 | The Successfull Straingers |  |
The Third ACT.
SCENE. I.
Enter Guzman and Farmosa.Guz.
At Nine do'st say again, to Night?
Far.
Yes, I must be Mistriss of the Ceremonies again:
Guz.
He may be Conducted into Another World!
[Aside.
Far.
Well, really he's a sweet Creature, and his expressions are refin'd
like loaf-Sugar, they dissolve in the Ear till the mouth waters.
Guz.
What a luscious Consort I have:
[aside.
Well Farmosa he may out-talk me,
But he can do no more then other Men.
Far.
I know not that, few things know their strength till they're
put to't.
Guz.
Thou would'st work him finely if thou had'st him at thy discretion,
Thou art for spurring a Free-Horse to death.
Far.
Well, Certainly he's an Angell, I never saw so Divine a Creature.
Guz.
What hast thou an Itching to a Deity?
Far.
Why not, if he would accept of my frail Mortality;
Guz.
Frail indeed,
[aside.
Well I must be gone,
The Morning's nimble and gets ground of us,
Adieu!
Far.
Why in such hast?
[Bell Rings.
Guz.
My Master will want me, heark, the Bell
Rings to Morning Exercise, I shall be discover'd:
Far.
Why People are not so Religious of late,
To break their Sleep to serve Heav'n:
Guz.
'Tis the 5 a Clock bell:
Far.
Why let it be the 6 a Clock Bell, it Rings not for you, you are
eager at Every call but mine.
Guz.
Nay Farmosa 'tis Reputation:
Far.
'Tis your uneasiness; but go and you will;
I had a piece of Barbary-Gold too, might have bore you Company—
Guz.
Well, I can deny thee nothing—
Far.
That I pay for; A Vengeance take ye for Insulters,
But 'tis the Fate of us all, we must lay up
When we are young, If we expect
Any pleasure when we are old:
Guz.
I'le be sure to see you to Night:
Far.
You won't:
Guz.
Will the Night Come?
[hugs her.
Far.
Well then I'le keep this till then,
And give you another with it:
Guz.
Nay, faith I'm poor.
Far.
You'l not see me till its spent:
I am made use of like Parents, when the Children want money they're
as diligent as Parish-Officers against Christmas, but when they have it
they so itch to be gone.
Guz.
Why I would grow to thee if possible.
Far.
Well, there 'tis; you may drink my health out on't tho', and
remember the Founder when you turn off the Cups:
Guz.
Thy health! why, there's no tast without it. Thou art the
Anchovy to my Liquor, the Rellishing bit, the tempter to the other
Bottle, the Tobacco to my Pipe, the catch that makes me merry, the
Theam of my Wit. With the juice of the Grape thou swim'st in my
Brain, And art washt every Night by Sparkling Shampain, which dances
i'th' Glass like the Beam in thy Eye, and till I am dead-drunk my
Wine never dies.
[Farmosa call'd within]
Far.
Adds life, my Mistriss up so early, away, and forget not night
as you hope for t'other Barbary.
[Exit.
Guz.
Oh! you who other ways your means receive,
Pitty the Drudgery by which we live.
[Exit.
Enter Dorothea in a Night-Gown.
Dor.
I cannot sleep;
My Faculties are all upon the watch,
As if my Soul were Jealous of a Mischief
Like Midnight-Nurses o're a sickly Patient,
They doze and nod and start at every sound;
There's not a Tatling measurer of the time,
But I have number'd with it every hour;
Oh Silvio, Silvio, if this be not love,
Some evill Hagg has charm'd thy Dorothea.
Lop.
Morrow Jewell! Health to thy early rising,
Art thou for Church this Morning?
Dor.
Not till towards Noon, if it please you, Sir:
Dor.
Ay, with all my heart, its indifferent to me if ever thou goest
again; but what's to be done in this bus'ness concerning the match
with Carlos?
Dor.
I thought you had resolv'd Sir, I was ordering his Presents all
to be return'd to him.
Lop.
Marry, Heav'n forbid, why they are worth 5000 Crowns.
Dor.
Were they worth Millions Sir, 'tis Mercenary, and base to keep
'em, after the Person who presented 'em's discharg'd from her he gave
'em too, 'tis poor—
Lop.
Yes to be without 'em, prethee tell not me of base and Mercenary,
did'st ever know a project in thy life go on without cost? Besides
his Father has sent to me and desires another Conference.
Dor.
After so base a usage in your last Sir, will you see him?
Lop.
Why, I don't know, he has sent me a hundred of Barbary-Gold.
Dor.
And will you take 'em Sir?
Lop.
Hum—Why 'twould be an affront to return 'em whether I see
him or no:
Dor.
Fye Sir, Fye:
Lop.
Fools face go, now I think on't, yet go in since you wont go out
to Prayers, and leave the management to me:
Dor.
For Heav'ns sake Sir:
Lop.
For your own sake, will you do as I'le have you, or 'twill be
worse for you:
Dor.
Good Sir;
Lop.
Get you in when I bid you:
Dor.
Consider,
Lop.
Get you in,
Dor.
Will you not hear me?
Lop.
No, get you in:
Dor.
Oh Silvio—
[sighs,
Lop.
Ay, ay, go, go, call upon your Saints, and ask their advice;
Dor.
Can you believe, Sir?
Lop.
Can I, yes, how should I be sav'd else? get you in I say:
Dor.
But Sir—
Lop.
Why, what will you neither serve, God nor me, get you in you
peremptory baggage, get you in—
Well what's to be done in this Case? I have made a rash vow, but they
are better broke then kept, when 'tis to Advantage; I know this
ther then he should fall under any danger for the loss of her. I will now
demand just as much more with his Son as I did, and give my Daughter
but half as much as I offer'd: for 'tis usuall to make the best of ones
Goods when the first price is refused, and the Customer fond of his
Choice.
Enter Farmosa.
Far.
Sir, Don Francisco's below and desires to see you:
Lop.
Conduct him up—and d'hear, let my Servants be within call.
lest the old Bravo should quarrell again, and he's too rough for me;
on Equall terms now Lopez look about thee, and like a Cunning Usurer
at a pinch, part not with the Principle without good Interest.
Enter Don Francisco.
Fra.
Signior, you see I trust in your honour, and venture where your
Spleen might make sure work, but I believe you'r noble.
Lop.
Signior, I am a more Generous Enemy then to take advantage—
but I hope the matter being forgot we may begin as friends:
Fra.
I embrace the offer, and with this hearty Clasp here sign the
Peace.
Lop.
Bona—Signior, are you for some Liquor this morning?
Fran.
Something that will not Scald, if it please you Signior.
Lop.
Within there, some Sherry: do you like Nutmeg and Sugar?
Fran.
I think 'tis more a Cordiall so!
Lop.
Spice it d'hear? well Signior, I must Inform you, that on the
noise of breaking the Match between your Son and my Daughter, I have
had many fair offers, but matters having gone so far with us, Tho' passion
was predominant some time, I would not tho' to advantage hear
of any 'till I had tryed If you had quite forsook her.
Fran.
Signior, I am not Ignorant of her Deserts, nor of the Crowd
of Gallants would Espouse her; therefore as Prudent Travellers, when
the Roads are full send to their Inne before-hand for reception, so I did
constantly dispatch to you; still as my Son design'd to approach your
family, some token for his kind Accommodation.
Lop.
Signior, 'tis true, but now I had one from you; And like a
faithfull Host I'le entertain you; My Daughter is the best of my Apartment;
which I suppose your Son would fain repose, Come to my terms
and he shall take possession, and make his Conjugall Entry when he
pleases.
Fran.
The sooner the better; for here are dismall times coming on;
the whole worlds in a Riot, never was such Universall Confusion
known.
Look you Signior, give me a good Conscience neighbour, a good
Conscience: I look upon a man that loves his neighbour as himself, does
as he would be done by, and is contented with what he has; is in a very
fair way to Salvation.
Fran.
Now I'le hit the old Jew—
[aside
Then woe be to Usurpers and Gamesters, for they never do as they'd
be done by, and are allways Coveting their neighbours goods.
Lop.
But Pox of Politicks (and the Rogues bitter sayings against
Usurpers)
[aside]
Let us return to our Children.
Enter Farmosa.
Far.
Sir, here's a young Gentleman, a Stranger desires to be admitted.
Lop.
I am buisy.
Far.
I told him so Sir, but he'l not be answer'd, he says he must
needs see you, and is resolv'd:
Fran.
Why let him come up Signior, we can dispatch our business
when he's gone.
Lop.
Bring him up then If he will come.
Far.
Sir you may gratify your Resolution and Approach.
Enter Antonio who kisses Farmosa.
Ant.
Nay I allways pay the door-keeper.
Far.
I like the Sample so well, I would I had the whole peice.
Lop.
Now Sir your buisness:
Ant.
Sir, I know Presumption in this Country is dangerous, but
my freedom has no further end then Acquaintance, and I hope I may
satisfy you I am worthy of it.
Lop.
Sir the Satisfaction will be equally gratefull to me as my acquaintance
acceptable to you.
Ant.
Courteously Answer'd Sir.
Be pleas'd to read this Letter.
[Enter Servants with wine
[Lopez reads]
Signior Lopez, The Person that brings this is a Gentleman of Worth and
Fortune, I would have waited on him to you, but he would not admit of it; you
may redit what he says, for he is Noble: I'le wait on you at night, and tell
you more: Yours to command, Gomez.
I must inform you then—
Fran.
If you please Sir let's drink first, I hope the partaking of a
Bottle will not choak your Information.
[drinks
Ant.
Faith no Sir, I come from a Country where the Element of
Bacchus is more potent then any of the four where Religion and Politick
are the Subject of the 3d. bottle, and scarce any of 'em know either when
they'r Sober.
Lop.
Little England I warrant you:
Ant.
You are in the right Sir, 'tis as famous for Ease and Luxury as
the Life of Cleopatra, where the Courtiers get the Citizens Children,
and then marry 'em to their own, where Impudence is pregnant, and
Fools multiply, where most men dye naturall Deaths: and the youth
keep Company before they can read.
Lop.
A pretty Gentleman; Come Sir, your Glass:
Ant.
With all my heart, God bless the King, and may his Subjects
Serve him with unfeign'd hearts and constant Zeal,
May he be just to'th good o'th Common-weal,
Whist France the Scourge of the Confederates feel.
[drinks.
Lop.
Amen.
Fran.
Pray Sir how thrives that Country you came from?
Ant.
Troth Sir, 'tis in a fairer way then ever, the Prince and the
People have faith in Each other, and there's great hopes that Brittain
will retreive its long lost glory.
Lop.
I'm glad on't, and now Sir, Let me begin a health, for to tell you
a Secret; I wish 'em well Boy, for all I'm a Catholick;
May they stand by their Prince, and he Conquer their Foes,
And the Wives go as fine as they will in their Cloaths.
Ant.
Well Sir, now to my Business. I am a Gentleman whom Fortune
has bless'd early in the World, whose Family this Country is no
Stranger to, I have lain here incognito some time for want of my
Effects, which being come, I thought fit to attend on you; for they
say no man more fitting to tell his own tale then himself.
Lop.
Proceed:
Fran.
By Heav'n this Rogue is a Lover I fear,
If he be my Boys Rivall, he had better have fancy'd a Blackamore.
Ant.
My Father was Don Mihil Frederick
Sole Governour of Quitto in Peru;
I had an Elder Brother dear to him as his life,
And willing all Accomplishments might grace him,
Permitted him to Travell,
'Tis Six years since he left him;
But the two latter whether by neglect
Or the misfortunes of the Seas I know not,
Absence hoth of Son and Letters bereft him of his Life.
Lop.
Unhappy accident, I have heard nobly of him.
Ant.
He left me as being all he had,
'Tis 18. months since he dy'd:
I streight Converted what he left me
To the easyest movables I could,
And resolv'd to see the world and scarch the knowledge
Of my Brother; I have been three months in
England where I heard he was gone for Rome,
And stopping here in my pursuit of him
Which is but now four days, I have seen a
Lady who as I'm inform'd 's your Daughter;
I Love her, and If my fortune merrit her,
Which is 400000 Crowns, that and my Person
Are at her disposall.
Fran.
'Tis so, 'tis so, I see it in the Rogues Eyes
Here's more murder for the Boy.
Lop.
Four hundred thousand Crowns.
Ant.
Ay Sir, 'tis at my Lodgings in Jewells, and in Gold, But most
of it uncoyn'd.
Lop.
Some wine there! 400000. Crowns Sir,
Your health
[drinks.
Fran.
Hark you Sir, which of the Ladys is it?
Ant.
Faith Sir, I can't well enough describe her,
But I'm sure I know her If I see her; Some more wine—here my fair
Mistrisses health:
[drinks.
Fr.
Heark'e Sir, your fair Mistriss may make foul work, If it be Dorothea.
Ant.
Sir, Let her name be what it will, If I win her, I'le wear her,
and with her Fathers leave I'le venture as far as any man.
Lop.
400000. Crowns, why 'twould make a Parish of noble Venetians,
how they'd Jump at this youth now; 400000 Crowns; why 'twould
Lead their Army to Constantinople: Some wine Sir, here's to the memory
of your Father, I was allways a Lover of Orphans, and especially
those who never trusted the Bank of a City with their Fortunes.
Fran.
But Sir, will you tell me her name?
Ant.
Faith Sir I wish I could, I would repeat nothing else.
Fran.
You must draw then; perhaps I may find it in your heart
tho' your tongue is so stubborn.
Lop.
Hold Signior, and Sir excuse him, the wine is uppermost; here,
call out my Daughters.
Fran.
He shall be undermost, If he be my Sons Rivall:
Ant.
And so Conquerour over two, faith:
Sir, here's your health, I will Drink with you for her, Fight with
Fran.
Thou lyest, thou darest do neither:
Ant.
I would do all rather then loose her.
Fran.
Why you'r an Eunuch, you Dog, you can do nothing with
her.
Ant.
Yes, I will get a Boy upon her, that shall live to Cudgell thy
third and fourth Generation.
Lop.
Nay prithee, Francisco, have Patience till the Gentleman sees
her: O here they come.
Now Sir, Sand still Children, stand upright:
Feli.
That's more then the Father can; Certainly Dorothea, the old
fellow has made a good Bargain, he would never have allow'd wine
enough for all this else.
Ant.
That's She Sir.
Fran.
Which Sir?—
[Stands before him.
Ant.
Prithee give me the Sun little Alexander; for like Diogenes I
could live in a Tub and behold nothing else; 'Tis she Sir, she that
Hellen of her Sex that like poor Troy has set my heart a Flaming;
Madam may I crave the Curtesy of a first meeting?—
May I presume here too, Madam?
[Salutes Dorothea.
Fel.
Shame on this fellow, what has he done to me?
Lop.
Well; since you have made your choice Sir, it shall be layd by
for you: Go get you in Children, and Sir, pray be pleas'd to step in
with your Mistriss, I have a little business with this Gentleman which
when dispatcht I'le be with you: 400000 Crowns you mad baggage—
[to Feliciana
Go, go, Son in Law, go, don't look melancholly, Dory, Fathers eldest
Joy; I'le take care of thy fortune too I warrant thee.
Dor.
Oh Cursed Gold! how many miserable matches hast thou
made?—
[aside.
Ant.
The honour Madam to conduct you:
Fe.
I know the way back again;
Ant.
Then please to direct a Stranger, Madam:
Fe.
What the Devil ails me?
Dor.
Sister, what makes your colour change?
Fe.
Its the weakness of your Eyes:
Dor.
Ah! are you caught?
Fe.
Why, I an't in love now—
[Exit Fel.
Dor.
Yes, with a Stranger too—oh La!
Come Sir pursue, I believe you have a Critical minute!
[Ex. Do. & Ant.
Come Brother, since this Gentlemans choice is so acceptable to
you, here's prosperity to 'em.
Lop.
With all my heart:
Fra.
And if you will, my Son and he may be married together; and
one Entertainment will serve both.
Lop.
Look you Signior, your Frugality is good, but we must know
first our Bargain.
Fra.
Let it not be a dry one; Some more Wine;
Why I will come to your first proposals:
Lop.
That will never do Seignior; for look you, this Gentleman is
worth 400000 Crowns, and takes my youngest Daughter, now I will
never let my Eldest go under:
Fra.
Here's a Dog, 400000 Crowns, why how the Devill will you
make your Daughter worth such a Fortune?
Lop.
Why, this Gentleman asks me not a penny with her:
Fra.
So you would have 400000 Crowns, and not give a penny with
t'other.
Lop.
Ay!
Fra.
Ay! I'le see you damn'd first; were not you talking just now
of Conscience?
Lop.
Signior 400000 Crowns will purchase the best Conscience in
Christendom, and as the Merchant says, If you will not come to my
price, I'le keep my Commodities to my self:
Fra.
400000 Crowns, are you at a word?
Lop.
Ay!
Fra.
Wilt thou bait nothing Quaker?
Lop.
No, I'm at a word:
Fra.
Then a word and a blow—wash your face you dirty Curr you—
[Throws the Glass in's face, and draws.
And draw Heathen, Draw!
Lop.
Help, Murder, Murder.
Enter Servants and Antonio.
Ant.
What's here to do! A Sword drawn? nay, then for the honour
of the Lopez's;
Fran.
Ay! Come Rogue, I'le have about with you:
Ant.
Put up old Fellow, I shall spoyl your dancing else:
Lop.
Kill him Son-in-Law, kill him:
Fra.
Well said Conscience, Let me go dog;
Let me have but one poke at him.
Ant.
Go, get him to sleep, or send him home:
Lop.
Ay! out with him.
Fra.
Give me my mony Rogue, the 5000 Crowns my Son has presented
sent you this Morning.
Lop.
Not a farthing, they shall pay for the washing of my face,
Signior.
Fra.
Villains, Murderers, Usurers, Rogues,
that profess Christianity without Conscience, and Conscience without
Christianity—hark thee Lad, thou art a pretty fellow; ben't seduced,
he'le not give thee a penny with his Daughter, he'le Cheat thee of
every groat; Prethee stand by, and let's rob the Rogue; I'le bind him
whilst thou ly'st with his Daughters, And then we'le share his money
betwixt us.
Lop.
Away with him!
Fra.
I will sell my Soul to the Devill; but I will be reveng'd; May
thy Daughters have the small-pox till their faces look like the inside of a
Bee-Hive; May thy Servants all have Stomachs like Cormorants, mayst
thou change 'em each week and be robb'd by 'em each Month; may all
thy Bankers break, thy Ventures be lost, till thou'rt as poor in thy Person
as thou'rt in thy Spirit, and thy own Children deny thee—
Help, Murder, Treason, Fire, Assassinates, Rebells.
Ant.
He's stark mad sure?
[Servants force him off.
Lop.
Ay, something lies heavy upon his Conscience, he's a Strange
wicked fellow:
Ant.
What money was that he talkt of?
Lop.
Hang him, Blasphemer, I never had a penny of him, I scorn it—
But come Child, where's my Daughter?
Ant.
Within Sir.
Lop.
Come along then: thou shalt certainly have her,
And such a Fortune I will make her.
Ant.
I expect it Sir.
Lop.
And thou shalt have it Child—Prethee bring thy Jewells and
thy Gold, and thy and what thou hast hither—Methinks I would have
'em safe.
Ant.
So would I, therefore I shan't trust you with 'em.
Lop.
Well, prethee kiss me, thou art so like my Wife that's dead, I
must needs kiss thee.
[Hugs him.
Ant.
S'death, the old Fellow will ravish me I think;
Sir, your Daughter expects you.
Lop.
Well, never was two faces so alike: I don't believe you're a
man you Rogue, as Francisco said.
Ant.
He's dismal drunk.
Here, take care of your Master:
Lop.
Let me alone ye Rogues.
Ant.
Go carry him into Bed:
Lop.
I will go to a Whore you Rogues:
Yes Sir,
Lop.
Be sure you carry me to a Whore,
And in Her Arms I'le play,
And pass the sweet hours away,
For tho' like a Coy Virgin she lay,
I tickled her e're it was day.
[Ex. Servants.
Ant.
What a lewd old Fellow is here?
Now for the Daughter, If she have not more
Of the Champhire in her then her Father;
The Soyles so hot for me to plant in,
Yet I might save the Priest a labour by it,
And Fornication would serve my turn as well:
If she'l be kind and save the form of Wedding,
She'l have the Advantage of a wife in Bedding.
| The Successfull Straingers | |