University of Virginia Library

Actus. iiij.

Scæna. j.

Sym Suresby.
Sim Sure.
Is there any man but I Sym Suresby alone,
That would haue taken such an enterprise him vpon,
In suche an outragious tempest as this was.
Suche a daungerous gulfe of the sea to passe.
I thinke verily Neptunes mightie godshyp,
Was angry with some that was in our shyp,
And but for the honestie whiche in me he founde,
I thinke for the others sake we had bene drownde.
But fye on that seruant which for his maisters wealth
Will sticke for to hazarde both his lyfe and his health.
My maister Gawyn Goodlucke after me a day
Bicause of the weather, thought best hys shyppe to stay,
And now that I haue the rough sourges so well past,
God graunt I may finde all things safe here at last.
Then will I thinke all my trauaile well spent.
Nowe the first poynt wherfore my maister hath me sent
Is to salute dame Christian Custance his wife,
Espoused: whome he tendreth no lesse than his life,
I must see how it is with hir well or wrong,
And whether for him she doth not now thinke long:
Then to other friendes I haue a message or tway,
And then so to returne and mete him on the way.
Now wyll I goe knocke that I may dispatche with speede,
But loe forth commeth hir selfe happily in deede.

Scæna. ij.

Christian Custance. Sim Suresby.
C. Custāce.
I Come to see if any more stirryng be here,
But what straunger is this, which doth to me appere?

Sym Surs.
I will speake to hir: Dame the lorde you saue and see.

C. Custāce.
What friende Sym Suresby? Forsoth right welcome ye be,
Howe doth mine owne Gawyn Goodlucke, I pray the tell?

C. Custāce.
When he knoweth of your health he will be perfect well.

S. Suresby
If he haue perfect helth, I am as I would be.

Sim Sure.
Such newes will please him well, this is as it should be.

C. Custāce.
I thinke now long for him.

Sym S.
And he as long for you.

C. Custāce.
When wil he be at home?

Sym. S.
His heart is here een now
His body commeth after.

C. Custance.
I woulde see that faine.

Sim Sure.
As fast as wynde and sayle can cary it a maine.
But what two men are yonde comming hitherwarde?

C. Custāce.
Now I shrew their best Christmasse chekes both togetherward.

Scæna. iij.

Christian Custance. Sym Suresby. Ralph Roister. Mathew Merygreke. Trupeny.
C. Custāce.
What meane these lewde felowes thus to trouble me stil?
Sym Suresby here perchance shal therof deme som yll,
And shall supect in me some point of naughtinesse,
And they come hitherward.

Sym S.
What is their businesse?

C. Custāce.
I haue nought to them, nor they to me in sadnesse.

Sim Sure.
Let vs hearken them, somewhat there is I feare it.

R. Royster.
I will speake out aloude best, that she may heare it.

M. Mery.
Nay alas, ye may so feare hir out of hir wit.

R. Royster.
By the crosse of my sworde, I will hurt hir no whit.

M. Mery.
Will ye doe no harme in deede, shall I trust your worde?

R. Royster.
By Roister Doisters fayth I will speake but in borde.

Sim Sure.
Let vs hearken them, somwhat there is I feare it.

R. Royster.
I will speake out aloude, I care not who heare it:
Sirs, see that my harnesse, my tergat, and my shield,
Be made as bright now, as when I was last in fielde,
As white as I shoulde to warre againe to morrowe:
For sicke shall I be, but I worke some folke sorow.
Therfore see that all shine as bright as sainct George,
Or as doth a key newly come from the Smiths forge.
I woulde haue my sworde and harnesse to shine so bright,
That I might therwith dimme mine enimies sight,
I would haue it cast beames as fast I tell you playne,
As doth the glittryng grasse after a showre of raine.
And see that in case I shoulde neede to come to arming,
All things may be ready at a minutes warning,
For such chaunce may chaunce in an houre, do ye heare?

M. Mery.
As perchance shall not chaunce againe in seuen yeare.

R. Royster.
Now draw we neare to hir, and here what shall be sayde.

M. Mery.
But I woulde not haue you make hir too muche afrayde.

R. Royster.
Well founde sweete wife (I trust) for al this your soure looke.

C. Custāce.
Wife? why cal ye me wife?

Sim S.
wife? this gear goth acrook.

M. Mery.
Nay mistresse Custance, I warrant you, our letter
Is not as we redde een nowe, but much better,
And where ye halfe stomaked this gentleman afore,
For this same letter, ye wyll loue hym nowe therefore,
Nor it is not this letter though ye were a queene,
That shoulde breake marriage betweene you twaine I weene.

C. Custāce.
I did not refuse hym for the letters sake.

R. Royster.
Then ye are content me for your husbande to take.

C. Custāce.
You for my husbande to take? nothing lesse truely.

R. Royster.
Yea say so, sweete spouse, afore straungers hardly.

M. Mery.
And though I haue here his letter of loue with me,
Yet his ryng and tokens he sent, keepe safe with ye.

C. Custāce.
A mischiefe take his tokens, and him and thee too.
But what prate I with fooles? haue I nought else to doo?
Come in with me Sym Suresby to take some repast.

Sim Sure.
I must ere I drinke by your leaue, goe in all hast,
To a place or two, with earnest letters of his.

C. Custāce.
Then come drink here wt me.

S. S.
I thāk you.

C. C.
Do not misse
You shall haue a token to your maister with you.

Sym Surs.
No tokens this time gramercies, God be with you.

Exeat.
C. Custāce.
Surely this fellowe misdeemeth some yll in me,
Which thing but God helpe, will go neere to spill me.

R. Royster.
Yea farewell fellow, and tell thy maister Goodlucke
That he commeth to late of thys blossome to plucke.
Let him keepe him there still, or at least wise make no hast,
As for his labour hither he shall spende in wast.
His betters be in place nowe.

M. M.
As long as it will hold.

C. Custāce.
I will be euen with thee thou beast, thou mayst be bolde.

R. Royster.
Will ye haue vs then?

C. Custance.
I will neuer haue thee.

R. Royster.
Then will I haue you?

C. Cust.
No, the deuill shal haue thee.
I haue gotten this houre more shame and harme by thee,
Than all thy life days thou canst do me honestie.

M. Mery.
Why nowe may ye see what it comth too in the ende,
To make a deadly foe of your most louing frende:
And ywis this letter if ye woulde heare it now.

C. Custāce.
I will heare none of it.

M. M.
In faith would rauishe you.

C. Custāce.
He hath stained my name for euer this is cleare.

R. Royster.
I can make all as well in an houre.

M. M.
As ten yeare.
How say ye, wil ye haue him?

C. C.
No.

M. M.
Wil ye take him?

C. Custāce.
I defie him.

M. M.
At my word?

C. Cust.
A shame take him.
Waste no more wynde, for it will neuer bee.

M. Mery.
This one faulte with twaine shall be mended, ye shall see.
Gentle mistresse Custance now, good mistresse Custance,
Honey mistresse Custance now, sweete mistresse Custance,
Golden mistresse Custance now, white mistresse Custance,
Silken mistresse Custance now, faire mistresse Custance.

C. Custāce.
Faith rather than to mary with suche a doltishe loute,
I woulde matche my selfe with a begger out of doute.

M. Mery.
Then I can say no more, to speede we are not like,
Except ye rappe out a ragge of your Rhetorike.

C. Custāce.
Speake not of winnyng me: for it shall neuer be so.

R. Royster.
Yes dame, I will haue you whether ye will or no,
I commaunde you to loue me, wherfore shoulde ye not?
Is not my loue to you chafing and burning hot?

M. Mery.
Too hir, that is well sayd.

R. R.
Shall I so breake my braine
To dote vpon you, and ye not loue vs againe?

M. Mery.
Wel sayd yet.

C. Cust.
Go to yu goose.

R. R.
I say Kit Custāce,
In case ye will not haze, well, better yes perchaunce.

C. Custāce.
Auaunt lozell, picke thee hence.

M. M.
Wel sir, ye perceiue,
For all your kinde offer, she will not you receiue.

R. Royster.
Then a strawe for hir, and a strawe for hir againe,
She shall not be my wife, woulde she neuer so faine,
No and though she would be at ten thousand pounde cost.

M. Mery.
Lo dame, ye may see what an husbande ye haue lost.

C. Custāce.
Yea, no force, a iewell muche better lost than founde.

M. Mery.
Ah, ye will not beleue how this doth my heart wounde.
How shoulde a mariage betwene you be towarde,
If both parties drawe backe, and become so frowarde.

R. Royster.
Nay dame, I will fire thee out of thy house,
And destroy thee and all thine, and that by and by.

M. Mery.
Nay for the passion of God sir, do not so.

R. Royster.
Yes, except she will say yea to that she sayde no.

C. Custāce.
And what, be there no officers trow we, in towne
To checke idle loytrers braggyng vp and downe?
Where be they, by whome vacabunds shoulde be represt?
That poore sillie Widowes might liue in peace and rest.
Shall I neuer ridde thee out of my companie?
I will call for helpe, what hough, come forth Trupenie.

Trupenie.
Anon. What is your will mistresse? dyd ye call me?

C. Custāce.
Yea, go runne apace, and as fast as may be,
Pray Tristram Trusty, my moste assured frende,
To be here by and by, that he may me defende.

Trupenie.
That message so quickly shall be done by Gods grace,
That at my returne ye shall say, I went apace.

Exeat.
C. Custāce.
Then shall we see I trowe, whether ye shall do me harme,

R. Royster.
Yes in faith Kitte, I shall thee and thine so charme,
That all women incarnate by thee may beware.

C. Custāce.
Nay, as for charming me, come hither if thou dare,
I shall cloute thee tyll thou stinke, both thee and thy traine,
And coyle thee mine owne handes, and sende thee home againe.

R. Royster.
Yea sayst thou me that dame? dost thou me threaten?
Goe we, I will see whether I shall be beaten.

M. Mery.
Nay for the paishe of God, let me now treate peace,
For bloudshed will there be in case this strife increace.
Ah good dame Custance, take better way with you.

C. Custāce.
Let him do his worst.

M. M.
Yeld in time.

R. R.
Come hēce thou.

Exeāt Roister & Mery.

Scæna. iiij.

Christian Custance. Anot Alyface. Tibet T. M Mumblecrust.
C. Custāce.
So sirra, if I should not with hym take this way,
I should not be ridde of him I thinke till doomes day,
I will call forth my folkes, that without any mockes
If he come agayne we may giue him rappes and knockes.
Mage Mumblecrust, come forth, and Tibet Talke apace.
Yea and come forth too, mistresse Annot Alyface.

Annot Aly.
I come.

Tibet.
& I am here.

M. Mumb.
and I am here too at lēgth.

C. Custāce.
Like warriers if nede bee, ye must shew your strength
The man that this day hath thus begiled you,
Is Ralph Roister Doister, whome ye know well inowe,
The moste loute and dastarde that euer on grounde trode.

Tib Talk.
I see all folke mocke hym when he goth abrode.

C. Custāce.
What pretie maide? will ye talke when I speake?

Tib. Talk.
No forsooth good mistresse.

C. Cust.
Will ye my tale breake?
He threatneth to come hither with all his force to fight,
I charge you if he come, on him with all your might.

M. Mumbl.
I with my distaffe will reache hym one rappe.

Tib Talk.
And I with my newe broome will sweepe hym one swappe,
And then with our greate clubbe I will reache hym one rappe.

An. Aliface.
And I with our skimmer will fling him one flappe.

Tib. Talk.
Then Trupenies fireforke will him shrewdly fray,
And you with the spitte may driue him quite away.

C. Custāce.
Go make all ready, that it may be een so.

Tib. Talk.
For my parte I shrewe them that last about it go.

Exeant.

Scæna. v.

Christian Custance. Trupenie. Tristram Trusty.
C. Custāce.
Trupenie dyd promise me to runne a great pace,
My friend Tristram Trusty to fet into this place.
In deede he dwelleth hence a good stert I confesse:
But yet a quicke messanger might twice since as I gesse,
Haue gone and come againe. Ah yond I spie him now.

Trupeny.
Ye are a slow goer sir, I make God auow.
My mistresse Custance will in me put all the blame,
Your leggs be longer than myne: come apace for shame.

C. Custāce.
I can thee thanke Trupenie, thou hast done right wele.

Trupeny.
Maistresse since I went no grasse hath growne on my hele,
But maister Tristram Trustie here maketh no speede.

C. Custāce.
That he came at all I thanke him in very deede,
For now haue I neede of the helpe of some wise man.

T. Trusty.
Then may I be gone againe, for none such I m.

Trupenie.
Ye may bee by your going: for no Alderman
Can goe I dare say, a sadder pace than ye can.

C. Custāce.
Trupenie get thee in, thou shalt among them knowe,
How to vse thy selfe, like a propre man I trowe.

Trupeny.
I go.

Ex.
C. C.
Now Tristrā Trusty I thāk you right much.
For at my first sending to come ye neuer grutch.

T. Trusty.
Dame Custance God ye saue, and while my life shall last,
For my friende Goodlucks sake ye shall not sende in wast.

C. Custāce.
He shal giue you thāks.

T. Trusty.
I wil do much for his sake

C. Custāce.
But alack, I feare, great displeasure shall be take.

T. Trusty.
Wherfore?

C. C.
For a foolish matter.

T. T.
What is your cause

C. Custāce.
I am yll accombred with a couple of dawes.

T. Trusty.
Nay weepe not woman: but tell me what your cause is
As concerning my friende is any thing amisse?

C. Custāce.
No not on my part: but here was Sym Suresby.

T. Trustie.
He was with me and tolde me so.

C. C.
And he stoode by
While Ralph Roister Doister with helpe of Merygreeke,
For promise of mariage dyd vnto me seeke.

T. Trusty.
And had ye made any promise before them twaine.

C. Custāce.
No I had rather be torne in pieces and slaine,
No man hath my faith and trouth, but Gawyn Goodlucke,
And that before Suresby dyd I say, and there stucke,
But of certaine letters there were suche words spoken.

T. Trustie.
He tolde me that too.

C. Cust.
And of a ring and token.
That Suresby I spied, dyd more than halfe suspect,
That I my faith to Gawyn Goodlucke dyd reiect.

T. Trusty.
But there was no such matter dame Custance in deede?

C. Custāce.
If euer my head thought it, God sende me yll speede.
Wherfore I beseech you, with me to be a witnesse,
That in all my lyfe I neuer intended thing lesse,
And what a brainsicke foole Ralph Roister Doister is,
Your selfe know well enough.

T. Trust.
Ye say full true ywis.

C. Custāce.
Bicause to bee his wife I ne graunt nor apply,
Hither will he com he sweareth by and by,
To kill both me and myne, and beate downe my house flat.
Therfore I pray your aide.

T. T.
I warrant you that.

C. Custāce.
Haue I so many yeres liued a sobre life,
And shewed my selfe honest, mayde, widowe, and wyfe,
And nowe to be abused in such a vile sorte,
Ye see howe poore Widowes lyue all voyde of comfort.

T. Trusty.
I warrant hym do you no harme nor wrong at all.

C. Custāce.
No, but Mathew Merygreeke doth me most appall,
That he woulde ioyne hym selfe with suche a wretched loute.

T. Trusty.
He doth it for a iest I knowe hym out of doubte,
And here cometh Merygreke.

C. C.
Then shal we here his mind.

Scæna. vj.

Merygreeke. Christian Custance. Trist. Trusty.
M. Mery.
Custance and Trustie both, I doe you here well finde.

C. Custāce.
Ah Mathew Merygreeke, ye haue vsed me well.

M. Mery.
Nowe for altogether ye must your answere tell.
Will ye haue this man, woman? or else will ye not?
Else will he come neuer bore so brymme nor tost so hot.

Tris. & Cu.
But why ioyn ye with him.

T. Tr.
For mirth?

C. C.
or else in sadnesse

M. Mery.
The more fond of you both hardly ye mater gesse.

Tristram.
Lo how say ye dame?

M. M.
Why do ye thinke dame Custāce
That in this wowyng I haue ment ought but pastance?

M. Mery.
Much things ye spake I wote, to maintaine his dotage.

C. Custāce.
But well might ye iudge I spake it all in mockage,
For why? Is Roister Doister a fitte husbande for you?

T. Trusty.
I dare say ye neuer thought it.

M. M.
No to God I vow.
And dyd not I knowe afore of the insurance
Betweene Gawyn Goodlucke, and Christian Custance?
And dyd not I for the nonce, by my conueyance,
Reade his letter in a wrong sense for daliance?
That if you coulde haue take it vp at the first bounde,
We should therat such a sporte and pastime haue founde,
That all the whole towne should haue ben the merier.

C. Custāce.
Ill ake your heades bothe, I was neuer werier,
Nor neuer more vexte since the first day I was borne.

T. Trusty.
But very well I wist he here did all in scorne.

C. Custāce.
But I feared therof to take dishonestie.

M. Mery.
This should both haue made sport, and shewed your honestie
And Goodlucke I dare sweare, your witte therin would low.

T. Trusty.
Yea, being no worse than we know it to be now.

M. Mery.
And nothing yet to late, for when I come to him,
Hither will he repaire with a sheepes looke full grim,
By plaine force and violence to driue you to yelde.

C. Custāce.
If ye two bidde me, we will with him pitche a fielde,
I and my maides together.

M. M.
Let vs see, be bolde.

C. Custāce.
Ye shal see womēs warre.

T. Trusty.
That fight wil I behold

M. Mery.
If occasion serue, takyng his parte full brim,
I will strike at you, but the rappe shall light on him.
When we first appeare.

C. Cust.
Then will I runne away
As though I were afeard.

T. Trusty.
Do you that part wel play
And I will sue for peace.

M. Mery.
And I will set him on.
Then will he looke as fierce as a Cotssold lyon.

T. Trusty.
But when gost thou for him?

M. M.
That do I very nowe.

C. Custāce
Ye shal find vs here.

M. M.
Wel god haue mercy on you.

Ex.
T. Trusty.
There is no cause of feare, the least boy in the streete:

C. Custāce.
Nay, the least girle I haue, will make him take his feete.
But hearke, me thinke they make preparation.

T. Trustie.
No force, it will be a good recreation.

C. Custāce.
I will stande within, and steppe forth speedily,
And so make as though I ranne away dreadfully.

Scæna. vij.

R. Royster. M. Merygreeke, C. Custance. D. Doughtie. Harpax. Tristram Trusty.
R. Royster.
Nowe sirs, keepe your ray, and see your heartes be stoute,
But where be these caitifes, me think they dare not route,
How sayst thou Merygreeke? What doth Kit Custāce say?

M. Mery.
I am loth to tell you.

R. R.
Tushe speake man, yea or nay?

M. Mery.
Forsooth sir, I haue spoken for you all that I can.
But if ye winne hir, ye must een play the man,
Een to fight it out, ye must a mans heart take.

R. Royster.
Yes, they shall know, and thou knowest I haue a stomacke.
A stomacke (quod you) yea, as good as ere man had.

R. Royster.
I trowe they shall finde and feele that I am a lad.

M. Mery.
By this crosse I haue seene you eate your meate as well,
As any that ere I haue seene of or heard tell,
A stomacke quod you? he that will that denie
I know was neuer at dynner in your companie.

R. Royster.
Nay, the stomacke of a man it is that I meane.

M. Mery.
Nay the stomacke of an horse or a dogge I weene.

R. Royster.
Nay a mans stomacke with a weapon meane I.

M. Mery.
Ten men can scarce match you with a spoone in a pie.

R. Royster.
Nay the stomake of a man to trie in strife.

M. Mery.
I neuer sawe your stomake cloyed yet in my lyfe.

R. Royster.
Tushe I meane in strife or fighting to trie.

M. Mery.
We shall see how ye will strike nowe being angry.

R. Royster.
Haue at thy pate then, and saue thy head if thou may.

M. Mery.
Nay then haue at your pate agayne by this day,

R. Royster.
Nay thou mayst not strike at me againe in no wise.

M. Mery.
I can not in fight make to you suche warrantise:
But as for your foes here let them the bargaine bie.

R. Royster.
Nay as for they, shall euery mothers childe die.
And in this my fume a little thing might make me,
To beate downe house and all, and else the deuill take me.

M. Mery.
If I were as ye be, by gogs deare mother,
I woulde not leaue one stone vpon an other.
Though she woulde redeeme it with twentie thousand poundes.

R. Royster.
It shall be euen so, by his lily woundes.

M. Mery.
Bee not at one with hir vpon any amendes.

R. Royster.
No though she make to me neuer so many frendes.
Not if all the worlde for hir woulde vndertake,
No not God hymselfe neither, shal not hir peace make,
On therfore, marche forwarde, soft, stay a whyle yet.

M. Mery.
On.

R R
Tary.

M. M.
Forth.

R. R.
Back.

M. M.
On.

R. R.
Soft. Now forwardset

C. Custāce.
What businesse haue we here? out alas, alas.

R. Roister.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Dydst thou see that Merygreeke? howe afrayde she was?
Dydst thou see how she fledde apace out of my sight?
Ah good sweete Custance I pitie hir by this light.

M. Mery.
That tender heart of yours wyll marre altogether,
Thus will ye be turned with waggyng of a fether.

R. Royster.
On sirs, keepe your ray.

M. M.
On forth, while this geare is hot

R. Royster.
Soft, the Armes of Caleys, I haue one thing forgot.

M. Mery.
What lacke we now?

R. R.
Retire, or else we be all slain.

M. Mery.
Backe for the pashe of God, backe sirs, backe againe.
What is the great mater?

R. R.
This hastie forth goyng
Had almost brought vs all to vtter vndoing,
It made me forget a thing most necessarie.

M. Mery.
Well remembred of a captaine by sainct Marie.

R. Royster.
It is a thing must be had.

M. M.
Let vs haue it then.

R. Royster.
But I wote not where nor how.

M. M.
Then wote not I when.

M. Mery.
But what is it?

R. R.
Of a chiefe thing I am to seeke.

M. Mery.
Tut so will ye be, when ye haue studied a weke.
But tell me what it is?

R. R.
I lacke yet an hedpiece.

M. Mery.
The kitchen collocauit, the best hennes to grece,
Runne, fet it Dobinet, and come at once withall,
And bryng with thee my potgunne, hangyng by the wall,
I haue seene your head with it full many a tyme,
Couered as safe as it had bene with a skrine:
And I warrant it saue your head from any stroke,
Except perchaunce to be amased with the smoke:
I warrant your head therwith, except for the mist,
As safe as if it were fast locked vp in a chist:
And loe here our Dobinet commeth with it nowe.

D. Dough.
It will couer me to the shoulders well inow.

M. Mery.
Let me see it on.

R. R.
In fayth it doth metely well.

M. Mery.
There can be no fitter thing. Now ye must vs tell
What to do.

R. R.
Now forth in ray sirs, and stoppe no more.

M. Mery.
Now sainct George to borow, Drum dubbe a dubbe afore.

T. Trusty.
What meane you to do sir, committe manslaughter.

R. Royster.
To kyll fortie such, is a matter of laughter.

T. Trusty.
And who is it sir, whome ye intende thus to spill?

R. Royster.
Foolishe Custance here forceth me against my will.

T. Trusty.
And is there no meane your extreme wrath to slake.
She shall some amendes vnto your good mashyp make.

R. Royster.
I will none amendes.

T. Tr.
Is hir offence so sore?

M. Mery.
And he were a loute she coulde haue done no more.
She hath calde him foole, and dressed him like a foole.
Mocked him lyke a foole, vsed him like a foole.

T. Trusty.
Well yet the Sheriffe, the Iustice, or Constable,
Hir misdemeanour to punishe might be able.

R. Royster.
No sir, I mine owne selfe will in this present cause,
Be Sheriffe, and Iustice, and whole Iudge of the lawes,
This matter to amende, all officers be I shall,
Constable, Bailiffe, Sergeant.

M. M.
And hangman and all.

T. Trusty.
Yet a noble courage, and the hearte of a man
Should more honour winne by bearyng with a woman.
Therfore take the lawe, and lette hir aunswere therto.

R. Royster.
Merygreeke, the best way were euen so to do.
What honour should it be with a woman to fight?

M. Mery.
And what then, will ye thus forgo and lese your right?

R. Royster.
Nay, I will take the lawe on hir withouten grace.

T. Trusty.
Or yf your mashyp coulde pardon this one trespace.
I pray you forgiue hir.

R. R.
Hoh?

M. M.
Tushe tushe sir do not.
Be good maister to hir.

R. R.
Hoh?

M. M.
Tush I say do not.

M. Mery.
And what shall your people here returne streight home?

R. Roister.
Yea, leuie the campe sirs, and hence againe eche one,

T. Trustie.
But be still in readinesse if I happe to call,
I can not tell what sodaine chaunce may befall.

M. Mery.
Do not off your harnesse sirs I you aduise,
At the least for this fortnight in no maner wise,
Perchaunce in an houre when all ye thinke least,
Our maisters appetite to fight will be best.
But soft, ere ye go, haue once at Custance house.

R. Royster.
Soft, what wilt thou do?

M. M.
Once discharge my harquebouse
And for my heartes ease, haue once more with my potgoon.

R. Royster.
Holde thy handes else is all our purpose cleane fordoone.

M. Mery.
And it cost me my life.

R. R.
I say thou shalt not.

M. Mery.
By the matte but I will. Haue once more with haile shot
I will haue some penyworth, I will not leese all.

Scæna. viij.

M. Merygreeke. C. Custance. R. Roister. Tib. T. An. Alyface. M. Mumblecrust. Trupenie. Dobinet Doughtie. Harpax. Two drummes with their Ensignes.
C. Custāce.
What caitifes are those that so shake my house wall?

M. Mery.
Ah sirrha now Custance if ye had so muche wit
I would see you aske pardon, and your selues submit.

C. Custāce.
Haue I still this adoe with a couple of fooles?

M. Mery.
Here ye what she saith?

C. C.
Maidēs come forth wt your tooles

R. Royster.
In a ray.

M. M.
Dubba dub sirrha.

R. R.
In a ray,
They come sodainly on vs.

M. M.
Dubbadub.

R. R.
In a ray.
That euer I was borne, we are taken tardie.

M. Mery.
Now sirs, quite our selues like tall men and hardie.

C. Custāce.
On afore Trupenie, holde thyne owne Annot,
On towarde them Tibet, for scape vs they can not.
Come forth Madge Mumblecrust, so stande fast togither.

M. Mery.
God sende vs a faire day.

R. R.
See they marche on hither.

Tib. Talk.
But mistresse.

C. C.
What sayst yu?

Tib.
Shal I go fet our goose?

C. Custāce.
What to do?

Tib.
To yonder Captain I will turne hir loose
And she gape and hisse at him, as she doth at me,
I durst ieoparde my hande she wyll make him flee.

C. Custāce.
On forward.

R. R.
They com.

M. M.
Stād.

R. R.
Hold.

M. M.
Kepe

R. R.
There.

M. M.
Strike.

R. R.
Take heede.

C. Custāce.
Wel sayd Trupeny.

Trup.
Ah whooresons.

C. C.
wel don in deede

M. Mery.
Holde thine owne Harpax, downe with them Dobinet.

C. Custāce.
Now Madge, there Annot: now sticke them Tibet.

Tib. Talk.
All my chiefe quarell is to this same little knaue,
That begyled me last day, nothyng shall him saue.

D. Dough.
Downe with this litle queane, that hath at me such spite,
Saue you from hir maister, it is a very sprite.

C. Custāce.
I my selfe will mounsire graunde captaine vndertake,

R. Royster.
They win grounde.

M. M.
Saue your selfe sir, for gods sake.

R. Royster.
Out, alas, I am slaine, helpe.

M. M.
Saue your self.

R. R.
Alas.

M. Mery.
Nay then, haue at you mistresse.

R. R.
Thou hittest me, alas.

M. Mery.
I wil strike at Custāce here.

R. R.
Thou hittest me.

M. M.
so I wil

M. Mery.
Nay mistresse Custance.

R. R.
Alas, thou hittest me still.

R. Royster.
Hold.

M. M.
Saue your self sir.

R. R.
Help, out alas I am slain

M. Mery.
Truce, hold your hands, truce for a pissing while or twaine:
Now how say you Custance, for sauing of your life,
Will ye yelde and graunt to be this gentmans wife?

C. Custāce.
Ye tolde me he loued me, call ye this loue?

M. Mery.
He loued a while euen like a turtle doue.

C. Custāce.
Gay loue God saue it, so soone hotte, so soone colde.

M. Mery.
I am sory for you: he could loue you yet so he coulde.

R. Royster.
Nay by cocks precious she shall be none of mine.

M. Mery.
Why so?

R. R.
Come away, by the matte she is mankine.
I durst aduenture the losse of my right hande,
If she dyd not slee hir other husbande:
And see if she prepare not againe to fight.

M. Mery.
What then? sainct George to borow, our Ladies knight.

R. Royster.
Slee else whom she will, by gog she shall not slee mee.

M. Mery.
How then?

R. R.
Rather than to be slaine, I will flee.

C. Custāce.
Too it againe, my knightesses, downe with them all.

R. Royster.
Away, away, away, she will else kyll vs all.

M. Mery.
Nay sticke to it, like an hardie man and a tall.

R. Royster.
Oh bones, thou hittest me. Away, or else die we shall.

M. Mery.
Away for the pashe of our sweete Lord Iesus Christ.

C. Custāce.
Away loute and lubber, or I shall be thy priest.
Exeant om.
So this fielde is ours we haue driuen them all away.

Tib. Talk.
Thankes to God mistresse, ye haue had a faire day.

C. Custāce.
Well nowe goe ye in, and make your selfe some good cheere.

Oēs pariter.
We goe.

T. Trust.
Ah sir, what a field we haue had heere.

C. Custāce.
Friend Tristram, I pray you be a witnesse with me.

T. Trusty.
Dame Custance, I shall depose for your honestie,
And nowe fare ye well, except some thing else ye wolde.

C. Custāce.
Not now, but when I nede to sende I will be bolde.
Exeat.
I thanke you for thess paines. And now I wyll get me in,
Now Roister Doister will no more wowyng begin.

Ex.