University of Virginia Library

SCENE I.

Enter ERGASILUS.
It's a sad case for a poor wretch to prowl
In quest of a meal's meat, and at the last
With much ado to find one;—sadder is it,
With much ado to hunt upon the trail,
And at the last find nothing; but most sad,
To have a keen and craving appetite,
Without a morsel to appease it's longing.—
A plague upon this day!—I'd dig it's eyes out,
Had I the pow'r, it has so fill'd mankind
With enmity towards me.—Never sure
Was there a wretch so starv'd, so cram'd with hunger,
Or one, whose projects have so little prosper'd.—
I fear, my belly will keep holy-day.
Would it were hang'd for me, this scurvy trade,
This Parasite's profession!—Our young sparks
Consort not now a-days with us poor drolls;
They care not for us humble hangers-on,
Who are content to take the lowest seat
At table, who bear buffers like a Spartan,
And have no other fortune but our jests.—
Their choice is to associate with their equals,
Who, having ate with them, return the favour
At their own houses.—For themselves they cater,
Which was the province heretofore of Parasites.—
Shame on them! they will go into a brothel
Barefaced, nor muffled up, but all as publickly
As magistrates pass sentence on the guilty,
Unveil'd, in open court.—Buffoons they now
Count nothing worth; but they are all self-lovers.
For when I went from hence a while ago;
I met some of these young men at the Forum.
Good day, said I!—Where shall we dine together?
No answer.—What! will no one speak? says I,
None promise me a dinner?—Silent all,
As they were dumb.—Nay, not a single smile.
Where shall we sup then?—Still no invitation.
One of my best jests, such as heretofore
Have got me suppers for a month, I then
Repeat them.—Not a soul vouchsafed to smile.
I then found out, 'twas a concerted matter:
Not one would deign to imitate a dog,
When he's provok'd:—But if they did not chuse
To laugh outright, at least they might have shewn
Their teeth, as though they smiled.—Finding myself
The scoff and mockery of these sparks, I leave them,
March up to others, others still, and others;
All the same thing! all in confederacy,
Like the oil merchants in the market.—Well then,
Seeing myself thus fool'd, I came back hither.—
More parasites were sauntering at the Forum,
And to as little purpose as my self.—
I am determin'd, that the law shall right me
Against all those, who join in combination
To have me starv'd.—I will appoint a day
For them to give their answer.—I will have
Large satisfaction.—Dear as are provisions,
They shall be fined at least ten entertainments.—
Now to the port, where I have yet one hope
Of feasting:—if that fail me, I'll return
To this old Hegio, and his scurvy supper.

[Exit.