 | The Siege and Surrender of Mons |  |
SCENE II.
The Scene the chief Street in Mons.Enter six Burgers with Pioneers and other Rabble.
1. Burger.
(looking up).
You Sirrah, untile that House quickly, or I shall
untile your Brain-pan for you—you Dog.
2. Burg.
What's the meaning of your practice Neighbour, d'ye think
the French when they've taken the Town, will come in at the Top of the
House?
1. Burg.
No, but they will send their Messengers beforehand to give us
notice of their coming, by a very civil Person, in the shape of a Bomb.
2. Burg.
And how does he deliver his Message?
1. Burg.
Truly in a very passionate manner, he is so very full of rage.
that he bursts with it.
3. Burg.
Why he speaks his mind very plainly then.
1. Burg.
Ay and very loudly too when I was at Genoa, the French Fleet
gave us a Visit en passant, and sent us such a number of these fiery Messengers,
that the Town could hardly afford 'em house-room.
4. Burg.
Unpave that Quadrangle quickly, we'll endeavour they shall
fall soft, for they are very apt to break their Bones when they come
down.
5. Burg.
This new way of House-breaking came up but very lately
sure.
And the Devil on't is, there's no Statute against it,
But when are we to expect this French Visit?
1. Burg.
They are now within 4 Leagues of the place and cannot fail
Of being here by to morrow noon.
5 Burg.
Well, Heaven be prais'd we are pretty well provided to entertain
'em, our Governour is a Wise Discreet Prince, his Officers Trusty,
and I hope we have no Rogues amongst our selves.
2 Burg.
Only our foolish pity is apt to betray us in Complacense to the
Women; my Wife does so desire me to keep out of Harms way, that she
grows perfectly troublesom.
6 Burg.
For my part I could wish 'em all in Purgatory while the Business
is over.
1 Burg.
Ay, and the Priests too with 'em, for they are never asunder,
since the noise of the French's coming, the Confessionalls and Churches are
so cramm'd with 'em, that one cannot get a Priest now to a sick man's Bed,
and so the poor Wretch must go out of the World without Extream
Unction.
6 Burg.
For my part I have an indifferent Opinion of my Wives Honesty,
but I cannot swear for the Chastity of her Confessor, since by a mistake he
show'd her Aretines Postures instead of the Rosary.
Enter a Rabble bringing in 3 French Spies.
1 Rabble.
Bring 'em along, bring 'em along—we'l give 'em Beef to
their Vinegar.
2 Rabble.
Will nothing go down with you ye Dogs but Gun-Powder
Sawce.
2 Burg.
The Occasion of this Tumult quickly Sirrah.
1 Rabble.
Why Sir, these very civil Gentleman foreseeing the Miserie
we were to suffer in the Siege designed to have Blown up our great Magazine
of Powder.
1 Burg.
Horrible Rogues!
2 Rab.
Nay Sir, the very Lighted Match was discovered within 9 inches
of the Train.
3 Burg.
By which it may be easily guess't they are not 10 inches from
Halter.
1 Rab.
The design Sir was laid in the Garden of Malheur the French
Lawyer, but he has troop't off and so sav'd his Bacon.
Shall Villanies like this remain unpunisht?
Rather then such designing Hell-Born Rogues
Should want due punishment I'd once turn Hang-man,
But lest our Passions should exceed Discretion
Carry the Rascals to the Governour
Who is too prudent and too just a Prince
To let such Treacheries pass unrewarded.
1 Rab.
Yes Sir, yes Sir, we'l conduct 'em to the Governour, and afterwards
hope to make one Holi-day to see 'em broke on the Wheel: Come
away Dogs, Rogues, Sons of Whores, come away.
[Exeunt Rabble with the Prisoners.
5 Burg.
A Lucky discovery this—the whole French Army could not do
as half the mischief as one of these was able to effect—
1 Burg.
Yet all this shall not abate one jot of my kindness for the French,
Oh methinks a Monsieurs heart would be a rare Breakfast
5 Burg.
Well Pepper'd and Salted upon a Spanish Gridiron.
Guns heard at a distance.
1 Burg.
Hear you the noise?
2 Burg.
I am not Deaf I think—well now the worst is come to the worst,
if you'll follow my example, Bury your Plate, Lock up your Wives and
Children, and with a Musket on his Shoulder, let every man be the Swiss
of his own Family.
[Exeunt.
| The Siege and Surrender of Mons | |