New Custome A new Enterlude No lesse wittie : then pleasant, entituled new Custome deuised of late, and for diuerse causes nowe set forthe, neuer before this tyme Imprinted |
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Peruerse Doctrine and Ignorance entre.Peruerse Doctrine.
It is euen so in deede, the worlde was neuer in so euyll a state.
But this is no time for vs of these matters to debate.
It were good wee inuented some politike waie
Our matters to addresse in good orderly staie.
And for vs, reason would wee loked to our selues.
Do you not see howe these newe fangled pratling elfes,
Prinke vp so pertly of late in euery place?
And go about vs auncients flatly to deface?
As who shoulde say in shorte time, as well learned as wee,
As wise to the worlde, as good they mighte accoumptid bee.
Naye, naye, if many yeeres, and graie heares do knowe no more:
But that euery peuishe boye hath euen as muche witte in store:
By the masse then haue I lyued to long, and I would I were dead
If I haue not more knoweledge then a thousande of thē in my head.
For how should they haue learning that were borne but euen now?
As fit a sighte it were to see a goose shodde, or a sadled cowe,
As to heare the pratlinge of any suche iacke strawe.
For when hee hath all done I compte him but a very dawe.
As in London not longe since you wot well where,
They rang to a Sermon, and wee chaunced to be there.
Up start the preacher I thinke not past twenty yeeres olde.
With a sounding voyce, and audacitie bolde,
And beganne to reuile at the holie sacrament, and transubstanciation.
I neuer hearde one knaue or other make suche a declaration.
But, but if I had had the boye in a conuenient place,
With a good rodde, or twaine not past one howres space?
I woulde so haue scourged my marchant that his breeche should ake,
So longe as it is since that hee those woordes spake?
What? younge men to be medlers in Diuinitie? it is a godly sight.
Yet therein nowe almost is euery boyes delight,
No booke nowe in their handes, but all scripture, scripture.
Eyther the whole Bible, or the newe Testament you may be sure.
The newe Testament for them? and then to for cowle my dogge.
This is the olde prouerbe, to cast perles to an hogge.
Geue them that whiche is meete for them, a racket, and a ball,
Playinge at coytes, or nine hooles, or shooting at buttes,
There let them be a goddes name, til their hartes ake & their guttes.
Let vs alone with Diuinitie whiche are of ryper age.
Youth is rashe they say, but olde men hath the knowledge.
For while they reade they knowe not what, they omit the veritie,
And that is nowe the cause so many fall into heresie
Euery man hath his owne way, some that, and some this,
It wolde almost for anger surreuerence make a man to pisse
To heare what they talke of in open communication,
Surely I feare me Ignorance this geare wyl make some desolation.
Ignorāce.
I feare the same also, but as towching that wherof you speake ful-well:
They haue reuoked diuerse olde heresies out of hell.
As against Transubstantiation, Purgatory, and the Masse,
And say that by scripture they can not be brought to passe.
But that whiche euer hath ben a most trewe, and constant opinion,
And defended also hitherto, by all of our religion,
That I Ignorance am the mother of true deuotion,
And Knowledge the auctour of the contrarie affection:
They denie it so stoutely as thoughe it were not so.
But this hath ben beleft many an hundred yeere ago.
Wherefore it greueth mee not a lyttle that my case should so stande,
Thus to be disproued at euery pratlers hande.
Peruerse Doctrine.
Yea doth? then the more vnwiseman you, as I trowe,
For they say as muche by mee, as you well do knowe.
And shall I then go vexe my selfe at theyr talke?
No let them speake so longe as their tongues can walke.
They shall not greue mee, for why? in very south
It were follie to endeuour to stop euery mannes mouth.
They haue brought in one, a younge vpstart ladde as it appeares.
I am sure he hath not ben in the Realme very many yeares.
With a gathered frocke, a powlde head, and a broade hatte,
An vnshaued bearde, a pale face, and hee teacheth that
All our doinges are naught, and hath ben many a day.
Hee disaloweth our ceremonies, and rites, and teacheth an other way
To serue God, then that whiche wee do vse.
And goeth about the peoples myndes to seduce.
It is a pestilent knaue, hee wyll haue priestes no corner capppes to weare.
Crosses, belles, candells, oyle, bran, salt, spettle, and incense,
With sensing, and singing hee accomptes not worth iii. halfpense,
And cries out on them all, if to repete them I wist
Suche holy thinges wherein our religion doth consist.
But hee commaundes the seruice in English to be readde.
And for the holy Legende the Bible too put in his steadde.
Euery man to looke thereon at his list and pleasure.
Euery man to studie diuinitie at his conuenient leasure.
With a thoousand newe guises more you knowe as well as I.
And to terme him by his right name, if I shoulde not lie:
It is newe Custome, for so they do him call
Bothe our sister Hipocrisie, Superstition, Idolatrie, and all?
And truely me thinketh they do iustly, and wisely therein,
Since hee is so diuers, and so lately crept in.
Ignorāce.
So they call him in deede you haue saide ryght well,
Because hee came newely from the deuyll of hell,
Newe Custome quod you? now a vengeance of his newe nose,
For bringing in any suche vnaccustomed glose.
For hee hath seduced the people by mightie greate flockes.
Bodie of God it were good to set the knaue in the stockes.
Or elles to whyp him for an exaumple to all roges as hee,
How they the aucthors of newe heresies bee.
Or henceforth do attempt any suche strange deuise.
Let him keepe him selfe from my handes if hee be wyse.
If euer I may take him within my rayne
Hee is sure to haue whipping cheere for his payne.
For hee doth muche harme in eache place throughout the lande.
Wherefore Peruerse doctrine, heere nedeth your hande,
I meane that ye be diligent in any case,
If ye fortune to come where Newcustome is in place:
So to vse the villaine, you know what I meane,
That in all poyntes you may discredite him cleane.
And when hee beginnes of any thynge for to clatter:
Of any controuersie of learnyng, or Diuinitie matter:
So to cling fast vnto euery mannes thought:
That his woordes may seeme heresie, and his doinges but nought.
Peruerse doctrine.
Tushe let mee alone with that, for I haue not so lyttle wit,
Yet a further deuise I haue I thinke not amisse.
Harken to mee Ignorance, for the matter is this.
For the better accomplishing our subtiltie pretended:
It were expedient that bothe our names were amended.
Ignorance shal be Simplicitie, for that comes very nie.
And for Peruersedoctrine I wyll be called Soundedoctrine I.
And nowe that wee are both in suche sorte named:
Wee may goe in any place and neuer be blamed.
See then you remembre your name sir Simplicitie.
And mee at euery woorde Soundedoctrine to be.
Beware of tripping, but looke in minde that you beare,
Your fayned name, and what before you weare.
But who is this that hitherwarde doth walke?
Let vs stande still to heare what hee wyll talke.
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