Marciano ; or, The Discovery :: :: University of Virginia Library

I take it so indeed, Ladies, you must excuse me if I do you
the honour to visit you sometimes; for my mother
sayes, Son, saith she, it is high time you were married—I hope you
know my meaning.

Chrys.

Sir, you shall be welcome.

Pant.

I hope so indeed:—For, I vow I would never desire
a handsomer wife then you are.—I protest, Mistress, you are
very handsome, though I say it that should not say it.

Mar.

You flatter highly, Sir.

Pant.

Not indeed.

Chrys.

Well, Sir, as for your visit, I shall admit it; but for
marriage—you know—

Pant.

Ho—I know well enough, you are governed by your
friends; but I shall tickle them I warrand you, let me alone for
that.

Mar.

It is the safest way, Sir.

Pant.

So—then forsooth, since I know the way to your
Chamber, I will come and see you every day; now because my mother
is sick and taking physick, I must go home and keep company
with her, else I'l assure you, I would not leave you thus—
farewell.

Exit.
Mar.

You see them Gentlemen, Cassio and Leonardo, as we
passed along, Sister?

Chrys.

But I hope they did not know us, Sister, 'tis not fit we
entertain them, they are not matches for us.

Mar.

But I warrand you, they'l render us a visit shortly.

Chrys.

I should rather wish they would abstain, Sister, you
know our friends will not rellish it well; I should be very well content
of this Signior Pantaloni for my husband; I hope no body
hears us.

Mar.

True, for although the others may be Gentelmen of good
parts, yet I know wee are design'd for them Signiors; so the Lady
Saromanca told me last day.

Chrys.

And wee must follow their advice you know Sister.

Mar.

Yes indeed, and reason for it.

Enter Manduco hastily.
Man.

Hum—etiam confabulantes inveni: I have it in my
pocket, that will afford them new cogitations,

Chrys.

Mr. Manduco, you are welcome, pray, how does my
aunt?

Man.

I have a little negotiation with you in private; for I am legate
from Signior Becabunga, (my sometimes pupill) as more amply
shall breifly appear. And how think
you—marry thus, here's a letter for you—

takes out a Letter out of a tobacco-box.
Chrys.

I hope he is in good health, Sir.

Man.

O! yes, he is valetudinary, herein he presents (as I cojecture)

his amorous servitude to you both; he will be in Town
next week, for I'l assure you he flagitates to see you: I hope you
will afford him gracious entertainment—hum—hum—

Chrys.

He shall be welcome, Sir.

Man.

I will assure you, Ladies, he is an adolescent of eximious
candor and egregious integrity: I have been at much pains and labour
in educating him, I may say, ever since his pubertie: but
now that he is come to the years of intelligency, I have given him
over—

Mar.

He will make us in love with him e're we see him.

Man.

But, for your further satisfaction, I shall, paucissimis, insinuate
to you the method of his education.—Primo, then, when
he came under my gubernation, which was about the year of his
age, Anno Domini, (let me see) millesimo, sexcentesimo, quadragesimo
sexto, it being then Leap-year; he was, inquam, a very perverse
youth, vitiat in his behaviour, knowing nothing but what he
had learned amongst the ancilla's (what d'you call 'em) Chambermaids.

Chrys.

Now, Sister, you shall have him anatomized to you.

Man.

But, so soon as I took him in hand, I did so belabour his
nates with my ferula, that profecto I have whipped him, whip'd
him thus—for half an hour together, untill his abundant lachrymation
had mov'd compassion: but, I knew that was the only way
to disciplinate him—

Chrys.

Indeed Sir—

Man.

—So, I say, having taught him his Orthographia, Etymologia
and Prosodia, having alwayes a sollicitous eye over his behaviour:
I did learn him to make his reverence, not as your Monsieurs
do, but more gravely in this manner; next, how to
congees, &c.
take a Lady by the hand;—So—afterwards how to kiss,—
in this fashion—

Mar.

A pretty method indeed.

Man.

I gave him, as I say, wholsom admonitions, cautions, instructions,
and now and then some little exhortations. Primo,
Not to be garrulous; for, (believe me, Ladies) Vir sapit, qui
pauca loquitur; you are alwayes wisest when you hold your peace.
And then with what gesture to discourse, gravely, as you see me,

and like a School-man; (for, I have been sometimes Hypodidascalus
in the great School of Florence, imo Hypodidasculus, Ladies)
but, as I said, I learned him to be concinne aud terse in his habit,
with hair in the same longitude, as you see mine. Secundo, How
to keep a clean mundified nose, not with his sleeve, but with his sudarium,
or handkercher—

Mar.

He intends to weary us I think.

Man.

Tertio, As I said—(hoc agatur serio) tertio, as I
said tertio, inquam, to eat his meat with a great deal of circumspection
and neatly; that is to say, with one finger and his thumb
—thus—Quarto, To contain himself à capite scalpendo; from
scratching of his head, (give ear I beseech you, Ladies, for it concernes
you.)

Mar.

He thinks we are his Schollars.

Chrys.

Peace, Sister, let us hear him out.

Man.

Quarto, As I said, (take heed) Quinto, I say, and
maximè à crepitando & eructando; that is, from emitting ventositics
or flatuosities from his concavities: with several other admonitions,
according to the dictates of Joannes Sulpitius, and Guilielmus
Lillius, my two very good and learned friends—

Mar.

Will he never make an end?

Man.

But, above all, Ladies, for respect to his friends (because
I am incarcerate with obligations to all his paternal Relatiosn) I did
alwayes exhort him to abstain from tripudiation or dauncing, gladiation
or fencing, lusitation or gaming, equitation or riding, & sic
de cæteris; So that now he is one of the best educate youths in Florence,
else Ego operam & oleam perdiai.

Chrys.

He is very much obliged to you, Sir.

Man.

Now, I will not molest you with a more ample relation
of his good qualifications; but, he is a friend to modesty and chastity,
an enemy to superbity, in potu moderatus; but, notandum—
he is most locuplete both in argentary and frumentary rents—
not given to luxury or venery—no, not at all to venery—

Mar.

What a tedious harangue for nothing.

Man.

But, (to conclude, because now the time is gone) as I said
before, as I say now, and I hope your intelligence does comprehend
when he comes into Town, I shall concomitate him to your domicile

diversory, chamber, cubicular, or what you please, and—so
farewell.

Exit.
Chrys.

What a meer Pedant!

Mar,

As ever liv'd, Sister, I cannot love him.

Chrys.

Peace, Sister, let us appear civil before him; for, he is
imployed by that Gentleman Becabunga's friends, to sound our
humours I warrand you—

And what our friends have ordain'd, we will do,
What e're it be, there's reason for it too.

Exeunt.