 | The Chances |  |
17
ACT II.
SCENE I.
Enter Duke pursu'd by Petruchio, Antonio, and that Faction.Duke.
You will not all oppress me?
An.
Kill him i'th'wanton eye: Let me come to him.
Duke.
Then you shall buy me dearly.
Petr.
Say you so Sir?
An.
I say cut his Wezand, spoil his peeping:
Have at your love-sick heart Sir.
Enter Don John.
Jo.
Sure 'tis fighting.
My Friend may be engag'd: Fie Gentlemen,
This is unmanly odds.
Duke falls: Don John bestrides him.
An.
I'll stop your mouth Sir.
Jo.
Nay then have at thee freely:
There's a Plumb Sir to satisfie your longing.
Petr.
Away: I hope I have sped him: here comes rescue:
We shall be endanger'd: where's Antonio?
An.
I must have one thrust more Sir.
Jo.
Come up to me.
An.
A mischief confound your fingers.
Petr.
How is it?
An.
Well:
'Has given me my Quietus est; I felt him
In my small guts, I'm sure 'has feez'd me:
This comes of siding with you.
2 Gent.
Can you go Sir?
An.
I should go man, and my head were off,
Never talk of going.
Petr.
Come, all shall be well then.
Trampling within.
I hear more rescue coming.
18
An.
Let's turn back then;
My scull's uncloven yet, let me but kill.
Peter.
Away for heaven's sake with him.
Jo.
How is it?
Duke.
Well, Sir,
Only a little stagger'd.
Du. Fact.
Let's pursue 'em.
Duke.
No not a man I charge ye: thank's good Coat,
Thou hast sav'd me a shrew'd welcome: 'twas put home too,
With a good mind I'm sure on't.
Jo.
Are you safe then?
Duke.
My thanks to you brave Sir, whose timely valour,
And manly courtesie came to my rescue.
Jo.
Ye had foul play offer'd ye, and shame befall him
That can pass by oppression.
Duke.
May I crave Sir,
But thus much honor more, to know your name?
And him I am so bound to?
Jo.
For the Bond Sir,
'Tis every good man's tye: to know me further
Will little profit ye; I am a stranger,
My Country Spain, my name Don John, a Gentleman
That came abroad to travell.
Duke.
I have heard Sir,
Much worthy mention of ye, yet I find
Fame short of what ye are.
Jo.
You are pleased Sir,
To express your Courtesie: may I demand
As freely what you are, and what mischance
Cast you into this danger?
Duke.
For this present
I must desire your pardon: you shall know me
E're it be long Sir, and a nobler thanks,
Than now my Will can render.
Jo.
Your Will's your own Sir.
Duke.
What is't you look for Sir, have you lost any thing?
Jo.
Onely my hat i'th'Scuffle; sure these fellows
Were night-snaps.
Duke.
No, believe, Sir: pray use mine,
19
Jo.
No Sir.
Duke.
Indeed ye shall, I can command another:
I do beseech you honor me.
Jo.
Well Sir then I will,
And so I'll take my leave.
Duke.
Within these few daies
I hope I shall be happy in your knowledge.
Till when I love your memory.
[Exit cum suis.
Jo.
I yours.
Enter Frederick.
This is some noble fellow.
Fre.
'Tis his Tongue sure.
Don John?
Jo.
Don Frederick?
Fre.
Y'are fairly met Sir?
I thought ye had been a Bat-fowling: prethee tell me,
What Revelations hast thou had to night,
That home was never thought of?
Jo.
Revelations?
I'll tell thee Frederick. But before I tell thee,
Settle thy understanding.
Fre.
'Tis prepared Sir.
Jo.
Why then mark what shall follow. This night Frederick,
This bawdy night.
Fre.
I thought no less.
Jo.
This blind night,
What dost thou think I have got?
Fre.
The Pox it may be.
Jo.
Would 'twere no worse: ye talk of Revelations,
I have got a Revelation will reveal me
An errant Coxcomb whil'st I live.
Fre.
What is't?
Thou hast lost nothing?
Jo.
No, I have got I tell thee.
Fre.
What hast thou got?
Jo.
One of the Infantry, a Child.
Fre.
How?
Jo.
A chopping Child, man.
Fre.
Give you joy Sir.
20
A lump of lewdness Frederick that's the truth on't:
This Town's abominable.
Fre.
I still told ye John
Your whoring must come home; I councell'd ye:
But where no grace is—
Jo.
'Tis none of mine, man.
Fre.
Answer the Parish so.
Jo.
Cheated introth.
Peeping into a house, by whom I know not,
Nor where to find the place again: no Frederick
'Tis no poor one,
That's my best comfort, for 't has brought about it
Enough to make it man.
Fre.
Where is't?
Jo.
At home.
Fre.
A saving Voyage: But what will you say Signior,
To him that searching out your serious worship,
Has met a stranger fortune?
Jo.
How good Frederick?
A militant Girle to this Boy would hit it.
Fre.
No mine's a nobler venture: what do you think Sir
Of a distressed Lady, one whose beauty
Would over-sell all Italy?
Jo.
Where is she—
Fre.
A Woman of that rare behaviour,
So qualify'd, as Admiration
Dwells round about her: of that perfect Spirit—
Jo.
I marry Sir.
Fre.
That admirable Carriage,
That sweetness in discourse; young as the Morning,
Her blushes staining his.
Jo.
But where's this Creature?
Shew me but that.
Fre.
That's all one she's forth-coming,
I have her sure Boy.
Jo.
Heark ye Frederick,
What truck betwixt my infant?
Fre.
'Tis too light Sir,
Stick to your charge good Don John, I am well.
Jo.
But is there such a Wench?
Fre.
First tell me this,
Did you not lately as you walk'd along,
21
To do offence?
Jo.
Yes marry, and they urg'd it
As far as they had spirit.
Fre.
Pray go forward.
Jo.
A Gentleman I found engag'd amongst 'em,
It seems of noble breeding, I'm sure brave mettal,
As I return'd to look you I set in to him,
And without hurt (I thank Heaven) rescu'd him,
Fre.
My work's done then:
And now to satisfie you there is a Woman,
Oh John, there is a Woman—
Jo.
Oh where is she?
Fre.
And one of no less worth than I told ye;
And which is more, faln under my protection.
Jo.
I am glad of that; forward sweet Frederick.
Fre.
And which is more than that, by this nights wandring,
And which is most of all, she is at home too Sir.
Jo.
Come let's be gone then.
Fre.
Yes, but 'tis most certain,
You cannot see her John.
Jo.
Why?
Fre.
She has sworn me,
That none else shall come near her: not my Mother
Till some doubts are clear'd.
Jo.
Not look upon her? what Chamber is she in?
Fre.
In ours.
Jo.
Let's go I say:
A Woman's Oaths are wafers, break with making,
They must for modesty a little: we all know it.
Fre.
No I'll assure ye Sir.
Jo.
Not see her?
I smell an old dog trick of yours, well Frederick,
Ye talk'd to me of whoring, let's have fair play,
Square dealing I would wish ye.
Fre.
When 'tis come
(Which I know never will be) to that issue,
Your Spoon shall be as deep as mine Sir.
Jo.
Tell me,
And tell me true, is the cause honourable?
Or for your ease?
Fre.
By all our friendship, John,
22
I am answer'd:
But let me see her though: leave the door open
As you go in.
Fre.
I dare not.
Jo.
Not wide open,
But just so, as a jealous Husband
Would level at his wanton Wife through.
Free.
That courtesie,
If ye desire no more, and keep it strictly,
I dare afford ye: come, 'tis now near Morning.
[Exeunt.
SCENE. II.
Enter Peter and Anthony.Peter.
Nay, the old Woman's gone too.
Anth.
She's a Catterwauling
Amongst the Gutters; but conceive me, Peter,
Where our good Masters should be?
Peter.
Where they should be,
I do conceive, but where they are, good Anthony—
Anth.
I, there it goes: my Master's bo-peep with me,
With his sly popping in and out again,
Argu'd a Cause.
[Lute sounds.
Hark.
Peter.
What?
Anth.
Dost not hear a Lute?
Agen?
Peter.
Where is't?
Anth.
Above, in my Master's Chamber.
Peter.
There's no Creature: he hath the key himself man.
Anth.
This is his Lute: let him have it.
Sing within a little.
Peter.
I grant ye; but who strikes it?
Anth.
An admirable Voyce too, hark ye.
Peter.
Anthony,
Art sure we are at home?
Anth.
Without all doubt Peter.
Peter.
Then this must be the Devil.
Anth.
Let it be.
Good Devil sing again: O dainty Devil,
Peter, believe it, a most delicate Devil,
23
Enter Frederick and Don John.
Fred.
If you would leave peeping.
Jo.
I cannot by no means.
Fred.
Then come in softly,
And as you love your Faith, presume no further
Than ye have promised.
Jo.
Basco.
Fred.
What make you up so early Sir?
Jo.
You Sir, in your Contemplations.
Peter.
O pray ye peace Sir.
Fred.
Why peace Sir?
Peter.
Do ye hear?
Jo.
'Tis your Lute. She's playing on't.
Anth.
The House is haunted Sir,
For this we have heard this half year.
Fred.
Ye saw nothing?
Anth.
Not I.
Peter.
Nor I Sir.
Fred.
Get you our Breakfast then,
And make no words on't; we'll undertake this Spirit,
If it be one.
Anth.
This is no Devil Peter.
Mum, there be Bats abroad.
[Exit ambo.
Fred.
Stay, now she sings.
Jo.
An Angels Voyce I'll swear.
Pred.
Why did'st thou shrug so?
Either allay this heat; or as I live
I will not trust ye.
Jo.
Pass: I warrant ye.
[Exeunt.
Enter 1. Constantia.
Const.
To curse those Stars that men say govern us,
To rail at Fortune, to fall out with my Fate,
And tax the general World, will help me nothing:
Alas, I am the same still, neither are they
Subject to helps, or hurts; our own desires
Are our own Fates, and our own Stars, all our Fortunes,
Which as we sway 'em, so abuse or bless us.
24
Fred.
Peace to your Meditations
Jo.
Pox upon ye.
Stand out o'th'Light.
Const.
I crave your mercy Sir;
My mind o'r charg'd with care made me unmannerly.
Fred.
Pray ye set that mind at rest, all shall be perfect.
Jo.
I like the Body rare; a handsome Body,
A wondrous handsome Body; would she would turn:
See, and that spightful puppy be not got
Between me and my light again.
Fred.
'Tis done,
As all that you command shall be: the Gentleman
Is safely off all danger.
Jo.
Rare Creature!
Const.
How shall I thank ye Sir? how satisfie?
Fred.
Speak softly gentle Lady, all's rewarded,
Now does he melt like Marmalad.
Jo.
Nay, 'tis certain,
Thou art the sweetest Woman that eyes e'r look'd on.
Fred.
None disturb'd ye?
Const.
Not any Sir, nor any sound came near me,
I thank your care.
Fred.
'Tis well.
Jo.
I would fain pray now,
But the Devil, and that Flesh there, o'th'World,
What are we made to suffer?
Fred.
He'll enter;
Pull in your head and be hang'd.
Jo.
Hark ye Frederick,
I have brought you home your Pack-Saddle.
Fred.
Pox upon ye.
Const.
Nay, let him enter: fie my Lord the Duke,
Stand peeping at your Friends.
Fred.
Ye are cozen'd Lady,
Here is no Duke.
Const.
I know him full well Signior.
Jo.
Hold thee there Wench.
Fred.
This mad-brain'd fool will spoyl all.
Const.
I do beseech your Grace come in.
25
My Grace,
There was a Word of Comfort.
Fred.
Shall he enter,
Who e'r he be?
Jo.
Well follow'd Frederick.
Const.
With all my heart.
Enter Don John.
Fred.
Come in then.
Jo.
Bless ye Lady.
Fred.
Nay, start not, though he be a Stranger to ye.
He's of a Noble strain, my Kinsman, Lady,
My Country man, and Fellow-Traveller,
One bed contains us ever, one purse feeds us,
And one Faith free between us; do not fear him,
He's truly honest.
Jo.
That's a lie.
Fred.
And trusty:
Beyond your wishes: valiant to defend,
And modest to converse with, as your blushes.
Jo.
Now may I hang my self; this commendation
Has broke the neck of all my Hopes; for now
Must I cry, no forsooth, and I forsooth, and surely,
And truly as I live, and as I am honest
'Has done these things for nonce too; for he knows,
Like a most envious Rascal as he is,
I am not honest,
This way: h'as watch'd his time,
But I shall quit him.
Const.
Sir, I credit ye.
Fred.
Go, salute her John.
Jo.
Plague o'your Commendations.
Const.
Sir, I shall now desire to be a trouble.
Jo.
Never to me, sweet Lady; thus I seal
My Faith, and all my Service.
Const.
One word Signior.
Jo.
Now 'tis impossible I should be honest.
What points she at? my Leg I warrant, or
My well-knit Body: sit fast Don Frederick.
Fred.
'Twas given him by that Gentleman
You took such care of; his own being lost i'th'Scuffle.
26
With much joy may he wear it: 'tis a right one
I can assure ye Gentlemen; and right happy
May he be in all fights for that Noble Service.
Fred.
Why do ye blush?
Const.
'T had almost cozened me,
For not to lye, when I saw that, I look'd for
Another owner of it; but 'tis well.
[Knock within.
Fred.
Who's there?
Stand ye a little close: come in Sir.
Enter Anthony.
Now what's the News with you?
Anth.
There is a Gentleman without,
Would speak with Don John.
Jo.
Who Sir?
Anth.
I do not know Sir, but he shews a man
Of no mean reckoning.
Fred.
Let him shew his Name,
And then return a little wiser.
[Exit Anthony.
Fred.
How do you like her John?
Jo.
As well as you Frederick,
For all I am honest; you shall find it too.
Fred.
Art thou not honest?
Jo.
Art thou an Ass?
And modest as her blushes? What a blockhead
Would e'r have popp'd out such a dry Apology,
For his dear Friend? and to a Gentlewoman,
A Woman of her Youth, and Delicacy,
They are Arguments to draw them to abhor us.
An honest moral man; 'tis for a Constable:
A handsome man, a wholesome man, a tough man,
A liberal man, a likely man, a man
Made up like Hercules, unslack'd with Service:
The same to night, to morrow night, the next night,
And so to perpetuity of pleasures,
These had been things to hearken to, things catching;
But you have such a spiced consideration,
Such Qualmes upon your Worship's Conscience,
Such Chilblains in your blood, that all things prick ye,
Which Nature, and the liberal World makes Custom,
And nothing but fair Honour, O sweet Honour,
27
And valiant, were things well put in; but modest!
A modest Gentleman! O wit where wast thou?
Fred.
I am sorry John.
Jo.
My Lady's Gentlewoman
Would laugh me to a School-boy, make me blush
With playing with my Cod-piece-point: fie on thee,
A man of thy discretion.
Fred.
It shall be mended;
And henceforth ye shall have your due.
Enter Anthony.
Jo.
I look for't: how now, who is't?
Anth.
A Gentleman of this City,
And calls himself Petruchio.
Jo.
I'll attend him.
Enter Constantia.
Const.
How did he call himself?
Fred.
Petruchio,
Does it concern ye ought?
Const.
O Gentlemen,
The hour of my destruction is come on me,
I am discover'd, lost, left to my ruine:
As ever ye hay pity—
Jo.
Do not fear,
Let the great Devil come, he shall come through me: first
Lost here, and we about ye?
Fred.
Fall before us?
Const.
O my unfortunate estate, all angers
Compar'd to his, to his—
Fred.
Let his, and all mens,
Whil'st we have power and life, stand up for Heavens sake.
Const.
I have offended Heaven too; yet Heaven knows—
Jo.
We are all evil:
Yet Heaven forbid we should have our deserts.
What is a?
Const.
Too too near to my offence Sir:
O he will cut me piece-meal.
Fred.
'Tis no Treason?
28
Let it be what it will: if a cut here,
I'll find him cut-work.
Fred.
He must buy you dear,
With more than common lives.
Jo.
Fear nor, not weep not:
By Heaven I'll fire the Town before ye perish,
And then the more the merrier, we'll jog with ye.
Fred.
Come in, and dry your eyes.
Jo.
Pray no more weeping:
Spoyl a sweet Face for nothing? my return
Shall end all this I warrant ye.
Const.
Heaven grant it may.
[Exeunt.
SCENE. III.
Enter Petruchio with a Letter.Petr.
This man should be of Quality and worth
By Don Alvaras Letter, for he gives
No slight recommendations of him:
Ile e'en make use of him.
Enter Don John.
Jo.
Save ye Sir: I am sorry
My business was so unmannerly, to make ye
Wait thus long here.
Petr.
Occasions must be serv'd Sir:
But is your name Don John?
Jo.
It is Sir:
Petr.
Then,
First for your own brave sake I must embrace ye:
Next, for the credit of your noble Friend
Hernanda de Alvara, make ye mine:
Who lays his charge upon me in this Letter
To look ye out, and
Whil'st your occasions make you resident
In this place, to supply ye, love and honor ye;
Which had I known sooner—
Jo.
Noble Sir,
You'll make my thanks too poor: I wear a Sword Sir,
And have a Service to be still dispos'd of
29
Petr.
That manly curtesie is half my business: Sir,
And to be short, to make ye know I honor ye,
And in all points believe your worth like Oracle,
This day Petruchio,
A man that may command the strength of this place,
Hazard the boldest Spirits, hath made choice
Only of you, and in a noble Office.
Jo.
Forward, I am free to entertain it.
Petr.
Thus then:
I do beseech ye mark me.
Jo.
I shall Sir.
Petr.
Ferrara's Duke, would I might call him worthy,
But that he has raz'd out from his Family,
As he has mine with Infamy, This man,
Rather this powerful Monster, we being left
But two of all our House, to stock our Memoires,
My Sister Constantia and my self; with Arts and Witchcrafts,
Vows, and such Oaths Heaven has no mercy for,
Drew to dishonour this weak Maid, by stealth,
And secret passages I knew not of,
Oft he obtain'd his wishes, oft abus'd her,
I am asham'd to say the rest: This purchas'd,
And his hot blood allay'd, he left her,
And all our Name to ruine.
Jo.
This was foul play,
And ought to be rewarded so.
Petr.
I hope so;
He scap'd me yesternight:
Which if he dare again adventure for—
Jo.
Pray Sir what Commands have you to lay on me?
Petr.
Only thus; by word of mouth to carry him
A Challenge from me that so (if he have honor in him)
We may decide all difference between us.
Jo.
Fair, and noble,
And I will do it home: when shall I visit ye?
Petr.
Please you this afternoon, I will ride with ye;
For at a Castle six mile hence, we are sure
To find him.
Jo.
I'll be ready.
Petr.
My man shall
Wait here, to conduct ye to my House.
30
I shall not fail ye Sir.
[Exit Petruchio.
Enter Frederick.
Fred.
How now?
Jo.
All's well, and better than thou could'st expect, for this Wench
here is certainly no Maid; and I have hopes she is the same that our two
curious. Coxcombs have been so long a hunting after.
Fred.
Why do ye hope so?
Jo.
Why? because first she is no Maid, and next because she's handsome;
there are two Reasons for you: now do you find out a third, a
better if you can. For take this Frederick, for a certain Rule, since she
loves the sport, she'll never give it over. And therefore (if we have
good luck) in time may fall to our shares.
Fred.
Very pretty Reasons indeed. But I thought you had known
some particular that made you conclude this to be the Woman.
Jo.
Yes, I know her name is Constantia.
Fred.
That now is something; but I cannot believe her dishonest for
all this: she has not one loose thought about her.
Jo.
It's no matter, she's loose i'th'hilts by Heaven. There has been
stirring, fumbling with Linnen, Frederick.
Fred.
There may be such a slip
Jo.
And will be Frederick, whil'st the old Game's afoot. I fear the
Boy too will prove hers I took up.
Fred.
Good circumstance may cure all this yet.
Jo.
There thou hit'st it Frederick, come let's walk in, and comfort
her; that she is here is nothing yet suspected. Anon I shall tell thee
why her Brother came, (who by this light is a noble Fellow) and what
honor he has done to me, a Stranger, in calling me to serve him. There
be Irons heating for some on my word Frederick.
[Exeunt.
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