 | As you Like it |  |
Actus Quintus.
Scena Prima.
Enter Clowne and Awdrie.Clow.
We shall finde a time Awdrie, patience gentle
Awdrie.
Awd.
Faith the Priest was good enough, for all the
olde gentlemans saying.
Clow.
A most wicked Sir Oliuer, Awdrie, a most vile
Mar text. But Awdrie, there is a youth heere in the
Forrest layes claime to you.
Awd.
I, I know who 'tis: he hath no interest in mee
in the world: here comes the man you meane.
Enter William.
Clo.
It is meat and drinke to me to see a Clowne, by
for: we shall be flouting: we cannot hold.
Will.
Good eu'n Audrey.
Aud.
God ye good eu'n William.
Will.
And good eu'n to you Sir.
Clo.
Good eu'n gentle friend. Couer thy head, couer
thy head: Nay prethee bee couer'd. How olde are you
Friend?
Will.
Fiue and twentie Sir.
Clo.
A ripe age: Is thy name William?
Will.
William, sir.
Clo.
A faire name. Was't borne i'th Forrest heere?
Will.
I sir, I thanke God.
Clo.
Thanke God: A good answer:
Art rich?
Will.
'Faith sir, so, so.
Cle.
So, so, is good, very good, very excellent good:
and yet it is not, it is but so, so:
Art thou wise?
Will.
I sir, I haue a prettie wit.
Clo.
Why, thou saist well. I do now remember a saying:
The Foole doth thinke he is wise, but the wiseman
knowes himselfe to be a Foole. The Heathen Philosopher,
when he had a desire to eate a Grape, would open
his lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning thereby,
that Grapes were made to eate, and lippes to open.
You do loue this maid?
Will.
I do sit.
Clo.
Giue me your hand: Art thou Learned?
Will.
No sir.
Clo.
Then learne this of me, To haue, is to haue. For
it is a figure in Rhetoricke, that drink being powr'd out
of a cup into a glasse, by filling the one, doth empty the
other. For all your Writers do consent, that ipse is hee:
now you are not ipse, for I am he.
Will.
Which he sir?
Clo.
He sir, that must marrie this woman: Therefore
you Clowne, abandon: which is in the vulgar, leaue the
societie: which in the boorish, is companie, of this female:
which in the common, is woman: which together,
is, abandon the society of this Female, or Clowne
thou perishest: or to thy better vnderstanding, dyest; or
(to wit) I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into
death, thy libertie into bondage: I will deale in poyson
with thee, or in bastinado, or in steele: I will bandy
with thee in faction, I will ore-run thee with police: I
will kill thee a hundred and fifty wayes, therefore tremble
and depart.
Aud.
Do good William.
Will.
God rest you merry sir.
Exit
Enter Corin.
Cor.
Our Master and Mistresse seekes you: come away,
away.
Clo.
Trip Audry, trip Audry, I attend,
I attend.
Exeunt
Scœna Secunda.
Enter Orlando & Oliuer.Orl.
Is't possible, that on so little acquaintance you
should like her? that, but seeing, you should loue her?
And louing woo? and wooing, she should graunt? And
will you perseuer to enioy her?
Ol.
Neither call the giddinesse of it in question; the
pouertie of her, the small acquaintance, my sodaine woing,
nor sodaine consenting: but say with mee, I loue
Aliena: say with her, that she loues mee; consent with
both, that we may enioy each other: it shall be to your
good: for my fathers house, and all the reuen new, that
was old Sir Rowlands will I estate vpon you, and heere
liue and die a Shepherd.
Enter Rosalind.
Orl.
You haue my consent.
Let your Wedding be to morrow: thither will I
Inuite the Duke, and all's contented followers:
Go you, and prepare Aliena; for looke you,
Heere comes my Rosalinde.
Ros.
God saue you brother.
Ol.
And you faire sister.
Ros.
Oh my deere Orlando, how it greeues me to see
thee weare thy heart in a scarfe.
Orl.
It is my arme.
Ros.
I thought thy heart had beene wounded with
the clawes of a Lion.
Orl.
Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a Lady.
Ros.
Did your brother tell you how I counterfeyted
to sound, when he shew'd me your handkercher?
Orl.
I, and greater wonders then that.
Ros.
O, I know where you are: nay, tis true: there
was neuer any thing so sodaine, but the fight of two
Rammes, and Cesars Thrasonicall bragge of I came, saw,
and ouercome. For your brother, and my sister, no sooner
met, but they look'd; no sooner look'd, but they
lou'd; no sooner lou'd, but they sigh'd: no sooner sigh'd
but they ask'd one another the reason: no sooner knew
the reason, but they sought the remedie: and in these
degrees, haue they made a paire of staires to marriage,
which they will climbe incontinent, or else bee incontinent
before marriage; they are in the verie wrath of
loue, and they will together. Clubbes cannot part
them.
Orl.
They shall be married to morrow: and I will
bid the Duke to the Nuptiall. But O, how bitter a thing
it is, to looke into happines through another mans eies:
by so much the more shall I to morrow be at the height
of heart heauinesse. by how much I shal thinke my brother
happie, in hauing what he wishes for.
Ros.
Why then to morrow, I cannot serue your turne
for Rosalind?
Orl.
I can liue no longer by thinking.
Ros.
I will wearie you then no longer with idle talking.
Know of me then (for now I speake to some purpose)
that I know you are a Gentleman of good conceit:
I speake not this, that you should beare a good opinion
of my knowledge: insomuch (I say) I know you are: neither
do I labor for a greater esteeme then may in some
little measure draw a beleefe from you, to do your selfe
good, and not to grace me. Beleeue then, if you please,
that I can do strange things: I haue since I was three
yeare old conuerst with a Magitian, most profound in
his Art, and yet not damnable. If you do loue Rosalinde
so neere the hart, as your gesture cries it out: when your
brother marries Aliena, shall you marrie her. I know into
what straights of Fortune she is driuen, and it is not
impossible to me, if it appeare not inconuenient to you,
and without any danger.
Orl.
Speak'st thou in sober meanings?
Ros.
By my life I do, which I tender deerly, though
I say I am a Magitian: Therefore put you in your best aray,
bid you friends: for if you will be married to morrow,
you shall: and to Rosalind if you will.
Looke, here comes a Louer of mine, and a louer of hers.
Phe.
Youth, you haue done me much vngentlenesse,
To shew the letter that I writ to you.
Ros.
I care not if I haue: it is my studie
To seeme despightfull and vngentle to you:
you are there followed by a faithful shepheard,
Looke vpon him, loue him: he worships you.
Phe.
Good shepheard, tell this youth what 'tis to loue
Sil.
It is to be all made of sighes and teares,
And so am I for Phebe.
Phe.
And I for Ganimed.
Orl.
And I for Rosalind.
Ros
And I for no woman.
Sil.
It is to be all made of faith and seruice,
And so am I for Phebe.
Phe.
And I for Ganimed.
Orl.
And I for Rosalind.
Ros
And I for no woman.
Sil.
It is to be all made of fantasie,
All made of passion, and all made of wishes,
All adoration, dutie, and obseruance,
All humblenesse, all patience, and impatience,
All puritie, all triall, and obseruance:
And so am I for Phebe.
Phe.
And so am I for Ganimed.
Orl.
And so am I for Rosalind.
Ros.
And so am I for no woman.
Phe.
If this be so, why blame you me to loue you?
Sil.
If this be so, why blame you me to loue you?
Orl.
If this be so, why blame you me to loue you?
Ros.
Why do you speake too, Why blame you mee
to loue you.
Orl.
To her, that is not heere, nor doth not heare.
Ros.
Pray you no more of this, 'tis like the howling
of Irish Wolues against the Moone: I will helpe you
if I can: I would loue you if I could: To morrow meet
me altogether: I wil marrie you, if euer I marrie Woman,
and Ile be married to morrow: I will satisfie you,
if euer I satisfi'd man, and you shall bee married to morrow.
I wil content you, if what pleases you contents
you, and you shal be married to morrow: As you loue
Rosalind meet, as you loue Phebe meet, and as I loue no
woman, Ile meet: so fare you wel: I haue left you commands.
Sil.
Ile not faile, if I liue.
Phe.
Nor I.
Orl.
Nor I.
Exeunt.
Scœna Tertia.
Enter Clowne and Audrey.Clo.
To morrow is the ioyfull day Audrey, to morow
will we be married.
Aud.
I do desire it with all my heart: and I hope it is
no dishonest desire, to desire to be a woman of y
e world?
Heere come two of the banish'd Dukes Pages.
Enter two Pages.
1. Pa.
Wel met honest Gentleman.
Clo.
By my troth well met: come, sit, sit, and a song.
2. Pa.
We are for you, sit i'th middle.
1. Pa.
Shal we clap into't roundly, without hauking,
or spitting, or saying we are hoarse, which are the onely
prologues to a bad voice.
2. Pa.
I faith, y'faith, and both in a tune like two
gipsies on a horse.
Song.
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,
That o're the greene corne feild did passe,
When Birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.
Sweet Louers loue the spring,
With a hey, & a ho, and a hey nonino,
For loue is crowned with the prime.
With a hey, and a ho, & a hey nonino:
These prettie Country folks would lie.
With a hey and a ho, & a hey nonino:
How that a life was but a Flower,
Clo.
Truly yong Gentlemen, though there vvas no
great matter in the dittie, yet y
e note was very vntunable
1. Pa.
you are deceiu'd Sir, we kept time, we lost not
our time.
Clo.
By my troth yes: I count it but time lost to heare
such a foolish song. God buy you, and God mend your
voices. Come Audrie.
Exeunt.
Scena Quarta.
Enter Duke Senior, Amyens, Iaques, Orlando, Oliuer, Celia.Du. Sen.
Dost thou beleeue Orlando, that the boy
Can do all this that he hath promised?
Orl.
I sometimes do beleeue, and somtimes do not,
As those that feare they hope, and know they feare.
Enter Rosalinde, Siluius, & Phebe.
Ros.
Patience once more, whiles our cōpact is vrg'd:
You say, if I bring in your Rosalinde,
You wil bestow her on Orlando heere?
Du. Se.
That would I, had I kingdoms to giue with hir.
Ros.
And you say you wil haue her, when I bring hir?
Orl.
That would I, were I of all kingdomes King.
Ros.
You say, you'l marrie me, if I be willing.
Phe.
That will I, should I die the houre after.
Ros.
But if you do refuse to marrie me,
You'l giue your selfe to this most faithfull Shepheard.
Phe.
So is the bargaine.
Ros.
You say that you'l haue Phebe if she will.
Sil.
Though to haue her and death, were both one thing.
I haue promis'd to make all this matter euen:
Keepe you your word, O Duke, to giue your daughter,
You yours Orlando, to receiue his daughter:
Keepe you your word Phebe, that you'l marrie me,
Or else refusing me to wed this shepheard:
Keepe your word Siluius, that you'l marrie her
If she refuse me, and from hence I go
To make these doubts all euen.
Exit Ros. and Celia.
Du. Sen.
I do remember in this shepheard boy,
Some liuely touches of my daughters fauour.
Orl.
My Lord, the first time that I euer saw him,
Me thought he was a brother to your daughter:
But my good Lord, this Boy is Forrest borne,
And hath bin tutor'd in the rudiments
Of many desperate studies, by his vnckle,
Whom he reports to be a great Magitian.
Enter Clowne and Audrey.
Obscured in the circle of this Forrest.
Iaq.
There is sure another flood toward, and these
couples are comming to the Arke. Here comes a payre
of verie strange beasts, which in all tongues, are call'd
Fooles.
Clo.
Salutation and greeting to you all.
Iaq.
Good my Lord, bid him welcome: This is the
Motley-minded Gentleman, that I haue so often met in
the Forrest: he hath bin a Courtier he sweares.
Clo.
If any man doubt that, let him put mee to my
purgation, I haue trod a measure, I haue flattred a Lady,
I haue bin politicke with my friend, smooth with mine
enemie, I haue vndone three Tailors, I haue had foure
quarrels, and like to haue fought one.
Iaq.
And how was that tane vp?
Clo.
'Faith we met, and found the quarrel was vpon
the seuenth cause.
Iaq.
How seuenth cause? Good my Lord, like this
fellow.
Du. Se.
I like him very well.
Clo.
God'ild you sir, I desire you of the like: I presse
in heere sir, amongst the rest of the Country copulatiues
to sweare, and to forsweare, according as mariage binds
and blood breakes: a poore virgin sir, an il-fauor'd thing
sir, but mine owne, a poore humour of mine sir, to take
that that no man else will: rich honestie dwels like a miser
sir, in a poore house, as your Pearle in your foule oyster.
Du. Se.
By my faith, he is very swift, and sententious.
Clo.
According to the fooles bolt sir, and such dulcet
diseases.
Iaq.
But for the seuenth cause. How did you finde
the quarrell on the seuenth cause?
Clo.
Vpon a lye, seuen times remoued: (beare your
bodie more seeming Audry) as thus sir: I did dislike the
cut of a certaine Courtiers beard: he sent me word, if I
said his beard was not cut well, hee was in the minde it
was: this is call'd the retort courteous. If I sent him
word againe, it was not well cut, he wold send me word
he cut it to please himselfe: this is call'd the quip modest.
If againe, it was not well cut, he disabled my iudgment:
this is called, the reply churlish. If againe it was not well
cut, he would answer I spake not true: this is call'd the
reproofe valiant. If againe, it was not well cut, he wold
say, I lie: this is call'd the counter-checke quarrelsome:
and so ro lye circumstantiall, and the lye direct.
Iaq.
And how oft did you say his beard was not well
cut?
Clo.
I durst go no further then the lye circumstantial:
nor he durst not giue me the lye direct: and so wee measur'd
swords, and parted.
Iaq.
Can you nominate in order now, the degrees of
the lye.
Clo.
O sir, we quarrel in print, by the booke: as you
haue bookes for good manners: I will name you the degrees.
The first, the Retort courteous: the second, the
Quip-modest: the third, the reply Churlish: the fourth,
the Reproofe valiant: the fift, the Counterchecke quarrelsome:
the sixt, the Lye with circumstance: the seauenth,
the Lye direct: all these you may auoyd, but the
Lye direct: and you may auoide that too, with an If. I
knew when seuen Iustices could not take vp a Quarrell,
but when the parties were met themselues, one of them
thought but of an If; as if you saide so, then I saide so:
and they shooke hands, and swore brothers. Your If, is
the onely peace-maker: much vertue in if.
Iaq.
Is not this a rare fellow my Lord? He's as good
at any thing, and yet a foole.
Du. Se.
He vses his folly like a stalking-horse, and vnder
the presentation of that he shoots his wit.
Enter Hymen, Rosalind, and Celia.
Still Musicke.
Hymen.
Then is there mirth in heauen,
When earthly things made eauen
attone together.
Good Duke receiue thy daughter,
Hymen from Heauen brought her,
Yea brought her hether.
That thou mightst ioyne his hand with his,
Whose heart within his bosome is.
Ros.
To you I giue my selfe, for I am yours.
To you I giue my selfe, for I am yours.
Du. Se.
If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.
Orl.
If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.
Phe.
If sight & shape be true, why then my loue adieu
Ros.
Ile haue no Father, if you be not he:
Ile haue no Husband, if you be not he:
Nor ne're wed woman, if you be not shee.
Hy.
Peace hoa: I barre confusion,
'Tis I must make conclusion
Of these most strange euents:
Here's eight that must take hands,
To ioyne in Hymens bands,
If truth holds true contents.
You and you, no crosse shall part;
You and you, are hart in hart:
You, to his loue must accord,
Or haue a Woman to your Lord.
You and you, are sure together,
As the Winter to fowle Weather:
Whiles a Wedlocke Hymne we sing,
Feede your selues with questioning:
That reason, wonder may diminish
How thus we met, and these things finish.
Song.
Wedding is great Iunos crowne,
O blessed bond of boord and bed:
'Tis Hymen peoples euerie towne,
High wedlock then be honored:
Honor, high honor and renowne
To Hymen, God of euerie Towne.
Du. Se.
O my deere Neece, welcome thou art to me,
Euen daughter welcome, in no lesse degree.
I wil not eate my word, now thou art mine,
Thy faith, my fancie to thee doth combine.
Enter Second Brother.
2. Bro.
Let me haue audience for a word or two:
I am the second sonne of old Sir Rowland,
That bring these tidings to this faire assembly.
Duke Frederick hearing how that euerie day
Men of great worth resorted to this forrest,
Addrest a mightie power, which were on foote
In his owne conduct, purposely to take
His brother heere, and put him to the sword:
And to the skirts of this wilde Wood he came;
Where, meeting with an old Religious man,
After some question with him, was conuerted
Both from his enterprize, and from the world:
His crowne bequeathing to his banish'd Brother,
And all their Lands restor'd to him againe
That were with him exil'd. This to be true,
I do engage my life.
Du. Se.
Welcome yong man:
Thou offer'st fairely to thy brothers wedding:
To one his lands with-held, and to the other
A land it selfe at large, a potent Dukedome.
First, in this Forrest, let vs do those ends
That heere vvete well begun, and wel begot:
And after, euery of this happie number
That haue endur'd shrew'd daies, and nights with vs,
Shal share the good of our returned fortune,
According to the measure of their states.
Meane time, forget this new-falne dignitie,
And fall into our Rusticke Reuelrie:
Play Musicke, and you Brides and Bride-groomes all,
With measure heap'd in ioy, to'th Measures fall.
Iaq.
Sir, by your patience: if I heard you rightly,
The Duke hath put on a Religious life,
And throwne into neglect the pompous Court.
2. Bro.
He hath.
Iaq.
To him will I: out of these conuertites,
There is much matter to be heard, and learn'd:
you to your former Honor, I bequeath
your patience, and your vertue, well deserues it.
you to a loue, that your true faith doth merit:
you to your land, and loue, and great allies:
you to a long, and well-deserued bed:
And you to wrangling, for thy louing voyage
Is but for two moneths victuall'd: So to your pleasures,
I am for other, then for dancing meazures.
Du. Se.
Stay, Iaques, stay.
Iaq.
To see no pastime, I: what you would haue,
Ile stay to know, at your abandon'd caue.
Exit.
Du. Se.
Proceed, proceed: wee'l begin these rights,
As we do trust, they'l end in true delights.
Exit
Ros.
It is not the fashion to see the Ladie the Epilogue:
but it is no more vnhandsome then to see the
Lord the Prologue. If it be true, that good wine needs
no bush, 'tis true, that a good play needes no Epilogue.
Yet to good wine they do vse good bushes: and good
playes proue the better by the helpe of good Epilogues:
What a case am I in then, that am neither a good Epilogue,
nor cannot insinuate with you in the behalfe of a
good play? I am not furnish'd like a Begger, therefore
to begge will not become mee. My way is to coniure
you, and Ile begin with the Women. I charge you (O
women) for the loue you beare to men, to like as much
of this Play, as please you: And I charge you (O men)
for the loue you beare to women (as I perceiue by your
simpring, none of you hates them) that betweene you,
and the women, the play may please. If I were a Woman,
I would kisse as many of you as had beards that
pleas'd me, complexions that lik'd me, and breaths that
I defi'de not: And I am sure, as many as haue good
beards, or good faces, or sweet breaths, will for my kind
offer, when I make curt'sie, bid me farewell.
Exit.
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