 | The Honest Lavvyer |  |
Act. Quint.
Enter old Brace, the true Abbot.Abbot.
That breath, which from his natiue ayre doth fall.
How many weary pases haue I measur'd!
How many knowne and vnknowne dangers past,
Since I commenc'd my tedious Pilgrimage,
The last great worke of my death-yeelding age!
Yet am I blest, that my returning bones
Shall be rak't vp in Englands peacefull earth.
Did not looke squint on your felicities!
How other Countries enuy, what you loth,
And surfet on: and would make that their pride,
Which is by your contempt still vilefied!
This sicknesse fulnesse breedes in most mens blood;
Now to my deputy: here his glories end.
But stay: he comes to meet me. Ile attend.
Enter Curfew.
Curf.
Confound this damn'd foxe: he has cheated mee of
the best prey, I euer shark'd for. Would I could light on him;
I haue a Constable here should make him stand.
Brac.
What's this? sharking, foxing, and a pistoll?
Th'embleme of theefe, cheater, murderer?
Sure, this vile Elderne was not of my planting.
I know him: Tis his brother, to whose trust I did infeoffe my
place.
Enter Messenger.
Mess.
I was directed this way to the Abbot.
My lord—the Iudge detain'd by sicknesse from to morrow's
Session, desires your lordships ayde to the supply of his owne
place. Th'assistant Iustices rest their determining sentence
on your lippes.
Curf.
Ile giue my old attendance.
Mess.
Your lordships leaue.
Exeunt Mess. & Curf.
Bra.
I leaue your lordship too.
I must about this mischiefe to preuent:
Ile force you both your offices repent.
Exit.
Iay.
So, so, so. My customers drop in roundly. Welcome, M
r.
Gripe, and the rest of my good friends, welcome! I am very
glad to see you here. My house was not grac'd with an Vsurer,
and vnder-Sheriffe, many a day before; though I ha'been
pester'd with abundance of honester fellowes. Speake, shal's
be merry? what will you haue to dinner?
Gripe.
A rope. What dost thou tell me of dinner?
Iay.
No Sir, that shall be kept for your supper.
Brom.
Giue me some Sacke and Aqua vitæ. I wil be drunk
presently.
Grif.
It's cleere. I haue twenty cases for't.
The concealing of murder is but man-slaughter. I must ha'
my booke.
Brom.
Giue's some Sacke, I say: mun tut, &c.
Enter Nice.
Nice.
My Vncle committed? Iustice it selfe sent to the
Iayle?
Gripe.
Cousin, sweet Cousin, runne, scudde, fly—to Sir
Bare Notwithstanding: he lyes but three miles off; he's in my
debt: bid him release me, and Ile release him.
Griff.
Stay Sir. He's in my debt too: I ha'solicited for Sir
Bare these seuen yeeres, and haue nothing but bare thankes.
Brom.
Nay then, take me with you. Thus—
Enter Beniamin, Robin, Thirsty; Thirsty climbing vp into a tree. Rob. into a bush.
Ben.
Ha you your lesson perfect?
Thirst.
Yes, yes: as a Mid-wife her errand to a Citizens
wife. There's not an Owle in an Iuy-bush, nor a Parrat
at a Drugsters dore, has whoo whoop, or walke Knaue,
more perfit.
Robin, do't cunningly. My Dad shall be
Only to me beholding for his life.
By that aduantage I recall his loue.
Grip.
Cousin, fly euery step. Remember, like a Iury-man,
you goe vpon life and death.
Exit Nice.
Brom.
Happinesse grant, that no Hare crosse him i'th' way:
his superstitious legges will retire, though wee hang for't.
Come, shall we keep the rule of the place, and drinke drunke
now?
Exeunt.
Enter Nice.
Ben.
Now kindred, whither trot you so fast?
Nic.
Oh Cousin, about a deede of charitie; to saue your
father, and two or three knaues more from hanging. I am going
to Sir Bare Notwithstanding; to saue them out of prison:
they haue sau'd him often.
Ben.
Sir Bare Notwithstanding, he's a great man, Cousin.
Nic.
Hee had three Lordships fell to him at a clappe; the
worst worth 400. a yeere.
Ben.
Yet hee's bare notwithstanding.
Nic.
Hee has sold his Caroch with foure Flanders mares,
because he would retire himselfe and liue ith' Country.
Ben.
Yet he's Bare Notwitstanding. But to himselfe Cousin,
farewell.
Nic.
To him, quoth he? I will to him, were the diuell in
my way.
Thirst.
Porke, porke.
Nic.
The diuell porke you. What dismall bird crokes disaster
to my iourney!
Thir.
Porke.
Nic.
Nay, if the destinies haue set the Rauen against mee,
Ile returne sure—yet let me see. So my Vncle may bee
hang'd, Ile on, come what will.
Thir.
Porke.
Nic.
O this blacke bird tolles like a passing-bell,
My owne sad mischiefe and my Vncles knell.
Yet why am I so timorous; when charitie
Bids me go on, shall a Rauen hinder me?
Rob, flashes powder.
Ile keep aloofe and passe—oh a spirit, a spirit.
Take all your fortunes, I'le no further gang.
It's an vnhallow'd place, a dismall day.
Betide what will, Il'e backe againe some way.
Exit.
Rob.
Come downe, Rauen.
Thirst.
Come out, Spirit.
Rob.
Blind, credulous foole! He that shall trust at need
Such nice and tottring cockscombes, shall thus speed.
Should his sicke father send him for some drugges,
Hee would turne backe at such imagin'd bugges.
Enter Beniamin, Sager, VVife, Anne.
Ben.
Come, mother, friend, and wife; take these back places,
Where you may heare vnseene: that when time serues,
I may produce you. Works and houres are spent
Then well, when we doe good, or ill preuent.
Wif.
I cannot iudge, what is this dayes successe.
All-ruling powers the doubtfull sequele blesse.
Enter Curfew with other assistants, Uaster in a Priests habit, Ualentine like a Physician, the Iaylor with Gripe, Bromley, Griffin, &c.
Curf.
My Lord, whose place I personate, being sicke,
Hath thus design'd mee, both to heare and censure
The criminall causes, which offend the peace
Of our dread Soueraigne, and his subiects weale.
Whiles we launce Vlcers, we the body heale.
The charge I giue in short, you of the Iury,
Looke to your Oath and conscience: let not fauour
Shut vp your eyes, nor malice open them
Too wide. You vnderstand, our lawes are good.
Tis pitie that they should be writ in blood.
But since conniuence at vnlawfull deeds
Giues but encouragement, and wee cannot strike
With sword of Iustice the deseruing faults,
Except you giue the persons to our hands:
Proceede to the Inditements.
Grip.
We are all cast away. Sir Bare is not come.
Enter Abbot with guide.
Ab.
Pull downe that counterfeit, proud, arrogant, puffe:
Could your intrusion not content it selfe
T'vsurpe my office, but you must abuse
The Kings deputed Iudge?
All.
Downe with him, downe with him.
Abb.
Iaylor, receiue him to your custodie,
Till our iust censure giue him punishment.
Foxe, I shall hunt you out.
Curf.
Do't with a poxe.
The goose sometimes must sit and iudge the Fox.
Abb.
Proceed; the day hastens.
Clark.
Marian Sorrow widow, yeeld thy body, and saue thy
baile.
Ben.
Sir, shee is dead: her felonie is answer'd
Before a higher Court.
Clarke.
That is the woman that Gripe is suspected to haue
poyson'd. Godfrey Gripe stand to the Barre. You are indited
for the murther of Marian Sorrow widdow: guilty or not?
Grip.
Not guilty, my Lord: let all the world testifie of my
honest carriage. I haue liued all my dayes in good name and
fame.
Abb.
Stand not vpon your credit and good deeds.
Your haruest would be small, if like your seeds.
If all that know thee stood about this place,
And had free liberty to speake their thoughts,
Round ecchoing curses would amaze thy soule,
And with hells damned crue thy name enroule.
But when the Widdow, Orphane call for plagues
On thy blacke life, thou hy'st vnto thy bagges;
As solace 'gainst all woes lay in thy pelfe.
Thou hast no god but gold: that Deitie
Thou shouldst adore, and would still succour thee,
Is quite reiected. And that Idol, money,
Which beares away thy confidence and heart,
When thou art plagued, aggrauates thy smart.
Thou art the Deuils Executioner.
His rankest plague on earth's an Vsurer.
Spirits in hell whip soules: extorting slaues
Torment poore bodies so before their graues.
Thou art a gulfe, poore mens estates to drinke.
A quagmire; none passe ore thee, but they sinke.
Vnlesse Strepsiades-like, men could deuise
To plucke the Moone by Sorcerie from the skies;
Thy moneth and gaine will come. Like some at sea,
(Yet dangerlesse of shipwracke more then they)
Thou slumbrest in a base lethargicke swoone.
Let others toyle, thy iournye's done as soone.
Ben.
Will not this moue him?
Abb.
Nature in all inferiour things hath set
A pitch or terme, when they no more shall get
Increase and off-spring. Vnrepayred houses
Fall to decay: old Cattell cease to breed.
And sappelesse trees deny more fruite or seed.
The earth would hart-lesse and infertile be,
If it should neuer haue a Iubile.
Only the Vsurers money genders still:
The longer, lustier: Age this doth not kill.
He liues to see his moneys moneys money,
Euen to a hundred generations reach.
He, whiles his interest money in do's troule,
Cares not to lose the principall, his Soule.
He like a cleanly Alchymist can soke
And draw much siluer, yet waste none in smoke.
Thou lendst, like water powr'd on sea-cole fire,
Or on a lode of Lime a showre of rayne.
Ben.
His conscience has deafe eares.
Abb.
When all is done,
And thou hast swel'd thy heapes; to say no more,
Thy coffer's onely rich, and thou art poore.
This common plague is on all Vsurers showne:
Th'haue much, yet are not masters of their owne.
One day thy stintlesse mind shall haue enough;
When the diuided peeces of thy selfe
Shall in their seuerall doomed mansions dwell:
Enough of mould in graue, of fire in hell.
But I spend breath in vaine; come, let's proceed.
Gripe.
No further. You haue made my conscience bleed.
I heere confesse my selfe guilty of all,
Euen of this murder too.
Abbot.
Let mercie fall on thy distressed soule. Now to the
rest.
Clark.
Nicholas Bromley, you are indited for the murther of
William Sager, &c. Guilty or not?
Brom.
Not guilty? Who testifies against me!
Ab.
In case of Murder should we neuer iudge
By circumstanciall likelihoods and presumptions,
No life could be secure.
Enter Nice.
Nic.
Puffe! shift for your selues; Sir Bare Notwithstanding
dares not be seene.
Brom.
O, I am lost.
My Lord, I'm guilty: so is Griffin too:
He did conceale the fact, that I did doe,
We shar'd the Lands together.
Abbot.
Powerfull truth!
Murder will out, though by the Actors mouth.
Gripe.
O Beniamin, I haue vndone
My life, my state, my credite, and my Sonne.
Rich men as well as poore, must turne to dust.
Ben.
Me thinkes I could preuent all this.
Gripe.
Alas, thou lov'st me; but tis not possible.
Ben.
Sir, I haue here a booke already drawne,
Seale to it freely, and Ile saue your life.
You shall confirme me your vndoubted heire,
And then surrender Vasters morgag'd lands.
Grip.
Tis done.
seales.
Ben.
My Lord and all this bench be witnesse to it.
Then thus I quit you, widdow, appeare in Court.
In earnest, see, she liues, that dy'd in sport.
Wife.
Sir, thanke your Drugster, else I had dy'd by you.
And you for me receiu'd a murderers due.
Grip.
So, I am cousen'd finely, finely—
Val.
My Lord, I challenge this widdow for cheating me of
300. pounds. This is one of her old trickes.
Abb.
How's this?
Val.
My Lord, my selfe and two intrusted friends
Came hither to pay money on a bond,
Whiles the receiuer did deferre his comming;
We gaue this coozening woman, being Hostice,
The whole summe to lay vp: and straightly charg'd her,
Not to deliuer't, but to vs all together.
She sayes one of vs three demanded it
Of her in haste, and ranne away: and thus
We lost our money, and the bond lies forfeit.
Ben.
Your Lordships leaue. Tis true, she not denies,
But they so charg'd her, and she was so coozend.
Therefore she yeelds to paiment. Let 'hem come
All three together, they shall haue the money.
Grif.
Vpon my faith, a prettie quillet.
Abb.
Wittie and iust. How say you? heere produce
The other two, your satisfaction's ready.
Ben.
The widdow's cleard: but master Valentine—
Nay, man, come neerer, you'd haue present pay.
Val.
No, Sir, let it euen goe.
Ben.
So must not you.
Which like a subtle Quacksaluer, you robd
My father of; Sprites, Fairies—
Val.
I am cob'd.
Grip.
It's true, my lord: this is one of the Fairies. Iustice,
Iustice.
Val.
Well, if there be no remedie, I hope,
I shall not dance alone vpon the rope.
My lord, here's the other Fairie.
Abb.
O Sir, haue I found you?
Pull off that borrowd habite from his backe.
O that such foule deeds should be hid in blacke.
Gripe.
My Lord, this Widow's accessary too:
She plotted, she receiu'd. Iustice, iustice.
Ab.
But late thy song was mercy, now all iustice?
Here's all the goodnes of an Vsurer.
She sau'd his life, he would now hang her.
Gripe.
She has robb'd me, vndone me.
Val.
It is most true, my lord, she plotted all.
Curf.
(Your villanie, Ostice, we shall now retort.
You cheated vs, and we will hang you for't.
Ben.
How doe these mischiefes grow, like Hidra's heads,
faster by cutting off!
Vast.
Prodigious villaines! will they
thus cast away an innocent woman?
And for my fault behold my poore wife dye.
Ben.
My lord, vpon my soule this woman's cleare:
And only malice thus accuseth her.
Ab.
Speake, woman, art thou guilty?
Wife.
My lord, I begge a word with my Confessor,
Then I shall answere. Sir, a word in priuate.
To Vaster.
Now Vaster, ope thy vnbeleeuing eyes:
Lo, thy deuoted wife for thy sinne dyes.
Yeeld but this kindnesse to my latest breath,
Thou hate'st me liuing, loue me yet in death.
Farewell—My lord, I will not say, I'm guilty;
Do as your euidence and wisedome leades you.
Ab.
This knot is hard to vndo.
Vast.
My lord, Ile help you.
This woman cleare, and those two periur'd knaues.
We three are guilty: let your sentence come.
I haue deseru'd, will not despaire my doome.
Wife.
My lord, he sayes not true: hee's innocent: I guilty.
Ab.
Speake on your soules, which of these tongues speak
truth.
Val., Curf.
My lord, the woman's cleare.
Ab.
Pernicious Villaines, hopelesse to be good:
That thus haue stroue to spill the guiltlesse bloud.
Widow, y'are quitted. Sir, waite you your doome.
Vast.
With patience. Beniamin Gripe, I here accuse you for
murdering Richard Vaster.
Ab.
How?
Vast.
My lord, I found that Vaster dying, bury'd him,
Saw him receiuing death by this mans sword.
Theft's a great sin, but murder most abhorr'd.
Ab.
Speake; is this possible?
Ben.
We met in single combate in the field:
It seemes his life vnto my sword did yeeld.
Ann.
Ay me, my father slaine?
Rob.
And by his friend?
Fate, whither will thy proiects tend!
Ann.
My husbands hand my fathers life vndoes:
For this fact he must dye: thus both I lose.
Ben.
Forgiue me all, by me you all haue lost,
The wife a Husband, children a deare Parent:
Thus I returne you all some recompence.
Nan thou shalt lose a husband.
An.
Heauens defend.
Ben.
Mother, you lose a son, brother a friend.
Wife.
Can nature so degenerate, that a man
should liue, stand by, and see another suffer for murdering
him?
Vast.
Once againe off disguise.
My lord, thus I preuent this fear'd disaster
My second case pull'd off, I am plaine Vaster.
Rob.
My father?
Wife.
My deare husband.
Vast.
Most, most deare friend.
My loue to you doth beyond bounds extend.
I here present the Kings most gracious pardon
For vs three here: heauen no lesse pardon vs.
Now to my wife: see wench, I am new borne;
Renc'd from the plague of a suspected horne.
Blacke Iaundeys of the minde, thou fained spirit,
That haunts mens quiet thoughts with troubling shades.
Pernicious Ielousie, that like needlesse Physicke
Diuertest health to voluntary sicknesse,
I brush thee off like dust. See, I am now
New marry'd to my loue and to my life.
Neuer could man boast a more constant wife.
Deare Beniamin, now Sonne, what I haue left
Of all my shipwrack'd fortbnes, shall be thine.
Ben.
Resume your former state, my father yeelds it.
Vast.
Thankes to your honestie, not his; yet thus,
Some meanes of satisfaction I haue found;
Ile pay him backe his lost three hundred pound.
The fairie money, which was iust the price
Of my redeemed lands.
Ben.
Now master Bromley,
That vniuersall mercie to our guilt,
May be affoorded, and no blood be spilt:
Surrender vp your lease for the three liues
To Sagers wife and children, and Ile quit you.
Brom.
I do most freely yeeld it.
Sag.
Sager liues,
And hartie thankes for your forc'd kindnesse giues.
Abb.
Happy delusions! in such waics of ill,
I wish men may be thus mistaken still.
Nic.
Rauens, and Sprites, and Fairies, and Hares and diuels-
Thus haue I lost my wench, lost my money, lost my watch,
lost my wits. I doe here renounce the faith of all Almanackes,
Physiogmoners, Palmists, Fortune-tellers. Erra Pater was an
Asse, and so are Prognosticators, his children, from generation
to generation.
Grip.
I haue drunke powerfull physicke, and the Dropsie
Dries vp like dew at the ascending Sunne.
Vaster, take back your lands; and for the money,
Giue it my sonne in portion with your daughter.
Hencefoorth Ile study to requite the wrongs,
Which I haue done poore men by vsurie,
And vomit vp th'extortions, that doe lie
As vndigested crudities on my conscience.
My future life shall bee in mercie spent.
I'm Gripe no more; that name I doe repent.
Abb.
All Chronicles be fill'd with this; and let it
Be as a wonder to all eares imparted.
England had once an Vsurer conuerted.
| The Honest Lavvyer | |