University of Virginia Library


33

The third Scœne.

Enter Ralph and Dobson by the left Scœne.
Ralph.

This is the vertue of Sack boy. Who would
toile in durt for whay and butter-milke, or the windie
juice of Pome-waters upon Sundayes? Now could I be as
valiant as—nothing.


Dobs.

I could fight with an Army of Polecats, so they
were not Women.


Ralph.

I could take the wall of three times three Taylors,
though in the morning, and at a Bakers stall.


Dobs.

That were a way to have thy skin bodkind full
of ilet holes.


Ralph.

If I should throw downe three or foure postes.


Dobs.

What then?


Ralph.

What then! why, I would not stay to take
them up.


Susan.

Who are these? observe.


Ralph.

Give me an armour of Sack; I am shot-free.


Dobs.

Whilst my Master paye's the reckoning.


Susan.

Mistris Dorothy, I have fasten'd on a designe for
rare sport. My friends.


Dorot.

Will you talke to strangers in the street?


Ralph.

What say you pretty paire of Wag-tailes? doe
you want Play-mates?


Susan.

Will you doe a courtesie for a Gentleuman?


Ralph.

Within dores, or without?


Susan.

You seeme to be valiant.


Dobs.

They that trie us shall finde our mettall.


Susan.

Perceive you not two men yonder in severall
places?


Ralph.

Wee see somthing, but they may as well be
stockes.


Susan.

For any manhood that's in them. If you will but


34

beat them a little, besides a Gentleumans thankes, some other
reward shall attend it.


Ralph.

How are we sure they are Cowards?


Susan.

You may trust the word of a Gentleuman.


Dobs.

Come, come, thou standest doubting like a cowardly
foole. These may bee Gentlewoemen of good fashion,
and apt to take fire at valour. Who knowes what
preferment's neere us? We have persons.


Ral.

Why then forwards: call upon sack, Dobson, sack.


Warr.

Who are these come towards me? my courage
begins to have an ague.


Spruce.

Who may these be? my wish (I hope) some
good fellowes to rob him.


Dobs.

What was our Commission Ralph? to beat them,
and not kill them.


Ralph.

To kill them and not hurt them? Call upon
Sacke, Dobson: I begin to be affraid. I can perceive his
sword; he shakes it fearefully.


Dobs.

Draw thine-then; and sack, sack the walles
of Troy.


Warr.

The rogue Spruce hath sent them to beate mee.
'Tis so. I must shift for my selfe.


Ralph.

Sirrah, thou man of feare and trembling. Call
upon Sacke, Dobson.


Warr.

Alas, what meane you Gentlemen?


Ralph.

Not so gentle neither. Wee are fiery furious,
and command thee in the name of Sack, resigne thy weapon;
and submit to be corrected by our valour.


Warr.

Kinde Gentlemen, I hope you'l not kill me. I'le
doe any thing, rather then be kill'd.


Ralph.

A handsome beating shall asswage our fury.


Warr.

Sweet Gentlemen, I'le doe any thing rather then
be beaten.


Spruce.

'Tis so; they are robbing him, and I scorne to
aid him. Teach the rogue to be such a coward: he might
have come to me.



35

Dobs.

Are you prepar'd Sir?


Warr.

Mercifull Gentlemen: I have some money, a
Cloake and a good Beaver: I'le give you all, and forgive
you too, so you'l not beat me.


Dobs.

This was beyond our expectation.


Ralph.

Our mercy may bee brought to a composition.
But should we be pittifull, could you be content, since you
cannot fight in your owne defence, to lye in our defence.


Warr.

I'le say or sweare any thing, rather then be kill'd
or beaten.


Ralph.

That we did beat you?


Warr.

That you left mee dead. I'le lye at a Surgeons
these two moneths; and pretend that my skull was broken
in twelve places: that halfe my braines were putrified
and taken out. I'le be mad all my life after to confirme
people in the beliefe of it.


Ralph.

Depart then, and praise us.


Warr.

Yes, at the gallowes. I'le have you hang'd for
robbing me: I shall teach you to attempt any thing on a
Justices Clerke.


Goes forth by the right Scœne.
Susan.

Nay, pray you stay a little longer.


Dorot.

I am weary; wee'l imagine the rest done. I'le
send my Brother forth to make them friends.


Exeunt from the Balcon.
Spruce.

'Tis done sure. Now will I home, proclaime
him a coward, and triumph. Ha! doe they way-lay mee!
the rogue hath hir'd them to beat or rob me. An ague of
feare is upon me. Now could I wish my selfe transform'd
into a beast, and have foure legs. These two which have
beene my most usefull members will surely faile.


Ralph.

Sirrah, you Raskall.


Spruce.

You mistake Sir, I am a Gentleman Vsher.


Ralph.

Then thou abuser of wit and good cloathes, be
mannerly, and uncover to thy betters.



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Spruce.

I hope Gentlemen you doe not meane to rob
me? Trust me, I have no money, but a few farthings of
my Ladies to give poore people.


Ralph.

We will be satisfied with a small diminution of
your plentifull Wardrobe. Wee know you have more
Cloakes and Beavers at home.


Spruce.

No I protest Gentlemen. I have but this onely
case for my Carkasse: and 'twill not be quite paid for til
the next quarter.


Dobs.

Why then Sir, we will beat you handsomly, and
that shall allay our fury.


Spruce.

Nay kinde Gentlemen, I had rather stand to my
Ladies bountie, then be beaten.


Ralph.

Why then thanke our mercy and depart, whilst
we like honest theeves share our booty.


Spruce.

And I find out the Constable.


Goes forth by the right Scœne.