University of Virginia Library

SCENE II.

Enter TOXILUS and PÆGNIUM.
Tox.
Are these things plain and certain to you, boy?
Do'st understand them and remember them?

Pæg.
Better than you who taught me—

Tox.
Say you so,
You hang-dog?

Pæg.
Yes, I say so—

Tox.
Well, and what
Was it I said?

Pæg.
That, I'll tell her—

Tox.
By Pollux!
You do not know—

Pæg.
I'll wager you, I do—
Ay, and remember too—

Tox.
I'll wager you,
You cannot count your fingers—

Pæg.
If you wish
To lose, why I say, done.

Tox.
I'd rather have
A truce—

Pæg.
Why let me go then—

Tox.
Go, I bid you.
See that you be at home, before I think
You there—

Pæg.
I will—

Tox.
And whither going now?

Pæg.
Why home, that I may be at home, before
You think me there—

Tox.
You rascal of a boy—
I'll give you something you may call your own.

Pæg.
How ill are faithful services rewarded!
How difficult it is to prove them faithful!

Tox.
Well, go now—

Pæg.
Sir, you shall commend my speed—

Tox.
Be sure to Lemniselene herself
You give these tables, Pægnium; and tell her
That which I bid you—

Soph.
Why then don't I go
Where I was order'd—[apart.]


Pæg.
I am going, sir—

Tox.
Well, go then—Now I'll hie me home—
Be careful in this business—Run and fly—

[Exit Toxilus.
Pæg.
That's what an ostrich in the circus does—
Well—He's gone in—But who's this coming hither?

Soph.
'Tis Pægnium sure!

Pæg.
Why this is her own slave
To whom I'm sent—This is Sophoclidisca.

Soph.
He is a pickle dog, as I've been told—
I'll speak to him—

Pæg.
At this bar, I must stop—

Soph.
Pægnium, my sweet boy, hail!—What art about?
How fares it with you?

Pæg.
Yes, the gods will favour me—
They will, Sophoclidisca.

Soph.
And me too,
Will they not also favour?—

Pæg.
I don't know—
But if they act as you deserve, by Hercules!
They'll hold you in their hate; torment you too.

Soph.
Don't be abusive—

Pæg.
It is no abuse
To speak the truth—

Soph.
What are you doing?

Pæg.
Standing
Opposite you, and looking at a jade.

Soph.
I'm sure I never knew so vile a boy.

Pæg.
What mischief do I?—Whom have I abus'd?—

Soph.
Why, when occasion offers, every one—

Pæg.
None ever thought so—

Soph.
And yet many know it.

Pæg.
O brave!—

Soph.
And O brave too!

Pæg.
'Tis by yourself
You judge of others—

Soph.
I confess, I'm fit
For such a family as I am in;
A family of no repute, a pandar's—

Pæg.
You've said enough—

Soph.
But what are you?—Confess
You're what I guess'd—

Pæg.
And was I such, I would—

Soph.
March off—You've got the victory—

Pæg.
March you—

Soph.
First, tell me one thing—Whither are you going?

Pæg.
And whither you?—

Soph.
That you should answer me.
I ask'd you first—

Pæg.
But you shall last be answer'd.

Soph.
I'm not going far—

Pæg.
Nor I—

Soph.
But where, you rascal!

Pæg.
Unless you tell me first, you'll never know
From me—

Soph.
Nor you, if you don't open first—

Pæg.
And is it so?—

Soph.
And is it so? say I—

Pæg.
You're a vile jade—

Soph.
And you as vile a rascal.

Pæg.
Why so I should be—

Soph.
And so should not I!

Pæg.
What say you!—Jade of jades, are you determin'd
Not to inform me whither you are going?—

Soph.
And thou, thou rogue of rogues, hast thou resolv'd
The same?

Pæg.
'Tis like for like—Since you're resolv'd,
Be gone—I would not give a rush to know—
Farewell—

Soph.
Nay stay—

Pæg.
But I'm in haste—

Soph.
And so
Am I—

Pæg.
What stays you?

Soph.
And what is't stays you?

Pæg.
Nothing.

Soph.
Your hand then.

Pæg.
Say which hand? What this?

[giving his right-hand.
Soph.
No—Where's your left? your pilfering hand I mean.

Pæg.
At home—I've brought no other with me hither—

Soph.
Yes, but you have.

Pæg.
Let me alone, enticer—

Soph.
Suppose I love you—

Pæg.
You'll but lose your labour.

Soph.
How so?

Pæg.
Because, where love is not return'd,
It is no love at all.

Soph.
Be vigilant,
While youth and beauty yet are in their prime;
Lest when your hair turns grey, you still remain
A slave—As yet, you weigh scarce eighty pounds—

Pæg.
Spirit, not weight's the thing—I'm wasting time—

Soph.
How so?—

Pæg.
How so?—Because I teach my grannam.
But I stay loitering here—

Soph.
Stay—Do—

Pæg.
You teize me.

Soph.
Why so I will, unless you quickly tell me,
Whither it is you're going.

Pæg.
To your house—

Soph.
And I, in troth, was going unto yours—

Pæg.
Why there?—

Soph.
What's that to you?

Pæg.
You shall not go
Unless I know—

Soph.
You are impertinent—

Pæg.
That's my delight to be—You ne'er shall screw
That out of me, that you may be beforehand—

Soph.
'Tis painful to contend with you in mischief.

Pæg.
You're a bad piece of goods.

Soph.
What is't you fear?—

Pæg.
The same as you—

Soph.
Then tell me what it is?

Pæg.
I am forbid to tell it any man;
The dumb shall first divulge it.

Soph.
I am under
The same restraint—forbid to tell it any—
The dumb shall first divulge it—And now let us,
Upon our oaths not to divulge it, trust
The secret to each other—

Pæg.
Well I know,
All bawds are light of faith; than spider's legs
Their faith is lighter—

Soph.
Tell me, and I'll love you.

Pæg.
Tell me, and I'll love you—

Soph.
I would not have you
To be in love—

Pæg.
To follow your advice
Is easy to me—

Soph.
For your love, pray keep it
Within yourself—

Pæg.
Keep you this secret too—

[shewing a tablet.
Soph.
It shall be kept—

Pæg.
It shall: for you shan't know it—

Soph.
This tablet's for your master Toxilus—

Pæg.
Go—He's at home—And these seal'd tablets here,
Are for your mistress, Lemniselene.

Soph.
What's their contents?

Pæg.
Why that if you not know,
You know as much as I—Unless, perhaps
Soft words—

Soph.
I'm going—

Pæg.
So am I—

Soph.
March on then.

[Exeunt.