University of Virginia Library

Scæne. 1.

Enter Changable, his Wife, and Anne.
Chan.
Cross'd at these yeares?

Wi.
Unlesse your wit were gray as wel as your haires;
You grow in yeares, and so you should in wisedome.

Chan.
Taxe my wit? a woman too, to do't?

Wi.
Did you never see a bare face teach a beard?
It is no newes in this so pregnant age.

Chan.
An Age indeed, when smockes must read to britches;
Goe to wife, thou seek'st to make us two that should be one,
Instead of me, th'art wedded to thy will;
I feare we shall repent it.

Wi.
Well, well, man.

Chan.
But I say, ill, ill woman.

Wi.
Why I pray?
Because I seeke the advancement of our house?

Chan.
I would not build so many stories high
On such a weake foundation, lest the Garret
Rear'd on such thin supporters sinke it selfe into the Celler.

Wi.
One of your gravity? I am asham'd, a Justice by
Your place, and can appeare so partiall to your owne;
Whom should your providence devise to raise,
If not your owne? will you be twice a Child?
And now, in this your second infancy,
Not take care for your Cradle?

Chan.
Thou art a shrew.

Wi.
Why then I am no sheepe.

Chan.
An angry woman.

Wi.
It should be then your care to see me better pleas'd.

An.
I pray, good mother, nay, sir.

Chan.
Sir me no sirs, I am no Knight nor Church-man,
There is a third, make me not that by breaking of my faith.

Wi.
Thinke what it is to have a great Lord call you
Father in Law, and so your Daughter a great Lady.

Chan.
So; I had rather see her a good Gentlewoman,
Lawfully great in belly and in purse,
Than swell'd with poyson'd Titles; it to me
Appeares no better than a Timpany,
A griefe not easily cur'd.

Wi.
His Lordship will be here, give him good face,
And curteous Language, or Ile make your boord
As loud as a perpetuall Gossips feast,
Or a discourse of Fish-wives; and your Bed
As if you were to lodge in Loth-bury
Where they turne brazen Candlestickes.

Chan.
So, so.

Wi.
So you are like to finde it.

Chan.
Gentle wife, have patience, and be quiet, Ile give way;
I never heare thy tongue in this high Key,
But I still thinke of the Tower Ordnance,
Or of the peale of Chambers, that's still fir'd
When my Lord Major takes Barge, I will doe any thing,
Good wife please thy selfe, and I am contented.

Wi.
Why well then: Might not this time much better
Have bin spent, t'have taught your Daughter rudiments
Of State? her postures, and decorums, fine French Congees,
And quaint out-landish Garbes? one that hath bin
A Courtier in his youth, and brought nought thence?
Fye, fye; I am asham'd of't.

An.
Looke to the Gate there; me thought I heard one knock.

Wi.
His Lordship sure?

An.
And comes, it seemes, to see my Ladyship;
I feele state come upon me; speake good Mother,
How shall I beare my selfe?

Wi.
Why such at first, as you must be hereafter; like a Lady,
Proud, but not too perverse; Coy, not disdainefull;
Strange, but yet not too straight; like one that would,
Were she well woed, but yet not to be won,
Without some formall Court-ship; had it beene
My case, my wench, when I was yong like thee,
Enter Lord Treatwell.
I could have borne it bravely. See, hee's come,
Husband, your Duty; Girle, your modest blush,
Mixt with a kind of strange, but loving welcome;
Were I as young as once: Your Lordship Sir,
Hath done my House much honour.

Lo.
This the Mistris?

Tre.
Your Mother sir, that must be.

Lo.
I make bold,
And like a rude intruder, presse upon you
Sudden, and unawares.

An.
Is this your Lord?

Lo.
Sir, I desire your more familiar love,
Whom I shall study hereafter to respect
According to your worth and gravity.

Chan.
You crave his love whose service you Command.

An.
I have seene a Thousand private Gentlemen
Both better fac'd and featur'd.

Lo.
Mrs. Anne, for so your name was given me.

An.
Nay kisse better,
Besides, he hath the marke of an ill liver,
He hath not a Nose strong enough.

Wi.
You see sir, what homely entertainement,
And how course our poore House can afford you.

Lo.
Were it base,
But 'tis much better then I yet deserve,
That face alone would make and dignify't;
Your Welcome I approve, good sir, a word:
Nay, Master Treatwell, you may witnesse it,
We doe not trade in secrets.

Both.
At your service.

An.
Mother, a word I pray.

Wi.
What sayes my Child?

An.
Which is his Lord-ship?

Wi.
He that kiss'd you last.

An.
Troth I felt no more honour from his lippes
Than from another man, nay scarce so much;
For Slightall kisses better.

Wi.
Minion, how?

An.
I tell you as I finde; his Lordship? good now
Tell me, in what place of his body lyes it?
If in the face or foot, the Crowne or Toe,
The Body, arme, or legge, the backe, or bosome,
Without him, or within? I see no more
In him than in another Gentleman.

Wi.
Part of it lyes in what he left behind,
Observance, state, retinue, and attendance,
Of which you must partake.

An.
Lord, who'de have thought it?
Would he had sent that part of his Lordship hither,
And stay'd himselfe behind; but where's his honour?

Wi,
Do'st thou not see him there?

An.
Him, but not it.

Wi.
How cast thou foole? his Nobility lyes in his blood,

An.
'Tis that I faine would see.

Wi.
His Blood?

An.
Yes, if his Lordship live in that.
Would you match me to a thing invisible?
Where I bestow my selfe Ile see and feele,
And chuse to my owne liking.

Wi.
Art thou mad?

An.
So you would make me; this is but a man,
And I can find a man to my owne liking and never trouble him.

Wi.
This foolish baggage will crosse all we would compasse.

Chan.
I am plaine sir;
I have not much to give, yet I would stretch
My utmost, to my poore ability,
To shew my selfe a Father, what she wants
In meanes she hath in Gentry; that my blood
Can witnesse for her: something too besides
Though not sufficient to ennoble her,
Yet still to make her a good Gentlewoman,
And that's all my ambition.

Lo.
And that's all I can demand.

Tre.
His Lordship askes no more.

Chan.
Provided still, all be with her consent,
For Ile force nothing, wer't from a stranger,
Much lesse from my Childe.

Lo.
There's no condition you have yet propos'd
But warrants grant, they are so reasonable.

An.
Till now I had thought, your Lords, and Noble men
Had bin possess'd of many worthier parts,
Where meaner men are scanted; but I see
All's one, or little difference.

Lo.
Mistris Anne, it were superfluous to begin a Suite
Which hath before beene entred; and I know
Made knowne to you ere this; I come not now
For motion, but for answer: All those honours.
Titles, and Dignities conferr'd on me
We likewise doe communicate with you.

Wi.
Which she is ready to accept.

An.
Good mother, 'tis me, not you, whom this affaire concernes:
You gave your owne free answer to my Father,
So give me leave to doe where I affect,
The good or bad is mine; not touches you
That are dispos'd already.

Chan.
My good wench, I doe commend thee for't.

Wi.
Will you still prate?

Chan.
No more wife, I have done.

Wi.
Or I shall but begin. My Lord, proceed.

Lo.
Court Ladies I have often seene and tryed,
Faire Country Damsels, Virgins of choice beauty,
Bred from the City Scarlet, and 'mong these
I might have made my choise, but all relinquish'd
To place affection here; what comfort, Lady?

An.
Faith little in that name:
Title my Lord, is a cold Bed-fellow,
And many study stile that marry cares;
Can honour helpe in Child-birth? or Nobility
Us priviledge from throwes?

Lo.
Why no such thing.

An.
What is this honour then?

Lo.
Why Ceremony;
The gift of Princes, and the pride of States,
Regard in the Weale publicke, and imployment,
Respect, and duty.

Wi.
Which from his preheminence
Must by meere consequence redownd to you.

An.
You talke like an old woman, not like one
That should make her first choise, as I must now;
When I am griev'd, can honour cure my heart?
If discontent, can my Nobility
Give ease unto my Corsives? when your Lordship
Is with your Trulls and Concubines abroad,
Where is my loving Husband then at home
To keepe me warme at midnight?

Lo.
I am hee.

An.
Sir, that's the thing I doubt.

Lo.
Why, I intreat you?

An.
You are a man?

Lo.
I am so.

An.
A Lord too?

Lo.
It is confess'd.

An.
Could you not lend your Lordship to a friend,
And keepe the man your selfe?

Lo.
To whom I pray?

An.
To a poore Gentleman, one Master Slightall,
Who, had he but that slight Addition,
I gladly would embrace.

Lo.
You trifle with me.

An.
Therefore to shew me serious, Noble man,
I take my leave thus gently.

Wi.
That's no answer; Why Nan, why Minion, good your
Lordship, take nought in ill part; a peevish thing,
God wot, that wants a little tutering.

Lo.
Slightall quoth a? if she slight all as she hath slighted me,
Shee'le fright hence all her Suters.

Chan.
This I told you.

Wi.
Still will you prate? wil't please your honour, take
Such cheere as this our suddainenesse affords?
And there's no question but ere dinner's done
This Tempest will blow over.

Lo.
Ile take your kindnesse,
Hee's no good Souldier that at first repulse
Will leave the Breach: belike she's fasting now,
Ile take her in full stomacke.

Wi.
Please you enter?
Attendance for his Lordship.

Exeunt.