 | The Taxes |  |
SCENE II.
Jonathan's Coffee-House.SAMPSON, GRIPE, and TRANSFER, in a room by themselves.
SAMPSON.
Here's nothing but bad news!—I find 'tis true,
This man has been at court—our faithful spy
Met him in his return, and he reports,
His chearful looks declar'd his scheme's success—
What he's contriving there, 'tis time must shew—
But 'tis agreed, our Princess asks his counsels,
Admits him to her closet—He's already
The peoples idol—as he passes by them
'Tis through a shower of blessings!—yet 'tis said,
His looks retain that plain, and humble cast,
As would persuade the love that follows him,
(Which is his every act's interpreter,)
The zeal that seeks their good, would spare their praises.
I hear he's got a scheme to—mend the times!
That is to say, to make 'em worse for us—
He's a weak man to think on't—'Tis a work,
I hope, beyond his skill—but—if you say
The people's voice has join'd him—a general outcry
May do some hurt—
TRANSFER.
And that's the case at present—
The town, grown frantick, with this scheme of his,
Treats us, indeed, but scurvily—have you heard
Th'opprobrious names they give us? We're compar'd
To flies, that bask, and fatten on corruption—
We're call'd the sponges, that have drank too deep
The dews, that should have water'd larger spots.
Nay, what is worse, (the soul-mouth'd scandal, rising
Still to a higher pitch) we're call'd, the feeders
Of bloated bribery, sellers of state poison,
Which, lurking in the blood, the nerves unbraces
Of gallant resolution—
GRIPE.
Why, Mr. Transfer, this will bear an action—
And Mr. Sampson, won't you join with me
To sue such folks for slander?—
Mr. Gripe,
We'll wave it for the present—Our business now
Takes a more general scope—we first must search
What this scheme is, before we are prepar'd
To countermine it—therefore, let us each
Disperse ourselves, and lye in rumour's way—
Th'intelligence we meet with, will determine
What we have more to do.—
GRIPE.
Yes, yes; come, let us be going.—
[As they are going, they are met by Old Mr. Politick, who returns with them and they seat themselves.—
OLD POLITICK.
Your servant, gentlemen.
GRIPE.
O! Mr. Politick, your humble servant—you
are the very man I was thinking of—I know it
would be doing great injustice to your good intelligence,
to suppose you are a stranger to these reports—
that Lord Worthy—is—attempting—
something—at court—so I sha'nt trouble you
with that piece of news—but, to come to the
point—why sir—we have some reason to be
to break in, (it seems) upon our business—come
—come—we look upon you, as one of us—
we have let you into all our secrets—and you
must own, you have been a considerable gainer—
But now, as you are an able and wise man, 'tis
your turn to do us a piece of service—you must
give us your advice.—
POLITICK.
What, gentlemen, I conceive you are afraid
this Lord Worthy is going to sink your markets—
phoo—phoo—phoo—what can he attempt against
such money'd gentlemen as you are—I know
there are some weak people, who dream of more
influence than they have, and think themselves
qualify'd to do great things—But let me tell you,
to prescribe alterations in the present measures, at
least, to do it with success, requires a better judgment
than Lord Worthy's furnish'd with—there
may be as wise heads in the world as his—But
pray, have you learn'd any thing certain of what
regulations he is driving at?—
SAMPSON.
No, Mr. Politick, he keeps his counsels lock'd
up in the Princesses closet, their conferences together,
are close and private; only, if we may credit
the best accounts we can meet with, there's some
black weather, rising from that quarter, that
threatens us with a storm.
I hear, indeed, that Lord Worthy has been graciously
receiv'd by the Princess; I must say, this
has not a good look—and, 'tis generally reported,
that he is greatly beloved by the people—This is
likewise a very bad circumstance!—He is a man,
they say, that has no regard for his interest—the
good of his country, and that of his fellow citizens,
as he proudly calls the people, is the only object,
he pretends, that puts him upon taking these measures
—and, you know, there's no rightly managing
a man of such principles—But, let me consider
—a place!—could not we contrive to get a
place for him?—No—a place would have no good
effect upon him—But let me think—a new title
—no—no—an offer of this kind would be
thrown away upon him; because,'tis his constant
declaration, that there is no honour, but in an
honourable action—so I am afraid we must let
him alone—there is, I say, no good to be done
with one of his character.—
GRIPE.
So I find at last, his good character is to ruin
us—but what—if he is so shallow, as not to mind
his own interest, I do say he has no business to
interfere with ours—let me tell you, Mr. Politick,
whatever he may pretend to be—we are
certainly much better friends to the government,
than he is, or can be—This leads me to a thought
to so wise a man as you are—But, suppose now,
you was to write a pamphlet, in which you was
to represent us, as the props, or, I think it would
sound better, if you call'd us the Pillars of
the state.—
POLITICK.
I thank you, Mr. Gripe, for that excellent hint,
the thought may be work'd up to carry a good
argument—and I'll take care to dress it in a
proper light.—
TRANSFER.
But, Mr. Politick, whatever is proper to be
done, must not be delay'd—this Lord Worthy,
by all report, has a plaguy long head of his own,
and this good character you have given him, may
be apt to fix him in our Princesses good graces—
this is what we must prevent—if possible—and if
something is not instantly done, it may be too
late to seek a remedy—Come—come—come—
you must exert yourself—you must remember 'tis
now or never.—
POLITICK.
Well, well, the business shall be done—I must
say that for myself, I have met with as difficult
jobs as this, which I have rubb'd through, before
now; and so to make short of it, you shall
soon see me play him such a trick!—that, if I have
Let me see—as we are all friends, I'll let you
into the secret—I'll now go this instant, and take
care that it shall be publish'd, through city, town,
and country,—that this Lord Worthy is an enemy
to the government, an errant Jacobite.
GRIPE.
Right!—quite right! Mr. Politick!—a Jacobite!
—an excellent contrivance!—He is endeavouring
to make the times better! hah! hah! hah!
—make the times better—we know what he means
by better times.—a Jacobite! an excellent thought!
—However, though we know he is perfectly
innocent of the charge—yet this, Mr. Politick,
you understand me, will be a sufficient handle for
us, to spread such reports of him—an excellent
thought!—Besides, a fellow that is for breaking
in upon our measures, must necessarily be a friend
to the Pretender.—Well well, don't let us lose
time—pray, Mr. Politick, be expeditious—
a Jacobite! hah! hah! hah! an excellent plot!
[Exeunt.
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