University of Virginia Library

Scena prima.

Enter Fallacy alone, with a darke Lanthorne.
Fallacy.
Not yet begins the East-disturbing Morne
To draw aside Nights sable Canopie,
Nor heavens great Spy, whose curious search displayes
The worlds close errors, yet o'relooks the earth,
When now long since lazy & slow-pac't sleepe
Hath posted by my scarce saluted eyes:
And let him passe; hee's not that powerfull God,
Whom ever-waking Fallacy adores.
Sacred Deceit, to thee be consecrate
My Temples, aid thou Goddesse mine attempt,
I soone will free me. Here comes my servant Ambiguity.

Enter Ambiguity, Fallacy turnes his Lanthorne, and steps aside.
Amb.

I am in doubt, and I thinke cannot easily be resolved,
whether it were better living in Hell, where there is
no day; or at my Masters, where there is no night: I cannot
tell what any yong Gentlewoman would answer to the blind
Philosophers question. I am sure to me, Nulla videtur voluptas
nocturna: There cannot the least sleepe harbour under
my browes, but it is presently started with the loud cryes
of my Master. Melancholy keeps him alwayes waking, and
his envy will not suffer me to take any rest: Then my head
hath scarce forgot my pillow, when his buzzing Suitors
swarming about me, sting my eares like Hornets: like ghosts
on this side Cocytus, they flock thither in infinite multitudes,
to be wafted over to Hell: I would they were all once shipt
thither, and dispatched; they are so importunate, that I could
curse Nature who hath given me two eares to heare them,
and but one tongue (though that indifferent double) to answer
them. But at length I bethought me, she hath given me
two leggs to convey me from them.

Fal.

'Twere good she had given you more eyes to see your
Master.

Amb.

I would shee had given me yours, you might not
have seene your man.

Fal.

Well sir, I hope shee would have left me hands to
have felt him. But hast thou brought what I bid thee?

Amb.

I have Sir, and I have not.

Fal.

I was about to thanke you Sir, but now I thanke you not.
What hast thou done?

Amb.

I have brought Sir, but not as you bid me.

Fal.

Villaine, goe runne againe.

Amb.

Nay Sir, I thought it better to bring two Violls at
one going, than at twice going one Violl. There were two
of water of the same colour, and I have brought them both.

Fal.

Well, where are they?

Amb.

Here sir.

He deliuereth the Violls to his Master.
Fal.

So double diligence, 'Tis no great matter: Indeed
their colours are the same, and their effects not much unlike.
This being tasted, causeth drunkennesse; this sudden madnesse:
and this is the drinke I have provided for my Fathers
mornings draught. Sirrah take you that, you may chance to
have use of it; you know the vertue?

He gives one to Ambiguity.
Amb.

Yes Sir.

Fal.

And now what are these Suitors that so much trouble
you?

Amb.

Master, you have seene Deaths dance in Boccus, Merchants,
Vittulers, Vintners, Tobacco-men, Informers, Projectors,
all those that mourn'd at Tigellius his Funerall;

Ambubaiarum collegia, Pharmacapolæ,
I am sure you know them.

Fal.
And know my selfe unable to content them.
Riches and honour, all the worlds delights
Their hearts desire, I have given them,
And like the Farmer old Stercatius,
Still toyling in his dung-hill, or his field,
As with his grosser soule best sympathizing,
Spending his spirits, sparing of his pelfe,
Defraudeth his owne Genius, all to make
His Masters Sonne an upstart Gentleman
Of Innes of Court: so have I hitherto
On this still-craving brood freely bestowed
My choisest favours, to advance their states:
Whilst I my selfe in scorne and infamy,
Have basely liv'd, am basely like to dye.
And could I suffer this so vile contempt?
Yet am I hated too; who can endure
Contempt and hatred to goe unreveng'd?
Or were't else where, I might containe my selfe,
Dissemble this my griefe, neglect my shame.
But heere within the great Hermenia,
In hatred and contempt to draw my breath,
A thousand times 'tis worse than cursed death.
But that which more torments my vexed soule,
Bold Demonstration, and quick Topicus,
Though better borne, yet both my yonger brothers,
Are every where admired, and beloved.
Them old Discourse, our too much doating Father,
Kisses, embraces, seekes to magnifie.
On them the Vulgar and Nobility
With no lesse joy doe fixe their gazing eyes,
Than the neare-death escaping Mariners
Vpon faire Ledaes Twinnes, if they appeare
After a tempest, when the Heavens are cleare.
To them which scarce my spite-swolne tongue can speake,
My heart abhorres to thinke, are destined
The faire Scientia and Opinion
In happy Spousals to be married:
Now Fallacy, 'tis thou must this prevent,
Or pine in griefe, in shame, in discontent.
And see (o fairest Opportunity)
That ever favour'sts Fallacies attempts,
I'le kisse thy gracious hand, and with my heart
Embrace thy sweet-selfe-offering courtesie.

Here comes my Father, stand aside.
Enter Discour. Demonstr. Topicus: Disc. sits downe.