 | The Tvrke |  |
Scena. 3.
Eunuchus solus.Eunu.
This is the houre I should meet my catamite Signior
Bordella: I cannot but laugh to see the slaue make a
lecherous progresse to Lucifer. The morall will hold rarely: he
shall haue his braines fly about his eares in the hight of his venery:
this instead of going to Tymoclea shall conduct him to the
amorous youth must needs be hartyly welcome: for mine owne
part, my hand shall be cleere from the blood of the goate: & yet I
could account it happinesse to be within eare shot of his departure,
to here how lamentably the coxcombe would sigh out Tymoclea:
but the best is, neither Court nor country wil much misse
the foole: there are elder brothers inough to supply his roome:
Enter Bordella.
And see where the Cocoloch appeares: he passeth as if he would
steale to hell without company: whist Signeor.
Bord.
Eunuchus?
Eunu.
The same: now I see thou wilt stand to thy word.
Bord.
Thy Ladie shall see that in my deeds Eunuchus if all the
sweet meates in Florence be prouocatiue.
Eun.
I Sir, but Ladyes are of the nature of Idols and will be
serued on your knees.
Bord.
True, were I not a man of warre whose vallour & magnanimious
courage is not to be deiected so long as his weapon
holds.
Eunu.
Then I perceiue you will shortly be at my Ladies mercy
Bord.
If I should, doubt not her gratious hand in my erection:
but gentle Eunucus, the key that opens to the Via lactea:
Eunu.
Heere Sir, and looke your entrance be warie, soft and
circumspect.
Bord.
I had thought an entrance rough, manly and boistrous
had bene more pleasing to Ladyes:
But see Eunuchus I shall be troubled I shall be tormented
with this court owle if you assist me not: sfoote the flesh-fly
hath espied me, she will neuer linne sucking at me so long as I
haue any matter for her to worke vpon.
Eun.
Who, Madam Fulsome the Gouernesse of the maides? she is a
good creature and very musicall: she sets more instruments aworke
then a Fidler: thou must needs loue her if it were
of the Scullery: and she hates the pride of the flesh excedingly,
and is knowne to be a mortifier of carnality.
Bord.
I verily beleue it, for her very countenance and complexion
shewes she is able to allay any mans courage liuing with
a breath.
Enter two Ladyes and Phego a Gentleman Vsher.
Fulsom.
Phego doe you espie no motions behind the arras, no
squals, mufflings, or pages standing sentinell? or because our head
the Lady Iulia is dead, are al her seruants that is her members in
the same predicament?
Phego.
Surely I see no body stirring Lady: it is supper time
and euery man is prouiding for the belly.
Ful.
It will be shortly time for euery woman to prouide for
the belly too, Phego a word with you.
Bord.
What is that Phego Eunuchus, doe you know him?
Eunu.
How, know him, can I mistake him sir, that is neuer
hoodwinckt? he is an extreme enemy to Haberdashers: affecting
no blocke, but that which nature bestowed on him: and of that
he hath bene so curious that it is not a haire amisse: he is sir the
preface to your compoundresse of mans flesh, and Vshers her to
imployment: and is a creature of singular patience; contenting
himselfe with the Theory, when others are the Practique. In his
pace he imitates Fensers, and stands much vpon distance: He is
partly an Astronomer too, being much giuen to obseruation of
signes: for when the Sunne is in Gemini the Dog-starre attends
without doores: he is a great friend to Aries but naturally hates
Pisces for it is a chill signe and cooles his toes ouer-vehemently:
in briefe sir he is a Gentleman Vsher.
Phego salutes Bordello.
Ful.
Sure Phego that should be signior Bordello: I pray you intreate
his approach: of all our Courtiers I loue men of his country
and breeding, they are the louingst, best spoken, well gract
be borne vnder your northren clyme, to thaw and melt away at
the Sun-shine of beauty: you shall read in very late stories that
many of them haue lost their best members in the seruice of Ladyes
and distressed wayting Gentlewomen.
Bord.
I should account it none of my neerest mishaps,
being interdicted so worthy a presence by more then vrgent
affaires. Sweet Sir beare my excuse with all respectiue desire of
pardon.
Ful.
Whether Signior Bordello in such post-hast: you
forget your old friends: when you came first to Court, you and
I were more in ward man.
Bord.
Being vpon my departure Lady, I am inforced to see
to the conuaying of my goods, and the trussing away of my
bagage.
Ful.
And that word bagage (I will besworne) had bene an apt
phrase for his bringing in, but you purpose not I hope signior to
depart Florence altogether.
Eun.
Oh no: his flight Lady is like the Rauens, that hauing spied
a fat carckase, romes about to calmore of her fellowes to the prey.
Ful.
But signior, haue you so fully furnished your discourse
with obseruation, as with so slight a view of our Gentlewomen
to make a departure? indeed signiour the Ladyes of your country
will exact some obseruatiue relate of your trauels vpon your returne.
Bord.
For our Ladyes Madam they are few or none, our countrey
men are not so addicted to titles of honour: they vse knighthood
as rich Iewellers desire Iemms rather for traficque then ornament.
Phego.
Is there any commoditie to be had in the purchase sir?
Bord.
Great Commoditie, and that is the reason so many marchants
and yeomen sonnes hunt after it.
Ful.
Belike this is one of your obseruations: pray sir be more
open: I see you haue profited much since your comming.
Bord.
For the bettring of mine inward parts, some few notions I
haue committed to memory.
Impart them Signeor: it may be I shall add to your store:
these Ladyes will not discouer vs for intelligencers: they are naturally
giuen to the concealement of priuate actions.
Bord.
Since my comming to Florence I haue seene ignorance
in the shape of a Cittizen mufled in the scarlet of magistracy that
could not write his owne name. Generally I haue noted through
the whole Country great enmity betweene witt and clokes lin'd
through with veluet: and yet beggers & gallants agree together
very familiarly. There is no thriuing but by impudence and pandarisme:
he that is furnished with one of these two quallities shal
begg more of a foolish Lord at a maribone breakfast, then all the
Poets in the whole towne shall rime out of him in an age:
Eun.
But these are but petty obseruations: I haue seene since
my comming to Florence the sonne of a Pedler mounted on a
foote cloth: a fellow created a Lord for the smoothnesse of his
chinne: and which is more; I haue seene a capp most myraculously
turnd into a beauer hatt without either trimming or dressing.
Ful.
That is strange indeed: Signior and Eunuchus, we are to
presse you to a further curtesy in meeting vs in the lobby some
two houres hence at a posset.
Bord.
You shall finde vs as forward in as hot a seruice in the
Lobby or elsewhere at your Ladiships appoint, but—
Ful.
We must haue no denyall.
Eunu.
Canst not say the Court-grace? promise man promise.
Bord.
Your Ladiship shall finde vs ready to put in—our
spoones.
Ful.
Till then adiew Signior and Eunuchus. Phego forward.
Phe.
So long as my ham-strings hold.
Exeunt.
Bord.
You see Eunuchus, familliarity and curtesie hath enwrapt
me in the knowledge of these meanest vassels of honour:
but henceforth my countenance shalbe estranged, and I wil bury
my acquaintance in scilence.
Eunu.
I thinke the Cuckoe foresings his owne dirdge: Signior,
you shall neede no further prescriptions: in the carriere of
your delight, vouchsafe a thought of Eunchus, you conceiue me
Bord.
I were inhumaine if I should forget you the latest minute
of my life: pray heauens my Page Pantofle haue procured in
my absence the embrodered shirt I gaue directions for vpon
both our wardrops: that care once ouer, I shal neuer henceforth
taste of lowsie misfortune.
Courtiers and Porters liue by able backes.
Exeunt
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