University of Virginia Library

SCEN. 4.

Memory, an old decrepit man, in a black Veluet Cassock, a Taffata Gowne furred, with white Grogaram, a white beard, Ueluet slippers, a Watch, Staffe, &c.
Anamnestes his Page, in a graue Sattin sute Purple, Buskins, a Garland of Bayes and Rosemary, a gimmall ring with one linke hanging, Ribbands and Threds tyed to some of his fingers, in his hand a paire of Table-bookes, &c.
Memorie. Anamnestes. Phantastes. Sens. Com.
Mem.

How soone a wise man shall haue his wish.

Com. Se.

Memory the season of your comming is very ripe.

Ph.

Had you staid a little longer 'twould haue bin starke rottē.

Mem.

I am glad I sau'd it from the Swine—Spretious I
haue forgot something. O my purse, my purse, why Anamnestes?
Remembrance where art thou Anamnestes Remembrance, that
vild Boy is alwayes gadding, I remember he was at my heeles,
euen now and now the vild Rascall is vanisht.

Pha.

Is he not here? why then in my imagination hee's left
behind, ôla Anamnestes remembrance.

An.
(running in hast.)

Anon, anon, sir anon, anon sir, anon, anon
sir, anon, anon, sir.

Mem.

Ha sirra, what a brawling's here?

An.

I do but giue you an answer with anon Sir.

Mem.

You answer sweetly, I haue cald you three or foure
times one after another.

An.

Sir, I hope I answered you 3. or 4. times, one in the neck
of another. But if your good worship haue lent me any more
calls, tell me, and Ile repay them as I am a Gentleman.

Mem.

Leaue your tattle, had you come at first I had not spent
so much breath in vaine.

An.

The truth is Sir, the first time you called, I heard you
not, the second I vnderstood you not, the third I knew not
whether it were you or no: the fourth I could not tell where
you were, and that's the reason I answered so suddenly.

Mem.

Goe sirra, runne, seeke euery where, I haue lost my
purse some where.

An.

I go sir: Go sirra, seeke, runne, I haue lost, bring, here's a
Dogges life with a poxe, shall I bee alwayes vsde like a water-Spanniell.

Exit Anam:

Com.

Come good Maister Register, I wonder you be so late now-adayes.

Mem.

My good Lord, I remember that I knew your Grand-father
in this your place, and I remember your Grand-fathers
great Grand-fathers, Grand-fathers Fathers, Father, yet in those
dayes I neuer remember that any of them could say, that Register
Memory euer broke one minute of his appointment.

Com. S.

Why good Father, why are you so late now a dayes?

Mem.

Thus 'tis, the most customers I remember my selfe to
haue, are (as your Lordship knowes) Schollers, and now a
daies the most of them are become Critticks, bringing me home
such paltry things to lay vp for them, that I can hardly finde
them againe.

Ph.

Iupiter, Iupiter, I had thought these Flyes had bit none
but my selfe, do Critticks tickle you yfaith?

Mem.

Very familiarly: for they must know of me forsooth
how euery idle word is written in all the mustie moath-eaten
Manuscripts, kept in all the old Libraries in euery Cittie betwixt
England and Peru.

Com. Sen.

Indeed I haue noted these times to affect Antiquities,
more then is requisite.

Mem.

I remember in the age of Assaracus and Ninus, and
about the warres of Thebes, and the siege of Troy, there was few
things committed to my charge, but those that were well worthy
the preseruing, but now euery trifle must be wrapped vp in
the volume of eternitie. A rich pudding-wife, or a Cobler cānot
die but I must immortalize his name with an Epitaph: A dog
cannot pisse in a Noblemans shoe, but it must be sprinkled into
the Chronicles, so that I neuer could remēber my Treasure more
full, & neuer emptier of honorable, and true heroycall actions.

Ph.

By your leaue Memory you are not alone troubled,
Chronologers many of them are so so Phantasticke, as
when they bring a Captaine to the Combate, lifting vp
his reuengefull arme to dispart the head of his enemie,
they'le hold vp his armes so long till they haue bestowed
three or foure pages in describing the gold hilts of his
threating Fauchion. So that in my Fancie the reader may well
wonder his aduersary stabs him not, before he strikes, moreouer
they are become most palpable flatterers alwaies begging at my
gates for Inuention.

Com.

This is a great fault in a Chronologer to turne Parasite:
An absolute history should bee in feare of none, neither
should hee write any thing more then truth for friend-ship, or
lesse for hate, but keepe himselfe equall and constant in all his
discourses, but for vs we must bee contented, for as our honors
increase, so must the burthen of the cares of our offices vrge vs
to waxeheauy.

Ph.

But not till our backes breake, s'lud there was neuer any
so haunted as I am, this daie there comes a Sophister to my
house, knocks at my dore, his errand being ask'd, forsoth his answere
was to borrow a faire sute of conceites out of my wardrop,
to apparraile a shewe he had in hand, and what thinke you
is the plot?

Com.

Nay I know not, for I am little acquainted with such
toies.

Ph.

Meane-while he's somewhat acquainted with you, for
he's bould to bring your person vpon the stage.

Com.

What me? I cannot remember, that I was euer brought
vpon the stage before.

Ph.

Yes you and you, and my selfe with all my Phantisticall
tricks and humors, but I trow I haue fitted him with Fooleries
I trust heele neuer troble me againe.

Com.

O times, O manners, when Boies dare to traduce men
in authority was euer such an attempt heard?

Mem.

I remember there was. For (to say the truth) at my
last being at Athens (It is now, let me see, about 1800. yeares a
goe) I was at a Commedie of Aristophanes making, (I shall neuer
forget it) The Arch-gouernor of Athens tooke me by the hād

and placed me, and there I say, I saw Socrates abused most grosly,
himselfe being then a present spectator: I remember he sate
full against me, and did not so much as shew the least countenance
of discontent.

Com.

In those dayes it was lawfull, but now the abuse of
such liberty is vnsufferable.

Ph.

Thinke what you will of it, I thinke 'tis done, and I
thinke it is acting by this time; harke, harke, what drummings
yonder, Ile laye my life they are come to present the shewe
I spake off.

Com.

It may be so; stay weele see what 'tis.