University of Virginia Library

Scæna prima.

Enter Slightall, and Mistresse Anne.
Slightall.
I doe protest.

An.
Come, you flatter mee.

Sl.
May I perish then, if ever thought was
Harbour'd in this brest,
That did intend you harme;
Your Father hath consented you shall be mine;
Your Mother still holds off: but having yours,
I care not who withstands;
I am fixt your Servant and true Lover.

An.
And I thine, in spight of Father, Mother, kinsfolkes,
Friends; thy Anne will ne're forsake thee.

Sl.
Then here my dearest, doe I plight a vow,
And sweare by thy owne vertuous grace and sweetnesse,
By those intrammell'd Raies, those star-like eyes
Endymion blushes on; those Ruby lippes,
Where a red Sea of kisses is divided
By rocks of pearle, by these joyn'd hands, and all things
That have tyed my love to thine; Ile ne're forsake thee.

An.
Slightall, My vow is fix'd, no more, my Father.

(Enter Changeable.
Chan.
I have over-heard all,
My blessing on you both:
Slightall, I love thee, and am glad th'hast sped;
How I have pleaded for thee, Minion, you know.

An.
Father I doe, pray you for a while
Conceale it from my Mother.

Chan.
Feare not that wench, how I have labour'd with her
You know well, but no consent from her, it is impossible:
What I have stor'd for thee high Heaven does know,
But 'tis my love, which stil continues to this wayward Girle
Who never could have pleas'd her Father better
Then in this mutuall and conjoyn'd assent.
Ent. Mrs. Changable, & Mr. Treatwell.
Further I would proceed, but see, my wife
Consorted with a stranger.

Wi.
Sir, here's a gentleman (Slightall so neere?)
Desires your conference (no devise at all
To shift him hence?) His businesse craves dispatch,
And is of serious urgence; 'twould become
Your modesty to spare us some few minutes,
Since it no whit concernes you.

Chan.
He shall stay, hee's now ingraft a scien in our Family:
Therefore what us concernes must needs touch him,
Sonne, sonne, be constant to your place I charge you.

Wi.
Sonne?

Chan.
Remove for no man, now sir speake your mind.

Tre.
What in a place so publique?

Chan.
Yes, even here,

Tre.
A place more private would become my message,
And give it gentle hearing.

Wi.
Pray with draw, it comes from a great man.

Chan.
Came it from on of the Guard, from Sir Iohn Falstaffe?
Nay, Hercules himselfe; with bumbast limbes
It should have publique audience.

Wi.
Daughter, a word.

Chan.
Now your bigge man, name him I pray.

Tre.
From the yong Lord Skales.

Chan.
I cry you mercy, my honourable friend, I pray
What service will't please him to command us?

Wi.
Listen unto't, 'tis all for your preferment.

Sl.
Feare and doubt perplex me equally.

Tre.
The Lord my Master, to whom the fame of
Your faire Daughters beauty hath throng'd by infinite
Tongues, hath in his breast
Tooke such a strong impression, that hee's pleas'd
(So your consent and his may paralell)
To make her his faire Bride.

Chan.
How spake you that?

Wi.
You shall be a great Lady.

Chan.
His faire Bride?

Wi.
And take place of al Knights wives in the Shiere.

Tre.
Sir, I have full Commission from his mouth
To treat so much; and what I undertake
He hath engag'd his honour to make good.

Wi.
His honour? so you shall be honourable,
Be every day Caroach'd; and ride in state.

An.
A Lady, and Caroach'd?

Tre.
Pray sir, your answer.

Chan.
I wish his Lordship had not sent so late,
My word is pass'd unto this gentleman;
Which to my power I will not change, nor breake
For any King or Keisar.

Wi.
But you shall sir, and send his Lordship satisfaction
Even to his best desire; tell him from me
She shall attend his pleasure; you shall, Nan,
Vse him with all obsequious reverence,
And gladly embrace his motion; Girle, you shall.

Chan.
Without our approbation?

Wi.
Forward sir, if you withstand the fortune of your Daughter
In this tract of preferment with out yours.
Send him faire humble language, doe my wench
Accept his noble pleasure, and returne him
Courteous and loving thankes; thinke what it is
To be attended, honoured, and advanc'd.
My Lady Anne you shall.

An.
My Lady Anne?

Wi.
How poore and slightly Mistresse Slightall sounds?

An.
Good troth and so it doth.

Tre.
But Donna Anne, Madona, Madam, Lady,
What breadth those Titles beare?

An.
And so they doe.

Wi.
Mistris? thou shalt have such to be thy servants,
And curchy to thee when thou turn'st thy head;
Bow at each nod, and make their Farthingales,
At every word thou speak'st, to kisse their heeles.

Sl.
Well pleaded Grannam Eve.

Chan.
What should I say? or how in equall
Ballance beare my selfe?

Wi.
Footmen, Pages, and your gentlemen Ushers,
Walke bare before you.

An.
Bare before me? well.

Chan.
For all the stiles of honour in the World,
I would not breake my faith.

Wi,
Where I was wont to call thee baggage, Nan,
And paltry Girle, I must not dare to speake to your
Honour, without a Prologue of some halfe an houre long,
Which must begin, an't please your Ladiship.

An.
'Tis passing good an't please my Ladiship.

Chan.
Son Slightall, for that Title Ile still fasten
Upon thy name, advise me' what shall we doe?

Tre.
Me thinkes the motion might be faire and even,
To make her mistresse of her owne free thoughts
And chuse where she best likes.

Wi.
Weele stand to that, let it be put to her.

Chan.
Son, what say you?

Sl.
In her knowne love I am so confident,
And of her faith so constantly assur'd,
So void of all distrust; that I give backe
All interest, Title, claime, and Ceremony
T'attend a second Censure. Mristris Changeable,
You now are your owne woman.

Wi.
Madam, may it please you take a second choise?

Anne.
Here's Gentry, and here's Honour, Mrs. or Madam.
A single ambling Nag, or a Caroach
With foure, foure great Dutch Mares; a private Gentlewoman
Or a great Lady, my worship, or my honour;
To be a Wife to a Squire of low Degree,
Or a Lord Baron: Gentry shall give place,
And in a puff'd stile his Lordship Ile embrace.
Thus, Slightall, I thy Title will out-strip,
That all may say, there goes my Ladyship.

Wi.
You have your answer Slightall, and good sir,
Returne this to my Lord.

Chan.
Sir be my witnesse, I have no hand in this.

Exeunt all but Slightall.
Sl.
All come to this? shone the Sun bright i'th' morne
To be ere Noone envelopp'd in this Cloud?
To be forsooke, despised, and disgrac'd
All for a verball Title? shall I avenge me
On the proud Don, or this his changeable stuffe?
Whose name and disposition suite so well:
Something I must, but in the interim
Never to fixe a constant thought againe
Upon that Moone-like sexe: Ile weigh them all,
Poore, rich, old, yong, and middle Age alike;
Make no distinction 'twixt the loose and chast,
The Matron and the wanton, women kind;
For the so base inconstancy of one,
Henceforth Ile forme my selfe alike to all:
Licentiousnesse shall be my Mistresse now,
Voluptuous pleasure, riot and excesse
My future study; Ile let loose desire
And appetite unbridled; and the more
Of that intemperate Sexe I can corrupt
Count it my greatest deede of Charity:
And for thy sake, thou falsest faire; I vow
Affection and all loyall Love t'abjure,
Striving to make the clearest streames impure.