 | The Womens Conquest |  |
The First Prologue.
Enter Angel and Underhill.Ang.
Mr.
Underhill—As I am a man of mirth, I am so overjoyed
to day, that I could caper from one end of our Stage to the
other.
Und.
I fear, Mr. Angel, you are too jocund before-hand; Wit is grown a
ticklish thing of late, and how our Play will take, is some question.
Ang.
Take, why there's no doubt of it's taking,—To which purpose be
it known to all here present, that we are to act a Farce to day, that hath sixteen
Mimicks in it, several Jack-Puddings, and Punchinellos, never presented
before, with two and thirty Dances and Jiggs a-la-mode besides.
Und.
A Farce to day, say you?
Ang.
Yes, & I hope to morrow, and to morrow, and so to the end of our lives.
Und.
Must we still persist then to fool Wit out of countenance, and so bid
farewel to good Plays and Comedy for ever?
Ang.
We must, as I take it, until there are Poets that can write them.
Und.
In the mean time, we are like to maintain a despicable Stage.
Ang.
And why so, Sir, ought not that which gets the most money, be held
the best Wit? I suppose our Company are much of that opinion.
Und.
However, as I am an Actor, and bound to honour true Mirth and
Comedy, I am so far concern'd, that I could wish the Scaramuchos, and Jack-Puddings
were sent to their proper Stages, since Plays are now grown so
greasie with French Lard, that an Actor do's not know how to handle them.
Ang.
My right reverend Comedian, you are not wise, and thus I demonstrate
it—I will play a Farce ten to one against a Comedy, Tragi-comedy,
or any Heroick Play whatsoever.
Und.
And be sure it will take?
Ang.
I told you before, that was no question—nay more, I can assure you,
that many good Wits of the Town encourage it, who damn all Plays besides.
Und.
Perhaps in compassion to us Actors, or out of contempt to the Writers
of this Age, whose Wit they judge cannot reach the elevation of their Brain.
Ang.
No matter whether it be from the Poles above, or the Poles below, I
am sure they are better then Pole-stars to us, provided they dispense their influence
often here.
Und.
And what shall become of the new Play, intended to have been this
day presented?
Ang.
Why, our Actors have soberly resolved, it shall be deferr'd
to some other time.
Und.
As I hope to act good part again, I am sorry
for it; but is it certain?
Ang.
There is nothing certain in the world,
though 'tis so concluded, unless some unexpected prohibition, or Fate hinder
it—but 'tis almost time.
We withdraw in order to our parts and properties—here comes Mr. Noakes
ready drest.
Und.
Then I perceive we shall have a Farce to purpose, and 'tis
odds, but he personates one beetle-brow'd Fellow or other.
O Mr. Noaks, you have habited your self very properly.
Noak.
According to my best apprehension, Gentlemen.
Und.
But you
should not have entred with your face grim'd, 'twill discover too much of our
Farces plot before-hand.
Noak.
There's good design in it, I warrant you.
Und.
But what shall we do for a Prologue?
Noak.
Leave that to me,
Sirs, I'le give u'm one a new way.
Ang.
Mark that, Mr. Underhill; and shall
we have a novelty in our Prologue, Mr. Noakes?
Noak.
I have devised it
purposely, because a new way is generally taking in what kind soever.
Und.
I
am much of that opinion, since I have observed that new non-sense is valued
more then old Wit.
Noak.
What think you then, if I speak to all the Judges
in the Pit by looks and grimasks?
Ang.
A rare and prodigious thought! I
have known a device like this, serve well in a Play.
Und.
And hath been
thought a good Scene too.
Noak.
And first on you Criticks, I'le leer thus,
like a Satyr; for the moderate Wits thus; for ho, ho, ho's, who laugh in
such good earnest, when there is no Jest given them, comically thus.
Enter Changling.
Und.
No more of your grimasks, good Mr. Noakes.
Noak.
And why so,
Sir?
Und.
Because I have consider'd better, and since 'tis resolv'd, we shall
have a Prologue to our Farce, here is one shall give it u'm the Farce way exactly.
[To the Changling.]
Ang.
There's nothing better—the very Pudding of our Farce that must
fill the Audience up to the throat with laughter.
Noak.
Since you will have
it so, you shall find me reasonable; I confess 'tis a pretty toyish modish way.
Und.
And what is most extraordinary, he shall dance out a Prologue.
Ang.
A Prologue to be danced, aha, aha, Boys.
[Angel leaps.]
Noak.
And I make Still-Musick with my mouth the whilst, shall I, Sirs?
Und.
'Tis not amiss; come hither, Changling, and set your feet, and looks
in order for the Prologue.
Chang.
Shall it be with my face, feet, and hands, tredoudling thus?
Omnes.
'Tis very innocent and well.
Chang.
Il'e warrant you, I'le tredoudle it so, that it shall take to purpose.
Omnes.
Musick there for the Prologue.
The Musick plays, he dances a while, then is heard a noise with Thunder and Lightning, at which time Ben. Johnson personated rises from below.
Noak.
Ha, Thunder and Lightning!—I hope the Madam Muses are not
displeas'd with us.
Ang.
But what apparition is this moving towards us?
Und.
As I am an Actor, 'tis the Genius of the old Comick Poet Ben. Johnson,
I know it by his Picture that hangs up in the Strand.
Ang.
Fly, fly, Associates, there's no being on the Stage longer, for us of the
Farce party.
[They go off several ways.]
After which Ben. Johnson personated, goes up to the Audience, and speaks
a Prologue.
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