho like a Beggars Curr hath brought her up
To fawn on him, and bark at all besides.
Emp.
Lewd and ill-manner'd Fool, wer't not for fear
To do thee good by mending of thy Manners
I'd have thee whipt! Is this th'account you bring
To ease the Torments of my restless mind.
Balb.
Kneeling.
Cæsar! In vain your Vassals have endeavour'd,
By Promises, Perswasions, Reasons, VVealth,
All that can make the firmest Virtue bend
To alter Her. Our Arguments like Darts
Shot in the Bosom of the boundless Air
Are lost and do not leave the least Impression:
Forgive us, if we fail'd to overcome
Vertue that could resist the Emperor.
Emp.
You impotent Provokers of my Lust,
VVho can incite and have no power to help,
How dare you be alive and I unsatisfied,
VVho to your Beings have no other Title
Nor least Hopes to preserve 'em, but my Smiles;
VVho play like poysonous Insects all the Day
In the warm Shine of Me your Vital Sun;
And when Night comes must perish—
VVretches! whose vicious Lives when I withdraw
The Absolute Protection of my Favour
VVill drag you into all the Miseries
That your own Terrors, Universal Hate,
And Law, with Jayls and VVhips can bring upon you,
As you have fail'd to satisfie my VVishes,
Perdition is the least you can expect
VVho durst to undertake and not perform!
Slaves! was it fit I should be disappointed?
Yet live—
Continue infamous a little longer;
You have deserv'd to end. But for this once
I'l not tread out your nasty snuffs of Life;
But had your poysonous Flatteries prevail'd
19
A Virtue that adds Fury to my Flames!
Dogs had devour'd e're this your Carcasses;
Is that an Object fit for my Desires
VVhich lies within the reach of your persuasions!
Had you by your infectious Industry
Shew'd my Lucina frail to that degree,
You had been damn'd for undeceiving me,
But to possess her chaste and uncorrupted,
There lies the Joy and Glory of my Love!
A Passion too refin'd for your dull Souls,
And such a Blessing as I scorn to owe
The gaining of to any but my self:
Haste strait to Maximus, and let him know
He must come instantly and speak with me;
The rest of you wait here—I'le play to night.
You, sawcy Fool! send privately away
[To Chylax.
For Lycias hither by the Garden Gate,
That sweet-fac'd Eunuch that sung
In Maximus's Grove the other day,
And in my Closet keep him till I come.
[Exit Valent.
Chyl.
I shall, Sir.
'Tis a soft Rogue, this Lycias
And rightly understood,
Hee's worth a thousand Womens Nicenesses!
The Love of VVomen moves even with their Lust,
VVho therefore still are fond, but seldom just:
Their Love is Usury, while they pretend,
To gain the Pleasure double which they lend.
But a dear Boy's disinterested Flame
Gives Pleasure, and for meer Love gathers pain;
“In him alone Fondness sincere does prove,
And the kind tender Naked Boy is Love.
[Exit.
| Valentinian | |